"Falling Down"
If anyone stayed over night at the RiteAid in Stratford last night they might have thought Jolly Old Saint Nick was a tad early. They would have been sadly mistaken.
The noise on the roof would have been that of a potential robber. Over night (tues. night I think) a man used storage crates and a ladder to scale the drive-through wall and roof. Armed with hand drill, drill bits, a ski hat, and gloves he certainly intended to dodge security cameras and alarms. Pretty clever is he intended to break in through the roof.
Perhaps he trying to get some stocking stuffers for his loved ones. Or wanted get some pills to sell to high school kids. The prefect crime you would think in and out. Well thought out. Maybe so, but he slipped and fell off the roof plummeting to his grisly death.
Police said that an employ found his corpse laying in a puddle of blood motionless on the ground. The robber cracked his head open and died instantly. They think he fell down the steal covered roof. For those of you with a dark curiousity it is right near the one hour photo sign. No one (at least at last nights Couriers' deadline) know who he is, but he is thought to be about 45 yearsold.
Girls and Diners
I never watched the Bachelor before, but from what I hear the girl that was chosen last night is from Gloucester City. This is a big mistake considering he had the option of her and a southern girl. He could have had a southern girl wait on him hand and foot, but instead he chose a girl from South Jersey.
Apparently he did not read the 2000 Census. They stated that 4 out every 5 South Jersey girl is a bitch. 3 out of ever 5 are crazy. Amazing all those hot girls and he picks a South Jersey girl. He gets what he deserves. The only girl I knew from South Jersey didn't shave her arm pits.
Meanwhile the people who own Starview Diner have purchased the former Denny’s on the White Horse Pike. Deny’s suffered when Starview opened and people had a 24-hour place to go to. Plus some consider it offensive if you live in South Jersey and choice the diner like chain over a local establishment. The people that own Starview already own the Pub in Pennsauken, Palace Diner, and Starview II.
It is not really going to be a diner, but some sort of restaurant. I am not sure if the honey mustard will be the same there or not. Perhaps it will be the Starview for the older crowd. I have my fingers crossed that when it opens they send a happy go lucky Greek man there to drum up business. But I can’t confirm that right now. The fact that I even know any of this is evidence I have no life.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
"The Memo"
The FOX News Channel has gotten themselves into a little bit of a pickle. In a recent book about Bush (w) it was revealed that Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News Channel wrote Bush a memo a few days after 9/11. The memo offered some advice on what to do and how the American public would think about certain actions. Maybe he should have known better. This story has gotten liberals shaking their fists like Micheal Jackson shaking his infant child over a balcony for no reason.
Big deal everyone knows FOX NEWS is slanted for Conservatives. Just like CNN was Clintons Outlet. The people at FOX heard the outcry for an alternate take and made lots of money on it. The only difference is during Clinton's peak years people had no other options. But was it really that big a deal? From what I understand it was right after 9/11 when everyone was emotional.
Ironically and not surprisingly it was published in the New York Times. The most extremist paper ever. Talk about being one-sided. Although they don't say they are fair and balanced they like to pretend they are. They always play politics. Don’t get me wrong I think papers should bring stuff like this to the public eye for them to judge. Pretty much everyone that writes for the times are about as far left as Drew. If not farther. Such extreme radicals. Some times down right scary how socialist they come across.
Anyway Newspapers like cable news networks always have their voice. IF you don’t believe me pick up a courier-post, Phila Inquirer and a Daily News (some what fair-and balanced) in your travels today. The Inquirer will always back democrats. I’m sure they would have endorsed the TORCH. But I still like the paper. No one cares when Peter Jennings puts his two cents in constantly One the nightly news.
Did Ted Turner ever give Clinton money? Would not be surprised. Come on if Ted Turner’s CNN didn’t smother conservatives voices for many years Fox News never would have been born. Of course liberals are thinking that maybe it is fishy cause the white house might seek favors like putting people on programs. What about ABC having a former Clinton worker with no journalistic background having his own show? Could the New York Times have waited this in order to try to help CNN in the sweeps ratings? It’s a long shot, but who knows. The bottom line is he is a Roger Alies is an American Citizen and can do what ever the hell he wants.
p.s.
I hope the pickle metaphor did not offend any pickle haters
The FOX News Channel has gotten themselves into a little bit of a pickle. In a recent book about Bush (w) it was revealed that Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News Channel wrote Bush a memo a few days after 9/11. The memo offered some advice on what to do and how the American public would think about certain actions. Maybe he should have known better. This story has gotten liberals shaking their fists like Micheal Jackson shaking his infant child over a balcony for no reason.
Big deal everyone knows FOX NEWS is slanted for Conservatives. Just like CNN was Clintons Outlet. The people at FOX heard the outcry for an alternate take and made lots of money on it. The only difference is during Clinton's peak years people had no other options. But was it really that big a deal? From what I understand it was right after 9/11 when everyone was emotional.
Ironically and not surprisingly it was published in the New York Times. The most extremist paper ever. Talk about being one-sided. Although they don't say they are fair and balanced they like to pretend they are. They always play politics. Don’t get me wrong I think papers should bring stuff like this to the public eye for them to judge. Pretty much everyone that writes for the times are about as far left as Drew. If not farther. Such extreme radicals. Some times down right scary how socialist they come across.
Anyway Newspapers like cable news networks always have their voice. IF you don’t believe me pick up a courier-post, Phila Inquirer and a Daily News (some what fair-and balanced) in your travels today. The Inquirer will always back democrats. I’m sure they would have endorsed the TORCH. But I still like the paper. No one cares when Peter Jennings puts his two cents in constantly One the nightly news.
Did Ted Turner ever give Clinton money? Would not be surprised. Come on if Ted Turner’s CNN didn’t smother conservatives voices for many years Fox News never would have been born. Of course liberals are thinking that maybe it is fishy cause the white house might seek favors like putting people on programs. What about ABC having a former Clinton worker with no journalistic background having his own show? Could the New York Times have waited this in order to try to help CNN in the sweeps ratings? It’s a long shot, but who knows. The bottom line is he is a Roger Alies is an American Citizen and can do what ever the hell he wants.
p.s.
I hope the pickle metaphor did not offend any pickle haters
Monday, November 18, 2002
“What Did Tucker Do?”
It is Monday so that means its time to play what did Tucker do? (what!?!). Okay first off I would like to clear up that I AM Tucker, it is my nonsense alias. In order to appreciate the game flash back to a school district not to far away.
In the early 90s, thinks were looking good. I recall pretending I liked Crystal Pepsi and Nirvana. I also had crush on a girl in grade school for two years at least. Since I was shy back than I never made am move on girls who liked me. Even if they were really obvious about liking me. I didn’t get the nerve to make a move till after my window closed with many cute girls at school. Anyway, I only talked to her moderately in high school. But I wondered about her sometimes in the last few years. So I bump into her at BAMBOO BERNIE’S recently. She looked pretty darn good. Now its time to play the game!
After we talked for 5 minutes or so, her friend came to her and asked her want she wanted to drink at the bar. So she said went got a beer. So for my readers..try to guess how Tucker handled this. Here are some possible things that happened.
A.
Keith…er…um ..Tucker is quick on his feet. He walks up with her to the bar, and says I got it. She is happy to get a beer for free, and he buys himself some more time holding a conversation. It goes well after both parties have another beer. Eventually he figures she wants to mingle, and rejoins his friend. He is wise enough to get her number. They have plans to get together in the middle of the week.
B.
Tucker can’t think of anything good to say past the typical small talk. So he starts telling her about gay sheep. He tells her how gay sheep have different brains than their heterosexual counter parts. She seems pretty uncomfortable, and it becomes more awkward when he grabs a cocktail napkin and tries to diagram the gay brain. Finally, he tries to get her to say Osama Where Have You Been Hiding really fast. It is supposed to sound like something. It doesn’t, and the whole thing doesn’t make any sense, and is not funny. She walks away thinking he was a bigger loser than she had thought.
C.
Small talk takes place, but when she goes to the bar he just lets her go. Later that night he talks about getting her number, but never follows through. Later that night he ponders making a doctor appointment to find out if he has any testicles or not. Oh yeah, and when he goes to take a leak some random guy takes his penis out before he gets close to the urinal for no good reason. Than he proceeds to engage in a conversation with Tucker.
D.
Tucker realizes quite possibly too late that her enormous boyfriend does not appreciate the small talk his girlfriend. The man hooks Tucker with a left. Tucker remains on his feet for mere seconds in a feeble attempt to strike back. His efforts are thwarted when the guy knees Tucker in the balls. This it toped off with a bottle being broken over his head. Tucker lays in a puddle of his own blood and beer….twitching like a half dead bug. They only good thing to come out of it, is he might not be able to have kids.
E.
Fellow blogger Drew steps up to Tucker while he is chatting away. “Step aside PUMA is in the house!” he says James Bond like fashion. Tucker just stands and watches her melt wile under the spell of PUMA. Tucker decides to cut his loses and hits on a fat chick. She is one of those fat chicks who still wears clubbin’ clothes for some reason. Tucker just gets really drunk and gets her number only programming 6 out of 7 numbers into his cell phone.
F.
Everything goes well. They share a passionate kiss in the dance floor. Everyone in the crowded bar disappears to these two love birds……okay……….I can’t even continue this one…its obviously fabricated.
email me which one you think is fact
mst3keith@aol.com
or write it down on a piece of paper than throw it away
“Welcome to Comcast Country III: The Merger”
If you are lost about this topic go the archives to read the two prequels.
Comcast and AT&T have joined forces making Comcast the biggest cable company in the entire country. More crappy service, retarded techs, fussy Comcast sports net, and lots more evil.
You can’t stop them. Comcast will own the country one day. They can’t be stopped. Just try. You children will belong to Comcast.
Seriously though, the fuzzy vision is still there, and even at bars. I am not sure if people just are too lazy to complain or Comcast is still just evil. I guess I will have to watch the Flyers through my VCR for the rest of my life. Maybe one day I will write to a local paper or something.
It is Monday so that means its time to play what did Tucker do? (what!?!). Okay first off I would like to clear up that I AM Tucker, it is my nonsense alias. In order to appreciate the game flash back to a school district not to far away.
In the early 90s, thinks were looking good. I recall pretending I liked Crystal Pepsi and Nirvana. I also had crush on a girl in grade school for two years at least. Since I was shy back than I never made am move on girls who liked me. Even if they were really obvious about liking me. I didn’t get the nerve to make a move till after my window closed with many cute girls at school. Anyway, I only talked to her moderately in high school. But I wondered about her sometimes in the last few years. So I bump into her at BAMBOO BERNIE’S recently. She looked pretty darn good. Now its time to play the game!
After we talked for 5 minutes or so, her friend came to her and asked her want she wanted to drink at the bar. So she said went got a beer. So for my readers..try to guess how Tucker handled this. Here are some possible things that happened.
A.
Keith…er…um ..Tucker is quick on his feet. He walks up with her to the bar, and says I got it. She is happy to get a beer for free, and he buys himself some more time holding a conversation. It goes well after both parties have another beer. Eventually he figures she wants to mingle, and rejoins his friend. He is wise enough to get her number. They have plans to get together in the middle of the week.
B.
Tucker can’t think of anything good to say past the typical small talk. So he starts telling her about gay sheep. He tells her how gay sheep have different brains than their heterosexual counter parts. She seems pretty uncomfortable, and it becomes more awkward when he grabs a cocktail napkin and tries to diagram the gay brain. Finally, he tries to get her to say Osama Where Have You Been Hiding really fast. It is supposed to sound like something. It doesn’t, and the whole thing doesn’t make any sense, and is not funny. She walks away thinking he was a bigger loser than she had thought.
C.
Small talk takes place, but when she goes to the bar he just lets her go. Later that night he talks about getting her number, but never follows through. Later that night he ponders making a doctor appointment to find out if he has any testicles or not. Oh yeah, and when he goes to take a leak some random guy takes his penis out before he gets close to the urinal for no good reason. Than he proceeds to engage in a conversation with Tucker.
D.
Tucker realizes quite possibly too late that her enormous boyfriend does not appreciate the small talk his girlfriend. The man hooks Tucker with a left. Tucker remains on his feet for mere seconds in a feeble attempt to strike back. His efforts are thwarted when the guy knees Tucker in the balls. This it toped off with a bottle being broken over his head. Tucker lays in a puddle of his own blood and beer….twitching like a half dead bug. They only good thing to come out of it, is he might not be able to have kids.
E.
Fellow blogger Drew steps up to Tucker while he is chatting away. “Step aside PUMA is in the house!” he says James Bond like fashion. Tucker just stands and watches her melt wile under the spell of PUMA. Tucker decides to cut his loses and hits on a fat chick. She is one of those fat chicks who still wears clubbin’ clothes for some reason. Tucker just gets really drunk and gets her number only programming 6 out of 7 numbers into his cell phone.
F.
Everything goes well. They share a passionate kiss in the dance floor. Everyone in the crowded bar disappears to these two love birds……okay……….I can’t even continue this one…its obviously fabricated.
email me which one you think is fact
mst3keith@aol.com
or write it down on a piece of paper than throw it away
“Welcome to Comcast Country III: The Merger”
If you are lost about this topic go the archives to read the two prequels.
Comcast and AT&T have joined forces making Comcast the biggest cable company in the entire country. More crappy service, retarded techs, fussy Comcast sports net, and lots more evil.
You can’t stop them. Comcast will own the country one day. They can’t be stopped. Just try. You children will belong to Comcast.
Seriously though, the fuzzy vision is still there, and even at bars. I am not sure if people just are too lazy to complain or Comcast is still just evil. I guess I will have to watch the Flyers through my VCR for the rest of my life. Maybe one day I will write to a local paper or something.
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