"NJ Sucks;Philly Smokes"

This guy sure thinks so,. Also it appears the Philly smoking ban may not be done deal after all. Of course by the time you read this it might be a moot point.

"Summer Movie File 202: The Longest Yard"

It's fitting that Adam Sandler's movies usually are released in the summer. Because, they generally have the same feeling of just chilling out on a lazy summer afternoon. Sandler's latest effort is a remake of the 1970's flick the Longest Yard. The film tells the tale of football showdown between the prisoners and prison guards. Sandler, plays an ex-quarter back NFL star. One has to get past the absurdity of casting Sandler in such a role, and just accept it for a comic vehicle the better. The film seems closer to 50 first dates or Anger Mangement( the same director as both ) in its slightly darker tone than his earlier films like BIlly Madison.

The film actually uses violence in a more realistic way than most Sandler films. The film also deals with racial slurs and tensions which give it an unexpected edge. The actual screenplay isn't anything new. Basic under dog story, but in these kinds of comedies its the journey not the destination. Sitting back watching the actors zing one another, and cringing at the bone crushing hits and major hurts put on each other during games and practices.

The movie also co-stars fellow SNL alumni Chris Rock. Rock has yet to have a run away hit with a leading role. Fresh off the god-awful Head of State which he also wrote and directed. Rock does what he does best, walks around and tells jokes. In fact his character is likely purposely uninvolved in any of the football scenes, so he can spew off his new material. He basically walks around during stand up comedy in the movie. Just playing himself, as if he took a wrong turn the stage at one of his performances and wondered on to the movie set. Rock hasn't played an actual character since New Jack City.


Regardless, the movie exists to make you route for people and the everyman Sandler. I guess it worked since people were cheering during "the big game" at the showing I went to. Lots of the Sandler regulars are MIA, but the guy who looks like col. sanders and cloris leachman who stared with Sandler in Spanglish provide the "random Sandler" humor. Burt Reynolds also appears who was in the original one. It's more a less a throw away role which might disappoint fans of the original.

Sandler's career is certainly at interesting point. Almost as if he is playing the field after getting rave reviews playing parts in deeper films such as Punch Drunk Love and Spanglish. Showing off a better range. Regardless, Sandler is one of the few comic actors that is almost always worth spending your time with.

"Bad Joke of The Week"

It's that time of the week boys and girls.




What do snake charmers do in the rain?
Turn on their windshield vipers.

"Devil of a Time in Newark"

So if the NHL ever rises from it's ashses the New Jersey Devils will head a tad south. To Newark, leaving the swamps of the medow lands behind. An assemblymen in NJ, would like them to leave their "Demonic" name there too. He would like them to change it, the owners of the hockey team are saying fat chance.

Judging by his quote the politican is getting the Jersey Devil confused with the fallen angel from the bible. The Devils aren't named after satan himself, but after the Jersey Devil. Of course imagine people across the country who likely never heard fo the demonic creature that roams the pine barrens might be a bit confused. Perhaps they think its just named after the people who run the state.

Anyway, hopefully they keep their name. I always thought the Carolina Hurricanes was a much more morbid name. Think about it, lets name our team after the weather elimate that casues constant death and destuction to our state! At least the Jersey Devil hasn't been confirmed to kill anyone. Would anyone like me to blog about the legend?

Anyway go read this at ESPN.

"Tucker's Drunk Friends"

It seems that I am cursed with drawling the drunk wierdo people to me when I go out with my friends.


Just last night, some old guy up at Sharkey's kept asking me if I thought he could kick the ass of rather large man sitting on the other side of the bar. THe rather large man was a guy I went to High School with, and he is roughly the size of Camden County.

Later that night he drunkenly came over to his arm around Jason and me and slurred his words and went on about the three of us trying to take on the large man. Thankfully his wife or whoever she was made him leave.


Later that night a guy came up to me and put his arms all around me asking if I used to drive a blue escort. I did for a few years back in highschool and my first semester of college. Now I had no idea who this guy was, but he clearly knew me. Apperently, he graduated a year after me at the same school. He either always wanted to kick my ass, or wanted me in gay. Judging by the way he drapped his drunken arms on me. Akwardly embracing me.


A few years back Steve and I were at the Wick on THanksgiving. Wow, that sounds really sad when I type it. Anyway I had to break the seal so I went to the restroom. There was a dude already in there pissing in the urnial next to the one that I would use. Steve came in, because I guess he had to go to. I saw him come in the door and since it was a small bathroom.

I said" THeres no room"

Now this really bugged out the stranger pissing next to me. You would have thought I had just told him how he was going to die. He started bugging out.

"What man?!?!" No room?"

When Steve got in there. THe guy told him "Your friend is wierd man"


We left that place, and he was just looking at me saying. What do you mean no room?


Oh, Liza, her friend Megan and boyfriend were at Barons one night. This guy sat next to me, and kept telling me how he was going to go out and dance. He also kept asking if Liza and Megan "hated" him. LIkely because, they didnt want to make eye contact. THen he moved over adn sat net to me and shook my hand. Most of what he was saying was unable to be understood any sober person.


Also, this large 6 foot rabbit named Harvey that follows me all around town...

"Philly Bans Smoking"

Its offical, well really a matter of time till it kicks in. Check it out.


Oh, sorry about the missing joke of the week. Look for a double header this hoilday weekend! I just crashed the night that I usually post that. Also, is anyone else sick of this weather? Its rained everyday since SUnday. This is what I like to call Dan K weather. Wet, Dark, Windy, Cold. He has told me several times its his ideal weather.




Note: this post was supposed to be here on Thursday. Did anyone actually see it?

"Mid-June or Bust?"

Could the NHL's 2005-06 season's fate lie in the next few weeks? Perhaps according to ESPN, from what Bettman is saying.

"Swimming with Sharks"

The Camden aquarium has gone EXTREME. Check it out. I dare Mosco to swim with the sharks when he returns.

"Summer Movie Files: 201--- Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

The final installment (production wise) of the Star Wars saga hit theaters this weekend. Now I didn't hold the first two prequel in the same regard as the original trilogy. In fact I thought Phantom was pretty bad, and Attack of the Clones although an improvement was far below the quality of the original films. Mainly, I felt the heart, characters, dialogue and the special effects were a huge let down. Even more importantly they were just entertaining while the others got emotionally involved in the story and lives of what a appeared on the screen.

Revenge of the Sith is hard to compare with the other films, because the tone is different. Its more a tragic tale than uplifting adventure. The story has few surprises, but sheds light on how Darth Vader came to be. So, its sort of hard to route for the hero of the first two films anymore, considering he is about to become a ruthless killer.

Revenge of the Sith gets off on shaky foot. With General Grievous, a character apparently fleshed out in the 30 minute cartoon released in between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. That was supposed to fill in some events. I understand he is hurt in a battle, and that is why he coughs. This is never explained in the film. So, the entire time I just figured in a Galaxy Far, Far Away, that there was also a shortage of flu shots once. He also is up there with Darth Mull as must over-hyped villains. I just think it doesn't really fit when everyone jumps all around and bounces off stuff like pinballs, then in the future the original series they fight a lot more like regular humans.

It's when action sequence to start the film ends that the film hits the ground running. Revenge of the Sith is good enough to make you ALMOST forgive Phantom Menace, and it better film than Attack of the Clones. We get to see "the chosen one" being pulled in both directions. Good or evil. It makes you appreciate attack of the clones a little more after seeing this.

The film pacts an emotional wallop. Although Empire Strikes Back was a dark film, Revenge of the Sith is filled with even more sadness. The other two films were just mindless entertainment. This story is actually involving.

We know there are only two Jedis by Star Wars, so expect some major violence. Hence the PG-13 rating.

The movie will never take up the same place in my heart that the original trilogy does. However, regardless its a great film, and lived up to its expectations in my book. The acting is an improvement, and yeah the love story is still forced, but it all comes full circle. I respect how the film didn't pull any punches. Although, the killing off an important character was pretty hooky.

The film lead up to the original quite nicely. In fact today like many I am sure I went and popped in the DVD of Star Wars. Yes, I refuse to call it a new hope.

Despite a few flaws, there is a lot of the film that stayed with me over a day after I saw the film. Which is always a good sign. They really bounced back with this one. Oh, and I find it odd after what Drew said. Since more than half the theater was clapping at the end of the film. I can't imagine everyone loathed the film at his screening and clapped at the one I went to.

"50 Million and Counting"

The new Star Wars flick is making insane money. Friday the film made 50 million bucks already. On a related note I will be seeing the film this weekend. That will bring back the Summer Movie Files reviews. Drew saw it already, and said it was awful. That everyone in the entire theater loathed the film and wanted to blow their brains out in the parking lot.

"Death of TV shows"

While the sweeps wars are going on for the major networks they are also releasing their fall line ups for the 05-06 season. Some notable shows are getting axed.

ABC: My Wife and Kids (dont care), 8 Simple Rules (lasted almost two full seasons after the star John Ritter died), Eyes (poor Tim Daly).

CBS Listen up (Jason Alexander's sitcom which was far funnier than Yes, Dear!, which was renewed oddly after being on haitus almost all season), Joan of Arcadia (never watched it), and of course Everybody Love Raymond was retired. Two and a Half Men will slide into their time slot.

NBC: The New Law and Order Show, and Relvations.

WB: Cancelled Jack and Bobby, which was a shame since it was really good show. They lost me as a viewer when the flipped to Wednesday Nights though. IT was very interesting and politically motivated.


...and at the last minute FOX which should release their lineup soon. Dediced to renew Arrested Development.

"Gaming Wars"

All 3 major game systems are going to release their newest editions by the end of 2006. The following is cut and pasted from a USA today article by a certain rather lazy blogger that should remain nameless.


The players are in place for the next video game battle of the big guns.
Nintendo reveals details Tuesday of its new system, code-named Revolution, after Sony's announcement of the PlayStation 3 console Monday and Microsoft's unveiling of Xbox 360 on an MTV special last Thursday.

All the action is taking place before the annual E3 Expo, which begins Wednesday. The three gaming giants will unveil the systems there.

Microsoft is expected to have the Xbox 360 in stores first, in time for the holidays. Nintendo and Sony will follow in 2006. No prices have been set, and release dates have not been locked in.
Nintendo, whose GameCube sales have lagged, hopes to gain ground, particularly among the fast-growing older-gaming market. Revolution is about the size of a stack of three DVD cases and has no visible knobs, buttons or ports for joysticks. The system will use only wireless controllers, and it sits flat or stands vertically.


With its front-loading slot for discs, it will play games on full-size DVDs as well as older GameCube games on mini-DVDs. Like Xbox and PlayStation 2, it will play DVD movies.
Nintendo, which mostly ignored the Net with GameCube, also is catching up with the online wave. Revolution will offer broadband access to a free Internet-based player matching service, similar to Xbox Live, that also will have downloadable versions of nearly every Nintendo game - from arcade classic Donkey Kong through current titles such as Mario Sunshine. (Nintendo hasn't decided whether downloading will be free.)
Xbox spokesmen have pointed out that 360's specifications are 10 to 13 times more powerful than those of the original Xbox; Sony said Monday that the processor in Play-Station 3, which will come in several colors and be out next spring, will be 35 times more powerful than the PS2 processor.

Nintendo makes more modest claims that Revolution is two or three times more powerful than GameCube. "It's not all about having 'turbo power,' " Nintendo's Perrin Kaplan says. "It's about what you do with it."

Analyst Richard Doherty of The Envisioneering Group says one of Revolution's chief advantages is that designers will find it far easier to create games for Revolution than for competing systems. "They do not need to make major changes from the games they were designing," he says. "They have better performance without having to do a lot of extra work."


Says Kaplan: "We've built Revolution around the concept of 'all-access gaming,' " a term Nintendo uses to mean the system is easily adapted to by both gamers and designers. "We're about sticking to the soul of gaming."

"Bad Joke"

Fitting I thought.


Where do Sith Lords shop?
At Darth Mall.

"Box Office Big Boys"

Came across this reading Roger Ebert's review of Kicking and Screaming. Thought it was pretty intresting. Enjoy.




"Will Ferrell is now a major movie star, with nine more new movies in the pipeline. I learn of his status from the industry analyst David Poland, who has crunched the numbers and come up with the "real" list of box office heavyweights. He says top 10 stars in terms of actual ticket sales are, in order: Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell and Denzel Washington. The highest-ranking woman on the list is Reese Witherspoon, at No. 12."

"Flag on the Play at Echelon"

Well it would seem the zoning laws that were pushed through last fall to get the ball rolling to build a free standing Wal-Mart to bring the Echelon Mall back from the dead weren't pushed through after all. A few weeks ago it was learned that some legal jurkon lead to realization that the approval of the zoning was actually void. It was never legal to begin with.

So, PREIT has been dealt a major set back. Now they have to get the entire zoning approved before they can even get to the stage they were at earlier this spring. Eventually, they could just tell the good people to pound sand. Or in the words of a former manager of mine during my retail days.

"Suck off, and Die!"


Here is an article from Monday's Courier post.

"Flag on the Play at Echelon"

Well it would seem the zoning laws that were pushed through last fall to get the ball rolling to build a free standing Wal-Mart to bring the Echelon Mall back from the dead weren't pushed through after all. A few weeks ago it was learned that some legal jurkon lead to realization that the approval of the zoning was actually void. It was never legal to begin with.

So, PREIT has been dealt a major set back. Now they have to get the entire zoning approved before they can even get to the stage they were at earlier this spring. Eventually, they could just tell the good people to pound sand. Or in the words of a former manager of mine during my retail days.

"Suck off, and Die!"


Here is an article from Monday's Courier post.

"Bad Joke of THE week"

It's time for the BAD JOKE OF THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!


::::cheering:::::


What did the Alien say to the Gardner?

Take me to your weeder.

"Sleep"

I am getting ready to go to bed. Nothing beats that one moment when you first climb into bed for the night. A whole night of sleep in front of you. Just getting ready to be out like a light. Wrap yourself up in your covers and shut your brain off. After 25 years, its still on of my favorite things to do.

"Summer Movie Wasteland"

It would seem that Hollywood is going to be on auto pilot this summer. MOst the movies coming out are remakes, sequels, or lame attempts to cash in on old TV shows.


First off we have the Honeymooners coming out with Hollywood felt needed to be "urbanized" so they cast Cedric the Enterainer in the Jackie Gleason part. This might pissed people off casting black people as white people. I guess people have a point I don't see Eugene Levy playing Shaft anytime soon. I am more pissed that Cedric the Entertainer who I think is funny, is being so lame in the films he picks. I watched his show both weeks it was on before it got cancelled, why not write your own funny characters? Instead of trying to cash in on comedy legend's character from 5 decades ago? How very lame.

Second, we have a Bewitched movie with Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrall, which a really idotic premise. Don't forget the Batman movie where we learn the start of the legend. Anyone that actually read the comic in their life is tired of hearing this story. The entire concept was summed up in a few scenes in Tim Burton's 1989 film. Not to mention its a mostly british cast with a british director. Next years SUperman film is being filmed in Australia, are we out sourcing our super heros too?

The House of Wax looks like a lame slasher flick which stole the name from a Vincent Price classic. With Paris Hilton no less. I am told that theaters cheered when she got ofted. Throw in Speilberg air lifting the War of the Worlds to make it his own. TIm Burton remaking Willy WOnka, and a Star Wars pre-quel. No one had a original idea this summer?


Supposedly 8 horror movies are being released, and I saw a few trailers for other fantasy films that visually look like they just want to be the Next Harry Potter.

Oh yeah and Peter Jackson remade King Kong. Altough I am not sure if thats still coming out this summer.


I am looking forward to the Star Wars film. THe only other two is the Bill Murray flick broken flowers in August, and the Euguene Levy/Samuel L Jackson teaming "The Man" due out labor day weekend.


Maybe I am just being negative, but it looks pretty bad right now.

"Be Back Soon"

Sorry for the lack of updates. Be back later this weekend with a few. So, keep checking back!