Friday, March 21, 2003

“Shock and Awe”


Earlier today after finished two epos ides of the Transformers on DVD I flipped on the news just to see what was called the shock and awe that we were expecting since yesterday. I was amazed on how much destruction was going on in front of my eyes. Baghdad appears to be on its way to being totally leveled.

Enormous clouds of smoke raised into the sky and buildings were turned into balls of flames. A reporter for ABC was right in the middle of it, and obviously shaken. He estimated that half of the city had been destroyed. Although he did say he may be overstated, but I am sure its hard to gage when missiles are flying over you head. I keep hearing that the end hasn’t come yet, and some addition bombing will happen with in hours that I type this.

I cannot imagine what it is like to be in the middle of that, or even in the neighboring countries. Not only is Baghdad being hit but many of the major cities are basically getting the crap bombed out of them.

Sadly last night (our time) we learned of the first causalities of the war. In addition to the ones killed in the helicopter accident another marine was killed on the ground in an unrelated incident. They say Saddam is still alive, but I don’t know how many men he has left close to him at this point. Many of his monuments and palaces went up in flames about an hour ago.



“Hollywood Poop-Machine”i>

Hopefully its okay to take a break from the war talk for a bit, because I am going to. Hey everyone needs escape these days. This topic is some what relevant with the pending Oscars and all. Not to mention none of these films I am about to discuss are likely ever to be uttered during Oscar season.

I recently saw Bringing Down the House with Steve Martin, frequently funny film, but not flat out classic Martin. Good enough to make me forget St. Bilko, and The Out of Towners and the over-rated Bowfinger. I am also glad it made a lot of money so perhaps Martin will bounce back.

Anyway I was upset at one misstep in the film when the resorted to a pop-medicine joke. Now we all remember the classic scene in the hailrous film Dumb and Dumber (1994) when a jealous Jim Carrey decided he would help out Jeff Daniels digestive track by spiking his drink. Of course he over did it and Daniels couldn’t taste anything. What resulted was one of the most talked about scenes 90’s films, and certainly of Daniel’s career who still fields questions about the scene to this day. It was classic.

I guess it was inevitable that the joke would be copied by lazy writers, and like usual every time you make a copy of a copy of a copy it loses its impact. A few years later a similar prank was pulled in American Pie when the vitictim was a high school senior who refused to use public restrooms. Daniels had to take a dump at his girlfriends, while poor Finch took one in the girl’s room by accident. This kind of worked because of the previous set up, but it was an obvious Dumb and Dumber remake. Granted 5 years had past but I thought it was a cheap way to get laughs and fill a few minutes in an other wise solid comedy.

Just last year in National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, Van’s arch enemy was the vitictim of similar circumstances by the fate of his ex-girlfriend. This poor guy had to unload in a trash can in front of influential people for his law school prospects. This was more gruesome than Daniels but less funny. Why couldn’t they come up with an original way for him to get what he deserved?

Most recently Steve Martin was the mistaken victim of fast relief. This sequence seemed like a last minute throw in. It would have played better with the musical movement of Martin’s limbs had the joke not been already tired. The minute I saw the bottle I was ready to slam my hand against my forehead hoping the set up and delivery would be quick. I couldn’t imagine why they needed that in there. It didn’t even play any significance at the end of the film at all. Didn’t anyone one the set see the previous 3 films ? When I see this joke now I just see the writers initially saying. something funny happens here. Than when the shoot…they say I KNOW! I know many jokes get recycled from previously funnier versions, but this one is too blatant and cheap to allow to continue.

I am looking to put a ban on all these jokes. Write your congressman or the head of a major motion studio in an attempt to retire this worn out gag. You will be glad that you did!


Oh and now we have a new movie out this week with Cub Gooding Jr. who “comically” dresses in drag. ENOUGH! How many times must we see this concept UGGGHH.



Wednesday, March 19, 2003

"The Waiting Game From Hell"

Right now the Flyers search for answers after a defeat to a hapless Buffalo team. Right now people are increasingly frustrated with their NCAA brackets not matching the actual outcome of the tournament. Right now as I type this most my readers are fast asleep in their beds waiting for the alarm to buzz off again, and to start another day. Whether it be going to school or work, or just loafing around the house. Right now thousands of American solders stand in a sanding desert awaiting orders.

Driving home from my girlfriend’s tonight hardly a car was on the road. Everything appears normal that is unless you turn on a television, click on the Internet or pick up a newspaper. The hours of a pending war are dwindling. As I type this we have just a few minutes over 18 hours left until the war has begun. I know this because the NBC cable affiliates have shamelessly been running a clock in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. I know that their ratings have been below FOX News and CNN, but it is not like but they act like there are proudly launching a new reality series. I fear many cable networks will package this war as something or an entertainment value.

Turn on the news and you see hundreds of protests around the world. Most people I talk to are either admittedly against the war, or like myself on the fence. Some people think that 9/11 and Iraq are related. Are they? I haven’t been giving hard evidence yet, but I wouldn’t at all be surprised. We know that terrorists involved in plots against America have met with high up Iraqi officials. Yet we have no proof that money exchanged hands. It seemed people were more irate about the possibility of Enron and Bush exchanging money than Iraq and terrorists groups. Some people think its one of the best public relations campaigns ever. Critics of the war site the lack of recent references to Osama. Bush has not publicly mentioned him since July 2002, and not said his name in a speech since February 2002. Not that we haven’t had success going after his followers. The last few months have been highly successful in the war against terror.

Talk to people, and try to research the war, and you will find it’s a confusing situation. People have different variations about what’s going on out there. This lady I work with was telling my this is the first start in a evil American plan to take over the world. She said we were going to destroy Iraq and take all of the their oil. Than we will move on to North Korea, Iran, and Pakistan destroying and looting everything in our paths, but I seriously doubt we have the manpower to do that. Nor will Bush have enough time left on his term. Some Americans are just totally against the Bush policies.

Some fear this war will rage on for years and become a disaster. A friend of mines mother who was giving me advice on my current job search hinted that I might end up in the military. She is under the impression that we are short handed and a draft is not out of the question. Others think it might be over in a few weeks. It would be nice to see most of the Iraqi people just allow American troops to move into Iraqi. From what I understand more people would rather Saddam be ousted than not. However, he still has followers that are likely to fight to the death. I fear that if Saddam has any lethal weapons he might use them to go down out with a fight. Many people think this war will be done in mere weeks.

Many people are irate that the UN didn’t get a final vote on the situation in Iraq. However that would likely just draw things out more, and agree or disagree about this war I honestly think its either now or never. The weather over there is going to get worse in the next few months, and further delays would result in a harder battle for our troops. Or perhaps delay the ordeal another calendar year, which would be deviating to the mental state of our troops.

Still others think our meddling in other countries is responsible for terrorism itself, and we should just let Saddam do his thing and hope that he stays in his corner. Most people think that since he hasn’t been overly aggressive since 1991 he has learned his lesson. Most people thinks Saddam is a horrible person, but cant justify war. While others think, we should deal with North Korea. However, I doubt we would go to war there, given the size of their forces, and the fact that they have means to destroy most of our major cities. Oddly enough some people thing we should throw in the towel on the missile defense system. Well if Iraq doesn’t have nuclear capabilities it very well could in years, than we would have two North Koreas on our hands.

People seem a little more on edge than they did in 1991 about the pending war. I guess that’s understandable in a post 9/11 war. There could very easily be cells waiting for the right moment to strike. I hope that’s not true. I pray for our troops, and hope for peaceful solution even though many cable networks will be disappointed. I hope to be kicking back a cold one with Price this summer.

I have been going through mental anguish trying to get aspects of my life in order since I finished college, and grow ever more increasingly frustrated with my current job status. Part of it is my own damn fault, and I am lucky to have a terrific girl who helps me from feeling too discouraged and helps me keep my sanity. I shift through meager offerings and job openings for resent college grads and it’s a major obstacle in my life. But as far as hardships go compared to the troops at the Iraq border mine is roughly the size of an orange and theirs perhaps the size of the Empire States Building. Sometimes I fear I could fail at a new job, but than I think to myself if people my age and younger can have the balls to stand out in that desert than I can certainly succeed once I get my foot in a door some place. Any place.

I have also heard that Vegas is even running lines on how long the war will last. I think the lost of human lives is simply a horrible thing to put money on. Who out there thinks they know how things will play out? This isn’t something you can put a bet on for any reason, and that is scary as hell.

I promised I would let readers get their comments in if they wanted too. I have cut and pasted comments from my former co-worker Ed who has had a previous guest shot on my blog.

"Wam Bam, Adios Saddam"





But I do know about this. The war about to start in Iraq is about to kick off. This will be very quick except for possibly taking Baghdad. Seiging the city will take longer but there will be less casualties on both sides which will be politically advantageous. We have them. Baghdad is not the key to Iraq, but is the final goal. We can take the rest of the country before taking the capitol. If Sadist's inner circle is capable of seeing the wrighting on the wall they may kill him and this be over before Monday. If he languashes in the city this could take awhile.

I think things will unfold this way. On Thursday the air campaign will commense. Baghdad won't need street lights to navigate the roads. 80% of the weapons droped will be percision guided (unlike in '91 20%). This will limit civilian casualties assuming our intelligence is accurate. The air strikes will destroy all communications between their command structure and units in the field. Also units directly outside the city will be tageted. I doubt they will be able to mount any oposition in the air at all. At the same time our ground forces will cross the border and charge up the highway (very convienant?). In the open desert our armored and mechanized infantry will smash through anyone stupid enough to offer resistance. Much of the enemy which consists of conscripts will surender outright. I think chemical weapons will be used against us but be ineffectual. We'll be ready for it. Republican guard units will try to fight but will be cut up by our more modern and be
tter trained forces. They will all have to be delt with before going to Baghdad.

Sadam is a small man. He is a coward. I hope he'll just commit suicide. But he is self delusional and may try to fight it out against the inevitable. Unless his own trusted men take him out, I fear the civilian casualties in the capitol could be high. But I doubt that the military will commit to an urban battle.

We have the trained troops, technology, and equipment. This is the time and the place to show the rest of the world how firm our resolve is. Fighting this war hopefully will also scare other roughes who don't think we have the steel to fight to protect ourselves. Some people outside of the U.S. think we are cowards, unable and unwilling to commit to open warfare. THIS should change their mind. And let IT be a warning to any other beligerant nation or organization who think they can target us.

Monday, March 17, 2003

“The Good, The Bad,The Sad”

I wanted to comment on some things I see that make me happy, mad, and/ or sad.

The Good:

The Warmer Weather will result in girls walking around in skimpy clothing.

Sharkey’s Chicken Wings

Tony Amonte has 5 points in his first 2 games as a Flyer

Some random Billionaire bought the Buffalo Sabres.

Laying face down on my bed motionless after coming home from Sears, and trying to pretend I don’t exist. It is one of my favorite things to do in my day.

The fact Widescreen format is becoming more of an acceptable way to view movies.

The Ocean City boardwalk one of my favorite summer rituals and home of some of the best pizza in South Jersey.


The Bad:

The sound of the automatic door at Sears, which means a customer, has entered.

Lima Beanz teaching high school kids.

Moscos’ Christmas sweater

The Ice at the FU center in the spring

Sears Outlet

Taco Bell

People who use the left turn only lane as a means to pass other motorists and cut off traffic to try to make a green light

The negative effects a pending War could have on our country.

If Liza (the newest reader) does not think my comments on girls in skimpy clothing is funny, and puts me in the dog house!

The Sad

Jason Alexander’s KFC ads

Michael Jackson’s nose

The people that clean up the tables at the Echelon Mall.

The La Strada Restaurant a fairly new Italian restaurant located in a seemingly cursed location on the White Horse Pike (Magnolia I think). Everyone tells me that there are never any cars in the parking lot and people that have dined say they were the only people there. Ryan has told me that he has seen the owners staring out the window hoping for motorists to stop by for a little Italian food. He reported seeing them on his way to and on his way back from a recent Sixers Game. I have also heard that its actually owned by two Czech dudes. Just think of the poor guys coming to America in search of a dream coming over on the ship with their ponies and dreams of owning their own business. Think of the poor guys staring out the window hoping that all their money and hard work will pay off and business will start booming. Think of the poor guys going over their bills at the end of the month scratching their heads in attempts to make ends meet.

Maybe I should go in there and suggest reformatting their business and serving Czech. Food. Perhaps I will tell all my friends about their wonderful establishment. I bet they would listen to me because I am a very good man…. scratch that a very GREAT man!


"Iraq's Mission"

The following is a transcripte from CNN.com ___


Earlier today, I ordered America's armed forces to strike military and security targets in Iraq. They are joined by British forces. Their mission is to attack Iraq's nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors.

Their purpose is to protect the national interest of the United States, and indeed the interests of people throughout the Middle East and around the world.

Saddam Hussein must not be allowed to threaten his neighbors or the world with nuclear arms, poison gas or biological weapons.

I want to explain why I have decided, with the unanimous recommendation of my national security team, to use force in Iraq; why we have acted now; and what we aim to accomplish.

Six weeks ago, Saddam Hussein announced that he would no longer cooperate with the United Nations weapons inspectors called UNSCOM. They are highly professional experts from dozens of countries. Their job is to oversee the elimination of Iraq's capability to retain, create and use weapons of mass destruction, and to verify that Iraq does not attempt to rebuild that capability.

The inspectors undertook this mission first 7.5 years ago at the end of the Gulf War when Iraq agreed to declare and destroy its arsenal as a condition of the ceasefire.

The international community had good reason to set this requirement. Other countries possess weapons of mass destruction and ballistic missiles. With Saddam, there is one big difference: He has used them. Not once, but repeatedly. Unleashing chemical weapons against Iranian troops during a decade-long war. Not only against soldiers, but against civilians, firing Scud missiles at the citizens of Israel, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Iran. And not only against a foreign enemy, but even against his own people, gassing Kurdish civilians in Northern Iraq.

-end transcript

Some of you who have read this might have thought it was plucked from a resent CNN weblink, and that it was indeed Bush speaking. It has all the trademarks, but its actually Bill Cinton speaking on Dec. 16 1998. Granted it was just about "miltary strikes" but he is pretty much saying the same damn thing we have been hearing over and over again for almost a year from Bush. Clinton even vaugely referenced farther miltary action if they don't comply. The really haven't complied much at all. This was years ago, but did many people give him crap and say where is the smoking gun? I know he wasn't asking for all out WAR, but he basically was implying that if the situation stays the same or gets worse it might be necessary

I'd rather see a stronger link bettwee Iraq and 9/11 than hearing that the weapons they have could be used against us in the future. The most that I know that have heard is that various terrorists linked to 9/11 met with Iraqi agents. However after reading this Clinton makes it harder to argue lack of miltary support, because he issued a final warning in 1998. Add that to all the ones Bush gave him, and thats quite a few. Basically from what I remember he yanked inspectors out of there so he could hit some targets. They were never allowed back in, and as he had said the inspections weren't progressing anyway. I DONT want war, one of my best friends is over there, but what is the alternative? More sanctions that won't work? Its bad enough we put it off this long with the US soliders standing out there in sandstorms and all, as we try to iron things out with the UN. Id imagine if the US wanted to go to war they may have done it sooner, but simply couldn't have without jumping a few hurrdles.

Is it hard to come to grips with the dirty deeds that need to be done in order to prevent Saddam from getting out of control? Or is it just the US going buck-wild after the land the horrible events of 9/11. Is Bush mad with power? email me at Mst3keith@aol.com cause I'd like to know what my readers think.
Tucker's World has yet to claim a positive position on the WAR, but I thought I would throw these links out here.

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1998/12/16/transcripts/clinton.html

http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1998/12/16/clinton/