“Blogg Mummies & Shady McGruff”
Well Tucker’s world is officially dead! Now Tucker’s world 2 is born, and it will hopefully be a tad more pleasing to the eye. The font as changed and hopefully the site does not blog over itself repeating the headline over and over again.
As a result I have reposted all the previous articles. I hope that the comment feature is not far behind. Than again its me we are talking about.
Well if you traveled down the white horse pike recently in the Somerdale/Stratford area I’m sure you wondered not only what is the deal with the Quaker house but who is Shady McGruff?
The bar that was formerly known as the Party and Grill sat there empty for many years and was overhauled and renamed the White Horse Lantern. Apparently, the people who own Harper’s pub bought the place. However it never opened and was up for sale right after the overhaul. A few weeks back ago a sign said coming soon Shady McGruff’s! Now closer to opening the doors to the good people of Somerdale a new sign hangs out with a shifty eyed dog in an Irish hat with a beer mug in hand.
It’s good that its in some what staggering distance of my house, but who knows what kind of crowd it will draw. If it even draws one at all, because it wouldn’t surprise me if that place was cursed given the fact they keep changing names. I’m told it will be similar to Bamboo Bernie’s which would bring lots of hot half naked girls to my neighborhood. Unfortunately, the last thing we need is a bunch of morons making a left on the already congested pike. Perhaps I will just wait outside for drunk girls with impaired vision, and blurred judgment, or I will blow off the beer guzzling dog for some chicken tenders and some delicious honey mustard.
Friday, August 30, 2002
[8/30/2002 12:20:37 AM | keith H]
"Welcome to Comcast Country...now bend over!"
If you tried to watching the Phillies recently or wanted to catch the Eagles preseason game rebroadcast for the 10th time perhaps you noticed something that many other South Jersey residents are.
If your lucky it appears the reception looks like you have had one too many beers. Sadly thats about as good as it gets. At times in the afternoon it appears about as clear a scrambled porn channel. This has been going on since Comcast oddly shifted ComcastSportsnet from channel 9 all the way down channel 69.
Why would such a popular channel produced by the same people that own the actual cable company be flipped to such a higher channel, usually dedicated to lame stations no one watches( not to mention the sexual reference). Granted it is not uncommon for the cable distributors to monkey with their lineup. But in this case ComcastSportsnet simply went to a station where Comcast IN DEMAND ads ran 24/7, and QVC showed up on channel 9, and no other channels moved, no other channels were even added. Seems strange.
So strange that my father actually called the cable company. The first time they didn't bother to show up. The next time They replaced the cable line going into the house and nothing changed and of course he showed up late. The third trip involved a "tech" expert. He just became disgruntled that the last guy didn't run a new line from the pole to the house, just replaced the line inside, and part of the outside line.
He did offer advice saying it's likely an old wire somewhere is exposed causing interference from an AM radio frequency. Supposedly they will work on it sometime after the holiday. Id imagine many more people will flood the company with complaints in the next weeks if nothing changes when the Flyers and Sixers start their seasons.
Unfortunately you can't switch cable companies either, because Comcast has zero competition. Don't ask me how this is not a monopoly cause not only doesn't my comment feature not work, but I don't no the answer. They gobbled up Suburban, Warner and Garden State Cable. If anyone dares to come around they have to run their own cable lines, which would break their wallets in no time.
The wiggle vision has not only effected me. Drive up to the Warwick tavern or any local sports bar and try to figure out why it looks like Phillies game looks like its underwater.
Is this a ploy to get analog subcribers to switch to digital? Thats what I thought, but the "tech" said even the digitial subcribers get CSN in analog form. Perhaps people at Comcast are just morons. Perhaps its own by a rich evil Mr. Burns type person who gets joy from watching people suffer. Recent articles in the Business section elude to possible problems with the company's future. Any company with Scott Hanson on the payroll should be.
ps. the outer frame of my blog now doubles as a magic eye poster. I can't wait to see what nonsense appears about the head line this time.
"Welcome to Comcast Country...now bend over!"
If you tried to watching the Phillies recently or wanted to catch the Eagles preseason game rebroadcast for the 10th time perhaps you noticed something that many other South Jersey residents are.
If your lucky it appears the reception looks like you have had one too many beers. Sadly thats about as good as it gets. At times in the afternoon it appears about as clear a scrambled porn channel. This has been going on since Comcast oddly shifted ComcastSportsnet from channel 9 all the way down channel 69.
Why would such a popular channel produced by the same people that own the actual cable company be flipped to such a higher channel, usually dedicated to lame stations no one watches( not to mention the sexual reference). Granted it is not uncommon for the cable distributors to monkey with their lineup. But in this case ComcastSportsnet simply went to a station where Comcast IN DEMAND ads ran 24/7, and QVC showed up on channel 9, and no other channels moved, no other channels were even added. Seems strange.
So strange that my father actually called the cable company. The first time they didn't bother to show up. The next time They replaced the cable line going into the house and nothing changed and of course he showed up late. The third trip involved a "tech" expert. He just became disgruntled that the last guy didn't run a new line from the pole to the house, just replaced the line inside, and part of the outside line.
He did offer advice saying it's likely an old wire somewhere is exposed causing interference from an AM radio frequency. Supposedly they will work on it sometime after the holiday. Id imagine many more people will flood the company with complaints in the next weeks if nothing changes when the Flyers and Sixers start their seasons.
Unfortunately you can't switch cable companies either, because Comcast has zero competition. Don't ask me how this is not a monopoly cause not only doesn't my comment feature not work, but I don't no the answer. They gobbled up Suburban, Warner and Garden State Cable. If anyone dares to come around they have to run their own cable lines, which would break their wallets in no time.
The wiggle vision has not only effected me. Drive up to the Warwick tavern or any local sports bar and try to figure out why it looks like Phillies game looks like its underwater.
Is this a ploy to get analog subcribers to switch to digital? Thats what I thought, but the "tech" said even the digitial subcribers get CSN in analog form. Perhaps people at Comcast are just morons. Perhaps its own by a rich evil Mr. Burns type person who gets joy from watching people suffer. Recent articles in the Business section elude to possible problems with the company's future. Any company with Scott Hanson on the payroll should be.
ps. the outer frame of my blog now doubles as a magic eye poster. I can't wait to see what nonsense appears about the head line this time.
[8/28/2002 4:40:26 PM | keith H]
“Three DVDs, a guy and some down time”
Here is a run down on my latest Blockbuster run.
National Lampoon’s Van Wilder
Rated R 2002
Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid
The guy who wrote and directed National Lampoon’s must have grown up watching Campus Comedies. The movie exists in fantasy college land where big-breasted girls walk around campus constantly looking for sex, Campus parties are huge and only rarely broken up. He also cast three Alumni in supporting roles in the film, The guy from the revenge of the nerds movies, Tom Everett Scott (Dead Man on Campus), and Tim Matherson ( Animal House).
The movie centers on the title character Van Wilder who is in his 7th year of grad. School. What would be the point in leaving? He is treated like a god there, has young girls throw themselves at him, and can throws legendary parties. He is so busy he has to hire an assistant, who takes the job so Wilder can help him get laid before he goes back to India. He is a hell of a guy, and I imagine Ferris Bueller was like this in College.
Wilder also looks after the little guy quite often helping nerds get laid, raising money for struggling school clubs, counseling various other students, and befriending “sick” boy. Of course there are the rival rich kids who want to make lots of money when the graduate and hang out in the frat house all day. Of course the head of the frat is the boyfriend of Wilder’s love interest. Of course they are going to engage in childish pranks.
A lot of the humor works, particularly Wilder’s great one liners, but some of the gross out humor tries too hard, and a hand full of the many slapstick gags are lame. One of most bizarre sequences is when Wilder pays a stripper to fart on a friend. The problem with this kind of movie is when the jokes fail they really FAIL. Perhaps they should have replaced some of the lame gross jokes with funny dialogue the were apparently able to write (at least for wilder) instead. There are jokes about the size of Wilder’s dog’s testicles which work almost every time though.
Since Wilder has been in school so long his dad has cut off his funding, so Wilder has to pay for what looks to be his last semester. Wilder sticks with what he knows being hired to throw parties, and even starting a topless tutoring business.
Tara Reid shows up as the campus reporter trying to get an interview with him, but he tries turning all the interviews into dates. Of course a love story develops, cause you don’t pay Tara Reid to act you pay her to look good and be chased after. Despite some sick gags, the movie ends on a sweet note with Wilder
questioning his future. If you hate movies with potty humor, stay far away. You know who you are. Although its not the best in its genre (two demerits for ripping off American Pie, which ripped off Dumb and Dumber by using the same exact joke) its worth a rental. Its hard to really hate a movie with a character like Van Wilder who zooms around campus in a golf cart. This movie flopped in the theaters but, now that its own DVD it has the potential to find an audience much like movies such as Office Space and Austin Powers did…WRITE THAT DOWN!
Grade:
B-
Mulholland Drive
I never watched a David Lynch movie in my life till the other night. Since this movie had been out for almost a year, I forgot what it was supposed to be about. Apparently, that does not make any difference. I still don’t. To his credit the movie is hypnotic visually, and there are some techniques not used since the 70’s and some great camera angels. However, a good deal of the acting is sup bar, and to say the movie is incoherent is an understatement.
The main plot is about some girl who was in accident staying with a would be actress, and trying to remember who she is. Meanwhile some director is beating threatened by some old white dudes to put a certain girl in his play. Character actor Dan Hedya shows up for two minutes for no particular reason. Eventually the director gets threatened by a random cowboy, and that’s when I pretty much gave up on following the movie.
Other people show up in the movie, like a guy telling a friend about a dream at a diner, and a hitman who’s job goes comically awry (and violently) but that have nothing to do with anything and most of them are never heard or seen again or have anything to do with any other character in the entire movie.
The movie gets even harder to grasp when it changes gears out of no where and becomes like one of those movies Prism used to run late at night when the two girls start getting it on! Than characters change names and morph into other people for no reason, there is a corpse, something to do with a box and blue keys, a 5 inch elderly couple ran around like crazy. People get emotional about stuff. Then the credits roll.
After seeing the movie I thought I was dumb, but I read the reviews of it online, and no one got the movie either. Yet they called it a masterpiece. I admit the movie stays with you a while and is innovative in some ways, but in now ways is it a masterpiece! The more I read the more I had to back it up. Mullhoand Drive was originally shot as a pilot for ABC, but was never picked up. The majority of that it left in the film, but other stuff is added to make it into a movie. I guess when the nudity begins is when the pilot ends. A movie has to make some sort of sense in order to be a masterpiece. You can watch this movie on your DVD play and hit random, and it makes about as much sense. Lynch should get an award for making so many people think he is a genius. I mean I am all for new forms of movie making and it does mess with your mind, but I prefer movies that make sense which I don’t think Lynch ever intended to do. For a good mind trip rent Memento, Dark City, or Vanilla Sky, they actually have a story.
Grade: C
Say Anything
I finally checked this flick out even though its over a decade old. Mainly cause it has John Cusack and was directed by Cameron Crowe. The movie was a bit of a chick flick, but it was really well done so I didn’t mind watching it alone in a dark room. The father from fraiser turns in a good performance. It’s a honest movie a trait anyone who ever watched Almost Famous could easily pick out as a Crowe trademark.
Cusack has a knack for playing the everyman role and is very memorable in this role. The movie is different from most of the 80’s teen flicks, because it is not about sex its an actual love story. That sounded pretty gay, I am going to go out back and build something with my hands….
Grade: B +
“Three DVDs, a guy and some down time”
Here is a run down on my latest Blockbuster run.
National Lampoon’s Van Wilder
Rated R 2002
Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid
The guy who wrote and directed National Lampoon’s must have grown up watching Campus Comedies. The movie exists in fantasy college land where big-breasted girls walk around campus constantly looking for sex, Campus parties are huge and only rarely broken up. He also cast three Alumni in supporting roles in the film, The guy from the revenge of the nerds movies, Tom Everett Scott (Dead Man on Campus), and Tim Matherson ( Animal House).
The movie centers on the title character Van Wilder who is in his 7th year of grad. School. What would be the point in leaving? He is treated like a god there, has young girls throw themselves at him, and can throws legendary parties. He is so busy he has to hire an assistant, who takes the job so Wilder can help him get laid before he goes back to India. He is a hell of a guy, and I imagine Ferris Bueller was like this in College.
Wilder also looks after the little guy quite often helping nerds get laid, raising money for struggling school clubs, counseling various other students, and befriending “sick” boy. Of course there are the rival rich kids who want to make lots of money when the graduate and hang out in the frat house all day. Of course the head of the frat is the boyfriend of Wilder’s love interest. Of course they are going to engage in childish pranks.
A lot of the humor works, particularly Wilder’s great one liners, but some of the gross out humor tries too hard, and a hand full of the many slapstick gags are lame. One of most bizarre sequences is when Wilder pays a stripper to fart on a friend. The problem with this kind of movie is when the jokes fail they really FAIL. Perhaps they should have replaced some of the lame gross jokes with funny dialogue the were apparently able to write (at least for wilder) instead. There are jokes about the size of Wilder’s dog’s testicles which work almost every time though.
Since Wilder has been in school so long his dad has cut off his funding, so Wilder has to pay for what looks to be his last semester. Wilder sticks with what he knows being hired to throw parties, and even starting a topless tutoring business.
Tara Reid shows up as the campus reporter trying to get an interview with him, but he tries turning all the interviews into dates. Of course a love story develops, cause you don’t pay Tara Reid to act you pay her to look good and be chased after. Despite some sick gags, the movie ends on a sweet note with Wilder
questioning his future. If you hate movies with potty humor, stay far away. You know who you are. Although its not the best in its genre (two demerits for ripping off American Pie, which ripped off Dumb and Dumber by using the same exact joke) its worth a rental. Its hard to really hate a movie with a character like Van Wilder who zooms around campus in a golf cart. This movie flopped in the theaters but, now that its own DVD it has the potential to find an audience much like movies such as Office Space and Austin Powers did…WRITE THAT DOWN!
Grade:
B-
Mulholland Drive
I never watched a David Lynch movie in my life till the other night. Since this movie had been out for almost a year, I forgot what it was supposed to be about. Apparently, that does not make any difference. I still don’t. To his credit the movie is hypnotic visually, and there are some techniques not used since the 70’s and some great camera angels. However, a good deal of the acting is sup bar, and to say the movie is incoherent is an understatement.
The main plot is about some girl who was in accident staying with a would be actress, and trying to remember who she is. Meanwhile some director is beating threatened by some old white dudes to put a certain girl in his play. Character actor Dan Hedya shows up for two minutes for no particular reason. Eventually the director gets threatened by a random cowboy, and that’s when I pretty much gave up on following the movie.
Other people show up in the movie, like a guy telling a friend about a dream at a diner, and a hitman who’s job goes comically awry (and violently) but that have nothing to do with anything and most of them are never heard or seen again or have anything to do with any other character in the entire movie.
The movie gets even harder to grasp when it changes gears out of no where and becomes like one of those movies Prism used to run late at night when the two girls start getting it on! Than characters change names and morph into other people for no reason, there is a corpse, something to do with a box and blue keys, a 5 inch elderly couple ran around like crazy. People get emotional about stuff. Then the credits roll.
After seeing the movie I thought I was dumb, but I read the reviews of it online, and no one got the movie either. Yet they called it a masterpiece. I admit the movie stays with you a while and is innovative in some ways, but in now ways is it a masterpiece! The more I read the more I had to back it up. Mullhoand Drive was originally shot as a pilot for ABC, but was never picked up. The majority of that it left in the film, but other stuff is added to make it into a movie. I guess when the nudity begins is when the pilot ends. A movie has to make some sort of sense in order to be a masterpiece. You can watch this movie on your DVD play and hit random, and it makes about as much sense. Lynch should get an award for making so many people think he is a genius. I mean I am all for new forms of movie making and it does mess with your mind, but I prefer movies that make sense which I don’t think Lynch ever intended to do. For a good mind trip rent Memento, Dark City, or Vanilla Sky, they actually have a story.
Grade: C
Say Anything
I finally checked this flick out even though its over a decade old. Mainly cause it has John Cusack and was directed by Cameron Crowe. The movie was a bit of a chick flick, but it was really well done so I didn’t mind watching it alone in a dark room. The father from fraiser turns in a good performance. It’s a honest movie a trait anyone who ever watched Almost Famous could easily pick out as a Crowe trademark.
Cusack has a knack for playing the everyman role and is very memorable in this role. The movie is different from most of the 80’s teen flicks, because it is not about sex its an actual love story. That sounded pretty gay, I am going to go out back and build something with my hands….
Grade: B +
[edit]
[8/27/2002 1:25:13 AM | keith H]
"Fresh Skates"
Two slacker hockey players will get a 2nd chance this coming season. One of which will be wearing the Orange and Black and the other one wore it briefly.
Pavel Brendle who was acquired in the Lindros trade last season, is going to be given a 2nd chance to crack the line up this season. Brendle was supposed to be the key factor in the trade, and part of an all Czech line. However injuries and an early season trade put an end to that. Brendle found no room in the inn when players like the scrappy Marty Murray and new comer Donald Brasher came and carved out niches on the team.
Brendle played for the Phantoms most the year, and certainly wasn't a fan favorite. He is often jeered for his lack of heart and drive, but many people think the skill to be a top NHL player is there. Due to injuries and flat out desperation he played the last two post season games for the Flyers, but all was already lost at that point.
The good news is that he have been working his butt off this summer, and is in shape and ready to go. Certainly, the new coach will not take any slacking off from Pavel. People have already penciled him on a line with new Center Michael Handzus who was picked up in the offseason. It is now or never if he wants to be an NHL player.
Meanwhile after two years of partying and playing in a roller league with 40 yearold men. Alexander Daigle has either had a change of heart or blew all his money on fake CA girls, cause he is ready to rejoin the NHL. San Jose called him up this summer, and he was all ready to go. Till Super Mario called him up and asked him to play for the Penguins. So perhaps Daigle is serious if he is going to leave the West coast, and playing with Mario won't hurt either.
I doubt Daigle will pan out though, he will soon get bored, zone out and skate around aimlessly as usual. Hopefully the penguins pay him very little seeing as where there millions of dollars in debt. If he finds the night life in Pittsburgh lame maybe should get Kevin Steven's number or something. He certainly won't put up good numbers for the penguins. Oh well
ps
the comment thing is still not working..im close to giving up. Can anyone out there pleassssssse help!!!!?!?!?
email me for feed back on Tucker's world
[8/27/2002 1:25:13 AM | keith H]
"Fresh Skates"
Two slacker hockey players will get a 2nd chance this coming season. One of which will be wearing the Orange and Black and the other one wore it briefly.
Pavel Brendle who was acquired in the Lindros trade last season, is going to be given a 2nd chance to crack the line up this season. Brendle was supposed to be the key factor in the trade, and part of an all Czech line. However injuries and an early season trade put an end to that. Brendle found no room in the inn when players like the scrappy Marty Murray and new comer Donald Brasher came and carved out niches on the team.
Brendle played for the Phantoms most the year, and certainly wasn't a fan favorite. He is often jeered for his lack of heart and drive, but many people think the skill to be a top NHL player is there. Due to injuries and flat out desperation he played the last two post season games for the Flyers, but all was already lost at that point.
The good news is that he have been working his butt off this summer, and is in shape and ready to go. Certainly, the new coach will not take any slacking off from Pavel. People have already penciled him on a line with new Center Michael Handzus who was picked up in the offseason. It is now or never if he wants to be an NHL player.
Meanwhile after two years of partying and playing in a roller league with 40 yearold men. Alexander Daigle has either had a change of heart or blew all his money on fake CA girls, cause he is ready to rejoin the NHL. San Jose called him up this summer, and he was all ready to go. Till Super Mario called him up and asked him to play for the Penguins. So perhaps Daigle is serious if he is going to leave the West coast, and playing with Mario won't hurt either.
I doubt Daigle will pan out though, he will soon get bored, zone out and skate around aimlessly as usual. Hopefully the penguins pay him very little seeing as where there millions of dollars in debt. If he finds the night life in Pittsburgh lame maybe should get Kevin Steven's number or something. He certainly won't put up good numbers for the penguins. Oh well
ps
the comment thing is still not working..im close to giving up. Can anyone out there pleassssssse help!!!!?!?!?
email me for feed back on Tucker's world
[8/22/2002 8:45:48 PM | keith H]
"The Net"
Last night I returned home from a night out with my friends. My ritual of checking my e-mail before I go to bed was especially sweet last night because I figured people would have become aware of Tucker's world at this point.
YOU GOT MAIL exclaimed an excited Steve Chase...but that would have to wait. It's time to see what comments await for me on my infant Blog. Sadly there not a sole welcomed Tucker's World to Cyber Space. So I figured it test the system and post a mock comment. Much to my surprise I neglected to add this feature to my site.
Ah, I will just go into my settings and make a few corrections and away we go! With in a few minutes I humbled myself and resorted to the "?" Icon. I asked kindly about adding a comments feature to Tucker's World. I knew this was possible and I don't doubt it has been accomplished by retarded kids and gifted apes. However I soon discover that you have to go to a third party in order to add on this feature. We can use computers to make Mick Jaggar look 30 and put our heads together in order to create a featherless chicken, but we have not mastered the comments feature on the Blog system.
Anyway, an entire list of third parties jumps on my screen which are preceded by what type of computer software and various other requirements are ideal for running the program. Well, I know my Computer can't do what Richard Pryor's did in Superman III, but would like to think it could do what Dan K.'s did in 1996. So I randomly select a few the 1st one involves me filling out too much so I grow tired of it. The 2nd one tells me how easy it is. When I complete the form it tells my they are no longer accepting people. I felt like I just got turned away at some sort of cyber space night club. Finally I find one that I can follow. So I do what is told cutting and pasting URL links amongst the wonderful world of HTML that lurks under the crust of Tucker's world.
Sadly everytime I hit save settings nothing appears any different when I view the site. So I play around some more turning my HTML for this site into some sort of primitive verision of Tetris. I went to my friends for tech support, Ryan simply said eh, apparently Rick's weak spot is HTML, Drew must have some sort of life because he wasn't answering his phone all day, and perhaps only Dan K can allow the 4 people that read Tucker's world to respond. But since he could undoubtedly do this minutes after leaving his mother uterus it is a bit humbling for me. I will figure something out.
Oh well for now just email me at Mst3keith@aol.com to comment and sit back and enjoy my column.
"The Net"
Last night I returned home from a night out with my friends. My ritual of checking my e-mail before I go to bed was especially sweet last night because I figured people would have become aware of Tucker's world at this point.
YOU GOT MAIL exclaimed an excited Steve Chase...but that would have to wait. It's time to see what comments await for me on my infant Blog. Sadly there not a sole welcomed Tucker's World to Cyber Space. So I figured it test the system and post a mock comment. Much to my surprise I neglected to add this feature to my site.
Ah, I will just go into my settings and make a few corrections and away we go! With in a few minutes I humbled myself and resorted to the "?" Icon. I asked kindly about adding a comments feature to Tucker's World. I knew this was possible and I don't doubt it has been accomplished by retarded kids and gifted apes. However I soon discover that you have to go to a third party in order to add on this feature. We can use computers to make Mick Jaggar look 30 and put our heads together in order to create a featherless chicken, but we have not mastered the comments feature on the Blog system.
Anyway, an entire list of third parties jumps on my screen which are preceded by what type of computer software and various other requirements are ideal for running the program. Well, I know my Computer can't do what Richard Pryor's did in Superman III, but would like to think it could do what Dan K.'s did in 1996. So I randomly select a few the 1st one involves me filling out too much so I grow tired of it. The 2nd one tells me how easy it is. When I complete the form it tells my they are no longer accepting people. I felt like I just got turned away at some sort of cyber space night club. Finally I find one that I can follow. So I do what is told cutting and pasting URL links amongst the wonderful world of HTML that lurks under the crust of Tucker's world.
Sadly everytime I hit save settings nothing appears any different when I view the site. So I play around some more turning my HTML for this site into some sort of primitive verision of Tetris. I went to my friends for tech support, Ryan simply said eh, apparently Rick's weak spot is HTML, Drew must have some sort of life because he wasn't answering his phone all day, and perhaps only Dan K can allow the 4 people that read Tucker's world to respond. But since he could undoubtedly do this minutes after leaving his mother uterus it is a bit humbling for me. I will figure something out.
Oh well for now just email me at Mst3keith@aol.com to comment and sit back and enjoy my column.
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