Friday, January 17, 2003

“The Ghost and Christopher Arter”

Did you ever hear about things that you had to see or experience to believe? Do you ever wonder how you can hear so much about something to do with supernatural if it is not true? What you are about to read (if you choose the continue) it’s not a work of fiction that I sometimes post on here. Many of my readers thought “Hope” was a true story. It wasn’t. This is, although I don’t know if you will all think I am being straight with you.

To tell the story right let us flash back to last night when a thin layer of snow blanketed South Jersey. I drove over to my good friend Chris Arter’s (look for an upcoming feature story on him) home in Somerdale to meet up with him and Ryan. I was originally going to stay there for a short time, and than go over my girlfriends. However since I didn’t know how bad the roads were going to get, and really felt like some male bonding with my two long time friends I decided to stay in Somerdale.

It must have been literally years since the 3 of us hung out with out any outsider friends or muscular biology teachers nicknamed after a legume. The night was some of the most fun I have had in a long time sitting in the Arter basement. We sat and played Sega DreamCast tennis game for hours, while on a neighboring computer Chris downloaded pornographic video. We scarfed down Doritos and soda. This resulted in a horrifying bizarre noise coming from Ryan’s throat. All the time Chris kept suggesting to dust off the old OIJA board. I dismissed his suggestions several times. Mostly because of religious reasons.

Eventually when our thumbs grew tired and we became bored of the video game (which was actually equally as entertaining as the porn) we retired upstairs. After having to air out the house due to smoke from the fireplace I finally agreed to part take in the OIJA board part of the night of male bonding. I am pretty open minded to think that there are spirits somewhere out there. I am certainly not arrogant enough to claim to know all the answers. I think that’s part of being on Earth, not knowing the full story. If I were an Atheist, I might have killed myself a long time ago. Heck the goofy mood we were in made me think it was not going to work anyway. When I realized the box had a Parker Brothers logo on it and was recommended for children ages 8 and up, that it had to be for kids messing with each other. Okay so I will sit there like a jackass with a piece of plastic over a board.


We could not stop laughing at first( partly cause of Ryan’s throat noise), so I didn’t see it going anywhere. Eventually the piece began to move though. I thought for sure one of my friends was playing a joke on me so it was not big deal. I thought that maybe someone was just moving slightly since the piece was moving ever so slowly while Chris was asking if there was a spirit in the room. He had done before. I thought to myself am I moving it cause I am a little freaked out that it might work and we might summon up and evil spirit? Therefore, I released the piece. For a minute that seemed the case. but it still moved.

Chris asked the spirits name. It slowly picked the letters S,T,U, and at first we laughed until I realized it spelled the name Stu. Oddly, we asked other questions and we went to random letters that made no sense. At least not to us, and I was still thinking someone was pulling my leg. Until when asked when he died. The piece seemed to gain momentum and traveled to the bottom where the numbers were, and spelled a year in the 1865 (I could be off a few years.) This is when I decided to figure out which one of my friends (they both were denying it) was making the night a little more interesting. It certainly wasn’t Ryan who was barely touching it. I was only resting my fingers on it. It had to be Chris. But looking at the muscles in his hands, it didn’t seem plausible that it was just him, or the matter in which it was moving. At times Ryan’s part moved the most.

We soon realized that if we pressed harder the damn thing moved amazingly quicker. As if it took on a life of it’s own. We also realized that it could not spell so sticking to Yes and No answers were the only way we were getting anywhere. I made sure we asked if he was friendly when I really started to think something was really happening. He responded yes. Than we decided to have fun and start asking more questions, and oddly enough if the answer was Yes we would slightly move off of the word Yes, and then back on. If what we interpreted to be a big Yes the pieced would move almost to know making a big circle like b-line to Yes again.

Okay, so we figured we had a spirit’s attention (maybe anyway) we should ask him why he chose us. When we asked him who he was there to talk to we got Yes for Chris, and no for me and Ryan. WE asked him where he was from (before we started doing Yes and No) and the piece moved to the letters S,F over and over and over and over again. That was freaky. We laughed out loud a few time since we kept asking him silly questions once we believed he was from Ireland such as if he grew potatoes (YES), if he liked Irish Music (Yes), if he remembered the American Civil War (yes), if ate only potatoes (Yes, jokingly?), and if he liked Bono (no).

We decided to ask him what he knew about Chris. He told us (at least our hands) correctly picked the number of brothers Chris had. He guessed Chris was 25, which is the age of his brother. He claimed to know one of Chris’s relatives, but oddly enough he claimed he knew his grandfather which could be impossible timeline wise. He told us died of natural causes at age 56 (again I might be off a year). Eventually Chris figured his last name to be Bradley. Stu, seemed to know about Chris’s band and said although he hadn’t written the right song yet that the band would make it big in two years with Jeff as their drummer, not Drew. He also claimed to be a fan of the 90s rock band the Black Crowes.

We decided to ask him what heaven was like since he claimed to be there. He told us it was a great place where you can still interact with others, but wasn’t made up of floating clouds like many people think. He told us God was okay with him talking to us this way, and that was pretty much the only way he could communicate. We told him to say hi for us, and he said he would. He agreed that it was frustrating moving the piece, which he claimed he did with his hand. Oddly enough, he said yes when Chris asked if he had to pay to talk to us. Perhaps through good deeds? I thought it would be strange for heaven to have currency. He said he had none spoken to people this way 9 times this week. He told us that he just enjoys seeing people’s reactions, and does research on his realities from beyond. He also knew for some reason quite a bit about Chris.

He answered yes when we asked if he could see the future. He told us nothing bad would happen to us anytime soon. He however told Chris that his success with the band will not be good for him but live a good life. We asked if he knew the current condition of the world and if he was concerned. He told us the world is not on the brink and won’t end in our lifetime. He also told us that we will not go to war with Iraq or North Korea. We asked him if President Bush will become reelected, he said yes and that it was a good thing.

He knew about Chris’s brothers, and his different bands. He also talked about music he supposedly liked.

He also as it turns out is a BIG football fan, and said the Eagles will win Sunday and win the Superbowl. I don’t know how you could be a fan of sport that you always knew the outcome of, but hey.

The most tense moments came when Chris wanted to see if he could move something in the room to let us know his presence. He asked him to pick push a tissue box, but he didn’t. He asked him to pick up a glove resting on the fire place still nothing. He asked him to move a Christmas Bow. After awhile we realized that he couldn’t do that even though he agreed to try. But waiting freaked me out, because if something happened I would know for certain that someone else was in the room.

What almost sealed the deal was when we realized he was getting weak. We asked him if he wanted to go and he said yes. So the piece moved rapidly towards the words good-bye at the bottom of the board. It slid back and forth erratically (almost violently) again and again. Chris asked if we had to let go of the piece for it to end and it went to Yes quickly. He told us earlier that all 3 of us most touch it for it to move. After answering the question the piece slid to goodbye again. And went back and forth. Untill I let up and it slowed, than we all let it go.

Okay, there was a point that the piece had to been moving on its own it would seem to me. However I am not quite ready to say I know 100 % that we made “contact”. However my theories why it wasn’t a message are relatively thin. It could have been Chris fooling with us. Or perhaps one of us subconsciously was moving the piece. Which would still be a pretty cool trick. Maybe it has something to do with holding your hands in the same position at a certain angle that will make your arms involuntarily move slightly creating the illusion that the piece is moving. Perhaps the designers of the board knew this and put Yes and No at certain places for a reason. Perhaps that was just a coincidence that it was seemingly answering our questions. This would be a stretch when you apply it to the S, and F moment or the Good-bye moment. However some of the answers seemed in impossible.

Although I didn’t feel a “presence” I did feel some sort of force guiding the piece. I can’t imagine one of my friends could make it glide the way it did, but I shouldn’t rule it out. It did seem strange though that the piece would gain strength at times, and move rapidly. At times it almost went clean off the board. One of my two friends might be a really good actor if they pulled it off. I have not yet put a finger on what happened perhaps I am not supposed to understand or perhaps it is simply a fluke. It certainly is unexplainable at this point. All I know is that I will not soon forget that experience that should at the least be chalked up under the unexplained. Trust me I had serious doubts anything would happen before as ready to downplay it, but if you were there you would most likely agree with me that “something” was happening.


The more I read about these things the more I think its better to leave these old games collecting dust in basements. They sound like bad news, so don't go trying it unless you really want to experience something bizarre willing to take a risk. I think once is a enough for me, lets just say there was a Stewart Im glad he was nice. If anyone has any theories please email them to me.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

“Harry the War Horse”

If those of you that don’t know at this point a friend of Tucker’s has been sent to the middle east. I spoke with Price roughly 12 hours before his group was taken on a flight to what he figured would be somewhere in the middle east.

I don’t fear giving away government secrets or anything and I wouldn’t do that I don’t work for the New York Times. It wasn’t exactly secret since cable news network CNBC was lurking about his base for 24 hours covering the story.

Although it would seem there is a pretty good chance that the war in Iraq, has well fallen through I can’t imagine spending time in that area of the world can be all that pleasant. You never know what will happen over in Middle East, or if things will get ugly. Id imagine his crew (not the out of shape South Jersey losers) will likely have a lengthy stay in the desert since they are from what I am told well trained for that sort of thing. Their time might even be longer, since the war has been delayed more than the 5th season of the Sopranos.

Are we going to war with Iraq? I doubt it a this point. Nor am I convinced we should either. North Korea might be a bigger problem than Iraq at this point. I just hope Price is back downing beer with me safe and sound when he returns. Sorry if that sounded gay, but if anyone wants his address to write to him let me know via email.

Oh yeah, he played Harry the Horse in Guys and Dolls in a Sterling play once.


“Put a Terrorist In Your Tank”

A recent commercial campaign mocks the anti-drug campaign that launched string of commercials late last year talking about how drug money ends up in the hands of terrorists. They also mentioned that the events of September 11th were paid in part by drug users even as harmless as pot users. Several people tell the camera that they helped knock two large buildings down(I wonder if Jay has and jokes he wants to add about that) and help kill innocent people.

The new commercial campaign attacks SUVs because of their poor gas mileage. Like the anti-drug campaigns, they trace the money. From some white dude pumping his SUV, to the EVIL oil company man in a suit, and ending with an Arabic looking solider. They also have one with various others.

Here is some text from the ad.

'This is George,'' a child says in a sing-song voice. ''This is the gas that George bought for his SUV. This is the oil company executive that sold the gas that George bought for his SUV. These are the countries where the executive bought the oil, that made the gas that George bought for his SUV. And these are the terrorists who get money from those countries every time George fills up his SUV.''

Now I am trying to guess what the objective of this campaign is. Is it to get the law to crack down on what kind of mileage a car can get to the galloon? Perhaps. Is it to make us feel guilty every time we fill up the tank? Not sure. Should I try to harm Rich Arter (a SUV owner) the next time I see him for being a supporter of terrorism? Is it just using the events of Sept 11th to farther a anti-SUV campaign that has been taking place since they drove off the assembly line?

Well SUVs have always come under fire for their likeliness to flip over (comically known as rubbering up). I was hit by one once, and it almost put the Tempo in the grave. Luckily, it didn’t rubber up. People said the same things about jeeps when they first came on the market. If people want to purchase dangerous vehicles for traveling at for convenience, does it differ from Motor Cycle drivers doing the same for looking cool?


That’s not the point though I know. But what about me? Is it okay that I supposedly support terrorism just a little bit? Last time I was Mobil I didn’t see special tank for the SUV drivers. So, my money went to the same place as George’s did right? So lets say I at least bought Osma Bin Laden lunch with my money at least once or twice. What about the South Jersey residents who commute to New York City (surprisingly more than you would think) even if they don’t have SUVs. They are likely to burn more gas than a soccer mom who zips around the locally. Should we round these bastards up? Lets say two families decide to go to Washington DC to see sight see. What if they could easily fit both in two cars, but take an SUV do they burn the same amount of gas?

I guess I see where they are coming from, but I think the ads are kind of silly. Maybe the drug ones were blown out of proportion, but I certainly didn’t need 9/11 to tell me drug money supported horrible people. A drive to through Camden tells me that.

A more effective ad might have flashed actual stats. up about how much gasoline they use burn up. Or an alternative solution to natural gas. I want everyone to turn his or her heat off during the cold snap in South Jersey. DO IT!

Sunday, January 12, 2003

“More Movies”

Here are some more 2002 flicks I checked out. Man I saw A LOT more than I thought!

½ Star = BRUTAL
*=Awful
*1/2= bad
**= it was OKAY
**1/2= good
***= really good
***1/2= Put it on the top of your list.

****= AWESOME MUST SEE OF THE YEAR


Austin Powers: Gold Member
* 1/2

The franchise takes a nosedive in the third installment of the bumbling Austin Powers. What few jokes work are few and far between or rehashed from the previous two films. All the surprise cameos were cool and for the most part worked. However Austin’s love interest is lame and given nothing to do. It’s nice to see Fred Savage getting work again. However, other additions like the Goldmember himself and the return of Fat Bastard fall flat.

The story blows the shit out of the fourth wall and it makes it simply doesn’t work. Some of the film was just mind-numbling unfunny. It made me just want to watch the other two.


It was nice to see that Dr. Evil finally get his sharks with lasers. Too bad this movie franchise just jumped one.


Full Frontal

½

Good Lord. Sometimes way ahead of time I read about movies in the making, and for some reason this one really appealed to me. Sounded intriguing, and boy was I wrong! The film was a movie with in a movie with in a movie, and I had a hard time keeping track of what world was what. Plus there was a plot line about some guy putting on a play about Hitler that had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Some good jokes in the movie, and some interesting comments about the movie industry but it was wasted in an ocean of incoherence. Easily the worst movie I saw in theaters in 2002. Everyone involved with this film should have to do charity work or something. I am thinking on writing a letter to try to get my 8 dollars back, or filling a lawsuit against the Ritz. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!! DON’T GO NEAR THIS FILM EVER!

About A Boy ***


For the longest time I have been saying to people that the writer and director of the American Pie flicks could easily write a screen play without bathroom humor or Jason Biggs humping a pie. Since this film made the top ten list of many critics looks like I wasn’t out of my mind. Underneath all the sick jokes both American Pie flicks had heart, attention to friendships and relationships and I could see the potential. They seem to like to write about the transition period in a person’s life. I look forward to American Pie 3 (titled American Wedding) and what ever project they have next, since Off Centre got axed.

Never a fan of Hugh Grant (although I think I might give his work a 2nd look) or British films( although this is like an American British film), I really was surprised that I liked this one. The movie had well written characters, a good soundtrack and was quite well acted.

Hugh was good as the rich playboy. He made millions of his fathers Christmas song, collecting royalties so he could just sit on his ass literally his whole life. He dedicates his days to doing..well NOTHING. He watches movies, reads magazines, shoots pool, tries to manipulate single girls, and listens to CDs. Sounds like what I would do if I were rich.





Under Cover Brother ***

Fresh Comedy spoofing 70’s funk movies, and lampooning the differences between WHITE guys and BLACK guys. Sounds bad, but most the jokes work, and the story tells about a group of black people who fight against the man. Apparently the Man is a real person who tries to discredit black culture with inventions such as Urklee. If that isn’t evil enough he wants to thwart the first black person to actually run for president and keep the white house white.

Jokes about African American culture such as Orange soda, fried chicken, wanting to bang white chicks, afros, and getting funky are in abundance. I loved most the characters in the film, the story progressed, despite the fact the film was only about an hour, and twenty minutes it worked pacing wise.

If I told you there was a movie that had Billy Dee Williams, Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser Md), Dave Chapelle, and Denis Richards wouldn’t you want to see it? That alone is worth a rental. I might check out this Eddie Griffen fellow in other movies. I have a feeling a sequel will arrive in about two years. It could get stale like Austin Powers, but with this talented cast …”It Aint NO THANG!”


The Ring ****

I am not going to say anything about this movie for anyone who has not seen it. Lets just say it’s a damn good thriller, one of the best I have thing in a lOOOOOOng time. I knew very little about the film going into it. And neither should you. Just rent it when it comes out, and leave the phone off the hook.


Minority Report ***

Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg team up for this slick futuristic flick. Tom Cruise has to catch criminals before they commit crimes. Some freaky stuff going on this film it kind of reminded me of Blade Runner and Dark City at times.


The movie came out in a time when in the war against terror had similar patterns when some suspected terrorists were rounded up before they could commit any crimes. Some innocent and some not so innocent.

If you like a good action popcorn movie with actual depth check this one out. I didn’t even know what was what until the movie ended. I mean that in a good way. Chris Arter hated the movie though.


Star Wars: Attack of the Clones ** 1/2

Months before that strange group of sex freaks claimed to have made cloned baby, a bunch of poorly done CGI storm troopers marched across a big screen. George Lucus rebounds from the horrendous Phantom Menace, but fails to reach the level the original 3 hit.

The plot has to make us see the transition form good to evil for the kid who becomes Darth Vador. It was a tough role to play, and the kid who plays him is awful. But Lucus said he doesn’t care about the acting in his films anymore. Just likes neat effects.

The movie has some incredible sequences, such as the chase scene in the start of the film. Ewan McGregor manages to get a better handle on what his character should be like this in this film. The most talked about sequence was the Yoda which was pretty good. I mean you had to have something to make audiences to understand why people respected him too much. It came close to becoming overkill though. Now that he is computer generated his facial expressions are more advanced.

Some movie magic makes its way into this movie, and makes for fun time. Despite the sub-par acting and the at times confusing plot.

However again some of the CGI effects prove to be no better if not worse than models, miniatures and puppets used in pervious films. For example that illregular looking space ship that looked like it came right out of an X-box game and what ever the heck the kid was riding in the middle of the movie were laugh out loud embarrassing. Some one should have to balls to tell Lucus that CGI hasn’t been totally mastered yet and how horrible they looked. There were more examples of that but I cant think of it off hand.

The film was a lot better than I thought I would be, and I want to bonk Natalie Portman.

Still more to come….keep checking back…..