"Beware the Trolls"
Anyone that has ever taken a piss on the side of the Garden State Parkway while stuck in shore traffic might want to think twice before they go and urinate outside. Supposedly over the 10 few years there have been reported cases of troll sightings on the sides of the highway.
Yes you read that right. TROLLS! There have been various accounts of sightings of such creatures. The most recent one came from an ambulance driver who sore he saw a Troll on the hood of a car peering at a crash victim. He thought he was just seeing things but when he looked where it was standing mud smears were on the roof of the car.
Are they just hallucinations of the drunk or drugged of up South Jersey or are there truly trolls lurking in the woods watching our every move. Peering at idiots peeing on the grass near the thick woods, waiting for their chance to pounce on us or perhaps they are friendly. Rubbing their evil little hands together waiting to sink there razor sharp teeth into human skin. Eating the flesh of the living.
Perhaps they are going to become more aggressive as their homes are destroyed for more drugs stores and housing developments. Perhaps they have magical powers beyond our understanding. Maybe there are just curious of the ways of the humans.
For any of you that have doubts about the sanity of posting after 1 am, or were under the impression that my writer's block would never end all I have to say is, please this summer beware the trolls!
Friday, May 30, 2003
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
"Tucker's Frozen Memories"
The Stanley Cup Final are here, and I am going to give the Ducks the edge in a series sweeping 4 –0 advantage. Now if a good time as any to look back at some of my favorite moments of Hockey I have seen in my life time. So basically stuff I was old enough to remember happening. I’m too damn tired to actually rank them.
****
In 1997 the Flyers made it to the finals and suffered a “choking situation” and were swept away by the The Detroit Red Wings. Their celebration was cut short when the highly talented Russian defensemen VLAD. KONSTANTINOV, the team masseuse, and Sergi Festisov were in a car accident. The limo driver apparently high as kite slammed into a tree. He tested positive for weed. Festisov was a bit banged up, and so was the masseuse. The masseuse can walk with help. However, Konstantinov was horribly injured in the accident. His career was over, and he hasn’t been able to walk again since. He to this day is wheel chair bound and mentally challenged.
However, the moment occurred in 1998 when the Red Wings won the cup again. They wheeled out Konstantinov on the ice and let him touch the cup. The team basically played for him all season, and this year they could enjoy the Cup celebration instead of worrying if the their teammates will live or die. I will never forget the image of him on the ice touching the Cup. His wife was there, and even though he might not have had he was half the man he was, I got the impression he knew what was going on at that point.
For the record, the Limo Driver served 9 months. He claimed he didn’t smoke that night.
****
The Whalers were fighting for their playoff lives and went two overtimes with the Montreal Canadians in game 7. This was an exciting series because no one thought the Whale could overcome the odds, although I believed. My dreams were shattered when the Whalers lost. Who knows if they made some more money that playoff season if they could have stayed in Hartford for a longer period of time. A few year later they moved and became the Carolina Hurricanes. Leaving the Mall in Hartford emptier than the one in Echelon and upsetting both of their fans.
****
Wayne Gretzky says goodbye at the end of the 1998-99 season. It was a game in New York since he finished his career as a Ranger. The whole game was pretty much meaningless statistics wise, but the whole hockey world game out to say goodbye. I got to see the Great One last time, I tried to soak up the time, because I knew he was going to become simply a player that we referred to in the past tense. At the end of the game Mark Messier came out to greet him and so did Marty McCsorely show had to to get the day off (he was with the redwings at the time) to come the occasion. Wayne waved goodbye and there hasn’t been a Superstar like him in the NHL since.
I watched this game all by myself and I had more goose bumps than Jamie smokes cigarettes in a given day.
***
Mario Lemiuex’s last game ever (or who thought so at the time) ranks up there pretty good. Altnough it was entirely cheapened by his comeback a few years ago. What I remember more because I was there was his first game back from his fight with Cancer. Super Mario got a standing ovation in South Philly that night. Everyone was on their feet, and I think I lost some of my hearing that night. The fans, players and the whole hockey world was just thankful that he was alive, and were thrilled that he was going to play again
The 2000 playoffs the 2nd young the Flyers go into 5 OTS with the Pittsburgh Penguins. I remember being pissed I was going to miss some of the game due to work, I only managed to miss the first period or two. I ended up seeing a hell of a lot of hockey that night.
It seemed like it wouldn’t end. We first watched the game at Dan’s Stratford aparment, and I would go out and watch Price smoke a cigarette every intermission sitting on the stoop. We even prevented Dan’s chance to get intimate with his GF. He than booted Price and me out and we went back to my house. One the way there The Stone Temple Pilots Song “Sour Girl” was playing. That has nothing to do with anything.
What made this game wild was the fact that it seemed like it just wouldn’t end. There were plenty of chances, I knew who ever won was going to the conference finals. Especially since the Flyers had just won in double OT the last game making it a 2-1 series. We were going nuts the whole night because of all the close calls. Finally well after midnight Keith Primeau put the puck in the net. I was in disbelief did I dream this or did it happen? With in two months it was on ESPN classic. Of course by that time the Devils had came back from being down 3-1 to knock out the Flyers and advance to the finals.
******
Brett Hull’s gaming wining goal that would give his Dallas Stars the Stanley Cup was pretty much illegal. Sure the NHL used spin doctors the next few days to tell us why it was a really a goal, but it wouldn’t have been before. IT was just impossible to call back seeing as where the entire team was on the ice with in seconds with t-shirts saying they won the cup.
The next year they got rid of the stupid foot in the crease roll, which is good because it made about as much sense as a David Lynch movie.
****
Ray Borque got traded at the deadline so he could get a cup before he retired. Boston sent him to Colorado where he achieved his dream. He played well the whole post season, and the final game became his night. All the eyes were on him. I cant think of anyone in hockey that deserved it more than a player like him. He never bitched, he never whined about money, he never had a drug addiction, and he schooled many youngsters on the game.
I watched this moment on Ryan’s patio with a bunch of my male friends. We were completely silent the whole time, no one said a word for about 25- 30 mins. It was great watching him enjoy his moment. I felt like I was there, and I was never happier for a sports figure winning anything than that at that time. The silence was broken when Duke made a tasteless joke about Michael J Fox’s Parkinson’s Disease (he was narrating segments of the game for some reason).
A Pre-season game is stopped short weeks after September 11th when Bush makes his famous speech. The Flyers faced off against the Rangers that night and the game was tied 2-2. The speech game on the fan vision and the fans wanted it to stay. All the players looked up with the fans and watched. It was a crazy time, the Flyers, the Rangers and the fans were all the same. Sadly the game wasn’t on TV but the stills
and footage that exists is very emotional.
One final note, that I am not old enough to remember the tribute to Pelle Lindberg, although I have that and Bobby Clarke’s retirement night on tape, its quite hard to watch.
The Stanley Cup Final are here, and I am going to give the Ducks the edge in a series sweeping 4 –0 advantage. Now if a good time as any to look back at some of my favorite moments of Hockey I have seen in my life time. So basically stuff I was old enough to remember happening. I’m too damn tired to actually rank them.
****
In 1997 the Flyers made it to the finals and suffered a “choking situation” and were swept away by the The Detroit Red Wings. Their celebration was cut short when the highly talented Russian defensemen VLAD. KONSTANTINOV, the team masseuse, and Sergi Festisov were in a car accident. The limo driver apparently high as kite slammed into a tree. He tested positive for weed. Festisov was a bit banged up, and so was the masseuse. The masseuse can walk with help. However, Konstantinov was horribly injured in the accident. His career was over, and he hasn’t been able to walk again since. He to this day is wheel chair bound and mentally challenged.
However, the moment occurred in 1998 when the Red Wings won the cup again. They wheeled out Konstantinov on the ice and let him touch the cup. The team basically played for him all season, and this year they could enjoy the Cup celebration instead of worrying if the their teammates will live or die. I will never forget the image of him on the ice touching the Cup. His wife was there, and even though he might not have had he was half the man he was, I got the impression he knew what was going on at that point.
For the record, the Limo Driver served 9 months. He claimed he didn’t smoke that night.
****
The Whalers were fighting for their playoff lives and went two overtimes with the Montreal Canadians in game 7. This was an exciting series because no one thought the Whale could overcome the odds, although I believed. My dreams were shattered when the Whalers lost. Who knows if they made some more money that playoff season if they could have stayed in Hartford for a longer period of time. A few year later they moved and became the Carolina Hurricanes. Leaving the Mall in Hartford emptier than the one in Echelon and upsetting both of their fans.
****
Wayne Gretzky says goodbye at the end of the 1998-99 season. It was a game in New York since he finished his career as a Ranger. The whole game was pretty much meaningless statistics wise, but the whole hockey world game out to say goodbye. I got to see the Great One last time, I tried to soak up the time, because I knew he was going to become simply a player that we referred to in the past tense. At the end of the game Mark Messier came out to greet him and so did Marty McCsorely show had to to get the day off (he was with the redwings at the time) to come the occasion. Wayne waved goodbye and there hasn’t been a Superstar like him in the NHL since.
I watched this game all by myself and I had more goose bumps than Jamie smokes cigarettes in a given day.
***
Mario Lemiuex’s last game ever (or who thought so at the time) ranks up there pretty good. Altnough it was entirely cheapened by his comeback a few years ago. What I remember more because I was there was his first game back from his fight with Cancer. Super Mario got a standing ovation in South Philly that night. Everyone was on their feet, and I think I lost some of my hearing that night. The fans, players and the whole hockey world was just thankful that he was alive, and were thrilled that he was going to play again
The 2000 playoffs the 2nd young the Flyers go into 5 OTS with the Pittsburgh Penguins. I remember being pissed I was going to miss some of the game due to work, I only managed to miss the first period or two. I ended up seeing a hell of a lot of hockey that night.
It seemed like it wouldn’t end. We first watched the game at Dan’s Stratford aparment, and I would go out and watch Price smoke a cigarette every intermission sitting on the stoop. We even prevented Dan’s chance to get intimate with his GF. He than booted Price and me out and we went back to my house. One the way there The Stone Temple Pilots Song “Sour Girl” was playing. That has nothing to do with anything.
What made this game wild was the fact that it seemed like it just wouldn’t end. There were plenty of chances, I knew who ever won was going to the conference finals. Especially since the Flyers had just won in double OT the last game making it a 2-1 series. We were going nuts the whole night because of all the close calls. Finally well after midnight Keith Primeau put the puck in the net. I was in disbelief did I dream this or did it happen? With in two months it was on ESPN classic. Of course by that time the Devils had came back from being down 3-1 to knock out the Flyers and advance to the finals.
******
Brett Hull’s gaming wining goal that would give his Dallas Stars the Stanley Cup was pretty much illegal. Sure the NHL used spin doctors the next few days to tell us why it was a really a goal, but it wouldn’t have been before. IT was just impossible to call back seeing as where the entire team was on the ice with in seconds with t-shirts saying they won the cup.
The next year they got rid of the stupid foot in the crease roll, which is good because it made about as much sense as a David Lynch movie.
****
Ray Borque got traded at the deadline so he could get a cup before he retired. Boston sent him to Colorado where he achieved his dream. He played well the whole post season, and the final game became his night. All the eyes were on him. I cant think of anyone in hockey that deserved it more than a player like him. He never bitched, he never whined about money, he never had a drug addiction, and he schooled many youngsters on the game.
I watched this moment on Ryan’s patio with a bunch of my male friends. We were completely silent the whole time, no one said a word for about 25- 30 mins. It was great watching him enjoy his moment. I felt like I was there, and I was never happier for a sports figure winning anything than that at that time. The silence was broken when Duke made a tasteless joke about Michael J Fox’s Parkinson’s Disease (he was narrating segments of the game for some reason).
A Pre-season game is stopped short weeks after September 11th when Bush makes his famous speech. The Flyers faced off against the Rangers that night and the game was tied 2-2. The speech game on the fan vision and the fans wanted it to stay. All the players looked up with the fans and watched. It was a crazy time, the Flyers, the Rangers and the fans were all the same. Sadly the game wasn’t on TV but the stills
and footage that exists is very emotional.
One final note, that I am not old enough to remember the tribute to Pelle Lindberg, although I have that and Bobby Clarke’s retirement night on tape, its quite hard to watch.
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