So, as I was saying before Price, Rick and I went to a beerfest, and afterwards we post gamed at a bar. While Rick was talking about different kinds off beers to this girl, I got bored and wondered off.
I ended up outside for some fresh air and ended up talking to this girl that was up at the bar. Things went really well with good conversation, and all. Oddly, enough I don't think Price or Rick even noticed that I was gone. Actually, they had no idea what I was talking about when I posted this apperently.
At any rate she was there with her friend and her boyfriend and we all sat and hung out for awhile. Turns out she was only 21, which well I shouldn't make much of a big deal about, but year kinda of on different life stages. But, really I never look for anything serious right out of the gate anyway, so what difference did it make?
She was a waitress someplace (hey you try to recall that info when you have been drinking all day) and actually had the same exact name as a girl I went to highschool with. She clearly wasn't here though. At the end of the night I did get her number. That Tuesday I called her.
Now when I called her I got her voicemail. Which is always akward for a first call, but at least I know she didn't give me a bogus number at this point (one of my females friends used to do that all the time).
Anyway, around 11:15 or so she called me back. Right off the bat I noticed something was wrong. She seemed totally out of it.
I asked if she was working earlier when I called. She replied that she was out "picking up tree" for her friends. Than she asked me in her slurred speech if "I smoked Tree"
Okay, I should state here that the last time up till this point in my life that someone asked "If I smoked Tree" I was muggged by a bunch of hoodlums in broad daylight in Atlantic City.
I told her she sounded tired. She told me she wasn't tired, but her sister brought her home pills to take. She said the name, but I am not sure what they were, but I know know they make you speak like the late Anna Nicole Smith (I can not belive that is the 2nd time I mentioned her on this blog).
I guess there was a bit of indication we are on different life cycles because she told me when she works she doesn't get off "that late" which was 11:30. Now 11:30 for me during the week is usually the time that I am climbing into bed an wrapping myself up in my Gore in '08 blankets.
Anyway, she went on to say some other stuff that made little sense, and something about watching BOrat. So, I told me friend Rob about it (not the arter of the year) who told me I should call her and hang out with her even though we both agreed she was a trainwreck. So, I called her later in the week for the only reason to get more stories. But again she wasn't making much sense.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
"The Festival of Beer in the City of Atlantic"
This past Saturday Price, Rick and myself went to the 2nd Annual Beer Festival in Atlantic City. The concept is simple you pay 30 bucks (25 if you are smart enough to buy your tickets online unlike us) and there is a bunch of beer distributors there. They give you a cup when you first go in and you just go from one beer station to the next and fill her up. They have all kinds of beers from overseas and some trying out new blends, or small breweries trying to make a name for themselves. In addition to the beer, there is food, Irish music, and gift shops.
We took the train down since it was right in the convention center and the train ends right there. To be honest it was a pretty sweet deal roughly 6 bucks for a round trip. We got there a little early and walked around. It is pretty cool now because when you get off the train you are in the middle of a down town where there are a ton of shops.
The line to get the ticket was long, and the line to get in the door was even longer. Price some how got split up from me and Rick. At this point I was starting to doubt that this thing was going to be worth it. But, when I got in there I was like a kid in a candy store, so much to take in. I just ran off and left Rick randomly getting beer from different stations.
A common theme would be that we split up and try to call each other on the cell phones. At one point Price and I wondered past a massage station. The random Asian women not only offered me a massage but started giving me one. Than suddenly she caught me off guard.
"12 dollar!, 12 dollar!"
"Um, I was really wasn't looking to..."
"12 dollar!, 12 dollar!"
"No, really that's okay.."
Than she shoved me onto the table and started rubbing me up. This was the first professional massage I have ever had in my life. I was pretty good you know its start to finish. Price ended up getting roped in (mainly my fault) to one too. He had a dude touching him, but he swears he didn't touch his butt, like the lady did to me. After she pretty much forced me to get her service, I wondered if my wallet would be missing after the butt rub. Luckily it wasn't.
This was a first also, when the women actually asked me for a tip. I never had anyone ask me for a tip before in my life. I looked in my wallet trying to figure out what the tip on 12 should be, when I realized only had one single and all 20s, out of fear I would not get any money back I gave her a dollar. She started getting loud.
"One dollar?!?!? One Dollar??!?"
I slowly backed away and waited for Price.
We tried it all Beer that tasted like toilet water, beer that tasted like coffee, bear with the word monkey in its name, beer that tasted like cheap whine, beer, beer and more beer. Of course like wing bowl some of the laws and rules became blurred with people smoking in the bathroom like it was no big deal. At one point the overweight middle aged rent a cop chased people out. But 5mins later the cloud of smoke returned. I forgot what it was like to have to wave myself through a cloud of smoke to get to the pisser.
Now there were alot more dudes than girls at this place. I did however bump into an ex-girlfriend(not liza) It was nice to see her I guess. I guess it was like 7 years or so. Hard to get my head around it that it was that long ago. There was some lame MAXIM magazine ripoff there. My god, they must have few readers. The girls they got in binkinis were all fat (litterally fat) and had veiny legs and bad skin. It was as if someone played a cruel joke on us all. I was waiting for some radio DJ to come out and punk us all or something.
We wanted to live a little early and beat the rush. It worked out great cause the train left early anyway. While for tickets (we were to dim to buy round trip tickets) in line there was a random drunk fat British guy.
"You, like Ben Stiller! Ben Stiller is a cunt!" --British Guy
"Um..." Me
"Doesn''t he always play a cunt! You look like him you must be a cunt!"
"I don't really um..."
He kept calling me a cunt about 10 more times.
Than he turned to a guy behind him in line and told him he F****d his mother in Liverpool. Than he banged his dad later. The guy behind him had no idea who he was.
I was so much funnier since he had a British accent, he reminded me of the sidekick in Shaun of the Dead.
The train ride home rivaled that of the "Fools on a Train" story. First off there was a drunk guy that almost fell over in Rick's lap before vomiting all over himself and retreating to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet with the door open. The odd thing is he seemed to be by himself, no one had any idea who he was or where he had to get off.
Meanwhile the front of the train had some older people. For some reason (price seemed to know why) they kept shouting JIMMY!!!!!!
AT this point we were mingling with a few different groups and we all were puzzled by this but got a real kick out of it. So, we all started yelling back.
"JIMMY!!!!!!!"
Than they would yell back.
"Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!"
No idea who Jimmy was, or why we were so amused doing this. But, it went on for about another 30mins. As each group of dudes (mainly) got off the train they would pound on my window and yell.
"Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anyway the drunk dude eventually got off. Although I am fairly sure he crapped his pants before doing so. SOMEONE on the train certainly did. It was just an awful foul stench.
We got back to our neck of the woods at 11:30 ish which was perfect because we decided to hit up Harpers. All and all it really lived up to my expectations and anyone that didn't go really missed out on a good time.
Harpers was fun Allen and a bunch of our other friends were up there. I even got some cute 21 year old Irish chick's number. But that my friends is another entry all together. Tune in next time SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL!
We took the train down since it was right in the convention center and the train ends right there. To be honest it was a pretty sweet deal roughly 6 bucks for a round trip. We got there a little early and walked around. It is pretty cool now because when you get off the train you are in the middle of a down town where there are a ton of shops.
The line to get the ticket was long, and the line to get in the door was even longer. Price some how got split up from me and Rick. At this point I was starting to doubt that this thing was going to be worth it. But, when I got in there I was like a kid in a candy store, so much to take in. I just ran off and left Rick randomly getting beer from different stations.
A common theme would be that we split up and try to call each other on the cell phones. At one point Price and I wondered past a massage station. The random Asian women not only offered me a massage but started giving me one. Than suddenly she caught me off guard.
"12 dollar!, 12 dollar!"
"Um, I was really wasn't looking to..."
"12 dollar!, 12 dollar!"
"No, really that's okay.."
Than she shoved me onto the table and started rubbing me up. This was the first professional massage I have ever had in my life. I was pretty good you know its start to finish. Price ended up getting roped in (mainly my fault) to one too. He had a dude touching him, but he swears he didn't touch his butt, like the lady did to me. After she pretty much forced me to get her service, I wondered if my wallet would be missing after the butt rub. Luckily it wasn't.
This was a first also, when the women actually asked me for a tip. I never had anyone ask me for a tip before in my life. I looked in my wallet trying to figure out what the tip on 12 should be, when I realized only had one single and all 20s, out of fear I would not get any money back I gave her a dollar. She started getting loud.
"One dollar?!?!? One Dollar??!?"
I slowly backed away and waited for Price.
We tried it all Beer that tasted like toilet water, beer that tasted like coffee, bear with the word monkey in its name, beer that tasted like cheap whine, beer, beer and more beer. Of course like wing bowl some of the laws and rules became blurred with people smoking in the bathroom like it was no big deal. At one point the overweight middle aged rent a cop chased people out. But 5mins later the cloud of smoke returned. I forgot what it was like to have to wave myself through a cloud of smoke to get to the pisser.
Now there were alot more dudes than girls at this place. I did however bump into an ex-girlfriend(not liza) It was nice to see her I guess. I guess it was like 7 years or so. Hard to get my head around it that it was that long ago. There was some lame MAXIM magazine ripoff there. My god, they must have few readers. The girls they got in binkinis were all fat (litterally fat) and had veiny legs and bad skin. It was as if someone played a cruel joke on us all. I was waiting for some radio DJ to come out and punk us all or something.
We wanted to live a little early and beat the rush. It worked out great cause the train left early anyway. While for tickets (we were to dim to buy round trip tickets) in line there was a random drunk fat British guy.
"You, like Ben Stiller! Ben Stiller is a cunt!" --British Guy
"Um..." Me
"Doesn''t he always play a cunt! You look like him you must be a cunt!"
"I don't really um..."
He kept calling me a cunt about 10 more times.
Than he turned to a guy behind him in line and told him he F****d his mother in Liverpool. Than he banged his dad later. The guy behind him had no idea who he was.
I was so much funnier since he had a British accent, he reminded me of the sidekick in Shaun of the Dead.
The train ride home rivaled that of the "Fools on a Train" story. First off there was a drunk guy that almost fell over in Rick's lap before vomiting all over himself and retreating to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet with the door open. The odd thing is he seemed to be by himself, no one had any idea who he was or where he had to get off.
Meanwhile the front of the train had some older people. For some reason (price seemed to know why) they kept shouting JIMMY!!!!!!
AT this point we were mingling with a few different groups and we all were puzzled by this but got a real kick out of it. So, we all started yelling back.
"JIMMY!!!!!!!"
Than they would yell back.
"Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!"
No idea who Jimmy was, or why we were so amused doing this. But, it went on for about another 30mins. As each group of dudes (mainly) got off the train they would pound on my window and yell.
"Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anyway the drunk dude eventually got off. Although I am fairly sure he crapped his pants before doing so. SOMEONE on the train certainly did. It was just an awful foul stench.
We got back to our neck of the woods at 11:30 ish which was perfect because we decided to hit up Harpers. All and all it really lived up to my expectations and anyone that didn't go really missed out on a good time.
Harpers was fun Allen and a bunch of our other friends were up there. I even got some cute 21 year old Irish chick's number. But that my friends is another entry all together. Tune in next time SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
"Going the Distance...Going for Speeeeeeed!"
So, it spring again and people are talking about being in shape and living healthy and all that crap. Lots of my co-workers join a gym called riverwinds near my work, because of the town I work in we get discounted memberships. It is supposed to be awesome they have a pool with a slide, lots of places to run, a steam a room and tons of weights to work out with. But, I realized since its in the other direction of my apartment, I would never go. SO, I would not join and not throw money down the toliet.
What could I do? Well my apartment is has a small gym, which has just what I need a bike, a treadmill, because I just want to run and feel like I am more active than I currently am. I know most people like to lift weights and thats the cool thing to do, but the thing with weights is that they are really heavy. Running is also nice and cheap, and I get to be outdoors during most of the year if I commit to it.
Problem is with my gym is the only open in while the office is open. The office closes at 6pm sharp each night. I am lucky if I get home at 5:30, but its usually closer to 6pm. So, there goes that. Now they have been telling me since November that they are getting cameras in there and it will eventually be open late, but I am starting to think that they are just messing with me. Since, you know it is Spring time.
A few Saturdays ago, I was able to get into the Gym and actually did some running. I actually felt great the next day like I did something good for my body for once, instead of trying to drown my organs with beer. Now that we haven extra hour and thanks to global warming with 70 degree weather in March, it was perfect time to start running this SUnday! Well not really, because Saturday I went to a Beerfestival, but more on that later. To be honest a few summers ago, I did run 3 times a week for about two months or so more. I started to see results finally.
I went to run at a the tire park (although there are no tires there anymore making people who didn't live here before 1999 look at me like I am Space Alien when I refer to it as that) and thought to myself. 3 times around the park Keith...er Tucker. Okay, I ran like 50 % of the time and walk the other 50%. Yeah, just starting out right?
Yesterday, I took the day off. Tonight, though I truely had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I was invited by the guys at work to go to a happy hour, followed by Rick who was going to the Tank for dinner and a few brews, than by Price who was going to the Stone Grill with a friend I hadnt seen in years, than by Ed who was hitting up Harpers with "HeadCase". I turned all four chances down in order to run.
Oh, yeah I was going to do this!
I started running, and thought to myself a few things.
1. What the hell am I going to do with my car keys? I can't leave them in my car right? In my pants they just weigh me down and annoy me. If I clinch them in my hand, I look less like I am jogging and more like I am fleeing a crime scene.
2. Why are my pants I bought for running years ago big on me now? After years of not running? Maybe bending elbows is a much better way to stay in shape.
3. Damn that cute Italian Girl in front of me has a nice butt.
4. I wonder what drink special is at Harpers tonight!
5. God I am out of shape
6. Of course I kept playing rocky music in my head and a few choice quotes.
So yeah, again I had to stop a few times because of being totally out of breath and wishing I was basically dead. All the while the cutie italian girl was zipping around the park again and again. At this point I started to question the whole "get in shape thing" is this really time better spend than sitting at happy hour? or on my couch watching tv?
I had to dig deep to get around 3 times(I don't even want to know what short distance that actually is), and the third try was more walking and looking around than actually running. But, me blowing off happy hour was a step in the right direction right?
Than again I would have to do this 3 times a week to see any kinds of results and that really takes dedication. Would it be better to just wait till after the 1st heart attack? I mean if anything I am skinny for my height, I am certainly not heavy.
Damn my legs hurt.
Okay readers! How long does everyone give me before I throw in the towel?
What could I do? Well my apartment is has a small gym, which has just what I need a bike, a treadmill, because I just want to run and feel like I am more active than I currently am. I know most people like to lift weights and thats the cool thing to do, but the thing with weights is that they are really heavy. Running is also nice and cheap, and I get to be outdoors during most of the year if I commit to it.
Problem is with my gym is the only open in while the office is open. The office closes at 6pm sharp each night. I am lucky if I get home at 5:30, but its usually closer to 6pm. So, there goes that. Now they have been telling me since November that they are getting cameras in there and it will eventually be open late, but I am starting to think that they are just messing with me. Since, you know it is Spring time.
A few Saturdays ago, I was able to get into the Gym and actually did some running. I actually felt great the next day like I did something good for my body for once, instead of trying to drown my organs with beer. Now that we haven extra hour and thanks to global warming with 70 degree weather in March, it was perfect time to start running this SUnday! Well not really, because Saturday I went to a Beerfestival, but more on that later. To be honest a few summers ago, I did run 3 times a week for about two months or so more. I started to see results finally.
I went to run at a the tire park (although there are no tires there anymore making people who didn't live here before 1999 look at me like I am Space Alien when I refer to it as that) and thought to myself. 3 times around the park Keith...er Tucker. Okay, I ran like 50 % of the time and walk the other 50%. Yeah, just starting out right?
Yesterday, I took the day off. Tonight, though I truely had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I was invited by the guys at work to go to a happy hour, followed by Rick who was going to the Tank for dinner and a few brews, than by Price who was going to the Stone Grill with a friend I hadnt seen in years, than by Ed who was hitting up Harpers with "HeadCase". I turned all four chances down in order to run.
Oh, yeah I was going to do this!
I started running, and thought to myself a few things.
1. What the hell am I going to do with my car keys? I can't leave them in my car right? In my pants they just weigh me down and annoy me. If I clinch them in my hand, I look less like I am jogging and more like I am fleeing a crime scene.
2. Why are my pants I bought for running years ago big on me now? After years of not running? Maybe bending elbows is a much better way to stay in shape.
3. Damn that cute Italian Girl in front of me has a nice butt.
4. I wonder what drink special is at Harpers tonight!
5. God I am out of shape
6. Of course I kept playing rocky music in my head and a few choice quotes.
So yeah, again I had to stop a few times because of being totally out of breath and wishing I was basically dead. All the while the cutie italian girl was zipping around the park again and again. At this point I started to question the whole "get in shape thing" is this really time better spend than sitting at happy hour? or on my couch watching tv?
I had to dig deep to get around 3 times(I don't even want to know what short distance that actually is), and the third try was more walking and looking around than actually running. But, me blowing off happy hour was a step in the right direction right?
Than again I would have to do this 3 times a week to see any kinds of results and that really takes dedication. Would it be better to just wait till after the 1st heart attack? I mean if anything I am skinny for my height, I am certainly not heavy.
Damn my legs hurt.
Okay readers! How long does everyone give me before I throw in the towel?
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