“24 Hours to Go”


Well I am roughly 24 hours before I walk out of the Sears Outlet and become a former employee. It will certainly be strange, and it was to a certain extent a daring move. The job I landed is far from a home run that will likely provide me with the finances that can bring me to where I want to be independently however its much more money than I was making and I plan to use the job as means to get into a more appealing department or to assist me in landing a more desirable job.

This new job that I have landed very well could end up on the same list as Dan K’s bus boy job, Drew’s Strawbridge’s career, or Duke’s paint selling days however I had to leave Sears before I lost my sanity. I did manage to make some friends there and the job did serve its needs when I was in school. However I have become more and more disgruntled with their horrendous way the superiors treat their employees. I could list every example however I fear I would crash my blog and although it would bring joy to certain readers I am not yet ready to retire from the blog thing just yet.

As much as I hated “The dungeon” as I refer to it as its undeniable that it will be strange walking out the automatic doors that rarely work properly for the last time tomorrow evening. That job dates back to my Camden County College days. Its where I had to work hung over or with literally no sleep many nights after New Brunswick parties or returning from Brigantine. Its where I witnessed the horrific events of 9/11 live on a big screen television. My employment there was the duration of most people’s college career’s and I started there months before Jenna who went through 3 boyfriends (still on the third) and several returns to the gloomy warehouse. Several people came and went, and that place was one of the main constants in my life for over half of a decade.

Here is a random list of my most memorable Sears moments.


The time a temp service was hired to employ our store, because no one wanted to work there. This resulted in various ex-convicts working as merchandise handlers. Many of them did time in prison for various crimes mostly assault related. One man that worked one day was seemingly homeless with a gaunt look and unwashed long hair and beard. I was told to try to stop customers from seeing him. His job was to clean the store, but he ended up watching television for most of his shift as if it was a new invention.


Jenna and her romances through the years including a date with a guy named Tobin who she claimed was the dullest date that ever took her out.

This guy I worked with Dan who would get a reward for one of the sleaziest people I ever met. He actually was the boss of the receiving department for awhile. He did almost no work and was on the phone with his ladies most of the time or using company time to take care of personal business. When he actually did come on the floor it was only because everyone called out or to tell his co-workers about his a recent sexual conquest. Once he bragged he didn’t know her name. I met one of his girlfriends and she was dumber than the ranges I sold. He was kind enough to inform me his distain for safe sex. The few “girlfriends” he had he cheated on with various girls and they were to dumb to realize.


A guy that looked like a burn victim who had an ill wife (who recently passed away) worked there for a long time. He was older than my dad, but looked like a lizard. Although he was generally a nice guy I really didn’t want to hear how horny he got since his wife could not longer have sex. Nor did I want to hear what he wanted to do with any woman that came into the store under 30. 5 days a week several times a day he would tell me how horny he was and that he could go for hours with young woman and amaze them. He was faithful to his wife so didn’t bend anyone over a washer while he worked there, however he was under the impression that they all wanted him to give it to them good.


Good old Ed who occasionally writes for Tucker’s World. How could I forget this guy? The lanky dry humored Ed lurked around the refrigerators at Sears for quite some time. Eventually we became friends and enjoyed hiding in the refrigerators together. Ed became increasingly more interested in the Crew and I told him stories about the crew as if our lives were interesting. Ed hung on my every word as if I was reading him prolific ancient literature.


Good Old Tom who had the best job in the world sitting in the back of the store signing out merchandise. Most time he would read his Maxium, newspaper I gave him, or paint little alien figures. They decided to make him in sales and merchandise handling and dick with his hours, and one day they caught him sleeping and that was the end of his Sears days.


This guy Myron who worked there once offered to buy the hooker if paid for the hotel room.


Joe Trevi, the best boss I ever had. He hated Sears and the policies more than I did (do). He smoked a cigarette almost every 15 minutes and constantly cursed on the sales floor. He also often made penis jokes that were quite funny.

The crime wave of corrupt employees, who stole from the cash drawer, stole merchandise, sold merchandise under the table, and drank or did drugs while on the job. Way too many people to recall that would be able to be squeezed onto this list.

The time Jenna’s customer sent her a letter to her house despite her not giving out her address.

Dave Breen. I will leave that open to former Sears Outlet employees that read this blog. I am sure you all have your favorite memory of this unique cat.

All the customers that I wanted to punch.