Okay since I knew this story was coming I hyped it up a lot. If it actually lives up to the hype will be for my readers to decide. It is Sweeps month on Tucker’s world so it is time to crank it up a notch!
“Dan K. Hemphill, Race Car Driver?”
Dan K. Hemphill’s girlfriend might be crying her eyes out this weekend. No, he is not refusing to go to a wedding or a funeral with her again. However, his days on this Earth might certainly be numbered.
The chain of events that will either end being an experience of a lifetime or the cause of death on a police report started earlier this week. When he got an e-mail from his boss that simply stated:
"Hey, let me know if you want to drive a race car next Wednesday. You have to be in Connecticut at 6am.”
At first of course he thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. Dan K. will be going to Skip Barber Racing School, on one of the most popular racetracks in the country, Limerock Park in the Berkshire Mountains. Many Nascar drivers get their start here.
Dan K. will race a real Indy car like the big boys. This ain’t no street car night at Atco raceway. He is skipping that step and going right for the big leagues. His history of going over board, and showing off might be a lethal combination. Perhaps it will be the glorious start of his amateur racing career.
check out these links
http://www.skipbarber.com/images/tracks/full/LR.jpg
http://www.skipbarber.com/
“The track is 2 miles long. I could very easily crash and die… all manual transmissions, (I) haven’t driven a stick in years. If I crash I’m not making it out alive” stated the reclusive Hemphill during an instant message conversation with Tucker’s world.
The people that are running this have not heard the infamous Aldi story. Nor are they aware of his lack of will to live. However, it is dangerous enough that he has to sign a waiver.
“Worst thing is Big Bend comes after the straightaway, so ill most likely plant my foot in big bend at 140mph praying to Allah.” Continued Dan K.
“This might be Dan K's final stunt”
Previous stunts include crashing a brand new car during a test drive, and smoking out the Sterling High school parking lot on graduation night.
“I’m going to crank heavy metal in the viper as I m flying around the track
of course it will make me drive more violently”
When asked about his girlfriend's negative reaction to the news. He said he simply blew her off. You wonder if someone with little race experience might even chicken out. Not this black sheep.
“How the f*** could I turn down 100+ mph in a damn Indy car on a REAL race track? I’m going to push all of the vehicles to their limits.”
God speed Dan K. God Speed!
Thursday, October 31, 2002
I was going to compile a bunch of ghost stories for today, but I was too lazy. You will have to settle for this. ITs pretty long so dont forget to scroll down and check out last nights post about the DemoRATS.
"Monster Mash"
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
>From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
"Monster Mash"
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
>From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash
Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
“Feeling Minnesota”
For those of you who don’t follow the political world or pick up a newspaper you missed the democratic party sink to a new low. This from a party that has inserted 78 year-old Frank Lautenberg to replace Bob Torricelli since, the torch was getting his ass kicked among political scandal. This would be cool had they not have to over turn laws (or break) just to meet their own political agenda. Also since there is no way Lautenberg, has any intention on serving a six-year term people casting votes for him either are cool with this or are totally naive. Many feel that Torricelli will eventually just be appointed anyway eventually, after last night I would not be surprised. Remember these are the people who are all about feelings.
A democratic senator Paul Wellsone was killed in a plane crash along with his wife and daughter last week. The kind of event that makes people take stock and put political BS aside. The Democratic Party even begged the republicans to cool off on the campaigning. They told Dick Cheny (he is our vice president.) to stay home because his appearance would over shadow the memorial to the late senator. The Republicans totally respected this. The lost of life is bigger than a stupid campaign.
The tribute didn’t last to long. I mean I am not saying they shouldn’t try to make it a really depressing experience, but it was a funeral. They still have no idea why the plane crashed, because the black box was not recovered. Kinda like when Ron Brown (a Clinton buddy term enemy) went down in a plane crash. The night turned into a political prep rally for the party. Walter Mondale another old man, will now run for the senate for the Democrats. He showed up last night at the democratic prep rally er memorial service. The mood was happy go lucky for the most party there were many laughs and many speeches talking about how important it is to win the election. Clinton was there yucking it up and rallying the troops.
A speaker basically told republicans of the state that they are terrible people if they betrayed their friend and didn’t dick over their political party and drum up votes for Mondale. Wellstone would want it that way! The came off completely crass, but it was nothing compared to what they did to republican Trent Lott. Whatever beef they had against him you think they would put aside seeing as where people had just been killed. Nope. They booed him even though he spent his own money and flew out there to say goodbye to a man who he respected. Gov. Jesse Ventura and many others got so disgusted and left.
To make matters worse (and a borderline violation of FCC regulations) they got 3 free hours of political air time, that republicans are not likely to ever get back. The media was completely misled (or so they say) about what was to transpire during the course of the night. I mean I know they are pressed for time with the election being next week and all, but there is no reason to exploit the dead. It is in horrible taste to turn someone’s memorial service in to a political soap box. What happened to the days of I feel your pain? They were having a blast last night! The Democratic party is more evil than the Republican party by far. I don’t know how the other became such a main stream opinion.
Upon leaving the memorial service, a republican political figure (I can’t recall who) was asked by a reporter for his rebuttal to the democratic speeches.
“Do you realize what you just asked me?” he asked the reporter.
For those of you who don’t follow the political world or pick up a newspaper you missed the democratic party sink to a new low. This from a party that has inserted 78 year-old Frank Lautenberg to replace Bob Torricelli since, the torch was getting his ass kicked among political scandal. This would be cool had they not have to over turn laws (or break) just to meet their own political agenda. Also since there is no way Lautenberg, has any intention on serving a six-year term people casting votes for him either are cool with this or are totally naive. Many feel that Torricelli will eventually just be appointed anyway eventually, after last night I would not be surprised. Remember these are the people who are all about feelings.
A democratic senator Paul Wellsone was killed in a plane crash along with his wife and daughter last week. The kind of event that makes people take stock and put political BS aside. The Democratic Party even begged the republicans to cool off on the campaigning. They told Dick Cheny (he is our vice president.) to stay home because his appearance would over shadow the memorial to the late senator. The Republicans totally respected this. The lost of life is bigger than a stupid campaign.
The tribute didn’t last to long. I mean I am not saying they shouldn’t try to make it a really depressing experience, but it was a funeral. They still have no idea why the plane crashed, because the black box was not recovered. Kinda like when Ron Brown (a Clinton buddy term enemy) went down in a plane crash. The night turned into a political prep rally for the party. Walter Mondale another old man, will now run for the senate for the Democrats. He showed up last night at the democratic prep rally er memorial service. The mood was happy go lucky for the most party there were many laughs and many speeches talking about how important it is to win the election. Clinton was there yucking it up and rallying the troops.
A speaker basically told republicans of the state that they are terrible people if they betrayed their friend and didn’t dick over their political party and drum up votes for Mondale. Wellstone would want it that way! The came off completely crass, but it was nothing compared to what they did to republican Trent Lott. Whatever beef they had against him you think they would put aside seeing as where people had just been killed. Nope. They booed him even though he spent his own money and flew out there to say goodbye to a man who he respected. Gov. Jesse Ventura and many others got so disgusted and left.
To make matters worse (and a borderline violation of FCC regulations) they got 3 free hours of political air time, that republicans are not likely to ever get back. The media was completely misled (or so they say) about what was to transpire during the course of the night. I mean I know they are pressed for time with the election being next week and all, but there is no reason to exploit the dead. It is in horrible taste to turn someone’s memorial service in to a political soap box. What happened to the days of I feel your pain? They were having a blast last night! The Democratic party is more evil than the Republican party by far. I don’t know how the other became such a main stream opinion.
Upon leaving the memorial service, a republican political figure (I can’t recall who) was asked by a reporter for his rebuttal to the democratic speeches.
“Do you realize what you just asked me?” he asked the reporter.
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Sorry for the delay in posts...for that you get a double-header. Sadly more people will read this post than watched the World Series.
“The Secret Life of Ralphie Cifaretto”
Sometimes when a tv show or a movie becomes popular and you don’t realize that some of the actors had done previous movies that you have seen. Like it took me awhile to realize that Josh Hartnett who has had much success of late, was the kid in the AWFUL Halloween H20. I didn’t realize till I flipped pasted the USA broadcast premier of the ultra-dark Nicolas Cage flick 8 Millimeter that Tony Soprano and “The Machine” were one in the same. I mean when I first tuned into The Sopranos, I didn’t even recognize him from anything.
I learned to accept that one. But I was totally blown away after reading an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer profiling Joe Pantoliano who plays Ralphia Cifartetto has been in many movies I have seen before. He appeared in such movies as Bad Boys, and the Fugitive. I guess small roles that I don’t recall. But when I read he was in last year’s Memento I could not imagine who he was in the film. Since it had such a short cast I figured he had to be Teddy. The sleazy friend of the lead character of the movie, but he was bald and looked nothing like Ralphie. Clearly the paper had mad an error.
Well I looked up on the IMDB and they were right. Apparently, he wears the best damn wig on tv. He has really short gray hair, and is almost bald. He did however really grow up in North Jersey and his step-dad might have been connected. I can’t get over that it is the same actor! I guess in a world of featherless chickens anything is possible.
“Snow Business”
Sleet is being said on my TV right now, and so is wet snow. Of course it is in regards to the Pocono’s. However, it was reported as close as Mullica Hill today. Philly might see some wet snow this weekend. The last several winters have been really mild. In fact I am pretty sure we skipped winter last year. The one snow “storm” that hit South Jersey was a distant memory when it hit over 50 degrees the next day.
This fall however seemed a bit on the chilli side, at least to this cold weather loving south jerseyan. So when I checked the Fox Philadelphia Weather page as I usually do I decided to drop an email to Rob Guarino. I did this as a loyal service to my readers (both of them) and because I am a huge dork.
Since I heard El Nino was returning after a brief hiatus for this winter I knew that something crazy was going to happen this winter. Honestly in the same article that I read in the Courier-Post they said it would be really mild, but ended by saying it could also be wet and wild. So lets see. It will either be really cold and wet or warm and dry? Well…I could have told you that. So, anyway I sent him an email asking him if the cool fall could have anything to do with a colder winter. Also to clear up what the right call was for the return of El Nino. I also pressured him to predict the total amount of snow fall in our region this winter. Something he has not done on TV or on his webpage as of yet. THEREFORE, YOU HEARD IT AT TUCKER’S WORLD FIRST!
Here is the response he wrote me.
BOTH CALLS ARE RIGHT AT THIS POINT AND YES THE FALL WEATHER IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WINTER. OCEAN TEMPS DROPPING UNLIKE LAST YEAR.
LOOK FOR 15-22" OF SNOW THIS SEASON. BELOW AVG. BUT BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.
--ROB GUARINO
FOX WEATHER
Don't expect NBC 10's John Bolaris to tell us we will be up to our eyeballs in snow this year, at least not from a Philadelphia affliate. He is leaving NBC 10 at the end of November (sweeps month of course). The popular weatherman known for banging lots of hot chicks and dating Lauren Hart (Gene Harts daughter) for 4 years made an ass out of himself a few winters ago. He predicted for the storm of the century, and all we got was wet snow and some wind and it was like 50 degrees. He literally got 3,000 death threats e-mailed to him. He will leave for NYC to be back and already might have a job at a CBS affliate. I doubt Howard Eskin can cock block him that far away.
Also my friend Duke who claims to be in touch with the weather is predicating a cold possibly snow filled winter. But we once had to convince him to use Soap.
“The Secret Life of Ralphie Cifaretto”
Sometimes when a tv show or a movie becomes popular and you don’t realize that some of the actors had done previous movies that you have seen. Like it took me awhile to realize that Josh Hartnett who has had much success of late, was the kid in the AWFUL Halloween H20. I didn’t realize till I flipped pasted the USA broadcast premier of the ultra-dark Nicolas Cage flick 8 Millimeter that Tony Soprano and “The Machine” were one in the same. I mean when I first tuned into The Sopranos, I didn’t even recognize him from anything.
I learned to accept that one. But I was totally blown away after reading an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer profiling Joe Pantoliano who plays Ralphia Cifartetto has been in many movies I have seen before. He appeared in such movies as Bad Boys, and the Fugitive. I guess small roles that I don’t recall. But when I read he was in last year’s Memento I could not imagine who he was in the film. Since it had such a short cast I figured he had to be Teddy. The sleazy friend of the lead character of the movie, but he was bald and looked nothing like Ralphie. Clearly the paper had mad an error.
Well I looked up on the IMDB and they were right. Apparently, he wears the best damn wig on tv. He has really short gray hair, and is almost bald. He did however really grow up in North Jersey and his step-dad might have been connected. I can’t get over that it is the same actor! I guess in a world of featherless chickens anything is possible.
“Snow Business”
Sleet is being said on my TV right now, and so is wet snow. Of course it is in regards to the Pocono’s. However, it was reported as close as Mullica Hill today. Philly might see some wet snow this weekend. The last several winters have been really mild. In fact I am pretty sure we skipped winter last year. The one snow “storm” that hit South Jersey was a distant memory when it hit over 50 degrees the next day.
This fall however seemed a bit on the chilli side, at least to this cold weather loving south jerseyan. So when I checked the Fox Philadelphia Weather page as I usually do I decided to drop an email to Rob Guarino. I did this as a loyal service to my readers (both of them) and because I am a huge dork.
Since I heard El Nino was returning after a brief hiatus for this winter I knew that something crazy was going to happen this winter. Honestly in the same article that I read in the Courier-Post they said it would be really mild, but ended by saying it could also be wet and wild. So lets see. It will either be really cold and wet or warm and dry? Well…I could have told you that. So, anyway I sent him an email asking him if the cool fall could have anything to do with a colder winter. Also to clear up what the right call was for the return of El Nino. I also pressured him to predict the total amount of snow fall in our region this winter. Something he has not done on TV or on his webpage as of yet. THEREFORE, YOU HEARD IT AT TUCKER’S WORLD FIRST!
Here is the response he wrote me.
BOTH CALLS ARE RIGHT AT THIS POINT AND YES THE FALL WEATHER IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WINTER. OCEAN TEMPS DROPPING UNLIKE LAST YEAR.
LOOK FOR 15-22" OF SNOW THIS SEASON. BELOW AVG. BUT BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.
--ROB GUARINO
FOX WEATHER
Don't expect NBC 10's John Bolaris to tell us we will be up to our eyeballs in snow this year, at least not from a Philadelphia affliate. He is leaving NBC 10 at the end of November (sweeps month of course). The popular weatherman known for banging lots of hot chicks and dating Lauren Hart (Gene Harts daughter) for 4 years made an ass out of himself a few winters ago. He predicted for the storm of the century, and all we got was wet snow and some wind and it was like 50 degrees. He literally got 3,000 death threats e-mailed to him. He will leave for NYC to be back and already might have a job at a CBS affliate. I doubt Howard Eskin can cock block him that far away.
Also my friend Duke who claims to be in touch with the weather is predicating a cold possibly snow filled winter. But we once had to convince him to use Soap.
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