“Shock and Awe”


Earlier today after finished two epos ides of the Transformers on DVD I flipped on the news just to see what was called the shock and awe that we were expecting since yesterday. I was amazed on how much destruction was going on in front of my eyes. Baghdad appears to be on its way to being totally leveled.

Enormous clouds of smoke raised into the sky and buildings were turned into balls of flames. A reporter for ABC was right in the middle of it, and obviously shaken. He estimated that half of the city had been destroyed. Although he did say he may be overstated, but I am sure its hard to gage when missiles are flying over you head. I keep hearing that the end hasn’t come yet, and some addition bombing will happen with in hours that I type this.

I cannot imagine what it is like to be in the middle of that, or even in the neighboring countries. Not only is Baghdad being hit but many of the major cities are basically getting the crap bombed out of them.

Sadly last night (our time) we learned of the first causalities of the war. In addition to the ones killed in the helicopter accident another marine was killed on the ground in an unrelated incident. They say Saddam is still alive, but I don’t know how many men he has left close to him at this point. Many of his monuments and palaces went up in flames about an hour ago.



“Hollywood Poop-Machine”i>

Hopefully its okay to take a break from the war talk for a bit, because I am going to. Hey everyone needs escape these days. This topic is some what relevant with the pending Oscars and all. Not to mention none of these films I am about to discuss are likely ever to be uttered during Oscar season.

I recently saw Bringing Down the House with Steve Martin, frequently funny film, but not flat out classic Martin. Good enough to make me forget St. Bilko, and The Out of Towners and the over-rated Bowfinger. I am also glad it made a lot of money so perhaps Martin will bounce back.

Anyway I was upset at one misstep in the film when the resorted to a pop-medicine joke. Now we all remember the classic scene in the hailrous film Dumb and Dumber (1994) when a jealous Jim Carrey decided he would help out Jeff Daniels digestive track by spiking his drink. Of course he over did it and Daniels couldn’t taste anything. What resulted was one of the most talked about scenes 90’s films, and certainly of Daniel’s career who still fields questions about the scene to this day. It was classic.

I guess it was inevitable that the joke would be copied by lazy writers, and like usual every time you make a copy of a copy of a copy it loses its impact. A few years later a similar prank was pulled in American Pie when the vitictim was a high school senior who refused to use public restrooms. Daniels had to take a dump at his girlfriends, while poor Finch took one in the girl’s room by accident. This kind of worked because of the previous set up, but it was an obvious Dumb and Dumber remake. Granted 5 years had past but I thought it was a cheap way to get laughs and fill a few minutes in an other wise solid comedy.

Just last year in National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, Van’s arch enemy was the vitictim of similar circumstances by the fate of his ex-girlfriend. This poor guy had to unload in a trash can in front of influential people for his law school prospects. This was more gruesome than Daniels but less funny. Why couldn’t they come up with an original way for him to get what he deserved?

Most recently Steve Martin was the mistaken victim of fast relief. This sequence seemed like a last minute throw in. It would have played better with the musical movement of Martin’s limbs had the joke not been already tired. The minute I saw the bottle I was ready to slam my hand against my forehead hoping the set up and delivery would be quick. I couldn’t imagine why they needed that in there. It didn’t even play any significance at the end of the film at all. Didn’t anyone one the set see the previous 3 films ? When I see this joke now I just see the writers initially saying. something funny happens here. Than when the shoot…they say I KNOW! I know many jokes get recycled from previously funnier versions, but this one is too blatant and cheap to allow to continue.

I am looking to put a ban on all these jokes. Write your congressman or the head of a major motion studio in an attempt to retire this worn out gag. You will be glad that you did!


Oh and now we have a new movie out this week with Cub Gooding Jr. who “comically” dresses in drag. ENOUGH! How many times must we see this concept UGGGHH.