Friday, January 03, 2003

“Man of the Year”

Okay to recap the person of the year has had the most impact. Oh if you have not been reading in awhile scroll down to the story of the year and you can vote! Email me at Mst3keith@aol.com . The votes came flying in for awhile. But I have not heard from all my readers yet.

The Tucker’s World Man of the Year is Milton Ryan Peiffer. The man who became the leader of the crew after making certain Starview continued the policy of giving us French fires with the chicken tenders.

As the leader, Ryan would often organize events by calling everyone and coming up with ideas for us to do. He also broke up with his girlfriend over the summer, and despite the fact that he wanted to get back with her the very next day he didn’t bother to try for about 3 months.

He lead with passion and even networked us to various hot girls. Okay a few hot girls. He threw a kegger at his house that brought together lots of dudes. We all laughed how Ryan was carefree and single again. However, because we were happy we didn’t realize Ryan’s secret turmoil. I did not even notice he was depressed until August and most friends still did not notice. He did get some flack towards the end from Lima Beanz mostly. The time we decided to go the shore bars (usually a rockin’ good time) and ended up in going to the boardwalk in the pouring rain (despite never going there during the 30 perfect weather days of the summer)was a low point. It ended with us sitting in house we had to be out of by like 12:30.

He had confined in Jenna and various other girls including Noel (CALL HER UP!) about his secret pain. He simply could not lead anymore. At the end of the summer, he resigned and dedicated himself to his 5th year of college and winning his girlfriend back.

It took him about 14 minutes to get her back so….wasn’t all that hard. Things were going well despite not having a leader, because everyone was busy anyway. However, trouble arose when the relationship between his girlfriend and certain crew members hit a snag. Perhaps he is better off. I bet his lungs are pinker than mine.

He still hangs out with us a few times a month (not including the occasional obligatory late night cameo) and when he is not there everyone is shrugging and asking, “Where’s Ryan?”

He even started up two new bands. Aside from Fast Forward he had not been in a band since he left Big Fantastic (due to increasing fame and attention from girls). The Bogg Mummies (sp?) a big bandish type of music re-teamed him with Chris Arter and his girlfriend. TRAP reunited him with Rich Arter, but neither band ever plays anywhere that I know of.

Poor Ryan has gone through some tough times with his girlfriend but always manages to work things out. His efforts to balance time between a girl who loves him dearly and a bunch of losers guys (and one girl) will likely be debated all through 2003.


“Rumor Mill”



Well the Flyers will finish their road trip this weekend. They are playing about .500 hockey but at the same time their special teams are still among the league’s worst. They also continue to struggle to score goals, unless Jamie Storr is in net. Meanwhile they lost Simon Gagne (for awhile) and Marcus Ragnarsson got hurt and sent back to Philly. They added winger Tomi Kallio who the plucked off the waiver wire from the Bluejackets. He played for Atlanta and was just seems like some one who can add some muscle and kill penalties. He seems eager to make an impact an scored a goal already. Could he be the Donald Brasher of the 2002-03 season?

Keith Primeau netted his 9th against the Kings, by far the most emotional game of the trip. However, he recently got a lashing from Clarke that of course the media picked up on. Clarke finally has admitted he is in the market for people that can put the puck in the net. He claims there isn’t much out there right now. Obviously, you will have to give up something to get something. The underachieving captain might as well where a target on his chest.

I am not sure what Clarkie will get for good old keith, but I don’t expect Prims to be with the Flyers at the end of the month. If I know Clarke will likely get someone well over the age of 30, and teach him how to dump and chase. It doesn’t matter who we get it seems we can turn the NHL’s most finesse players into zombies who makes plays a peewee opponent could easily read.

Tuesday, December 31, 2002



“ Story of the Year”


Okay most major cable networks and media outlets are reflecting on the year that was. Enron, Iraq, the Olympics scandal, that lord of the rings sequel, Trent Lott, Michael Jackson being all strange, and of course Martha Stewart. Well I am not big enough to cover all those thing in depths so why not let my readers vote on the story of the year from a list based solely on the social aspects of my meaningless life.

Sure, its shallow but who cares? Okay many reading this don’t even know that some of this stuff happened or weren’t impacted but you can still vote on the story that SEEMS the biggest. Keep in mind the story has to have had the greatest impact on the crew, the most biggest story that effected the natural order of things the most. Just send in your vote to Mst3keith@aol.com be sure to put Tucker’s World in the subject so I don’t think that its spam and delete it. Remember these are impact stories, not amusing ones like the Brant and Dan K. stories.

A.
Jenna decides to come back to South Jersey after getting her degree. Eventually she ends up back in her old job at the Sears Retail Outlet much to many drooling associates delight. Her return changes the crew into a co-ed collection because of her constant presence. She does make an impact cleaning up after us, and cooking us food. She also gives us insights when we seek advice on females even if its just to call her a word rhyming with hunt. Anyway its like she never left, but she certainly did change the social order in the crew and mixed things up. Drew thinks the will be the death of the crew.

B.
Superman and Lois Lane, Kermit and Miss Piggy, Ben and J. Lo., Cousin Balki and Mary-Ann all famous couples. But what about Jay and Jenna? These two love birds have been crazy about each other since cell phones were the size of Rick’s cock. The minute Jenna came back we all made predictions on when these two crazy kids would end up in each others arms. Of course they did, than they didn’t, than they did again, than she said she would never touch him again, than she did. Basically they have been on and again off again to point of annoyance. Even when they are off, they seem like they are on. Jenna did see other people while Jay um…….well Jay sat around and farted a lot. ? After dating more guys than the average attendance at Phillies game at last minute Jenna decides to get in a exclusive relationship with Jay. Has love truly blossomed or was it a stunt to get make this a stronger candidate for story of the year?

C. Bored one day Ryan and I decide we need a nickname for one of our friends. We had been calling Jay Sparkey for awhile but it didn’t pan out despite girls enjoying it. I want to name him Boogie like Mickey Rourke in Diner, but we end up calling him Lima Beanz. That’s right with a Z. We even make up a story about how he carried lima beans around when he was a kid for almost no good reason. The name caught on. He also answers to Beanzie, and LB.


D. After losing a year of his life due to massive DVD debts and greasy unhealthy New Brunswick food Drew finally makes it law school. Not only does he make it (I bet against him) he makes it through his first semester. He also makes friend and stars in a play no one sees or cares about. He also reveals that he ISNT gay.

E. Ryan admits that cupid (isn’t his corpse still rotting in Rick’s closet?) has struck him in the previously non-existent heart. Much to our surprise he in a serious relationship with a girl he met at Rowan. She is a cool whacky little chick and kind of cute so he did okay. However things go sour and crew girlfriend approval rating plummets after some controversial incidents. They would have nothing to do with and idiot blogger who has the tendency to run his mouth. NOTHING..okay maybe a little something. Damn Drew. Anyway this relationship has been the round table discussion many a night, some people think he is kept from his friends too much, others think that’s the natural course of things. Ryan’s own mother even takes a shot at the poor guy. A lot of drama has come out of this relationship and a lot of debate.



Other considerations include me actually finishing college, Dan K moving to Mainstreet, Rick and his new love interest, my jealous rage over Duke getting with one of Alyssa’s friends, everyone but me and jenna getting new cars. Jenna breaking up with Arron.

Email me at MST3keith@aol.com you have one week to get your vote in.
HAPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR!