Tuesday, December 31, 2002
“ Story of the Year”
Okay most major cable networks and media outlets are reflecting on the year that was. Enron, Iraq, the Olympics scandal, that lord of the rings sequel, Trent Lott, Michael Jackson being all strange, and of course Martha Stewart. Well I am not big enough to cover all those thing in depths so why not let my readers vote on the story of the year from a list based solely on the social aspects of my meaningless life.
Sure, its shallow but who cares? Okay many reading this don’t even know that some of this stuff happened or weren’t impacted but you can still vote on the story that SEEMS the biggest. Keep in mind the story has to have had the greatest impact on the crew, the most biggest story that effected the natural order of things the most. Just send in your vote to Mst3keith@aol.com be sure to put Tucker’s World in the subject so I don’t think that its spam and delete it. Remember these are impact stories, not amusing ones like the Brant and Dan K. stories.
A.
Jenna decides to come back to South Jersey after getting her degree. Eventually she ends up back in her old job at the Sears Retail Outlet much to many drooling associates delight. Her return changes the crew into a co-ed collection because of her constant presence. She does make an impact cleaning up after us, and cooking us food. She also gives us insights when we seek advice on females even if its just to call her a word rhyming with hunt. Anyway its like she never left, but she certainly did change the social order in the crew and mixed things up. Drew thinks the will be the death of the crew.
B.
Superman and Lois Lane, Kermit and Miss Piggy, Ben and J. Lo., Cousin Balki and Mary-Ann all famous couples. But what about Jay and Jenna? These two love birds have been crazy about each other since cell phones were the size of Rick’s cock. The minute Jenna came back we all made predictions on when these two crazy kids would end up in each others arms. Of course they did, than they didn’t, than they did again, than she said she would never touch him again, than she did. Basically they have been on and again off again to point of annoyance. Even when they are off, they seem like they are on. Jenna did see other people while Jay um…….well Jay sat around and farted a lot. ? After dating more guys than the average attendance at Phillies game at last minute Jenna decides to get in a exclusive relationship with Jay. Has love truly blossomed or was it a stunt to get make this a stronger candidate for story of the year?
C. Bored one day Ryan and I decide we need a nickname for one of our friends. We had been calling Jay Sparkey for awhile but it didn’t pan out despite girls enjoying it. I want to name him Boogie like Mickey Rourke in Diner, but we end up calling him Lima Beanz. That’s right with a Z. We even make up a story about how he carried lima beans around when he was a kid for almost no good reason. The name caught on. He also answers to Beanzie, and LB.
D. After losing a year of his life due to massive DVD debts and greasy unhealthy New Brunswick food Drew finally makes it law school. Not only does he make it (I bet against him) he makes it through his first semester. He also makes friend and stars in a play no one sees or cares about. He also reveals that he ISNT gay.
E. Ryan admits that cupid (isn’t his corpse still rotting in Rick’s closet?) has struck him in the previously non-existent heart. Much to our surprise he in a serious relationship with a girl he met at Rowan. She is a cool whacky little chick and kind of cute so he did okay. However things go sour and crew girlfriend approval rating plummets after some controversial incidents. They would have nothing to do with and idiot blogger who has the tendency to run his mouth. NOTHING..okay maybe a little something. Damn Drew. Anyway this relationship has been the round table discussion many a night, some people think he is kept from his friends too much, others think that’s the natural course of things. Ryan’s own mother even takes a shot at the poor guy. A lot of drama has come out of this relationship and a lot of debate.
Other considerations include me actually finishing college, Dan K moving to Mainstreet, Rick and his new love interest, my jealous rage over Duke getting with one of Alyssa’s friends, everyone but me and jenna getting new cars. Jenna breaking up with Arron.
Email me at MST3keith@aol.com you have one week to get your vote in.
HAPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
Eventhough I will see some of my readers the next few days. I won't see all of you so I want wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Even if you don't like it. Too bad... I already have wished you a Merry Christmas it is too late. As a little present I have put up short story I wrote awhile back. Its not a Charlie Brown Christmas, but I like it.
"The Gift"
Some time around the first week of the year. I took a second look at one of our traditional Christmas decorations; it was a complete and total eyesore. It was a gift some old lady gave my mother 10 years ago for Christmas and I guess she felt obligated to put it on the tree each year. It was a gaudy looking knitted cat. It was one the most hideous things I have ever laid eyes on. They say its thought that counts well it’s the thought that angers me when I see it every year.
That same Christmas like every year an epidemic spread through the grade school. This year it was in the form of Sega, the newest video game system. Over greasy square pizza, pale yellow peas, and flavorless mashed potatoes shaped like an ice cream scoop, I would hear all the kids discuss the latest video games. I would try my best to stay absent from the conversation. I wouldn’t know what to say when they would ask me if I had gotten past the castle board yet.
One day went I went home I sat my father down and tried to tell him how I would benefit from having a Sega game system of my very own. I told him it would give me better hand eye coordination and against the popular notion it made kids zombies, I told him it acutally made them think and make quick decisions. He went on and on about how when he was a kid he would just use his imagination to have fun, and how kids today are spoiled. I think that conversation is had all over America in every family at one point and time. I used to think that my parents and all the other parents would go to secret meetings at night or when all their kids were in school and discuss stuff like this. I pictured a man with a gavel leading the meeting and hammering home the idea of telling children why they are spoiled and to shove vegetables down their throats. One time I actually searched my mother’s purse for a pamphlet when they got home late the night before.
That Christmas I was hoping for a miracle. I rushed down the steps that morning and studied each mystery. I did the shake test, the weight test and the hold them up to the sunlight test. As I tore, open each one my chances of getting the coveted Sega was getting slimmer and slimmer. All kinds of flashes were going off from my mother’s camera capturing images of me, and my reactions to each present.
Later that day my family and I went to my aunt and uncle’s for dinner. I was in a miserable mood the whole time. The only bright spot was that my cousin Robby who was about my age was there. And guess what he got for Christmas? Of course the very same Sega system. He told me he got it weeks before Christmas even came. Robby and I were always highly competitive. So while the sweet smell of the pending ham dinner dissipated through the air we settled down in front of the television. With all those weeks of practice, he had on me he humiliated me. I think he set a record for goals scored in a hockey game, shot my plane down about a dozen times, and beat me all over the wrestling ring. I went home feeling worse than I did when I realized I wasn’t getting the Sega.
On the ride home my father tried to reach out to me. But I just pushed him away. The image of my wrestler I was controlling laying on the floor after about 30 seconds was burning in my mind. I sat in fit of rage in the back seat as my parents were in the front. My father turned the radio down. He told me that maybe one day I would get one. But I didn’t hear it. I wanted to tell him how Robby’s parents weren’t any richer than we, that I was the only kid that didn’t have a Sega. But all that came out at the top of my tiny lungs was I HATE YOU! And instead of saying anything after that. I just repeated I HATE YOU! Because he was driving of course he had his back to me. But we passed a street light that light up the rear view window and I glimpse of his face. Suddenly I didn’t want to yell anymore. I didn’t apologize either, in fact no one said anything. The car just hummed along the rest of the ride.
About two months later I got a Sega for my birthday. It funny the minute I unwrapped the gift and realized what it was, I almost had to fake excitement. Sure I spend many a night in the glow of my television going to far off lands and winning championships, but I could never take those words back. At least in a video game you are blessed with more than one life. At the time I meant the words that came out of my mouth. I hated my father as much as I hate that stupid knit cat now. One time after coming home from a fishing trip with my father after many years of those words keeping me up at night, it figured it was time to apologize. However my mouth froze, I never did. I like to think that my father knew what I was thinking. Like I said they say it’s the thought that counts.
I put the rest of the ornaments in a box, and I carried them basement. I placed them in a closet we hardly used. It was full of dust and mildew. I rested the box right on top of the Sega.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TOO ALL MY READERS AND I HOPE YOU ALL GET LOTS OF COOL STUFF FROM SANTA
"The Gift"
Some time around the first week of the year. I took a second look at one of our traditional Christmas decorations; it was a complete and total eyesore. It was a gift some old lady gave my mother 10 years ago for Christmas and I guess she felt obligated to put it on the tree each year. It was a gaudy looking knitted cat. It was one the most hideous things I have ever laid eyes on. They say its thought that counts well it’s the thought that angers me when I see it every year.
That same Christmas like every year an epidemic spread through the grade school. This year it was in the form of Sega, the newest video game system. Over greasy square pizza, pale yellow peas, and flavorless mashed potatoes shaped like an ice cream scoop, I would hear all the kids discuss the latest video games. I would try my best to stay absent from the conversation. I wouldn’t know what to say when they would ask me if I had gotten past the castle board yet.
One day went I went home I sat my father down and tried to tell him how I would benefit from having a Sega game system of my very own. I told him it would give me better hand eye coordination and against the popular notion it made kids zombies, I told him it acutally made them think and make quick decisions. He went on and on about how when he was a kid he would just use his imagination to have fun, and how kids today are spoiled. I think that conversation is had all over America in every family at one point and time. I used to think that my parents and all the other parents would go to secret meetings at night or when all their kids were in school and discuss stuff like this. I pictured a man with a gavel leading the meeting and hammering home the idea of telling children why they are spoiled and to shove vegetables down their throats. One time I actually searched my mother’s purse for a pamphlet when they got home late the night before.
That Christmas I was hoping for a miracle. I rushed down the steps that morning and studied each mystery. I did the shake test, the weight test and the hold them up to the sunlight test. As I tore, open each one my chances of getting the coveted Sega was getting slimmer and slimmer. All kinds of flashes were going off from my mother’s camera capturing images of me, and my reactions to each present.
Later that day my family and I went to my aunt and uncle’s for dinner. I was in a miserable mood the whole time. The only bright spot was that my cousin Robby who was about my age was there. And guess what he got for Christmas? Of course the very same Sega system. He told me he got it weeks before Christmas even came. Robby and I were always highly competitive. So while the sweet smell of the pending ham dinner dissipated through the air we settled down in front of the television. With all those weeks of practice, he had on me he humiliated me. I think he set a record for goals scored in a hockey game, shot my plane down about a dozen times, and beat me all over the wrestling ring. I went home feeling worse than I did when I realized I wasn’t getting the Sega.
On the ride home my father tried to reach out to me. But I just pushed him away. The image of my wrestler I was controlling laying on the floor after about 30 seconds was burning in my mind. I sat in fit of rage in the back seat as my parents were in the front. My father turned the radio down. He told me that maybe one day I would get one. But I didn’t hear it. I wanted to tell him how Robby’s parents weren’t any richer than we, that I was the only kid that didn’t have a Sega. But all that came out at the top of my tiny lungs was I HATE YOU! And instead of saying anything after that. I just repeated I HATE YOU! Because he was driving of course he had his back to me. But we passed a street light that light up the rear view window and I glimpse of his face. Suddenly I didn’t want to yell anymore. I didn’t apologize either, in fact no one said anything. The car just hummed along the rest of the ride.
About two months later I got a Sega for my birthday. It funny the minute I unwrapped the gift and realized what it was, I almost had to fake excitement. Sure I spend many a night in the glow of my television going to far off lands and winning championships, but I could never take those words back. At least in a video game you are blessed with more than one life. At the time I meant the words that came out of my mouth. I hated my father as much as I hate that stupid knit cat now. One time after coming home from a fishing trip with my father after many years of those words keeping me up at night, it figured it was time to apologize. However my mouth froze, I never did. I like to think that my father knew what I was thinking. Like I said they say it’s the thought that counts.
I put the rest of the ornaments in a box, and I carried them basement. I placed them in a closet we hardly used. It was full of dust and mildew. I rested the box right on top of the Sega.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TOO ALL MY READERS AND I HOPE YOU ALL GET LOTS OF COOL STUFF FROM SANTA
Monday, December 23, 2002
“Last Minute Shoppers”
Okay as a service to my loyal readers I am going to give you some hints for last minute Christmas shopping. Although I doubt all these people are on of your lists.
Trent Lott: A White Christmas
Flyers Center Jeremy Roenick: Anger management classes
NHL Commissioner Garry Bettman: A clue. Maybe a tape of fans cheering at games when a fight breaks out or a big hit is thrown.
Dan K.: A stool and a short but sturdy rope.
Elijah Wood: Tickets to that play about Santa Claus being gay playing in Philly. Perhaps this will get him to come out of the closet. Don’t ask me why I know about this play.
Ryan: A map of the country for when he drives west.
Allen Iverson: A scanner so he knows if the evil Philadelphia cops are lurking behind him.
Al Gore: A radio show so the liberals can quit bitching.
Ryan’s GF: A ball of yarn..she is a cat !!!! MEOW
Avril: A big warm hug to keep her warm on a damn cold night!
Michelle Smith: A new car
Apsen: A Chocolate bar twice the size of her, because sometimes a girl just needs Chocolate…I am not sure what that means.
Jenna: Anything is better than what I got her.
Rick: A crown
Drew: A Christmas Mircale. Read his blog. Some one give him a hug or something
TERMINUS
If I succeded here..its my first HYPER-Link on Tucker's World. Although I doubt I did. I hate Computers.
Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks: A hulla-hoop. As far as I know he still wants one.
Ed: Pictures of the crew
Price: Gay porn so he gets discharged.
“Welcome to Comcast Country IV: It Came A Upon a Channel 34 Clear”
Well for my new readers that don’t know the on going story on Tucker’s World. I am documenting what will lead to a monopoly following the Comcast Company’s growth and its occasional abuse of their customers.
In September, the company flipped Comcast Sportsnet which carries all the local sports teams except the Eagles from channel 9 to 69. Now unless you are lucky enough to have digital cable (more than half of their subscribers don’t) You noticed that one or least one of your TVs Comcastsportsnet came in fuzzy and sometimes not at all. After various complaints and phone calls my family never got the problem solved and I was forced to watch the Flyers through my VCR, in order to get a grainy but watchable picture.
Finally they are going to put it on channel 34, and flip the Weather Channel to channel 57. That makes the Hallmark channel go to ….ahh who cares?
Well it took months of customers and bars bitching, and they finally did something about it. But they couldn’t admit their fault and put it back to channel 9. Because I still believe in my heart that it was a scam to drum up more digital customers…It was a nice Christmas present but the company’s dirty tricks are far from over I am afraid.
Thursday, December 19, 2002
All things are difficult before they are easy” Thomas Fuller
“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it…that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear”------ Dale Carnegie
“Come to the edge, He Said.
They said, We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said
They Came
He pushed them….and they flew.”------- Gulliaume Apollinarie
“Final Thoughts”
The FINALS DAYS off college on Tuckers world come to and end today. At the wee hour of 8 A.M. I finished had my last final EVER. It was strange being on the road at the hour when cars still had headlights on and the sun wasn’t quite up yet. 2 years ago I was walking on the same campus for my orientation. It was just as brisk and early that day. I left that campus kind of the same way I entered it walking in the cold not knowing what to expect the next couple of years.
I left the campus for the last time perhaps until I walk in May. More students will fill in my place, and no one will notice. Other parking spot sharks will devour my spot. The insanely hot girls will walk around in their tight, tight jeans with some one else ogling them from afar. Hmmm..perhaps I have to tone this down now that females other than Jenna read this! Or some I am told.
Well now I have to go out to the cold hard cruel world full of featherless chickens, and gay sheep. A world where someone nicknamed Lima Beanz can coach wrestling. Armed with a $ 60 thousand piece of paper and a hand full of references the time to hunt for a job that doesn’t involve the words scratch and dented has begun. I will have to frantically knock on doors and yell, because of the horrible job market. It might sound like German when I yell though since I have not pinpointed exactly what I want to do with my energy yet.
I applied online for a model scout a few months ago. You basically look at hot girls all day long. But to get an interview you have to answer questions online about modeling. They were multiple choice and seemed easy. I guess my dream is dead. Maybe I can sweep the parking lot like Ryan used to at Laurel Hill Plaza. Seriously, I am leaning towards inside sales, promotions, marketing, or maybe even public relations. Hmm..what did I do with that Graduate Student packet?
Some people never went to college, and I never went away to college. I am glad I did go though. I met a lot of cool people at CCC and Rowan. I did talk to people and realized how even though most of us come from different backgrounds and have different social lives we are all pretty much the same in some aspects. I just enjoyed Bullsh**ing with various other students about anything under the sun really. I actually learn some things while in the classroom too. I even dating a few Rowan girls. Okay so most of them went no where.
I spent two and a half years at CCC, and actually started there with four friends. I was the only one who stuck it out go get a degree from Blackwood U. I found some of the basic courses at Rowan a lot easier than the ones at CCC. Professors at Rowan (at least in my non-major classes) frequently cancelled class or let us go early. Which is not so much a bad thing until you realize they get paid for that and you paid them for not teaching you. Maybe Rob Arter is on to something perusing that field.
My whole life has consisted of me sitting at a desk in a learning atmosphere. 18.5 years of my barely 23 years of existence I have been labeled a STUDENT. Most of the time when your young say how you cant wait to be a grown up. Now I wonder why anyone says that. I think it would work better if we started out as old men and got younger and younger, wouldn’t be a better deal to spend your golden years playing tag? Being a student had just become routine and I sometimes it would amaze me I was still taking classes. Now that is no longer the case. Time to start asking myself the hard questions instead of some professor.
Yeah I know the blog has been just all about ME ME ME during this mini-series. It will revert back to the usual mixed bag of topics soon enough and trust me there are various current events I want to address. But I am sure some of the stuff I am going through people can relate too, and writing about some of the old times even had me laughing. I am excited, confused, kinda sad, really happy, ready to move on, and wondering how the heck 4.5 years went by that fast.
Okay Real World here I am. Keith Edward Hughes!!!! (aka Tucker) Please be gentle!
“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it…that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear”------ Dale Carnegie
“Come to the edge, He Said.
They said, We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said
They Came
He pushed them….and they flew.”------- Gulliaume Apollinarie
“Final Thoughts”
The FINALS DAYS off college on Tuckers world come to and end today. At the wee hour of 8 A.M. I finished had my last final EVER. It was strange being on the road at the hour when cars still had headlights on and the sun wasn’t quite up yet. 2 years ago I was walking on the same campus for my orientation. It was just as brisk and early that day. I left that campus kind of the same way I entered it walking in the cold not knowing what to expect the next couple of years.
I left the campus for the last time perhaps until I walk in May. More students will fill in my place, and no one will notice. Other parking spot sharks will devour my spot. The insanely hot girls will walk around in their tight, tight jeans with some one else ogling them from afar. Hmmm..perhaps I have to tone this down now that females other than Jenna read this! Or some I am told.
Well now I have to go out to the cold hard cruel world full of featherless chickens, and gay sheep. A world where someone nicknamed Lima Beanz can coach wrestling. Armed with a $ 60 thousand piece of paper and a hand full of references the time to hunt for a job that doesn’t involve the words scratch and dented has begun. I will have to frantically knock on doors and yell, because of the horrible job market. It might sound like German when I yell though since I have not pinpointed exactly what I want to do with my energy yet.
I applied online for a model scout a few months ago. You basically look at hot girls all day long. But to get an interview you have to answer questions online about modeling. They were multiple choice and seemed easy. I guess my dream is dead. Maybe I can sweep the parking lot like Ryan used to at Laurel Hill Plaza. Seriously, I am leaning towards inside sales, promotions, marketing, or maybe even public relations. Hmm..what did I do with that Graduate Student packet?
Some people never went to college, and I never went away to college. I am glad I did go though. I met a lot of cool people at CCC and Rowan. I did talk to people and realized how even though most of us come from different backgrounds and have different social lives we are all pretty much the same in some aspects. I just enjoyed Bullsh**ing with various other students about anything under the sun really. I actually learn some things while in the classroom too. I even dating a few Rowan girls. Okay so most of them went no where.
I spent two and a half years at CCC, and actually started there with four friends. I was the only one who stuck it out go get a degree from Blackwood U. I found some of the basic courses at Rowan a lot easier than the ones at CCC. Professors at Rowan (at least in my non-major classes) frequently cancelled class or let us go early. Which is not so much a bad thing until you realize they get paid for that and you paid them for not teaching you. Maybe Rob Arter is on to something perusing that field.
My whole life has consisted of me sitting at a desk in a learning atmosphere. 18.5 years of my barely 23 years of existence I have been labeled a STUDENT. Most of the time when your young say how you cant wait to be a grown up. Now I wonder why anyone says that. I think it would work better if we started out as old men and got younger and younger, wouldn’t be a better deal to spend your golden years playing tag? Being a student had just become routine and I sometimes it would amaze me I was still taking classes. Now that is no longer the case. Time to start asking myself the hard questions instead of some professor.
Yeah I know the blog has been just all about ME ME ME during this mini-series. It will revert back to the usual mixed bag of topics soon enough and trust me there are various current events I want to address. But I am sure some of the stuff I am going through people can relate too, and writing about some of the old times even had me laughing. I am excited, confused, kinda sad, really happy, ready to move on, and wondering how the heck 4.5 years went by that fast.
Okay Real World here I am. Keith Edward Hughes!!!! (aka Tucker) Please be gentle!
Monday, December 16, 2002
“First you jump off the cliff and you build your wings on the way down”-------Ray Bradbury
Time is growing shorter and shorter until the end of my career as a student. The time to try to find a away out of the Sears Outlet for good has arrived. However, tonight I had a nice dinner made for me by a friend in a class a few semesters back. After wards I got see a dry run of a puppet show she had to do for her puppetry class (don’t ask) . Pretty sweet deal for my last weekend night as a student.
Well I was thinking as I left the Rowan Campus tonight about some of my greatest Rowan moments. So lets us continue the FINAL DAYS of COLLEGE on Tucker's World.
“Moments in Time”
I got ridiculously drunk at a sorority house that Ryan brings the crew and me to. I was not even a Rowan student at the time, but I certainly gave them a warning that I was on the way. Over the course of the night I managed to smash part of a birthday cake, knock a picture off a wall, trip over a broken clothes rack clunking my head on a doorknob, and almost killed a bird.
Before you get all offended let me plead my case. My friends were all in the van waiting for me to rejoin them after I took a last minute potty stop. I was extremely intoxicated and for some reason no one bothered to safely escort me to the van. I went looking for my friends and saw them through the screened in porch. Wanting to save time (and avoid more destruction) I used the patio as a shortcut. However I was in no condition to get the complicated door open. While messing with the door I toppled over a birdcage, and down when the cage bird and all hurling towards the floor.
I watched in drunken horror as the light glistened of the falling cage, and the sound over changing thin metal mixed with squawking and feather flapping. A lame attempt to play it off ( it didn’t work judging by a girl screaming) was followed by a failed attempt to erect the cage and put the bird food that had spilled all over the floor back into the cage. Seeing as were I didn’t have the cage upright the food kept spilling out, and I kept sweeping it back in repeatedly. This Charlie Chaplin like whacky routine was put to and end when Rob Arter ( I miss him so much) came in and put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head. He helped my drunk ass get out of there. The bird died 3 months later. I clam no responsibility for his death.
###
Another time we had a party in the same sorority house to go to. The crew grew bored of the party and frustrated with only fat chicks living there so they turned to destruction. The revolt was lead by Dan K. who usually encourages senseless acts of destruction and mayhem. He started it off by intentally smashing a vodka bottle on the floor leaving shattered glass and booze for someone else to clean up.
The destruction didn’t stop there. Holes were punched in the screened in porch for no reason, cereal boxes were punched open, the fridge was kicked several times, credit card bills were torn to bits, a sweat shirt was stolen (but lima beanz’s brother who was covered in jello) a cordless phone was stolen and smashed in the street. The night almost got out of hand when a drunken ryan picked up a piece of pile wood full of nails looking for something to make contact with. Oddly enough, Dan K. stopped him
####
Yet another story involved just me and that stupid house. It was the end of my Public Relations Planning class, a really intense course for the major. During the semester, your group is to put an actual plan and present it to a real client. Anyway the last night when the final product had to be completed I figured since my portion of the plan had been finished I could just stay home and didn’t bother to contact anyone in my group. So I sit around on the couch like a slug while my group hurries to meet the deadline the which is the next day. I innocently sign on line to check my email before I go to bed, and am bombarded with angry IMS from group members.I think they tired to send me a virus. I finally make the drive out to the house (where ironically a girl in my group had lived at during the other two stories before I knew her) and let me tell you….you don’t want 6 girls angry at you at the same time. Being the only guy in the group was hell at times, but this was hell at its worse. I honestly thought they were going to murder me. Luckily I charmed them all into liking me again.
###
Last year I spent many a night at MainStreet Bar with other public relations students getting intoxicated. Luckily one time I was up there I met this girl who I became friends with who lived on campus. This allowed me to get drunk and have a place to crash. The nights up there were great some of the most fun I had in the 2 years I went there were at the dive bar (although horrible when I brought anyone from my area). Hot girls. drunken friends doing karaoke. Anyway, this girl that lived on campus was quite friendly if you know what I mean.
So the first night I got back to her apartment to stay over I thought for sure I was going to get ..uh something. BUt I managed to have her sleep on my arm when she passed out. I just laid there and stared at the ceiling which was spinning at the time.
###
Another time at Mainstreet a female friend of mine went into the mens room cause the line was shorter….it was pretty whacky I guess you had to be there. Another time at Mainstreet I met a hot girl that looked like one of the Olsen twins (the hot one). She bumped and grinded on me, eventually I bought her a drink, than she vanished. I think she lost a bet or something. All I know is I was a sucker that night! Hmm.. there was the time I mistook this really hot chick I talked to on campus for another really hot chick I knew on campus and talked to her as if she was the other. She must think I am a lunatic now. Oh yeah, and I almost could have been expelled when someone my group project plagiarized his part of the paper (unbeknownst to me)…allegedly.
####
I also loved going to see Ryan’s grandparents who lived a few miles away from Campus on the short lived Ryan Mondays. It was cool, because it was my first semester and I didn’t really have any friends on campus yet. Plus his grandparents are cool as hell and would always feed me.
Just the concept of hot ass girls sitting all around me ( I took lots PR and pysch. Classes there which are always girl heavy) while I chill in class. This one chick that sat in front of me would always were a low cut pair of jeans and a thong. I will think of these things when I am navigating through Monster.com for a job.
Time is growing shorter and shorter until the end of my career as a student. The time to try to find a away out of the Sears Outlet for good has arrived. However, tonight I had a nice dinner made for me by a friend in a class a few semesters back. After wards I got see a dry run of a puppet show she had to do for her puppetry class (don’t ask) . Pretty sweet deal for my last weekend night as a student.
Well I was thinking as I left the Rowan Campus tonight about some of my greatest Rowan moments. So lets us continue the FINAL DAYS of COLLEGE on Tucker's World.
“Moments in Time”
I got ridiculously drunk at a sorority house that Ryan brings the crew and me to. I was not even a Rowan student at the time, but I certainly gave them a warning that I was on the way. Over the course of the night I managed to smash part of a birthday cake, knock a picture off a wall, trip over a broken clothes rack clunking my head on a doorknob, and almost killed a bird.
Before you get all offended let me plead my case. My friends were all in the van waiting for me to rejoin them after I took a last minute potty stop. I was extremely intoxicated and for some reason no one bothered to safely escort me to the van. I went looking for my friends and saw them through the screened in porch. Wanting to save time (and avoid more destruction) I used the patio as a shortcut. However I was in no condition to get the complicated door open. While messing with the door I toppled over a birdcage, and down when the cage bird and all hurling towards the floor.
I watched in drunken horror as the light glistened of the falling cage, and the sound over changing thin metal mixed with squawking and feather flapping. A lame attempt to play it off ( it didn’t work judging by a girl screaming) was followed by a failed attempt to erect the cage and put the bird food that had spilled all over the floor back into the cage. Seeing as were I didn’t have the cage upright the food kept spilling out, and I kept sweeping it back in repeatedly. This Charlie Chaplin like whacky routine was put to and end when Rob Arter ( I miss him so much) came in and put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head. He helped my drunk ass get out of there. The bird died 3 months later. I clam no responsibility for his death.
###
Another time we had a party in the same sorority house to go to. The crew grew bored of the party and frustrated with only fat chicks living there so they turned to destruction. The revolt was lead by Dan K. who usually encourages senseless acts of destruction and mayhem. He started it off by intentally smashing a vodka bottle on the floor leaving shattered glass and booze for someone else to clean up.
The destruction didn’t stop there. Holes were punched in the screened in porch for no reason, cereal boxes were punched open, the fridge was kicked several times, credit card bills were torn to bits, a sweat shirt was stolen (but lima beanz’s brother who was covered in jello) a cordless phone was stolen and smashed in the street. The night almost got out of hand when a drunken ryan picked up a piece of pile wood full of nails looking for something to make contact with. Oddly enough, Dan K. stopped him
####
Yet another story involved just me and that stupid house. It was the end of my Public Relations Planning class, a really intense course for the major. During the semester, your group is to put an actual plan and present it to a real client. Anyway the last night when the final product had to be completed I figured since my portion of the plan had been finished I could just stay home and didn’t bother to contact anyone in my group. So I sit around on the couch like a slug while my group hurries to meet the deadline the which is the next day. I innocently sign on line to check my email before I go to bed, and am bombarded with angry IMS from group members.I think they tired to send me a virus. I finally make the drive out to the house (where ironically a girl in my group had lived at during the other two stories before I knew her) and let me tell you….you don’t want 6 girls angry at you at the same time. Being the only guy in the group was hell at times, but this was hell at its worse. I honestly thought they were going to murder me. Luckily I charmed them all into liking me again.
###
Last year I spent many a night at MainStreet Bar with other public relations students getting intoxicated. Luckily one time I was up there I met this girl who I became friends with who lived on campus. This allowed me to get drunk and have a place to crash. The nights up there were great some of the most fun I had in the 2 years I went there were at the dive bar (although horrible when I brought anyone from my area). Hot girls. drunken friends doing karaoke. Anyway, this girl that lived on campus was quite friendly if you know what I mean.
So the first night I got back to her apartment to stay over I thought for sure I was going to get ..uh something. BUt I managed to have her sleep on my arm when she passed out. I just laid there and stared at the ceiling which was spinning at the time.
###
Another time at Mainstreet a female friend of mine went into the mens room cause the line was shorter….it was pretty whacky I guess you had to be there. Another time at Mainstreet I met a hot girl that looked like one of the Olsen twins (the hot one). She bumped and grinded on me, eventually I bought her a drink, than she vanished. I think she lost a bet or something. All I know is I was a sucker that night! Hmm.. there was the time I mistook this really hot chick I talked to on campus for another really hot chick I knew on campus and talked to her as if she was the other. She must think I am a lunatic now. Oh yeah, and I almost could have been expelled when someone my group project plagiarized his part of the paper (unbeknownst to me)…allegedly.
####
I also loved going to see Ryan’s grandparents who lived a few miles away from Campus on the short lived Ryan Mondays. It was cool, because it was my first semester and I didn’t really have any friends on campus yet. Plus his grandparents are cool as hell and would always feed me.
Just the concept of hot ass girls sitting all around me ( I took lots PR and pysch. Classes there which are always girl heavy) while I chill in class. This one chick that sat in front of me would always were a low cut pair of jeans and a thong. I will think of these things when I am navigating through Monster.com for a job.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
“You miss 100 % of the shots you never take”----- Wayne Gretzky
The FINAL DAYS of COLLEGE continues with the tale of two people that are not me, by the time most of you read this I will be leaving my last class EVER.
“You Can Always Go Home Again”
Some things make me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Regan telling me she is cat. Imposter honey mustard at Starview Diner. Blue Flyers jerseys. Willam H. Macy’s face. Most recently added to the list was Christopher Brandon Arter not living in South Jersey anymore if you recall from Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Arter Chris went west to Pennsylvania to get an education.
The poor tyke came close to losing his mind. In several IM conversations I had with him I wondered how close he was to snapping completely. He was one miserable Arter. Thankfully, all of that has changed and he is back on his way to the land of the 24- hour diners. His school is distant memory and he should be arriving back in Somerdale soon.
As I leave the hallowed halls of Rowan, Chris will be showing up there with his ax ready to jam. This will reunite him with Ryan and I am sure the music department will be glad to have him. I wonder if he will get his degree before Ryan. Perhaps he can help comfort all the weeping girls that will be all over the campus in January when the reality sinks in I am not coming back.
Well Chris gave it a shot an attempt to get out of South Jersey. Everyone should at least try to get out at one point in their life just to say they made an attempt. There is a whole world out there. Apparently Chris stumbled upon one lamer than this one. I am glad he came back to the home of high car insurance rates and people who drink WOODater. If you see him before I do give him a big hug unless of course your homophobic.
###
Many people have emailed me and said…well Tucker I am enjoying your last days of college series…but what about the people who didn’t go to college? Okay no one emailed me that. As if this guy’ ego isn’t already bigger than Texas I have cut and pasted a rough draft for an assignment I had one of my first weeks at Rowan. 2 years later he makes even more money and is even more miserable.
“It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.” -----Somerset Maugham
“Dan the Man”
While most 19-yearold guys spend their free time trying to find where the next party is or a fake ID, Dan Hemphill has his nose buried in a book about Unix a complex computer operating system. However most guys don’t land a job that will earn them six figures by the time their 21 and be able to boast that they are the number one sales person in the world. Not bad considering he never received a college degree.
Roughly a year after high school after many years of self-education Hemphill may not have realized how wise behind his years he was. At 19, Hemphill enrolled at Computer Learning Center, and was seeking part time work to pay for tuition and other bills. So Hemphill went on an interview at the Micro-warehouse headquarters in Gibbsboro, New Jersey a privately owned company that and # 1 reseller of computer parts on the planet. Normally doesn’t hire people who are barely old enough to vote, but in this case they made an acceptation. When the interviewer asked Dan some difficult questions he was taken back by the fact that he seemingly knew more than anyone at the company.
Micro-warehouse was so impressed with Hemphill that they encouraged him to leave his education at CLC for a full-time job with the company. Hemphill declined because he wanted to farther his education at CLC. However it didn’t take long for Dan to realize that his knowledge was going to waste. He recalls often times sitting in the classroom and correcting errors teachers were making. During Hemphill’s years of self-education he had already mastered everything being covered in the class. He knew he wanted something more challenging. A few weeks later Hemphill returned to Micro Warehouse and was hired immediately.
Hemphill’s joined the sales team, which mainly consisted of college graduates with diverse degrees. Hemphill’s technique however was different from the typical sales people. His technical knowledge combined with his ability to communicate well with people were the right ingredients for moving up in the company. Hemphill has a knack for navigating through web sites and finding companies that are starting out and ideal customers.
“When I call up a customer, I make sure I am not reading some kind of rant, because that’s a major turn off. When I call up a potential client, or a current client I act as if I am simply calling up a buddy.”
This gives Hemphill the edge, because ordinarily when clients have a technical question about equipment or trouble shooting the sales person has to call upon a technician. Hemphill’s vast knowledge allows customers to go straight to him when a problem arises. If someone in the building has a question, they go straight to Hemphill, including the Engineers.
Watching Hemphill do sale reveals how he is up on technology. Hemphill does all his work in the computer. He never uses pen or paper to write anything down during an entire phone conversation. The only time he uses a pen is to sign his name on checks.
“ Dan is stunningly efficient to say the least when it comes to his sales approach and work ethic” says William Mcintyre who has worked in sales for 7 years and along side Hemphill for almost two.
It did not take Hemphill long to make an impression on the company. He set a company record by being promoted to senior sales in only 3 months. Hemphill’s sales achievements earned him a spot in the presidents club, and the best of the best. Naturally Hemphill’s talents have caught the attention of similar companies who have offered him other jobs including a networking opportunity in Boston, and a sales position for Silicon Valley in California.
The FINAL DAYS of COLLEGE continues with the tale of two people that are not me, by the time most of you read this I will be leaving my last class EVER.
“You Can Always Go Home Again”
Some things make me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Regan telling me she is cat. Imposter honey mustard at Starview Diner. Blue Flyers jerseys. Willam H. Macy’s face. Most recently added to the list was Christopher Brandon Arter not living in South Jersey anymore if you recall from Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Arter Chris went west to Pennsylvania to get an education.
The poor tyke came close to losing his mind. In several IM conversations I had with him I wondered how close he was to snapping completely. He was one miserable Arter. Thankfully, all of that has changed and he is back on his way to the land of the 24- hour diners. His school is distant memory and he should be arriving back in Somerdale soon.
As I leave the hallowed halls of Rowan, Chris will be showing up there with his ax ready to jam. This will reunite him with Ryan and I am sure the music department will be glad to have him. I wonder if he will get his degree before Ryan. Perhaps he can help comfort all the weeping girls that will be all over the campus in January when the reality sinks in I am not coming back.
Well Chris gave it a shot an attempt to get out of South Jersey. Everyone should at least try to get out at one point in their life just to say they made an attempt. There is a whole world out there. Apparently Chris stumbled upon one lamer than this one. I am glad he came back to the home of high car insurance rates and people who drink WOODater. If you see him before I do give him a big hug unless of course your homophobic.
###
Many people have emailed me and said…well Tucker I am enjoying your last days of college series…but what about the people who didn’t go to college? Okay no one emailed me that. As if this guy’ ego isn’t already bigger than Texas I have cut and pasted a rough draft for an assignment I had one of my first weeks at Rowan. 2 years later he makes even more money and is even more miserable.
“It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.” -----Somerset Maugham
“Dan the Man”
While most 19-yearold guys spend their free time trying to find where the next party is or a fake ID, Dan Hemphill has his nose buried in a book about Unix a complex computer operating system. However most guys don’t land a job that will earn them six figures by the time their 21 and be able to boast that they are the number one sales person in the world. Not bad considering he never received a college degree.
Roughly a year after high school after many years of self-education Hemphill may not have realized how wise behind his years he was. At 19, Hemphill enrolled at Computer Learning Center, and was seeking part time work to pay for tuition and other bills. So Hemphill went on an interview at the Micro-warehouse headquarters in Gibbsboro, New Jersey a privately owned company that and # 1 reseller of computer parts on the planet. Normally doesn’t hire people who are barely old enough to vote, but in this case they made an acceptation. When the interviewer asked Dan some difficult questions he was taken back by the fact that he seemingly knew more than anyone at the company.
Micro-warehouse was so impressed with Hemphill that they encouraged him to leave his education at CLC for a full-time job with the company. Hemphill declined because he wanted to farther his education at CLC. However it didn’t take long for Dan to realize that his knowledge was going to waste. He recalls often times sitting in the classroom and correcting errors teachers were making. During Hemphill’s years of self-education he had already mastered everything being covered in the class. He knew he wanted something more challenging. A few weeks later Hemphill returned to Micro Warehouse and was hired immediately.
Hemphill’s joined the sales team, which mainly consisted of college graduates with diverse degrees. Hemphill’s technique however was different from the typical sales people. His technical knowledge combined with his ability to communicate well with people were the right ingredients for moving up in the company. Hemphill has a knack for navigating through web sites and finding companies that are starting out and ideal customers.
“When I call up a customer, I make sure I am not reading some kind of rant, because that’s a major turn off. When I call up a potential client, or a current client I act as if I am simply calling up a buddy.”
This gives Hemphill the edge, because ordinarily when clients have a technical question about equipment or trouble shooting the sales person has to call upon a technician. Hemphill’s vast knowledge allows customers to go straight to him when a problem arises. If someone in the building has a question, they go straight to Hemphill, including the Engineers.
Watching Hemphill do sale reveals how he is up on technology. Hemphill does all his work in the computer. He never uses pen or paper to write anything down during an entire phone conversation. The only time he uses a pen is to sign his name on checks.
“ Dan is stunningly efficient to say the least when it comes to his sales approach and work ethic” says William Mcintyre who has worked in sales for 7 years and along side Hemphill for almost two.
It did not take Hemphill long to make an impression on the company. He set a company record by being promoted to senior sales in only 3 months. Hemphill’s sales achievements earned him a spot in the presidents club, and the best of the best. Naturally Hemphill’s talents have caught the attention of similar companies who have offered him other jobs including a networking opportunity in Boston, and a sales position for Silicon Valley in California.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
"Pick your future before it picks you” -----------------------Dr. Jason Seaver
Well for some reason or another I am excused from my Movies final with a B +, so that leaves one day of classes and two finals ending a week from Thursday. So continues the FINAL DAYS OF COLLEGE on Tucker's World.
“Commuters and Residents”
I transferred to Rowan when I was already 21 and past the point where I desired to share a dorm with a random dude and live the college life. Oddly enough, most the friends I made (with exception of two that I can think of) on campus were commuters.
Kinda, bizarre like we give off some sort of vibe. We gather in little clusters on campus and interact.
Commuter friends are unique in the sense that you can know people pretty well over the course of a school year, but rarely do you break the barrier of each other’s social worlds. For the most part everyone just says have a good weekend and you part ways. Sure someexchange numbers on occasion but rarely does anyone call each other.
Heck even some residents go home on the weekends since Thursday night and Friday night are the only big party nights on campus. Rowan has gotten the label suitcase college, because the campus empties out for the most part on the weekend. Granted most the North Jerseysans remain, but it is not like the campus on Dead Man on Campus. Perhaps I am not worthy enough to live in the same exicting social scene of the great Leigh Payner.
Its funny though I did over the years develop a six sense on how to spot a commuter and resident with in minutes of talking to or observing them.
Commuters:
Usually they are pretty well dressed, especially the girls.
Most of them dart out of the classroom as fast as they can so they can get the hell out of there.
None of them know where the Rat is, or what is it or how to get there. However they are aware of it’s existence.
I have a little of a week to find the Rat.
Most of them have CCC stickers on their cars.
Most of them see residents as immature, annoying or stuck up.
Most of them live at home still and haven’t lived away from home.
The hot girls all have long-term boyfriends for the most part, at least that’s what they tell Keith.er I mean Tucker.
All of them suffer from Road Rage.
They know someone who has gotten suckered into selling knives after finding a intriguing flyer on their
car.
They use the phrase “Sorry for the mess, I live out of my car”
Residents:
Usually have some sort of Drama going on when they gather in groups they make vocal for a everyone sitting in the class.
They all dress like bums, some shuffle to class in P.Js.
They all own shirts or some sort of clothing with the Rowan name on it and many of them proudly display decals on their cars. How anyone can justify paying 50 bucks or more for Rowan Sweatshirt is beyond this blogger.
They actually follow the sports teams
They cut class more often
Very few of them work, so they spend 60 percent of the day sleeping.
“Action conquers fear”---------- Peter N. Zarlenga
+++
“Parking Spot Shark”
If there is one thing students learn even if they fail all their classes they learn how to aggressively get a parking spot. You have to show no fear because there are literally hundreds of less parking spaces than there are commuters on campus at various times during the day.
Even if you allow yourself an extra 15 minutes you are likely to be zipping around the parking lot looking for a vacant space anyway. In some parking lots anxious drivers will pile up causing gridlock and stalk students as they walk to their car. Sometimes when I just need to go to my car for something I will pretend that I am leaving so they sit there like and idiot with their turn signal on. They hate that,… I like to torture them.
I almost perished several times looking for a resting spot for the tempo. Just mere weeks ago I came my penis’s length of having a head on collusion. Hot brunette chicks in bright red cars are the most deadly drivers out there. If they are smoking a cigarette or on a cell phone your chances of meeting the reaper are even better. One time I had a stand off with what appeared to be an unconvential student (liberal word for old student) . We stopped our cars face to face even though she reached the spot first. I veered the tempo into the spot and cut the bitch off. I can still see the appalled look on her face. You must show no fear.
I have seen it all from people giving up parking on yellow lines that serve no purpose, parking on grass, ignorantly blocking other cars in their spaces, and even jumping a curb to make it into the employee lot. I even saw someone back out and crunch the jeep next to it. They tore off a tail light and dented the back of the jeep. The driver nonchalantly drove away. I was too shocked to do anything about it.
The longer you go with out finding a spot….the angrier you become. You keep passing the same damn cars circling around the lots trying to beat you to the chase. Soon you start to accelerate and make pedestrians yield to you. It is all part of the game. The most frustrating scenarios are getting stuck behind a stand-off and mistaking a short car for an empty spot. This would sometimes result in my whacking the steering wheel violently.
Rowan is nice enough to charge us 20 dollars for the privilege of dangling a blue tag from our car despite the fact we don’t always have a spot waiting for us. Ryan told me how he beat the system by not registering his car and letting tickets pile up. Many have tried. All have failed to beat the system and stick it to the man. They can not be stopped. I guess that is why the call him Trouble.
Well for some reason or another I am excused from my Movies final with a B +, so that leaves one day of classes and two finals ending a week from Thursday. So continues the FINAL DAYS OF COLLEGE on Tucker's World.
“Commuters and Residents”
I transferred to Rowan when I was already 21 and past the point where I desired to share a dorm with a random dude and live the college life. Oddly enough, most the friends I made (with exception of two that I can think of) on campus were commuters.
Kinda, bizarre like we give off some sort of vibe. We gather in little clusters on campus and interact.
Commuter friends are unique in the sense that you can know people pretty well over the course of a school year, but rarely do you break the barrier of each other’s social worlds. For the most part everyone just says have a good weekend and you part ways. Sure someexchange numbers on occasion but rarely does anyone call each other.
Heck even some residents go home on the weekends since Thursday night and Friday night are the only big party nights on campus. Rowan has gotten the label suitcase college, because the campus empties out for the most part on the weekend. Granted most the North Jerseysans remain, but it is not like the campus on Dead Man on Campus. Perhaps I am not worthy enough to live in the same exicting social scene of the great Leigh Payner.
Its funny though I did over the years develop a six sense on how to spot a commuter and resident with in minutes of talking to or observing them.
Commuters:
Usually they are pretty well dressed, especially the girls.
Most of them dart out of the classroom as fast as they can so they can get the hell out of there.
None of them know where the Rat is, or what is it or how to get there. However they are aware of it’s existence.
I have a little of a week to find the Rat.
Most of them have CCC stickers on their cars.
Most of them see residents as immature, annoying or stuck up.
Most of them live at home still and haven’t lived away from home.
The hot girls all have long-term boyfriends for the most part, at least that’s what they tell Keith.er I mean Tucker.
All of them suffer from Road Rage.
They know someone who has gotten suckered into selling knives after finding a intriguing flyer on their
car.
They use the phrase “Sorry for the mess, I live out of my car”
Residents:
Usually have some sort of Drama going on when they gather in groups they make vocal for a everyone sitting in the class.
They all dress like bums, some shuffle to class in P.Js.
They all own shirts or some sort of clothing with the Rowan name on it and many of them proudly display decals on their cars. How anyone can justify paying 50 bucks or more for Rowan Sweatshirt is beyond this blogger.
They actually follow the sports teams
They cut class more often
Very few of them work, so they spend 60 percent of the day sleeping.
“Action conquers fear”---------- Peter N. Zarlenga
+++
“Parking Spot Shark”
If there is one thing students learn even if they fail all their classes they learn how to aggressively get a parking spot. You have to show no fear because there are literally hundreds of less parking spaces than there are commuters on campus at various times during the day.
Even if you allow yourself an extra 15 minutes you are likely to be zipping around the parking lot looking for a vacant space anyway. In some parking lots anxious drivers will pile up causing gridlock and stalk students as they walk to their car. Sometimes when I just need to go to my car for something I will pretend that I am leaving so they sit there like and idiot with their turn signal on. They hate that,… I like to torture them.
I almost perished several times looking for a resting spot for the tempo. Just mere weeks ago I came my penis’s length of having a head on collusion. Hot brunette chicks in bright red cars are the most deadly drivers out there. If they are smoking a cigarette or on a cell phone your chances of meeting the reaper are even better. One time I had a stand off with what appeared to be an unconvential student (liberal word for old student) . We stopped our cars face to face even though she reached the spot first. I veered the tempo into the spot and cut the bitch off. I can still see the appalled look on her face. You must show no fear.
I have seen it all from people giving up parking on yellow lines that serve no purpose, parking on grass, ignorantly blocking other cars in their spaces, and even jumping a curb to make it into the employee lot. I even saw someone back out and crunch the jeep next to it. They tore off a tail light and dented the back of the jeep. The driver nonchalantly drove away. I was too shocked to do anything about it.
The longer you go with out finding a spot….the angrier you become. You keep passing the same damn cars circling around the lots trying to beat you to the chase. Soon you start to accelerate and make pedestrians yield to you. It is all part of the game. The most frustrating scenarios are getting stuck behind a stand-off and mistaking a short car for an empty spot. This would sometimes result in my whacking the steering wheel violently.
Rowan is nice enough to charge us 20 dollars for the privilege of dangling a blue tag from our car despite the fact we don’t always have a spot waiting for us. Ryan told me how he beat the system by not registering his car and letting tickets pile up. Many have tried. All have failed to beat the system and stick it to the man. They can not be stopped. I guess that is why the call him Trouble.
Sunday, December 08, 2002
“ What Weapons? ”
The good people of Iraq have submitted a ridiculously long document claiming they don’t have any weapons of mass destruction. Of course, the document has been written mostly in Arabic so it might be awhile before we know why exactly it takes so many pages to say we don’t have weapons.
However, if you think about it what is taking place right now it is just kind of silly. I mean the people of Iraq are leading around the weapon inspectors from place to place. I am not sure what the inspectors hope to find. Do they think that there will be a pile of anthrax sitting on the floor, and the Iraqi leading them around will simply say.
“SCREW YOUR INSPECTIONS!”, grab his crouch and laugh.
So far as far as I gather they just lead them around randomly. And ask…
“Do you see anything yet?”
“Nah, everything is in tip top shape!” says the American Inspector tapping his clip board with a pen.
My point is if they have them its not likely we will find them. I mean we could easily hide weapons of mass destruction in New Jersey to some one who didn’t know every square inch. Of course, the Iraqis could just be playing musical weapons and moving what they have in advance after inspectors leave the previous site.
I keep hearing vague claims that America has their own “evidence” if that is the case, than why are we wasting time and money doing this charade? Out of obligation to the UN perhaps? I wonder if we come up empty handed if we will still find a beef with Iraq. At least provide our evidence at this point.
Why don’t we spend more time trying to find a 9/11 link to justify leveling the country. I would feel a lot better about the potential war if concrete evidence was provided. I would hope that if there was a link we would be competent to come up with it at this point. I honestly would not at all be surprised if Iraq was a silent partner in the attack on America. However, I cannot justify war on a gut instinct.
At times it seems Bush will go to war regardless of what is found in Iraq or it there is even a link. One of the Axis’ of Evil Korea mocked us by claiming they have weapons of mass destructions. Our response as America was, “EH”.
Bush seems gung-ho for an attack on Iraq. Some think that he will just call Iraq a bunch of liars after reading the report ( I am sure he will have to read the cliff’s notes version of the document). Last, I heard he was trying to blame Iraq on the early winter snow and ice storms that gripped the east coast last week.
My last week of classes EVER starts this week so it is time to kick off the Final Days of College Week. So everyone get out your Rowan colors….uh…blue and …yellow? Ah who cares.
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action”--------- Frank Tibolt
“Procrastination”
I am amazed I handed only a couple of minor assignments in late in my 4.5 years of higher education. Half-assed, sloppy and careless occasionally but for the most part I got everything in before the deadline. Studying for an exam also became something I would put off till the last minute at times making the task to memorize terms more daunting in a shorter amount of time. Lame excuse after lame excuse. Just waiting for inspiration right?
As time between the initial knowledge of the deadline or exam shrank I would come out with weaker and weaker excuses to put off doing the work. Even more so the farther I got into my education. Ah. I have all day Monday! Wait just after this really funny SNL I have seen multiple times. Uh-oh time for the Flyers game 3 hours right there! I knew it was bad when I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on Jim J. Bullock.
In my Rowan years I had the chance to work with lots of other students in various other groups. It was hear that I learned that other students were worse. Many a time it was a joint procrastination (that sounded dirty) when my meeting would mostly involve deciding what food to get and where for the meeting. Sometimes only half of use would show up and just do nothing.
As much as I hated schoolwork at least it gave me something to do and taught me discipline. I actually did gain knowledge through some of it. Of course classes like Statics has since been lost and is basically useless in real life anyway. What am I going to do to with my extra time come the end of the month? Maybe I still start running. Yeah if I start running tomorrow I could be in really good shape by the summer. I could show off those huge calves on the beach. Wait..on second thought….its going to be cold tomorrow and I am busy. I will do it Tuesday.
The good people of Iraq have submitted a ridiculously long document claiming they don’t have any weapons of mass destruction. Of course, the document has been written mostly in Arabic so it might be awhile before we know why exactly it takes so many pages to say we don’t have weapons.
However, if you think about it what is taking place right now it is just kind of silly. I mean the people of Iraq are leading around the weapon inspectors from place to place. I am not sure what the inspectors hope to find. Do they think that there will be a pile of anthrax sitting on the floor, and the Iraqi leading them around will simply say.
“SCREW YOUR INSPECTIONS!”, grab his crouch and laugh.
So far as far as I gather they just lead them around randomly. And ask…
“Do you see anything yet?”
“Nah, everything is in tip top shape!” says the American Inspector tapping his clip board with a pen.
My point is if they have them its not likely we will find them. I mean we could easily hide weapons of mass destruction in New Jersey to some one who didn’t know every square inch. Of course, the Iraqis could just be playing musical weapons and moving what they have in advance after inspectors leave the previous site.
I keep hearing vague claims that America has their own “evidence” if that is the case, than why are we wasting time and money doing this charade? Out of obligation to the UN perhaps? I wonder if we come up empty handed if we will still find a beef with Iraq. At least provide our evidence at this point.
Why don’t we spend more time trying to find a 9/11 link to justify leveling the country. I would feel a lot better about the potential war if concrete evidence was provided. I would hope that if there was a link we would be competent to come up with it at this point. I honestly would not at all be surprised if Iraq was a silent partner in the attack on America. However, I cannot justify war on a gut instinct.
At times it seems Bush will go to war regardless of what is found in Iraq or it there is even a link. One of the Axis’ of Evil Korea mocked us by claiming they have weapons of mass destructions. Our response as America was, “EH”.
Bush seems gung-ho for an attack on Iraq. Some think that he will just call Iraq a bunch of liars after reading the report ( I am sure he will have to read the cliff’s notes version of the document). Last, I heard he was trying to blame Iraq on the early winter snow and ice storms that gripped the east coast last week.
My last week of classes EVER starts this week so it is time to kick off the Final Days of College Week. So everyone get out your Rowan colors….uh…blue and …yellow? Ah who cares.
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action”--------- Frank Tibolt
“Procrastination”
I am amazed I handed only a couple of minor assignments in late in my 4.5 years of higher education. Half-assed, sloppy and careless occasionally but for the most part I got everything in before the deadline. Studying for an exam also became something I would put off till the last minute at times making the task to memorize terms more daunting in a shorter amount of time. Lame excuse after lame excuse. Just waiting for inspiration right?
As time between the initial knowledge of the deadline or exam shrank I would come out with weaker and weaker excuses to put off doing the work. Even more so the farther I got into my education. Ah. I have all day Monday! Wait just after this really funny SNL I have seen multiple times. Uh-oh time for the Flyers game 3 hours right there! I knew it was bad when I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on Jim J. Bullock.
In my Rowan years I had the chance to work with lots of other students in various other groups. It was hear that I learned that other students were worse. Many a time it was a joint procrastination (that sounded dirty) when my meeting would mostly involve deciding what food to get and where for the meeting. Sometimes only half of use would show up and just do nothing.
As much as I hated schoolwork at least it gave me something to do and taught me discipline. I actually did gain knowledge through some of it. Of course classes like Statics has since been lost and is basically useless in real life anyway. What am I going to do to with my extra time come the end of the month? Maybe I still start running. Yeah if I start running tomorrow I could be in really good shape by the summer. I could show off those huge calves on the beach. Wait..on second thought….its going to be cold tomorrow and I am busy. I will do it Tuesday.
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
“Snowbound!”
::red light flashes wildly::
SIREN BLASTS LOUDLY
I am warning all of my readers now that the time to panic has arrived. Old Man Winter’s wrath is upon us. If you are reading this and you have not taken measures to make it through the chaotic storm that is going to slam the Delaware Valley do so now. Here is a checklist for my dear readers who I value very much.
§ Make sure you get half a dozen gallons of milk. Any less could result in death to you or someone you care about in your immediate family.
§ Make sure you get long underwear.
§ Make sure you get a bulletproof vest if you plan on shoveling your snow into a neighbors yard.
§ Make sure you get 7 loafs of bread, now since many people will be going for the same items it might result in an altercation. By all means use violence to obtain this. If you need to smack the other person with a jug milk till he falls to the ground. Than kick the person in the ribs. YOU NEED BREAD TO LIVE. Families without bread will likely die in the next 24 hours.
§ Go to Wal-Mart and get a shot gun. The looting should begin by 6 or so when people who were to nonchalant to get bread and milk will become blood thirsty. You need to protect your house. If you can’t get a gun, set up whacky obstacles like in Home Alone. If this doesn’t work throw bread at them. If you plan to loot I recommend Dan K.'s place he just got a new widescreen TV http://www.mitsubishi-tv.com/WS55711.html
§ Purchase an abundance amount of rock salt. Enough to cover your entire lawn 3 times over. Purchase snow shovels by the dozens. Make sure you dispose of them when the spring arrives so you can wait in a long line before the next snowstorm.
§ Ignore any responsibilities such as studying or homework do tomorrow. Arrogantly think that class will be canceled or if you have to work tomorrow get yourself psyched for a day off. If you are brave, enough to actually make it to work use it as an excuse to do nothing and take money from your employer for it. If anyone asks you to do something, tell him or her lucky you showed up at all.
§ Make sure your pointless but stylish head light covers are removed. (maybe 2 people got that one)
In addition, Tucker’s World will offer 5 dollars to anyone who hits Lima Beanz with a snowball and captures it on video or snaps a picture of it. The shot has to be either in the face or the testicles. The award will possibly be upped to 10 if he bleeds.
::red light flashes wildly::
SIREN BLASTS LOUDLY
I am warning all of my readers now that the time to panic has arrived. Old Man Winter’s wrath is upon us. If you are reading this and you have not taken measures to make it through the chaotic storm that is going to slam the Delaware Valley do so now. Here is a checklist for my dear readers who I value very much.
§ Make sure you get half a dozen gallons of milk. Any less could result in death to you or someone you care about in your immediate family.
§ Make sure you get long underwear.
§ Make sure you get a bulletproof vest if you plan on shoveling your snow into a neighbors yard.
§ Make sure you get 7 loafs of bread, now since many people will be going for the same items it might result in an altercation. By all means use violence to obtain this. If you need to smack the other person with a jug milk till he falls to the ground. Than kick the person in the ribs. YOU NEED BREAD TO LIVE. Families without bread will likely die in the next 24 hours.
§ Go to Wal-Mart and get a shot gun. The looting should begin by 6 or so when people who were to nonchalant to get bread and milk will become blood thirsty. You need to protect your house. If you can’t get a gun, set up whacky obstacles like in Home Alone. If this doesn’t work throw bread at them. If you plan to loot I recommend Dan K.'s place he just got a new widescreen TV http://www.mitsubishi-tv.com/WS55711.html
§ Purchase an abundance amount of rock salt. Enough to cover your entire lawn 3 times over. Purchase snow shovels by the dozens. Make sure you dispose of them when the spring arrives so you can wait in a long line before the next snowstorm.
§ Ignore any responsibilities such as studying or homework do tomorrow. Arrogantly think that class will be canceled or if you have to work tomorrow get yourself psyched for a day off. If you are brave, enough to actually make it to work use it as an excuse to do nothing and take money from your employer for it. If anyone asks you to do something, tell him or her lucky you showed up at all.
§ Make sure your pointless but stylish head light covers are removed. (maybe 2 people got that one)
In addition, Tucker’s World will offer 5 dollars to anyone who hits Lima Beanz with a snowball and captures it on video or snaps a picture of it. The shot has to be either in the face or the testicles. The award will possibly be upped to 10 if he bleeds.
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
Man….end of Semester crunch has had Tucker’s World on Hiatus for awhile! I hope everyone had a good Turkey Day.
“Pick a Card Any Card”
Sometimes, you just have to put your sheep outfit on and conform to the norm. Toe the line…follow the masses. One such obligation in my family has always been the over use of greeting cards. My mother even sends out Thanksgiving Day cards. Who does that? The most painful process I had to do as a child was to write thank you cards for birthday cards I got. This would be despite calling them occasionally to thank them and personally thanking them if they gave it to me in person. Id imagine if I got a Thank You for the Thank You card. I might still be showing my appreciation. for my 13th birthday. The only holiday I got off easy was Valentine’s Day because I never have to thank anyone.
I guess in the case of my great aunt it’s a nice jester because she likes to give cards out and get them. But for the most part its over done. Do we really need cards for every possible occasion? Most the time they are way to sappy for me …so I go with the stupid ones. Cards are good money holder I guess, but most kids don’t read them they just grab the 20 dollar bill and chuck the card. Id think it would be cooler if someone just told me a joke, than gave me the 20 dollar bill. Perhaps give me a cookie instead or something.
So, the other day I walked the isles of the local Rite Aid store (no sign of that really cute girl or an intruder) seeking a card for my nephew who was turning 2. I thought to myself how much I hate this process. How in the Spring time, my fathers b-day, my mothers b-day, their anniversary, mothers day and fathers day all hit me within a few months of each other. One time I had to go to 3 different places for a card that suited my personality and the occasion. But in the case of my nephew…he is 2! He can’t read. I mean I got him a cool toy. But who am I getting a piece of paper for ? Does my brother get a kick out of a cartoon giraffe wishing his son a happy birthday? He might pretend to ..but I doubt deep down inside he cares. I showed up at the party and gave my nephew a present. But why should I be obligated to get him a card he couldn’t read? It might as well be in German….or said Happy B-day Grandpa on it.
My brothers anniversary is coming up. I am happy for him, but that occasion has nothing to do with me. Why did my mother suggest sending a card? Can I just say happy anniversary or something on the phone? I don’t celebrate this event. I don’t even know the exact day. It would be like Drew or Price sending me a Christmas card. I knew they would not be sincere for them to want to wish me joy on holiday that means nothing to them. So I won’t be checking my mailbox anytime soon. If I do get one…I m likely to suffer from CARDiac arrest ….sorry in advance for that one.
“Pick a Card Any Card”
Sometimes, you just have to put your sheep outfit on and conform to the norm. Toe the line…follow the masses. One such obligation in my family has always been the over use of greeting cards. My mother even sends out Thanksgiving Day cards. Who does that? The most painful process I had to do as a child was to write thank you cards for birthday cards I got. This would be despite calling them occasionally to thank them and personally thanking them if they gave it to me in person. Id imagine if I got a Thank You for the Thank You card. I might still be showing my appreciation. for my 13th birthday. The only holiday I got off easy was Valentine’s Day because I never have to thank anyone.
I guess in the case of my great aunt it’s a nice jester because she likes to give cards out and get them. But for the most part its over done. Do we really need cards for every possible occasion? Most the time they are way to sappy for me …so I go with the stupid ones. Cards are good money holder I guess, but most kids don’t read them they just grab the 20 dollar bill and chuck the card. Id think it would be cooler if someone just told me a joke, than gave me the 20 dollar bill. Perhaps give me a cookie instead or something.
So, the other day I walked the isles of the local Rite Aid store (no sign of that really cute girl or an intruder) seeking a card for my nephew who was turning 2. I thought to myself how much I hate this process. How in the Spring time, my fathers b-day, my mothers b-day, their anniversary, mothers day and fathers day all hit me within a few months of each other. One time I had to go to 3 different places for a card that suited my personality and the occasion. But in the case of my nephew…he is 2! He can’t read. I mean I got him a cool toy. But who am I getting a piece of paper for ? Does my brother get a kick out of a cartoon giraffe wishing his son a happy birthday? He might pretend to ..but I doubt deep down inside he cares. I showed up at the party and gave my nephew a present. But why should I be obligated to get him a card he couldn’t read? It might as well be in German….or said Happy B-day Grandpa on it.
My brothers anniversary is coming up. I am happy for him, but that occasion has nothing to do with me. Why did my mother suggest sending a card? Can I just say happy anniversary or something on the phone? I don’t celebrate this event. I don’t even know the exact day. It would be like Drew or Price sending me a Christmas card. I knew they would not be sincere for them to want to wish me joy on holiday that means nothing to them. So I won’t be checking my mailbox anytime soon. If I do get one…I m likely to suffer from CARDiac arrest ….sorry in advance for that one.
Thursday, November 28, 2002
"Thankful"
I am Thankful for the following things:
Girls who wear tight pants have them unbuttoned at the top and roll them down.
Jay who is my bestest best friend in the whole wide world
Eggnog (straight)
Discounted Wings Night at Bars
My Imaginary Girlfriend (she really loves me)
That fact that SHreik is on HBO right now.
Starview and even though I have not been there a lot lately.
I know it will always be my home away from home.
The Muppets have a new movie on Friday night.
That Price was discharged from the Marines so he can hang out every weekend.
I am thankful for my readers..both of them.
Don't eat too much. Behave and EAT TURKEY THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND BE EATEN
I am Thankful for the following things:
Girls who wear tight pants have them unbuttoned at the top and roll them down.
Jay who is my bestest best friend in the whole wide world
Eggnog (straight)
Discounted Wings Night at Bars
My Imaginary Girlfriend (she really loves me)
That fact that SHreik is on HBO right now.
Starview and even though I have not been there a lot lately.
I know it will always be my home away from home.
The Muppets have a new movie on Friday night.
That Price was discharged from the Marines so he can hang out every weekend.
I am thankful for my readers..both of them.
Don't eat too much. Behave and EAT TURKEY THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND BE EATEN
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
“ Global Lovin’ ”
::Club music playing…its getting’ hot in here lets take off all our clothes!::
Ever wonder if your sex life is in the doldrums? If reading Tucker’s World is the highlight of your day than perhaps, that is true.
Well some England Condom company wants us to feel even more pathetic (or at least me) because they did a survey of how often people get their freak on. If you are a Briton (thats what the call people from England) and only get laid less than 149 times a year than you are below average in the ass getting department. But they are not the best lovers out there! Keep in mind these are averages.
These wild sex freaks are only outdone by couples in France (167) [damn!], the Netherlands (158), Denmark (152) and Canada (150). I was surprised to see that the Canadians got it on so much. I wonder if Avril took the survey or not. It was conducted online which means...something.
Where did Americans come come in at? A mere 130 times a year. I think that is a disgrace and perhaps a slanted survey. Plus I think I am partly to blame for bringing down the average. Lets as Americans go out there and DO IT MORE…my readers I want you to go out there and screw, screw, screw. We need to bring that average up! America pride…tell that girl..or guy…tonight on the biggest bar night of the year that your DOING IT for America!
Id ask for surveys to see how often my readers get lucky, but that would result in Tucker’s butt being kicked, and perhaps a high suicide rate for my sexually frustrated readers. Well I have to go now and finnish pealing a label off my beer.
p.s.
for a sneak peak at the Flyers new 3rd Jersey which will be used for Black Friday go here
http://board.spawn.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=028021
thanks to Rick for the heads up.
::Club music playing…its getting’ hot in here lets take off all our clothes!::
Ever wonder if your sex life is in the doldrums? If reading Tucker’s World is the highlight of your day than perhaps, that is true.
Well some England Condom company wants us to feel even more pathetic (or at least me) because they did a survey of how often people get their freak on. If you are a Briton (thats what the call people from England) and only get laid less than 149 times a year than you are below average in the ass getting department. But they are not the best lovers out there! Keep in mind these are averages.
These wild sex freaks are only outdone by couples in France (167) [damn!], the Netherlands (158), Denmark (152) and Canada (150). I was surprised to see that the Canadians got it on so much. I wonder if Avril took the survey or not. It was conducted online which means...something.
Where did Americans come come in at? A mere 130 times a year. I think that is a disgrace and perhaps a slanted survey. Plus I think I am partly to blame for bringing down the average. Lets as Americans go out there and DO IT MORE…my readers I want you to go out there and screw, screw, screw. We need to bring that average up! America pride…tell that girl..or guy…tonight on the biggest bar night of the year that your DOING IT for America!
Id ask for surveys to see how often my readers get lucky, but that would result in Tucker’s butt being kicked, and perhaps a high suicide rate for my sexually frustrated readers. Well I have to go now and finnish pealing a label off my beer.
p.s.
for a sneak peak at the Flyers new 3rd Jersey which will be used for Black Friday go here
http://board.spawn.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=028021
thanks to Rick for the heads up.
Monday, November 25, 2002
No emotion...no composure…we are heading south”----------- Flyers Center Jeremy Roenick
“The Orange and Pink”
Perhaps that title might be a bit harsh or a knee jerk reaction to the 6-0 debacle the Flyers suffered during Hockey Night in Canada last Saturday night. Seeing as where the Flyers have one of the best records (points wise) in league. Also the lost ended a 5 game unbeaten streak. But it was a modest one seeing as where 4 of the games were kiss your sister ties. Although in Lima Beanz’s case that is not too shabby of a deal.
There are signs of trouble and potential for the team to come apart at the seems…yet again. For one a good deal of the ties, the Flyers failed to put the puck in the net as they did with the greatest of ease at the start of the season. They are lucky to get 2 goals. Simon Gagne has two goals and many players are hitting dry spells already. In addition, the games have been uninspired, and they lack any kind of drive. This results in hockey games about as entertaining as this weeks Sopranos.
“This was the product of bad things etching their way into our game every night, and it bit us in the fanny…Every aspect of our game was not there…Its been creeping up. We didn’t do anything well”
the Flyers leading scorer John Leclair remarked after Saturday nights game.
What bad things you ask? Well for starters they let up two power play goals and their penalty killing has been on a downward spiral. They are 3 for their last 61 for their power play……yes that’s right…3 for their last 61. The last guy that won the Power Play payoff just moved into Dan K’s apartment complex and he retired. Oh yeah and the biggest disgrace of all is that the leafs were stilling hitting with 2 minutes left in a 6-0 tilt, and the Flyers didn’t bother to throw any hits let alone fists. They could have at least acted like they cared. The fans were more embarrassed than the players. Its time to inject this team with some drive before the apathy virus kills another season.
The same thing happened this time last year, and the Flyers picked up Donald Brasher who jump started them for a little bit. Than the team derailed again, but this time supposedly the players will be shipped out of here. If the continues to sputter look for a minor move before the holiday trade freeze, or if they really go south a blockbuster trade in January. Brendle(sucks), McCgillis(coach hates), and Recchi I could see being ousted. No more excuses. No more…the goalie is just hot…the coach sucks…Lindros made us to do it…we are not the ones with cancer…blame the guy who’s wife just died…the team has to get the special teams going again and play with an ounce of heart and perhaps they can stay on top of their division. Weds. they get a chance to stay king of the hill again the penguins who are a close 2nd.
“We are not playing with a passion” Mark Recchi…..
No Shit Sherlock and when you here booooo this season you know its not to support Brian Boucher.
____________________________________________________________
“Here a Trap There a Trap, Everywhere a Trap, Trap"
Sigh… I fell for it ..that the league would actually crack down on the clutching and grabbing this season. I thought Garry Bettman was serious about policing the refs. However, like every other season the trap, the clutching and grabbing the ruined the game in the 90’s is sneaking right back in.
Little by little teams are getting away more with holding up their opponents in the neurtal zone. The game is slowing down again. Just sit back and look for it. It has not reached the point it was when Super Mario left the game….or gotten to the point it did last season. However its increased Id say 40 percent since the puck dropped on the season in October. Many players are grumbling about it. However if you go over board like penguins forward Marc Bergevin (former Whaler) did…the league will shut your mouth.
“It’s a farce…15 games it lasted….its embarrassing…the same way the NHL has been the last two years…This league’s a joke. I honestly thought it was going to change…unbelievable. Bettman yapping his mouth off…that brings fans back?” said the disgruntled Penguin.
So the NHL fined him. I guess I can understand cause he disrespected the commish, but he had a valid point. I guess he could have done it behind closed doors. However getting it in the papers makes the league look bad, so I think it was worth the fine. Than again its only Bergevin…id like to see Mario or some one with some power public grip…and Mario has before. One of the main reasons of the crack down was to keep Mario skating.
Okay so we had more players going to the penalty box than hours Ryan spends with Regan in a given day, but the players would eventually learn their lessons and not clutch and grab. But if the whistle doesn’t blow,..they would be stupid not to try to get away with it. Simple as that. Worse case we have lots of power plays which would result in more goals.
“The Orange and Pink”
Perhaps that title might be a bit harsh or a knee jerk reaction to the 6-0 debacle the Flyers suffered during Hockey Night in Canada last Saturday night. Seeing as where the Flyers have one of the best records (points wise) in league. Also the lost ended a 5 game unbeaten streak. But it was a modest one seeing as where 4 of the games were kiss your sister ties. Although in Lima Beanz’s case that is not too shabby of a deal.
There are signs of trouble and potential for the team to come apart at the seems…yet again. For one a good deal of the ties, the Flyers failed to put the puck in the net as they did with the greatest of ease at the start of the season. They are lucky to get 2 goals. Simon Gagne has two goals and many players are hitting dry spells already. In addition, the games have been uninspired, and they lack any kind of drive. This results in hockey games about as entertaining as this weeks Sopranos.
“This was the product of bad things etching their way into our game every night, and it bit us in the fanny…Every aspect of our game was not there…Its been creeping up. We didn’t do anything well”
the Flyers leading scorer John Leclair remarked after Saturday nights game.
What bad things you ask? Well for starters they let up two power play goals and their penalty killing has been on a downward spiral. They are 3 for their last 61 for their power play……yes that’s right…3 for their last 61. The last guy that won the Power Play payoff just moved into Dan K’s apartment complex and he retired. Oh yeah and the biggest disgrace of all is that the leafs were stilling hitting with 2 minutes left in a 6-0 tilt, and the Flyers didn’t bother to throw any hits let alone fists. They could have at least acted like they cared. The fans were more embarrassed than the players. Its time to inject this team with some drive before the apathy virus kills another season.
The same thing happened this time last year, and the Flyers picked up Donald Brasher who jump started them for a little bit. Than the team derailed again, but this time supposedly the players will be shipped out of here. If the continues to sputter look for a minor move before the holiday trade freeze, or if they really go south a blockbuster trade in January. Brendle(sucks), McCgillis(coach hates), and Recchi I could see being ousted. No more excuses. No more…the goalie is just hot…the coach sucks…Lindros made us to do it…we are not the ones with cancer…blame the guy who’s wife just died…the team has to get the special teams going again and play with an ounce of heart and perhaps they can stay on top of their division. Weds. they get a chance to stay king of the hill again the penguins who are a close 2nd.
“We are not playing with a passion” Mark Recchi…..
No Shit Sherlock and when you here booooo this season you know its not to support Brian Boucher.
____________________________________________________________
“Here a Trap There a Trap, Everywhere a Trap, Trap"
Sigh… I fell for it ..that the league would actually crack down on the clutching and grabbing this season. I thought Garry Bettman was serious about policing the refs. However, like every other season the trap, the clutching and grabbing the ruined the game in the 90’s is sneaking right back in.
Little by little teams are getting away more with holding up their opponents in the neurtal zone. The game is slowing down again. Just sit back and look for it. It has not reached the point it was when Super Mario left the game….or gotten to the point it did last season. However its increased Id say 40 percent since the puck dropped on the season in October. Many players are grumbling about it. However if you go over board like penguins forward Marc Bergevin (former Whaler) did…the league will shut your mouth.
“It’s a farce…15 games it lasted….its embarrassing…the same way the NHL has been the last two years…This league’s a joke. I honestly thought it was going to change…unbelievable. Bettman yapping his mouth off…that brings fans back?” said the disgruntled Penguin.
So the NHL fined him. I guess I can understand cause he disrespected the commish, but he had a valid point. I guess he could have done it behind closed doors. However getting it in the papers makes the league look bad, so I think it was worth the fine. Than again its only Bergevin…id like to see Mario or some one with some power public grip…and Mario has before. One of the main reasons of the crack down was to keep Mario skating.
Okay so we had more players going to the penalty box than hours Ryan spends with Regan in a given day, but the players would eventually learn their lessons and not clutch and grab. But if the whistle doesn’t blow,..they would be stupid not to try to get away with it. Simple as that. Worse case we have lots of power plays which would result in more goals.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
"Falling Down"
If anyone stayed over night at the RiteAid in Stratford last night they might have thought Jolly Old Saint Nick was a tad early. They would have been sadly mistaken.
The noise on the roof would have been that of a potential robber. Over night (tues. night I think) a man used storage crates and a ladder to scale the drive-through wall and roof. Armed with hand drill, drill bits, a ski hat, and gloves he certainly intended to dodge security cameras and alarms. Pretty clever is he intended to break in through the roof.
Perhaps he trying to get some stocking stuffers for his loved ones. Or wanted get some pills to sell to high school kids. The prefect crime you would think in and out. Well thought out. Maybe so, but he slipped and fell off the roof plummeting to his grisly death.
Police said that an employ found his corpse laying in a puddle of blood motionless on the ground. The robber cracked his head open and died instantly. They think he fell down the steal covered roof. For those of you with a dark curiousity it is right near the one hour photo sign. No one (at least at last nights Couriers' deadline) know who he is, but he is thought to be about 45 yearsold.
Girls and Diners
I never watched the Bachelor before, but from what I hear the girl that was chosen last night is from Gloucester City. This is a big mistake considering he had the option of her and a southern girl. He could have had a southern girl wait on him hand and foot, but instead he chose a girl from South Jersey.
Apparently he did not read the 2000 Census. They stated that 4 out every 5 South Jersey girl is a bitch. 3 out of ever 5 are crazy. Amazing all those hot girls and he picks a South Jersey girl. He gets what he deserves. The only girl I knew from South Jersey didn't shave her arm pits.
Meanwhile the people who own Starview Diner have purchased the former Denny’s on the White Horse Pike. Deny’s suffered when Starview opened and people had a 24-hour place to go to. Plus some consider it offensive if you live in South Jersey and choice the diner like chain over a local establishment. The people that own Starview already own the Pub in Pennsauken, Palace Diner, and Starview II.
It is not really going to be a diner, but some sort of restaurant. I am not sure if the honey mustard will be the same there or not. Perhaps it will be the Starview for the older crowd. I have my fingers crossed that when it opens they send a happy go lucky Greek man there to drum up business. But I can’t confirm that right now. The fact that I even know any of this is evidence I have no life.
If anyone stayed over night at the RiteAid in Stratford last night they might have thought Jolly Old Saint Nick was a tad early. They would have been sadly mistaken.
The noise on the roof would have been that of a potential robber. Over night (tues. night I think) a man used storage crates and a ladder to scale the drive-through wall and roof. Armed with hand drill, drill bits, a ski hat, and gloves he certainly intended to dodge security cameras and alarms. Pretty clever is he intended to break in through the roof.
Perhaps he trying to get some stocking stuffers for his loved ones. Or wanted get some pills to sell to high school kids. The prefect crime you would think in and out. Well thought out. Maybe so, but he slipped and fell off the roof plummeting to his grisly death.
Police said that an employ found his corpse laying in a puddle of blood motionless on the ground. The robber cracked his head open and died instantly. They think he fell down the steal covered roof. For those of you with a dark curiousity it is right near the one hour photo sign. No one (at least at last nights Couriers' deadline) know who he is, but he is thought to be about 45 yearsold.
Girls and Diners
I never watched the Bachelor before, but from what I hear the girl that was chosen last night is from Gloucester City. This is a big mistake considering he had the option of her and a southern girl. He could have had a southern girl wait on him hand and foot, but instead he chose a girl from South Jersey.
Apparently he did not read the 2000 Census. They stated that 4 out every 5 South Jersey girl is a bitch. 3 out of ever 5 are crazy. Amazing all those hot girls and he picks a South Jersey girl. He gets what he deserves. The only girl I knew from South Jersey didn't shave her arm pits.
Meanwhile the people who own Starview Diner have purchased the former Denny’s on the White Horse Pike. Deny’s suffered when Starview opened and people had a 24-hour place to go to. Plus some consider it offensive if you live in South Jersey and choice the diner like chain over a local establishment. The people that own Starview already own the Pub in Pennsauken, Palace Diner, and Starview II.
It is not really going to be a diner, but some sort of restaurant. I am not sure if the honey mustard will be the same there or not. Perhaps it will be the Starview for the older crowd. I have my fingers crossed that when it opens they send a happy go lucky Greek man there to drum up business. But I can’t confirm that right now. The fact that I even know any of this is evidence I have no life.
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
"The Memo"
The FOX News Channel has gotten themselves into a little bit of a pickle. In a recent book about Bush (w) it was revealed that Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News Channel wrote Bush a memo a few days after 9/11. The memo offered some advice on what to do and how the American public would think about certain actions. Maybe he should have known better. This story has gotten liberals shaking their fists like Micheal Jackson shaking his infant child over a balcony for no reason.
Big deal everyone knows FOX NEWS is slanted for Conservatives. Just like CNN was Clintons Outlet. The people at FOX heard the outcry for an alternate take and made lots of money on it. The only difference is during Clinton's peak years people had no other options. But was it really that big a deal? From what I understand it was right after 9/11 when everyone was emotional.
Ironically and not surprisingly it was published in the New York Times. The most extremist paper ever. Talk about being one-sided. Although they don't say they are fair and balanced they like to pretend they are. They always play politics. Don’t get me wrong I think papers should bring stuff like this to the public eye for them to judge. Pretty much everyone that writes for the times are about as far left as Drew. If not farther. Such extreme radicals. Some times down right scary how socialist they come across.
Anyway Newspapers like cable news networks always have their voice. IF you don’t believe me pick up a courier-post, Phila Inquirer and a Daily News (some what fair-and balanced) in your travels today. The Inquirer will always back democrats. I’m sure they would have endorsed the TORCH. But I still like the paper. No one cares when Peter Jennings puts his two cents in constantly One the nightly news.
Did Ted Turner ever give Clinton money? Would not be surprised. Come on if Ted Turner’s CNN didn’t smother conservatives voices for many years Fox News never would have been born. Of course liberals are thinking that maybe it is fishy cause the white house might seek favors like putting people on programs. What about ABC having a former Clinton worker with no journalistic background having his own show? Could the New York Times have waited this in order to try to help CNN in the sweeps ratings? It’s a long shot, but who knows. The bottom line is he is a Roger Alies is an American Citizen and can do what ever the hell he wants.
p.s.
I hope the pickle metaphor did not offend any pickle haters
The FOX News Channel has gotten themselves into a little bit of a pickle. In a recent book about Bush (w) it was revealed that Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News Channel wrote Bush a memo a few days after 9/11. The memo offered some advice on what to do and how the American public would think about certain actions. Maybe he should have known better. This story has gotten liberals shaking their fists like Micheal Jackson shaking his infant child over a balcony for no reason.
Big deal everyone knows FOX NEWS is slanted for Conservatives. Just like CNN was Clintons Outlet. The people at FOX heard the outcry for an alternate take and made lots of money on it. The only difference is during Clinton's peak years people had no other options. But was it really that big a deal? From what I understand it was right after 9/11 when everyone was emotional.
Ironically and not surprisingly it was published in the New York Times. The most extremist paper ever. Talk about being one-sided. Although they don't say they are fair and balanced they like to pretend they are. They always play politics. Don’t get me wrong I think papers should bring stuff like this to the public eye for them to judge. Pretty much everyone that writes for the times are about as far left as Drew. If not farther. Such extreme radicals. Some times down right scary how socialist they come across.
Anyway Newspapers like cable news networks always have their voice. IF you don’t believe me pick up a courier-post, Phila Inquirer and a Daily News (some what fair-and balanced) in your travels today. The Inquirer will always back democrats. I’m sure they would have endorsed the TORCH. But I still like the paper. No one cares when Peter Jennings puts his two cents in constantly One the nightly news.
Did Ted Turner ever give Clinton money? Would not be surprised. Come on if Ted Turner’s CNN didn’t smother conservatives voices for many years Fox News never would have been born. Of course liberals are thinking that maybe it is fishy cause the white house might seek favors like putting people on programs. What about ABC having a former Clinton worker with no journalistic background having his own show? Could the New York Times have waited this in order to try to help CNN in the sweeps ratings? It’s a long shot, but who knows. The bottom line is he is a Roger Alies is an American Citizen and can do what ever the hell he wants.
p.s.
I hope the pickle metaphor did not offend any pickle haters
Monday, November 18, 2002
“What Did Tucker Do?”
It is Monday so that means its time to play what did Tucker do? (what!?!). Okay first off I would like to clear up that I AM Tucker, it is my nonsense alias. In order to appreciate the game flash back to a school district not to far away.
In the early 90s, thinks were looking good. I recall pretending I liked Crystal Pepsi and Nirvana. I also had crush on a girl in grade school for two years at least. Since I was shy back than I never made am move on girls who liked me. Even if they were really obvious about liking me. I didn’t get the nerve to make a move till after my window closed with many cute girls at school. Anyway, I only talked to her moderately in high school. But I wondered about her sometimes in the last few years. So I bump into her at BAMBOO BERNIE’S recently. She looked pretty darn good. Now its time to play the game!
After we talked for 5 minutes or so, her friend came to her and asked her want she wanted to drink at the bar. So she said went got a beer. So for my readers..try to guess how Tucker handled this. Here are some possible things that happened.
A.
Keith…er…um ..Tucker is quick on his feet. He walks up with her to the bar, and says I got it. She is happy to get a beer for free, and he buys himself some more time holding a conversation. It goes well after both parties have another beer. Eventually he figures she wants to mingle, and rejoins his friend. He is wise enough to get her number. They have plans to get together in the middle of the week.
B.
Tucker can’t think of anything good to say past the typical small talk. So he starts telling her about gay sheep. He tells her how gay sheep have different brains than their heterosexual counter parts. She seems pretty uncomfortable, and it becomes more awkward when he grabs a cocktail napkin and tries to diagram the gay brain. Finally, he tries to get her to say Osama Where Have You Been Hiding really fast. It is supposed to sound like something. It doesn’t, and the whole thing doesn’t make any sense, and is not funny. She walks away thinking he was a bigger loser than she had thought.
C.
Small talk takes place, but when she goes to the bar he just lets her go. Later that night he talks about getting her number, but never follows through. Later that night he ponders making a doctor appointment to find out if he has any testicles or not. Oh yeah, and when he goes to take a leak some random guy takes his penis out before he gets close to the urinal for no good reason. Than he proceeds to engage in a conversation with Tucker.
D.
Tucker realizes quite possibly too late that her enormous boyfriend does not appreciate the small talk his girlfriend. The man hooks Tucker with a left. Tucker remains on his feet for mere seconds in a feeble attempt to strike back. His efforts are thwarted when the guy knees Tucker in the balls. This it toped off with a bottle being broken over his head. Tucker lays in a puddle of his own blood and beer….twitching like a half dead bug. They only good thing to come out of it, is he might not be able to have kids.
E.
Fellow blogger Drew steps up to Tucker while he is chatting away. “Step aside PUMA is in the house!” he says James Bond like fashion. Tucker just stands and watches her melt wile under the spell of PUMA. Tucker decides to cut his loses and hits on a fat chick. She is one of those fat chicks who still wears clubbin’ clothes for some reason. Tucker just gets really drunk and gets her number only programming 6 out of 7 numbers into his cell phone.
F.
Everything goes well. They share a passionate kiss in the dance floor. Everyone in the crowded bar disappears to these two love birds……okay……….I can’t even continue this one…its obviously fabricated.
email me which one you think is fact
mst3keith@aol.com
or write it down on a piece of paper than throw it away
“Welcome to Comcast Country III: The Merger”
If you are lost about this topic go the archives to read the two prequels.
Comcast and AT&T have joined forces making Comcast the biggest cable company in the entire country. More crappy service, retarded techs, fussy Comcast sports net, and lots more evil.
You can’t stop them. Comcast will own the country one day. They can’t be stopped. Just try. You children will belong to Comcast.
Seriously though, the fuzzy vision is still there, and even at bars. I am not sure if people just are too lazy to complain or Comcast is still just evil. I guess I will have to watch the Flyers through my VCR for the rest of my life. Maybe one day I will write to a local paper or something.
It is Monday so that means its time to play what did Tucker do? (what!?!). Okay first off I would like to clear up that I AM Tucker, it is my nonsense alias. In order to appreciate the game flash back to a school district not to far away.
In the early 90s, thinks were looking good. I recall pretending I liked Crystal Pepsi and Nirvana. I also had crush on a girl in grade school for two years at least. Since I was shy back than I never made am move on girls who liked me. Even if they were really obvious about liking me. I didn’t get the nerve to make a move till after my window closed with many cute girls at school. Anyway, I only talked to her moderately in high school. But I wondered about her sometimes in the last few years. So I bump into her at BAMBOO BERNIE’S recently. She looked pretty darn good. Now its time to play the game!
After we talked for 5 minutes or so, her friend came to her and asked her want she wanted to drink at the bar. So she said went got a beer. So for my readers..try to guess how Tucker handled this. Here are some possible things that happened.
A.
Keith…er…um ..Tucker is quick on his feet. He walks up with her to the bar, and says I got it. She is happy to get a beer for free, and he buys himself some more time holding a conversation. It goes well after both parties have another beer. Eventually he figures she wants to mingle, and rejoins his friend. He is wise enough to get her number. They have plans to get together in the middle of the week.
B.
Tucker can’t think of anything good to say past the typical small talk. So he starts telling her about gay sheep. He tells her how gay sheep have different brains than their heterosexual counter parts. She seems pretty uncomfortable, and it becomes more awkward when he grabs a cocktail napkin and tries to diagram the gay brain. Finally, he tries to get her to say Osama Where Have You Been Hiding really fast. It is supposed to sound like something. It doesn’t, and the whole thing doesn’t make any sense, and is not funny. She walks away thinking he was a bigger loser than she had thought.
C.
Small talk takes place, but when she goes to the bar he just lets her go. Later that night he talks about getting her number, but never follows through. Later that night he ponders making a doctor appointment to find out if he has any testicles or not. Oh yeah, and when he goes to take a leak some random guy takes his penis out before he gets close to the urinal for no good reason. Than he proceeds to engage in a conversation with Tucker.
D.
Tucker realizes quite possibly too late that her enormous boyfriend does not appreciate the small talk his girlfriend. The man hooks Tucker with a left. Tucker remains on his feet for mere seconds in a feeble attempt to strike back. His efforts are thwarted when the guy knees Tucker in the balls. This it toped off with a bottle being broken over his head. Tucker lays in a puddle of his own blood and beer….twitching like a half dead bug. They only good thing to come out of it, is he might not be able to have kids.
E.
Fellow blogger Drew steps up to Tucker while he is chatting away. “Step aside PUMA is in the house!” he says James Bond like fashion. Tucker just stands and watches her melt wile under the spell of PUMA. Tucker decides to cut his loses and hits on a fat chick. She is one of those fat chicks who still wears clubbin’ clothes for some reason. Tucker just gets really drunk and gets her number only programming 6 out of 7 numbers into his cell phone.
F.
Everything goes well. They share a passionate kiss in the dance floor. Everyone in the crowded bar disappears to these two love birds……okay……….I can’t even continue this one…its obviously fabricated.
email me which one you think is fact
mst3keith@aol.com
or write it down on a piece of paper than throw it away
“Welcome to Comcast Country III: The Merger”
If you are lost about this topic go the archives to read the two prequels.
Comcast and AT&T have joined forces making Comcast the biggest cable company in the entire country. More crappy service, retarded techs, fussy Comcast sports net, and lots more evil.
You can’t stop them. Comcast will own the country one day. They can’t be stopped. Just try. You children will belong to Comcast.
Seriously though, the fuzzy vision is still there, and even at bars. I am not sure if people just are too lazy to complain or Comcast is still just evil. I guess I will have to watch the Flyers through my VCR for the rest of my life. Maybe one day I will write to a local paper or something.
Friday, November 15, 2002
“OSAMA Where You Been Hiding”
(read that out loud really fast)
Good old Osama has shown up in out lives again. The terrorist mastermind has recently released a new tape. American officials are 99.9 percent sure it’s his voice anyway. Although Tucker’s World predicted that he went the way of NJF and Bill Maher’s career. I hate to be wrong, even more so when it means that this bearded dill-weed is still prancing around the desert. I thought for sure he was killed in the attacks of Torra Borra in December of last year, that was also the last we heard of him.
The message has to be recent because he refers to October events including a series of terrorist attacks. The events referecenced include the bombing of a French oil tanker in Yemen; the explosion that killed some 200 people in Bali, Indonesia, many of them Australian and British tourists; the hostage siege in a Moscow theater; and the assassination of a U.S. diplomat in Jordan. Also if you listen really closely you can hear J Lo’s single Jenny From the Block playing quietly in the background.
What reasons would he have to release the tape now? Perhaps he wanted it was to be released in conjunction with Iraq’s response to letting weapons inspectors in his country. Perhaps this might be a red flag to show their connection is stronger than most people thought. Perhaps he is just getting jealous about all the attention that Saddam is getting. I mean Saddam just got his own video game! Where kids can go in and hunt down the Iraq leader. Maybe he wanted to merchandise with his mug on it in time for the holiday season. If anyone sees rock them sock them robots with Bush vs either Osama or Saddam please have that under my tree Christmas morning.
But seriously loyal readers (both of you) as I type this I’m getting word from one of my sources (the Drudge Report) that the FBI has issued another confidential alert. Supposedly, the threat of spectacular attacks on the US has increased. Sources say they are likely to fall under some of these categories: high symbolic value, mass casualties, severe damage to the U.S. economy, and maximum psychological trauma. Things could get really ugly, and I fear we will see another signifigant attack on our soil. Remember its confidential so don’t tell anyone shhhhhhhh….
The war with Iraq I hear will only last about 3 months or so. If they get this puppy kicked off before Santa slides his ass down the chimneys, we can wrap up in time for February sweeps. The war with Iraq is still up in the air, and anyone who thinks its over most likely has bought a protection agreement before. However many people won't fully support it till they can prove Saddam had something to do with 9/11( even some ultra liberals still wont). I am sure Bush would like to do prove it too. Colin Powell was on TV last night and said they still don’t have direct evidence linking Iraq to the attack on America. Till than Bush will be singing: some day we will find it the al-Qaeda connection…..Colin Powell, John Aschroft and meeeeeeee…la de da da da da de….
note:
the archives have hopefully been fixed for my new readers just look to the left of the screen.
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
"Hope"
The double doors fly open from the student center. I am greeted by that mid-fall sun. The sun seems reluctant to let the summer heat slip away. But it is simply no match for the crisp autumn air. Even the leafs do a little dance before landing to the ground. Circling around and drifting skyward before ending in just another pile of dead counterparts.
I try to avoid eye contact with a middle aged gentlemen dressed in a long dark overcoat. He is handing out little green books of the new testament. Not that IM anti-Christianity and like the majority of my generation, but I know I will just break my promise to myself to actually read it. It would be better if the words actually reach someone.
However, we make eye contact. I walk towards him, and he leans over and hands me one. His hair gray curled blows in the wind and he just simply nods his head.
"God Bless You"
"T-thank you sir"
I am not sure what the proper response to someone saying that to you is, but that is the best I have came up with so far. I wonder how long it will be before I break this promise. I place it in the outside pouch of my backpack. At the very least, maybe it will serve as a good luck charm. I continue walking away to the center, and not paying much attention to a table set up and a few men in army uniforms standing around it. Pretty ironic to have that next to a man with bibles I thought.
Just as I started walking away from the table. I heard a voice call me name. I looked up at the uniformed men, and had no idea who any of them are. When a black gentlemen about my age came to me, and offered me his hand I figured he was the one that called out his name. Our hands shook and his hand significantly larger than mine and could have fit around my waist.
"You go here now?!!?"
Apparently, I had a class with him back at my old college .
"Yeah for quite awhile. How long have you been in? I didn't even realize"
"I got sucked in a two years ago!" he said followed by a jubilant laugh. "Seriously..it is in my blood. My dad, my uncle, they were all enlisted. My dad even saw some action in Nam. Figure I will got out there, and get Saddam, and get my picture on TIME magazine or some shit.
Now I remember him, after hearing that laugh. You would think he would have lost some that, considered how dangerous it is to be in his field these days. Jesus..what was his name? He than motioned me over, with his large hand. He put his hand on my shoulder and appeared he was about to tell me some sort of secret.
"You know were going in December? Yeah the Iraq thing is set. We are going in."
"Yeah...I saw on the news. Hadn't figured on that early though."
"Boy, don't ya, think there is lotz you don't on the news?" he followed this up by his trademark laugh.
All I could think about the whole time was reading about how heroic he was in the paper. People trying to justify him losing his life at such an early stage. I thought about his mother hearing the news from a complete stranger and totally losing it, or worse yet from he media. His mother just collapsing to the floor. I doubt he ever even thought about anything this dark. I guess I just have a sick mind.
"So, whatcha learning here?"
"How to waste my parents money!" , I said sarcastically. We engaged in some more generic small talk, before we gave each other signals the conversation was over.
"Alright, man..I will talk to you"
"Be safe", I said I as I turned away.
I cramed my hands in my pockets and walked away. The campus kinda looks like a small colony of ants at times. People running back and forth. People just walking to class, people on skate boards, jogging, and socializing. I pass one couple holding hands. The type of couple that obviously have invested so much time, and effort into making sure their partner is the one that a break up would be disastrous. Just two humans completely depended on each other. A break up would have ment the last years were not only a waste of time, but a blockade for meeting the right person. I am not sure if I should feel sorry for them or envy them. Jesus, maybe I should have been a pysch. major.
As I continued to walk, I saw clusters of students frivolously studying. Everyone trying to fill their brain with enough information in order to pass the next test. Some having a moment on their way to something better others just doing it to make it to the next day.
I pass this beautiful Italian girl I used to have a class with. Usually we stop and talk for a little bit, but she is obviously in a hurry. We only say hello to each other. She once told me about all the volunteer work that she does. She honestly just wants to help people. She works at shelters on her own time. Amazing to someone who doesn’t like to hold the door for people.
The clouds moved in now and the sky started to gray. I slowed down to take a look at the sky, when I heard someone call my name. A girl who I had a class with last semester came bouncing down the sidewalk. She came over and gave me a big hug. She has such a youthful face and perfect cute body. She was 19 an in the prime of her sex appeal.
“Check this out!” she handed me a playbill. It was for Romeo and Juliet. Her name was there with big bold letters. I looked at it.
“I got thousands of them if you want to keep it for when I’m famous.” She said. .
“Maybe one night I will be discovered soon, and I wont ever have to open another book. Its going to happen if you want it to, don’t you think?”
“Sure” I said looking at the ground.
I wanted to tell her that the college we go to isn’t exactly the hotbed for becoming and actor and she would be better off perusing something else. Also that many people never become a success at acting. But I didn’t cause it was the cutest thing I heard in years.
We came to another building as we began to walk together.
“ You graduate in May, right?”. She said as we stood facing each other. Such spirit in her in her wide eyes.
“Yeah I do”
“That’s so awesome!.
“Yeah if anyone will hire me! I mean Christ my uncle just got laid off after being with a company for 35 years. it would be awesome if I could just get a company to hire someone like me!”
“Aww…they will .” Shes said sweetly. She could have told me the sky was red in that voice and I would have been reassured. “ But listen I have to go, but we should get together sometime”, she took a pen out and scribbled her number on the playbill. We gave a quick hug, and I got one last smell of her perfume. I never did call her.
“You will be fine!” she said as she disappeared down the sidewalk.
“ I HOPE so” I said…because sometimes I thought to myself that’s all you got.
The double doors fly open from the student center. I am greeted by that mid-fall sun. The sun seems reluctant to let the summer heat slip away. But it is simply no match for the crisp autumn air. Even the leafs do a little dance before landing to the ground. Circling around and drifting skyward before ending in just another pile of dead counterparts.
I try to avoid eye contact with a middle aged gentlemen dressed in a long dark overcoat. He is handing out little green books of the new testament. Not that IM anti-Christianity and like the majority of my generation, but I know I will just break my promise to myself to actually read it. It would be better if the words actually reach someone.
However, we make eye contact. I walk towards him, and he leans over and hands me one. His hair gray curled blows in the wind and he just simply nods his head.
"God Bless You"
"T-thank you sir"
I am not sure what the proper response to someone saying that to you is, but that is the best I have came up with so far. I wonder how long it will be before I break this promise. I place it in the outside pouch of my backpack. At the very least, maybe it will serve as a good luck charm. I continue walking away to the center, and not paying much attention to a table set up and a few men in army uniforms standing around it. Pretty ironic to have that next to a man with bibles I thought.
Just as I started walking away from the table. I heard a voice call me name. I looked up at the uniformed men, and had no idea who any of them are. When a black gentlemen about my age came to me, and offered me his hand I figured he was the one that called out his name. Our hands shook and his hand significantly larger than mine and could have fit around my waist.
"You go here now?!!?"
Apparently, I had a class with him back at my old college .
"Yeah for quite awhile. How long have you been in? I didn't even realize"
"I got sucked in a two years ago!" he said followed by a jubilant laugh. "Seriously..it is in my blood. My dad, my uncle, they were all enlisted. My dad even saw some action in Nam. Figure I will got out there, and get Saddam, and get my picture on TIME magazine or some shit.
Now I remember him, after hearing that laugh. You would think he would have lost some that, considered how dangerous it is to be in his field these days. Jesus..what was his name? He than motioned me over, with his large hand. He put his hand on my shoulder and appeared he was about to tell me some sort of secret.
"You know were going in December? Yeah the Iraq thing is set. We are going in."
"Yeah...I saw on the news. Hadn't figured on that early though."
"Boy, don't ya, think there is lotz you don't on the news?" he followed this up by his trademark laugh.
All I could think about the whole time was reading about how heroic he was in the paper. People trying to justify him losing his life at such an early stage. I thought about his mother hearing the news from a complete stranger and totally losing it, or worse yet from he media. His mother just collapsing to the floor. I doubt he ever even thought about anything this dark. I guess I just have a sick mind.
"So, whatcha learning here?"
"How to waste my parents money!" , I said sarcastically. We engaged in some more generic small talk, before we gave each other signals the conversation was over.
"Alright, man..I will talk to you"
"Be safe", I said I as I turned away.
I cramed my hands in my pockets and walked away. The campus kinda looks like a small colony of ants at times. People running back and forth. People just walking to class, people on skate boards, jogging, and socializing. I pass one couple holding hands. The type of couple that obviously have invested so much time, and effort into making sure their partner is the one that a break up would be disastrous. Just two humans completely depended on each other. A break up would have ment the last years were not only a waste of time, but a blockade for meeting the right person. I am not sure if I should feel sorry for them or envy them. Jesus, maybe I should have been a pysch. major.
As I continued to walk, I saw clusters of students frivolously studying. Everyone trying to fill their brain with enough information in order to pass the next test. Some having a moment on their way to something better others just doing it to make it to the next day.
I pass this beautiful Italian girl I used to have a class with. Usually we stop and talk for a little bit, but she is obviously in a hurry. We only say hello to each other. She once told me about all the volunteer work that she does. She honestly just wants to help people. She works at shelters on her own time. Amazing to someone who doesn’t like to hold the door for people.
The clouds moved in now and the sky started to gray. I slowed down to take a look at the sky, when I heard someone call my name. A girl who I had a class with last semester came bouncing down the sidewalk. She came over and gave me a big hug. She has such a youthful face and perfect cute body. She was 19 an in the prime of her sex appeal.
“Check this out!” she handed me a playbill. It was for Romeo and Juliet. Her name was there with big bold letters. I looked at it.
“I got thousands of them if you want to keep it for when I’m famous.” She said. .
“Maybe one night I will be discovered soon, and I wont ever have to open another book. Its going to happen if you want it to, don’t you think?”
“Sure” I said looking at the ground.
I wanted to tell her that the college we go to isn’t exactly the hotbed for becoming and actor and she would be better off perusing something else. Also that many people never become a success at acting. But I didn’t cause it was the cutest thing I heard in years.
We came to another building as we began to walk together.
“ You graduate in May, right?”. She said as we stood facing each other. Such spirit in her in her wide eyes.
“Yeah I do”
“That’s so awesome!.
“Yeah if anyone will hire me! I mean Christ my uncle just got laid off after being with a company for 35 years. it would be awesome if I could just get a company to hire someone like me!”
“Aww…they will .” Shes said sweetly. She could have told me the sky was red in that voice and I would have been reassured. “ But listen I have to go, but we should get together sometime”, she took a pen out and scribbled her number on the playbill. We gave a quick hug, and I got one last smell of her perfume. I never did call her.
“You will be fine!” she said as she disappeared down the sidewalk.
“ I HOPE so” I said…because sometimes I thought to myself that’s all you got.
Monday, November 11, 2002
"Bizarro Tucker's World"
http://www.tuckersworld.com/
This link was emailed to me by Dan K. He said he thought it was a website that I actually made for like 10 minutes. For me it took me five minutes. I felt like Homer Simpson when he found his likeness on a soap box. If you look at the website, there is a jay, a keith, and a Ryan. Apperently some of the best parties were at Ryan's. There is also reference to a town called Glassboro. Strange.
Id imagine in this world Jay and Keith are really good friends. Perhaps this Tucker likes his job. Everyone has girlfriends. No one ever talks about death. This Tucker clearly knows a lot more hot chicks than I do, and Im sure actually gets laid quite often. Dan K. swears he saw Ryan in one of the pictures. Maybe these are his new friends.
"Ding Dong Ralphie's Dead"
Well we all knew this would come one day. At least those of us that watch the Sopranos. The blood thirsty fans finally got their wish when poor ralph was strangled to death by "T". I have a friend at Comcast who actually says she got phone calls from customers asking whent he Sopranos are going to pick up.
I have to say despite the fact that I forsaw his demise before the series ended, I never thought it would have came by the hands of Tony himself. I actually kind felt bad for Ralph in his final show. It was when the plot line showed him trying to redem himself that I knew he was a going to die. That is usually a kiss of death for the guy you love to hate. He is like the Jay of the Soprano world.
I mean he didn't just die. He was chopped up! Tony was just a tad out of line, and broke the rule of bringing harm on to a captain.
Id imagine that many of Tony's captains will think it was a hit by the NYC mob. Things could get ugly the last four shows of the season. Too bad after that we will have to wait till 2010 for season 5. By that point I hope to convert the crew into a powerful mob. I'd like to be the leader but, if I still have singular im not likely to get any phone calls from my workers.
Look for a Flyers update, an entry from a guest host, and perhaps another short story coming up on Tucker's world.
http://www.tuckersworld.com/
This link was emailed to me by Dan K. He said he thought it was a website that I actually made for like 10 minutes. For me it took me five minutes. I felt like Homer Simpson when he found his likeness on a soap box. If you look at the website, there is a jay, a keith, and a Ryan. Apperently some of the best parties were at Ryan's. There is also reference to a town called Glassboro. Strange.
Id imagine in this world Jay and Keith are really good friends. Perhaps this Tucker likes his job. Everyone has girlfriends. No one ever talks about death. This Tucker clearly knows a lot more hot chicks than I do, and Im sure actually gets laid quite often. Dan K. swears he saw Ryan in one of the pictures. Maybe these are his new friends.
"Ding Dong Ralphie's Dead"
Well we all knew this would come one day. At least those of us that watch the Sopranos. The blood thirsty fans finally got their wish when poor ralph was strangled to death by "T". I have a friend at Comcast who actually says she got phone calls from customers asking whent he Sopranos are going to pick up.
I have to say despite the fact that I forsaw his demise before the series ended, I never thought it would have came by the hands of Tony himself. I actually kind felt bad for Ralph in his final show. It was when the plot line showed him trying to redem himself that I knew he was a going to die. That is usually a kiss of death for the guy you love to hate. He is like the Jay of the Soprano world.
I mean he didn't just die. He was chopped up! Tony was just a tad out of line, and broke the rule of bringing harm on to a captain.
Id imagine that many of Tony's captains will think it was a hit by the NYC mob. Things could get ugly the last four shows of the season. Too bad after that we will have to wait till 2010 for season 5. By that point I hope to convert the crew into a powerful mob. I'd like to be the leader but, if I still have singular im not likely to get any phone calls from my workers.
Look for a Flyers update, an entry from a guest host, and perhaps another short story coming up on Tucker's world.
Thursday, November 07, 2002
"Dan K.'s Wild Ride"
Well if read Dan K. Hemphill: Race Car Driver? a week ago, you know that Dan K. was about to put the pedal to the metal. Well the predictions were half right. Thankfully he is not dead, but he did crash his car. What follows is an email I got from him hours ago. I honestly thought it was a hoax, like the time he told me Eric Lindros was in a coma after a car accident. Okay Here is the e-mail. TGIF loyal readers!
I'm in pain. My neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, and my chest hurts. This is the result of driving an Indy car right into the back of another driver at 100mph. The sad part is, my prediction came true, the accident happened right before big bend on the straightaway. All of the cars had manual transmissions, the guy in front of me in the green car was about half way down the straightaway. What I didn't know at the time was that he was in 2nd gear and couldn't get the car into 3rd, so he was only going 35 or 40mph.
On the straightaway I was in 4th and had it floored, doing about 100mph. As(the) big bend came up I noticed the green car was right in front of me, he came up so quick! I smashed into the back of him, causing him to spin out of control and fly off the road. The front half of my indy car was cut off, the electrical system died, and my body catapaulted forward, causing the restraints to slam into my shoulders and chest. The car just hobbled to the side of the road. The car was majorly f**ed. The instructor said that was the first accident to happen there in awhile. Leave it up to Dan K to go overboard. I was hoping to rip around big bend at 90 or so. I didn't even make it that far.
And no, this is not a joke.
Well if read Dan K. Hemphill: Race Car Driver? a week ago, you know that Dan K. was about to put the pedal to the metal. Well the predictions were half right. Thankfully he is not dead, but he did crash his car. What follows is an email I got from him hours ago. I honestly thought it was a hoax, like the time he told me Eric Lindros was in a coma after a car accident. Okay Here is the e-mail. TGIF loyal readers!
I'm in pain. My neck hurts, my shoulders hurt, and my chest hurts. This is the result of driving an Indy car right into the back of another driver at 100mph. The sad part is, my prediction came true, the accident happened right before big bend on the straightaway. All of the cars had manual transmissions, the guy in front of me in the green car was about half way down the straightaway. What I didn't know at the time was that he was in 2nd gear and couldn't get the car into 3rd, so he was only going 35 or 40mph.
On the straightaway I was in 4th and had it floored, doing about 100mph. As(the) big bend came up I noticed the green car was right in front of me, he came up so quick! I smashed into the back of him, causing him to spin out of control and fly off the road. The front half of my indy car was cut off, the electrical system died, and my body catapaulted forward, causing the restraints to slam into my shoulders and chest. The car just hobbled to the side of the road. The car was majorly f**ed. The instructor said that was the first accident to happen there in awhile. Leave it up to Dan K to go overboard. I was hoping to rip around big bend at 90 or so. I didn't even make it that far.
And no, this is not a joke.
Time for Tucker’s World Double Header folks, and I am sick of election talk so ..you wont find anything here about it! At least not at this time. This mean there are two NEW posts. That confused people last time.
“Stages of Love”
Being no expert on love and unable to sustain any kind of meaningful relationship, I figured to break down the stages of love for all my loyal readers. This from what I gather is how it plays out.
Stage 1:
Boy meets girl. He consults his friends to see what course of action should be call her? How many days must you wait?
Stage 2: Boy becomes comfortable with girl and brings her out with his friends. He spends most of the night mauling her openly and publicly. His buddies awkwardly stand there and look all around with their beer in their hands.
Stage 3 : Boy’s cell phone doesn’t work when anyone with a penis dials it up. Boy starts getting laid on a regular basis which is and upgrade over watching sports with friends and making gay jokes. When the boy shows ups to see his buddy’s it is like when Kent Manderville scores a goal. They all cheer and hug. Everyone is smiling.
Stage 4: Boy may or not be dead. All contact is lost. His buddies decide to go on a search for him. They get sidetracked and end up at a bar and forget why they were driving around in the first place.
Stage 5:
The boy reappears, but as a unit. He is like Christopher Columbus telling this single friends about his vast discovering of coupleville. He than shows gives advice to his single friends. He tells his friends they should go to grocery stores or bookstores to meet people, because that is where people meet. I worked at a grocery store for like a year and never saw love blossom. I also used to frequent borders, and just saw people reading.
Stage 6:
The couple grow the desire to collect knickknacks and stuff made of wicker. This is the stage of no return. You friend as you know him is dead. They get a place together, and it smells like cinnamon. They have china.
Stage 7
Boy bumps into one of his friends in a mall. It is all awkward and they stand there swaying. The single friend tries to elude that he is getting laid a lot more than he is. You decide to make plans sometime. You end up over the buddy’s house only to find that your being set up with his girlfriends big boned friend.
Stage 8
Your friend who writes a web column starts to wonder if writing for the column after 1 am is a good idea.
Stage 9.
Many years pass. The happy couple gets all giddy one night and decides to go to a bar. When they get there they see all the friends of the boy now a man. They are sitting at a table watching hockey games. They have chart out in front of them and are trying to figure out their stance in a fantasy hockey league. None of them seem to have any females near them at all.
The man looks to his girl and she nods. The man pulls out a revolver and fires a shot at one of the three guys sitting there. They guy does a face dive into a plate of all you can eat wings. The blood spills all over the white fantasy league sheets. The 2nd one is shot down, but he doesn’t notice because he is talking about a Dr. Who episode he enjoys. The third guy wrestles the gun from the man shoves the barrel down his throat and pulls the trigger. It doesn’t go off. The 3 of them laugh and go to the diner together. It is seafood bisque night
“ Beached Whaler”
Kevin Dineen former Flyers Captain and whaler retired this week. He was never one of the most talented players in the league but he made up for that with heart and grit. He was one of the best players on the Flyers in the early 90s. He was one of the players that brought back to following hockey. I am very glad he did.
I recall how awkward it was for him to be coached by his dad. I remember how he never gave up even when the team didn’t make the playoffs for five years. I remember how he scored many a goal, and got the old building rocking loud. He was the last really good captain of the team, although Prims might finally fitting the role.
He spent time with the Sens, Whale, and ended with the Blue Jackets. He has already gotten a cushy office job. His leadership in the locker room with the young team .
From NHL.com. Dineen scored perhaps the most memorable goal in the history of the Whalers in the 1986 Stanley Cup Playoffs against Montreal in the Adams Division finals. He intercepted a Montreal pass in the neutral zone and then turned Canadians defenseman Larry Robinson on his way to roofing a shot over Patrick Roy.
Good Luck Kevin.
Not that your reading this. But Rey might be. So that’s good enough.
“Stages of Love”
Being no expert on love and unable to sustain any kind of meaningful relationship, I figured to break down the stages of love for all my loyal readers. This from what I gather is how it plays out.
Stage 1:
Boy meets girl. He consults his friends to see what course of action should be call her? How many days must you wait?
Stage 2: Boy becomes comfortable with girl and brings her out with his friends. He spends most of the night mauling her openly and publicly. His buddies awkwardly stand there and look all around with their beer in their hands.
Stage 3 : Boy’s cell phone doesn’t work when anyone with a penis dials it up. Boy starts getting laid on a regular basis which is and upgrade over watching sports with friends and making gay jokes. When the boy shows ups to see his buddy’s it is like when Kent Manderville scores a goal. They all cheer and hug. Everyone is smiling.
Stage 4: Boy may or not be dead. All contact is lost. His buddies decide to go on a search for him. They get sidetracked and end up at a bar and forget why they were driving around in the first place.
Stage 5:
The boy reappears, but as a unit. He is like Christopher Columbus telling this single friends about his vast discovering of coupleville. He than shows gives advice to his single friends. He tells his friends they should go to grocery stores or bookstores to meet people, because that is where people meet. I worked at a grocery store for like a year and never saw love blossom. I also used to frequent borders, and just saw people reading.
Stage 6:
The couple grow the desire to collect knickknacks and stuff made of wicker. This is the stage of no return. You friend as you know him is dead. They get a place together, and it smells like cinnamon. They have china.
Stage 7
Boy bumps into one of his friends in a mall. It is all awkward and they stand there swaying. The single friend tries to elude that he is getting laid a lot more than he is. You decide to make plans sometime. You end up over the buddy’s house only to find that your being set up with his girlfriends big boned friend.
Stage 8
Your friend who writes a web column starts to wonder if writing for the column after 1 am is a good idea.
Stage 9.
Many years pass. The happy couple gets all giddy one night and decides to go to a bar. When they get there they see all the friends of the boy now a man. They are sitting at a table watching hockey games. They have chart out in front of them and are trying to figure out their stance in a fantasy hockey league. None of them seem to have any females near them at all.
The man looks to his girl and she nods. The man pulls out a revolver and fires a shot at one of the three guys sitting there. They guy does a face dive into a plate of all you can eat wings. The blood spills all over the white fantasy league sheets. The 2nd one is shot down, but he doesn’t notice because he is talking about a Dr. Who episode he enjoys. The third guy wrestles the gun from the man shoves the barrel down his throat and pulls the trigger. It doesn’t go off. The 3 of them laugh and go to the diner together. It is seafood bisque night
“ Beached Whaler”
Kevin Dineen former Flyers Captain and whaler retired this week. He was never one of the most talented players in the league but he made up for that with heart and grit. He was one of the best players on the Flyers in the early 90s. He was one of the players that brought back to following hockey. I am very glad he did.
I recall how awkward it was for him to be coached by his dad. I remember how he never gave up even when the team didn’t make the playoffs for five years. I remember how he scored many a goal, and got the old building rocking loud. He was the last really good captain of the team, although Prims might finally fitting the role.
He spent time with the Sens, Whale, and ended with the Blue Jackets. He has already gotten a cushy office job. His leadership in the locker room with the young team .
From NHL.com. Dineen scored perhaps the most memorable goal in the history of the Whalers in the 1986 Stanley Cup Playoffs against Montreal in the Adams Division finals. He intercepted a Montreal pass in the neutral zone and then turned Canadians defenseman Larry Robinson on his way to roofing a shot over Patrick Roy.
Good Luck Kevin.
Not that your reading this. But Rey might be. So that’s good enough.
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
“Lame the Vote”
It is election day so I felt obligated to make voting a topic today. I guess that makes me a sheep, but not one of those gay ones with the different brain. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
In my social problems class we realized that 8 people were actually voting and about 27 said they were not. That’s is why my friends that we will always have a two party system and things may never change. Certainly there are enough people in this country to support a third party and silence the bitching that is done by everyman American.
Some students sat and scratched their head in bewilderment with a not so look bright look on their face. Others were jaded saying since the voting system is not based on the popular vote there is no point to vote. Of course that is not the case in the Senate Election. For those of my loyal viewers that are not aware the president is not up for re-election for another two years. That was thrown in for Chris Arter who likely already stopped reading this entry because he cares about as much about politics as I do cars. I just hope he doesn’t kill himself before leaving his current school.
What was I talking about ? Uh….Oh yeah. This one girl said she just likes to hit the little buttons. She is adorable and it was really cute when she said it. One guy in the back actually was voting republican. Because, they are all about making money! Another person claims he jumps the democratic ship because of their recent behavior. He mentioned how they the recently broke the law by entering a last minute candidate (see Feeling Minnesota). However Technically since the court ruled that it was cool. It was legal. Wrong sleazy and under handed, but legal. So me and that dude were wrong.
HORN BLASTS!!!!!!!!
Either that means the Flyers are giving someone a smack down again or its time to read a little READER MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is an email from Andrew “Puma” Vogel from Stratford. Drew writes.
When you say that the Democratic party overturned laws to get Lautenberg into the race, that is simply not true. The law said that you CAN change candidates at any time at least 51 days out from the election. That is not the same thing as a law saying that you CANNOT change candidates after that deadline. Some states (New York) have laws that say that. Other states (New Jersey) do not.
Even leaving that aside for a moment, the New Jersey Supreme Court is the highest authority for interpretting New Jersey law. The highest authority, period. As long as it doesn't conflict with the U.S. Constitution, anything they decide to do is legal, by definition. To say that Lautenberg only got on the ticket by breaking the law is just incorrect; no less incorrect than saying that 2+2=5. There is simply no room for argument on the matter. The New Jersey statute was ambiguous, the Supreme Court interpreted it to answer the question, and that's the end of the story. By all means, vote for Forrester. By all means, consider the switch unfair. But to call it illegal is factually incorrect.
I hate the US Supreme Court's decision in Bush v. Gore, but I've never said it was illegal. It was perfectly legal. It was an abomination of transparent legal reasoning designed to appoint Bush to the presidency at any price, but it was legal.
Okay. There you go. Tucker can be wrong.
However most people in our generation grew up hearing tales of Watergate, and corrupt politician after politician. Many people would rather just stick it to these fellows by not going anywhere. People think votes don’t make any difference. I can understand why. Perhaps these people could get together and support a third alternate party (The green party is getting no where fast). However most these people are to apathetic or lazy. MTV can beg to rock the vote all they want. People our age and at this point just most people generally could give a rats ass. More people are likely to vote for the next American Idole than some rich guy running for office.
I cast my vote a few hours ago. But voting republican in a state like this is pointless. I have more of a chance convincing people I am not in love with Jenna than the democrats losing this state. The same blue haired old ladies were there. Not a soul under 60 in sight. As of now Tucker’s world exit polls show that the democrats have won control of the house. Some would say I wasted 5 minutes of my life. At the very least I earned myself the right to bitch about the way things are, which is more than I can say for people who don’t vote at all.
If you want to learn more about gay sheep cut and paste
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20021104/sc_nm/science_sheep_dc_1
It is election day so I felt obligated to make voting a topic today. I guess that makes me a sheep, but not one of those gay ones with the different brain. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
In my social problems class we realized that 8 people were actually voting and about 27 said they were not. That’s is why my friends that we will always have a two party system and things may never change. Certainly there are enough people in this country to support a third party and silence the bitching that is done by everyman American.
Some students sat and scratched their head in bewilderment with a not so look bright look on their face. Others were jaded saying since the voting system is not based on the popular vote there is no point to vote. Of course that is not the case in the Senate Election. For those of my loyal viewers that are not aware the president is not up for re-election for another two years. That was thrown in for Chris Arter who likely already stopped reading this entry because he cares about as much about politics as I do cars. I just hope he doesn’t kill himself before leaving his current school.
What was I talking about ? Uh….Oh yeah. This one girl said she just likes to hit the little buttons. She is adorable and it was really cute when she said it. One guy in the back actually was voting republican. Because, they are all about making money! Another person claims he jumps the democratic ship because of their recent behavior. He mentioned how they the recently broke the law by entering a last minute candidate (see Feeling Minnesota). However Technically since the court ruled that it was cool. It was legal. Wrong sleazy and under handed, but legal. So me and that dude were wrong.
HORN BLASTS!!!!!!!!
Either that means the Flyers are giving someone a smack down again or its time to read a little READER MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is an email from Andrew “Puma” Vogel from Stratford. Drew writes.
When you say that the Democratic party overturned laws to get Lautenberg into the race, that is simply not true. The law said that you CAN change candidates at any time at least 51 days out from the election. That is not the same thing as a law saying that you CANNOT change candidates after that deadline. Some states (New York) have laws that say that. Other states (New Jersey) do not.
Even leaving that aside for a moment, the New Jersey Supreme Court is the highest authority for interpretting New Jersey law. The highest authority, period. As long as it doesn't conflict with the U.S. Constitution, anything they decide to do is legal, by definition. To say that Lautenberg only got on the ticket by breaking the law is just incorrect; no less incorrect than saying that 2+2=5. There is simply no room for argument on the matter. The New Jersey statute was ambiguous, the Supreme Court interpreted it to answer the question, and that's the end of the story. By all means, vote for Forrester. By all means, consider the switch unfair. But to call it illegal is factually incorrect.
I hate the US Supreme Court's decision in Bush v. Gore, but I've never said it was illegal. It was perfectly legal. It was an abomination of transparent legal reasoning designed to appoint Bush to the presidency at any price, but it was legal.
Okay. There you go. Tucker can be wrong.
However most people in our generation grew up hearing tales of Watergate, and corrupt politician after politician. Many people would rather just stick it to these fellows by not going anywhere. People think votes don’t make any difference. I can understand why. Perhaps these people could get together and support a third alternate party (The green party is getting no where fast). However most these people are to apathetic or lazy. MTV can beg to rock the vote all they want. People our age and at this point just most people generally could give a rats ass. More people are likely to vote for the next American Idole than some rich guy running for office.
I cast my vote a few hours ago. But voting republican in a state like this is pointless. I have more of a chance convincing people I am not in love with Jenna than the democrats losing this state. The same blue haired old ladies were there. Not a soul under 60 in sight. As of now Tucker’s world exit polls show that the democrats have won control of the house. Some would say I wasted 5 minutes of my life. At the very least I earned myself the right to bitch about the way things are, which is more than I can say for people who don’t vote at all.
If you want to learn more about gay sheep cut and paste
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20021104/sc_nm/science_sheep_dc_1
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Okay since I knew this story was coming I hyped it up a lot. If it actually lives up to the hype will be for my readers to decide. It is Sweeps month on Tucker’s world so it is time to crank it up a notch!
“Dan K. Hemphill, Race Car Driver?”
Dan K. Hemphill’s girlfriend might be crying her eyes out this weekend. No, he is not refusing to go to a wedding or a funeral with her again. However, his days on this Earth might certainly be numbered.
The chain of events that will either end being an experience of a lifetime or the cause of death on a police report started earlier this week. When he got an e-mail from his boss that simply stated:
"Hey, let me know if you want to drive a race car next Wednesday. You have to be in Connecticut at 6am.”
At first of course he thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. Dan K. will be going to Skip Barber Racing School, on one of the most popular racetracks in the country, Limerock Park in the Berkshire Mountains. Many Nascar drivers get their start here.
Dan K. will race a real Indy car like the big boys. This ain’t no street car night at Atco raceway. He is skipping that step and going right for the big leagues. His history of going over board, and showing off might be a lethal combination. Perhaps it will be the glorious start of his amateur racing career.
check out these links
http://www.skipbarber.com/images/tracks/full/LR.jpg
http://www.skipbarber.com/
“The track is 2 miles long. I could very easily crash and die… all manual transmissions, (I) haven’t driven a stick in years. If I crash I’m not making it out alive” stated the reclusive Hemphill during an instant message conversation with Tucker’s world.
The people that are running this have not heard the infamous Aldi story. Nor are they aware of his lack of will to live. However, it is dangerous enough that he has to sign a waiver.
“Worst thing is Big Bend comes after the straightaway, so ill most likely plant my foot in big bend at 140mph praying to Allah.” Continued Dan K.
“This might be Dan K's final stunt”
Previous stunts include crashing a brand new car during a test drive, and smoking out the Sterling High school parking lot on graduation night.
“I’m going to crank heavy metal in the viper as I m flying around the track
of course it will make me drive more violently”
When asked about his girlfriend's negative reaction to the news. He said he simply blew her off. You wonder if someone with little race experience might even chicken out. Not this black sheep.
“How the f*** could I turn down 100+ mph in a damn Indy car on a REAL race track? I’m going to push all of the vehicles to their limits.”
God speed Dan K. God Speed!
“Dan K. Hemphill, Race Car Driver?”
Dan K. Hemphill’s girlfriend might be crying her eyes out this weekend. No, he is not refusing to go to a wedding or a funeral with her again. However, his days on this Earth might certainly be numbered.
The chain of events that will either end being an experience of a lifetime or the cause of death on a police report started earlier this week. When he got an e-mail from his boss that simply stated:
"Hey, let me know if you want to drive a race car next Wednesday. You have to be in Connecticut at 6am.”
At first of course he thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. Dan K. will be going to Skip Barber Racing School, on one of the most popular racetracks in the country, Limerock Park in the Berkshire Mountains. Many Nascar drivers get their start here.
Dan K. will race a real Indy car like the big boys. This ain’t no street car night at Atco raceway. He is skipping that step and going right for the big leagues. His history of going over board, and showing off might be a lethal combination. Perhaps it will be the glorious start of his amateur racing career.
check out these links
http://www.skipbarber.com/images/tracks/full/LR.jpg
http://www.skipbarber.com/
“The track is 2 miles long. I could very easily crash and die… all manual transmissions, (I) haven’t driven a stick in years. If I crash I’m not making it out alive” stated the reclusive Hemphill during an instant message conversation with Tucker’s world.
The people that are running this have not heard the infamous Aldi story. Nor are they aware of his lack of will to live. However, it is dangerous enough that he has to sign a waiver.
“Worst thing is Big Bend comes after the straightaway, so ill most likely plant my foot in big bend at 140mph praying to Allah.” Continued Dan K.
“This might be Dan K's final stunt”
Previous stunts include crashing a brand new car during a test drive, and smoking out the Sterling High school parking lot on graduation night.
“I’m going to crank heavy metal in the viper as I m flying around the track
of course it will make me drive more violently”
When asked about his girlfriend's negative reaction to the news. He said he simply blew her off. You wonder if someone with little race experience might even chicken out. Not this black sheep.
“How the f*** could I turn down 100+ mph in a damn Indy car on a REAL race track? I’m going to push all of the vehicles to their limits.”
God speed Dan K. God Speed!
I was going to compile a bunch of ghost stories for today, but I was too lazy. You will have to settle for this. ITs pretty long so dont forget to scroll down and check out last nights post about the DemoRATS.
"Monster Mash"
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
>From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
"Monster Mash"
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
>From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
“Feeling Minnesota”
For those of you who don’t follow the political world or pick up a newspaper you missed the democratic party sink to a new low. This from a party that has inserted 78 year-old Frank Lautenberg to replace Bob Torricelli since, the torch was getting his ass kicked among political scandal. This would be cool had they not have to over turn laws (or break) just to meet their own political agenda. Also since there is no way Lautenberg, has any intention on serving a six-year term people casting votes for him either are cool with this or are totally naive. Many feel that Torricelli will eventually just be appointed anyway eventually, after last night I would not be surprised. Remember these are the people who are all about feelings.
A democratic senator Paul Wellsone was killed in a plane crash along with his wife and daughter last week. The kind of event that makes people take stock and put political BS aside. The Democratic Party even begged the republicans to cool off on the campaigning. They told Dick Cheny (he is our vice president.) to stay home because his appearance would over shadow the memorial to the late senator. The Republicans totally respected this. The lost of life is bigger than a stupid campaign.
The tribute didn’t last to long. I mean I am not saying they shouldn’t try to make it a really depressing experience, but it was a funeral. They still have no idea why the plane crashed, because the black box was not recovered. Kinda like when Ron Brown (a Clinton buddy term enemy) went down in a plane crash. The night turned into a political prep rally for the party. Walter Mondale another old man, will now run for the senate for the Democrats. He showed up last night at the democratic prep rally er memorial service. The mood was happy go lucky for the most party there were many laughs and many speeches talking about how important it is to win the election. Clinton was there yucking it up and rallying the troops.
A speaker basically told republicans of the state that they are terrible people if they betrayed their friend and didn’t dick over their political party and drum up votes for Mondale. Wellstone would want it that way! The came off completely crass, but it was nothing compared to what they did to republican Trent Lott. Whatever beef they had against him you think they would put aside seeing as where people had just been killed. Nope. They booed him even though he spent his own money and flew out there to say goodbye to a man who he respected. Gov. Jesse Ventura and many others got so disgusted and left.
To make matters worse (and a borderline violation of FCC regulations) they got 3 free hours of political air time, that republicans are not likely to ever get back. The media was completely misled (or so they say) about what was to transpire during the course of the night. I mean I know they are pressed for time with the election being next week and all, but there is no reason to exploit the dead. It is in horrible taste to turn someone’s memorial service in to a political soap box. What happened to the days of I feel your pain? They were having a blast last night! The Democratic party is more evil than the Republican party by far. I don’t know how the other became such a main stream opinion.
Upon leaving the memorial service, a republican political figure (I can’t recall who) was asked by a reporter for his rebuttal to the democratic speeches.
“Do you realize what you just asked me?” he asked the reporter.
For those of you who don’t follow the political world or pick up a newspaper you missed the democratic party sink to a new low. This from a party that has inserted 78 year-old Frank Lautenberg to replace Bob Torricelli since, the torch was getting his ass kicked among political scandal. This would be cool had they not have to over turn laws (or break) just to meet their own political agenda. Also since there is no way Lautenberg, has any intention on serving a six-year term people casting votes for him either are cool with this or are totally naive. Many feel that Torricelli will eventually just be appointed anyway eventually, after last night I would not be surprised. Remember these are the people who are all about feelings.
A democratic senator Paul Wellsone was killed in a plane crash along with his wife and daughter last week. The kind of event that makes people take stock and put political BS aside. The Democratic Party even begged the republicans to cool off on the campaigning. They told Dick Cheny (he is our vice president.) to stay home because his appearance would over shadow the memorial to the late senator. The Republicans totally respected this. The lost of life is bigger than a stupid campaign.
The tribute didn’t last to long. I mean I am not saying they shouldn’t try to make it a really depressing experience, but it was a funeral. They still have no idea why the plane crashed, because the black box was not recovered. Kinda like when Ron Brown (a Clinton buddy term enemy) went down in a plane crash. The night turned into a political prep rally for the party. Walter Mondale another old man, will now run for the senate for the Democrats. He showed up last night at the democratic prep rally er memorial service. The mood was happy go lucky for the most party there were many laughs and many speeches talking about how important it is to win the election. Clinton was there yucking it up and rallying the troops.
A speaker basically told republicans of the state that they are terrible people if they betrayed their friend and didn’t dick over their political party and drum up votes for Mondale. Wellstone would want it that way! The came off completely crass, but it was nothing compared to what they did to republican Trent Lott. Whatever beef they had against him you think they would put aside seeing as where people had just been killed. Nope. They booed him even though he spent his own money and flew out there to say goodbye to a man who he respected. Gov. Jesse Ventura and many others got so disgusted and left.
To make matters worse (and a borderline violation of FCC regulations) they got 3 free hours of political air time, that republicans are not likely to ever get back. The media was completely misled (or so they say) about what was to transpire during the course of the night. I mean I know they are pressed for time with the election being next week and all, but there is no reason to exploit the dead. It is in horrible taste to turn someone’s memorial service in to a political soap box. What happened to the days of I feel your pain? They were having a blast last night! The Democratic party is more evil than the Republican party by far. I don’t know how the other became such a main stream opinion.
Upon leaving the memorial service, a republican political figure (I can’t recall who) was asked by a reporter for his rebuttal to the democratic speeches.
“Do you realize what you just asked me?” he asked the reporter.
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