“Too Many People”


Driving down Somerdale Road towards, the Deptford area (formerly my Rowan drive) more trees lay in ruins flattened and ready for more people to move in. A common sight in South Jersey these days. More and more people are moving to the area and want their house build the way they like.

In addition, South Jersey seemingly wants to see how many drugstores that can erect in an insanely small amount of space. We have enough drugstores to medicate a small country in one county. Sometimes we have an intersection with rival drugstores squaring off on opposite sides.

Everywhere you look…there is either a new home being build or sign simply saying sold signaling the future site of yet another house. Some towns have suffered horribly from Growing Pains, such as Washington Township who’s population has nearly doubled in the past decade. The suburban sprawl as it has come to be known is also responsible for horrible traffic in South Jersey. Some new towns don’t even enough city workers to take care of their town. Various streams dried up in the past few years because of constant construction (and dumping) in the last few years. Not to mention since many things are paved over its harder for rain to sink into the ground (which added to last summers drought).

Take a look at Sterling and how many more kids are going there than when were students. More and more intersections are requiring traffic lights around here, and while it’s a good thing safety wise it is just another indication of how many cars we have zooming around.

When Ken Hitchock returned to Philly to coach the Flyers, he couldn’t even figure out where he was in Voorhees. You can’t really blame him, because the white horse road area exploded in the past 10 years or so. Olive Garden, Fudruckers, Goodfellas, Lone Star, and the Comcast building and even the Skate Zone weren’t not around at the start of the 90’s. While its good for the economy, you have to wonder how over crowded South Jersey will become in another 10 years. Granted Camden County suffers the most, but I can’t imagine the population won’t overspill to Atlantic county and eat up more land for another cookie cutter home.

Often times when a shopping center fails it will stay there vacant mainly cause businesses see it as being a bad location. So they buy up more space destroy more trees, and sometimes purchase and destroy homes in order to mark their claim in the South Jersey businesses scene. Meanwhile the other shopping centers remain to become eyesores. The former one on the pike in Berlin comes to mind, and ones like Lions Head Plaza (in Somerdale) are in danger of sinking. I can't even remember more than one store being in the Berlin shopping center as long as I can recall. Why not destroy it and put a park there or something?

Because of the markets right now people have the advantage of the lowest mortgages in the 30 years and building a home has never been as cheap. So I can't really blame people for making the move now. Thankfully, our Governor wants to fight the sprawl and make it harder for construction to choke to death the people of South Jersey.

Some of you might be sitting here with your mouth wide open thinking that I have become a tree hugger or something , but most my readers likely have gotten bored and went back to looking at porn. But I am just sick of the over crowded streets and what used to be nice scenery being chewed up for more sheep to take up residence. There is an old saying around these parts. …Welcome to New Jersey….now get the hell OUT!

I hope everyone had fun digging out of the biggest winter storm in South Jersey in 7 years! Maybe the storm was made possible by IRAQ! Maybe Bush was behind it to drive up OIL PRICES! Maybe Micheal Jackson was behind it because he likes the color of snow, and wanted people to stop talking about his nose.

"Sleeping Jenna"

Many of my readers know my friend Jenna and have noticed lately that she sleeps a ridiculous amount of time. She sleeps through every movie we watch now, even if its in the theaters. From what I hear she slept through half of the Super Bowl. She sleeps hours away at Dukes where she spends the majority of her time (it’s Lima Beanz’s favorite place to take a date). There has to be something to this because she never slept this much before. Heck a few mere months ago she was a swinging single girl going out to South Jersey bars 5 nights a week staying out really late. If I had nothing to do I would always know that I could call up Jenna and join her for a few beers somewhere. Except for the nights where I was likely to ruin her game. Here are some theories on her sleeping disorder. Now when she isn’t at Sears she is usually somewhere sleeping. Usually on Duke’s couch….does he even live there anymore?


Theory # 1 As it turns out she IS part cat which requires her to sleep 20 hours a day. Maybe Lima Beanz had her spayed. Or something which made her become chronically tired. I doubt t his because I have not seen her licking herself since her sleeping time doubled.

Theory # 2
My experience watching the evolution of a couple I usually notice that right before the engagement stage the woman sleeps constantly. I guess preparing for how exciting marriage life must be. My sister-in-law for example would come over here (when my brother was back in the house briefly) and fall sleep with in 15 minutes. She would sleep for hours than get up and go home and sleep more. I was amazed that he had any kind of a relationship with her since she was seemingly in a coma 24/7. She even fell asleep when he would take her to the movies. She slept through Deep Impact, although it was a mediocre movie I don’t see how anyone can sleep through a film with explosions in it. Or even get comfortable in a theater chair.

Many other couples before they get engaged experience this. Usually the guy is looking all around when the girl slumps over and becomes unconscious for hours. The guy will be like…do I finish this movie? Is there something wrong with her? Should I wake her when its through? Sometimes if you are really deep into a relationship and want to see her awake..put on the Golden Girls. For whatever reason lots of couples (long term ones) love this show….or should I say the girl loves it. However, once all the next show comes on the girl will immediately fall asleep again.

Maybe its Jenna’s body telling her that Jay is “The One” . Its time for Lima Beanz to start ring shopping, and I happen to know a cozy little place in Hi-Nella perfect for their Honeymoon. If you pay extra you can have a bearded law student included. Many crew members have penciled this December when Lima Beanz will fall to his knees and pop the question.

“Next year they will be celebrating a ring” Duke.


Theory # 3
Jenna loves Lima Beanz so much that it actually hurts. In order to avoid the pain she must force herself to sleep. Just looking at him makes her overflow with love that she can’t handle it. She has sung his praises on her Blog several times. She claims he can do no wrong. Maybe she just loves too much. Last I heard she was campaigning to put his face on Mt. Rushmore.

Theory # 4
She realized how dull life is with out alcohol; Jenna who recently quit drinking all together didn’t slip into this constant state of sleepiness until after she gave up the booze. Maybe she realized how dull, mundane and meaningless her life was. Everything is better when your brain is numbed a bit. Perhaps she needs to start drinking again to get her de-lame-fied.

Theory # 5
Perhaps she dreams of a better life where she is regional manager of Sears, married to Rich Arter, and naked men randomly roam the streets. Perhaps she just wants to sleep to speed up time to her evitable death. Making her meaning less time on this hurling ball of granite seem to pass by quicker. Living in a constant dream state where she can fool herself into thinking life has an actual meaning when she knows she better off laying sprawled out motionless.


Theory # 6
Jenna has brain cancer

Theory # 7
I AM WRONG…she doesn’t sleep anymore than usual. Everything I say and do is wrong.

Theory # 8
Maybe Lima Beanz is such a manly man that he wears her out on constant basis. We all hear him brag (well 2 of us maybe) on TERMINUS about what an amazing experience it is to be with a man like him.

Theory # 9
Jenna is a pothead.

Theory # 10
Jenna is just LAME! L-A-M-E

-end-

"Thank You Loyal Readers"

A a week ago, amongst the terror warnings I asked my readers to send me who they would want be locked in with when they had to be in locked down duct (not DUCK) taped homes. I have cut and pasted all the emails that I have gotten in bettween these two lines!

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Thanks for reading Tucker's World!

“Calm Before the Storm”


What could make the top ten storms of all time in the South Jersey and Philly region might be starting a few hours after I write this. It should certainly be underway by the time most people read this. Both my readers read it anyway.

He is a run down of what the local weathermen are saying so far, or at least the few I saw

Fox: On the site I visit a lot they eluded to this storm like a week and half ago, so I trust them the most. They have been closely watching it all week. They are calling for 10-20 inches in our area.

Channel 6: They dark horse of the media calls for a mere 8-10 inches. They are often times way off though, but no one cares because of the affable Dave Roberts.

NBC 10: They agree with Fox pretty much for the 10-20

The Weather Channel website keeps breaking it down for parts of the day…so its hard to gage what they are really saying. I guess maybe 8- 12.

I learned that some random snow formed tonight that should make it start snowing before the storm even gets here. The radar showed snow just west of Philly as I write this. Granted it can pick up the slightest little mositure in the air and it might not actually hit the ground. Maybe just a lot of people are sneezing. By the way Lima Beanz is sick with the flu..really sick..that should make some of my readers who don't like him happy!

I am going to say we get 12 at best. I don’t see this one falling apart like the non-existent storm of the century a few years back. If it gets really bad keep checking back at Tucker’s World for updates and silly stuff to read. Hang on tight fellow readers and put your mittens on! I hope the roof blows off the Sears Outlet.

"Love Song"
Well I have to admit I finally got into the Valentines Day spirit this weekend. I credit a certain song that got me into the spirit, and it goes a little something like this.

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise


He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash


>From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes


They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash


The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son


The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"


They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash


Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"


It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash


Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you


Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash

You know...the Monsters were all dancing and having a good time together and enjoying each others' company!

Happy 300th Episode to the Simpsons this Sunday. Quite possibly the best show ever!

Sears Alert: Blue