“Ryan’s Streaks”
Say what you want about my good friend Ryan. One thing you would all have to agree on it he is certainly a man of streaks. I can recall streaks with him going back years ago. Some of them funny, others frustrating when trying to make plans with him. Most of them spring out of nowhere and have no significance what so ever.
I recall his no going into movie theaters streak one summer whenever I wanted to see a movie. I knew I couldn’t call Ryan, because of his streak. He had a no going to the beach streak one time when were about 15 or so just in time for me to come down and visit his family at the shore. He flat out refused to go to the beach or leave the house. He just wanted to watch TV and sleep. He left me sitting there my first day down all fired up to have some fun awkwardly sitting with his grandfather watching the Phillies as he slept.
Eventually I got him to go to the boardwalk for brief time. This was after watching It’s Pat the movie with commercials no less being broadcast on WPIX’s Saturday afternoon movie. Despite it being a beautiful summer day at the shore, we spend the peak hours watching a straight to video horribly unfunny movie with commericals.
The other streak included various streaks aimed at people he chose not to see. However, his most famous streak was easily his Life Is Good T-shirt streak. One fateful day Jenna, Ryan and I were on the boardwalk in Ocean City. It might have been in 1999 I don’t recall. We were in cloud 9 when we found a yellow-shirt with a stick guy on it holding an ice cream cone and stating life was good. I told him it was a great shirt and he should wear it all summer long. The joke turned into reality when he wore the shirt 98 days in a row with little or no washing. It ran from Memorial Day to Labor Day ironically most of us graduated in 1998.
There was the week or two one winter when he had a no driving streak, and snow piled up on his car as it sat idle. He would schedule plans as if he had no car.
Ryan who decided to distance himself from the crew for the most part last September might have started yet another streak. The other night I was over his house, and asked him if he had read Tucker’s World lately. He had mention he couldn’t remember the last time he read it. Than he thought some, more and admitted, he had not been on the Internet the entire month of March maybe longer. Could this be yet another streak in the making? Is Ryan going to be Internet free for the rest of 2003?
Who knows…but that sounds like our wacky Ryan! You never know what silly streak he will come up with next!
Friday, April 04, 2003
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
“Dream Job”
Many Americans are seeking employment right now. As a service to my readers, I am going to take today to write about a job that may in fact be the last job you have, because of how great it is. Let me break it down for you and you can let me know if the job is for you.
What You Will Do:
You have the privilege of repeating the same pieces of information to the dregs of society, stuck up yuppies, or people who just simply can’t speak a lick of English. Many of your potential customers will reek of foul body order or will talk in a derogatory manner. Many of the people you work with will have an IQ less than the number of times Ryan actually picks up his cell phone in a given month.
When there aren’t many customers in the store (quite often lately since the merchandise prices keep rising amongst competition and a slumping economy) you get pace the floor like a mindless drone. You can repetitively open and close doors to our merchandise or zone out. Others prefer to pretend they are actually doing some sort of work. If you are truly honored you get to wipe down the merchandise or do pointless menial busy work. Sometimes you can interact with your co-workers most of which make the products will sell seem like better conversationalists. When you do start to have an enjoyable time, management will promptly scold you and separate anyone appearing to be enjoying their day.
Who Do You Work Along With?
You can work closely with management who for the most part get dumber as you climb the corporate ladder. Every manger will have different policies that contradict that of others few of which actually make sense or benefit you or the store.
How Much Will I Get Paid?
Well you start off with slightly over minimum wage. However if you work hard enough and do what needs to be told you can likely get a raise that consists of ¼ a dollar per year. The longer you stay with the company the less of an increase you get annually.
Are There Rooms For Advancement?
I am glad you asked that! Because there certainly are. Granted the work is no more rewarding and the pay increase is laughable but the real incentive is less interaction with the customers. The higher up you climb the more time you are given to be able to hide from the eyes of the customers. That is basically the only incentive. The few times you do deal with customers is when they are horribly irate. Many times it’s a result of faulty merchandise or damage to their home as result of using our products. If you get to the highest point in the company you don’t have to take any of your phone calls, let alone return them, and have to know little or nothing about the merchandise. Lack of reasonable business sense is a preferred.
What Kind of Environment Will You Work In?
You get to work along with mostly two faced people and ones willing to stab you in the back for their own personal gain (so they don’t have to deal with customers). You also get under rules and regulations that change more often than the Allen Iverson utters the phrase “What’s Up Catdady?”
The actual facility resembles that of a dungeon with its horribly depressing décor. The open windows your only link to the outside world almost mock you for your 8 hour incarceration. Despite the fact we boast satellite TV you will not be able to utilize this luxury. No, you that would count as contact with the outside world. You must be subject to the same 8 minute segment provided by the DISH NETWORK because two people talking about the DISH is much more appealing than say a televised sporting event. If you become filled with murderous rage towards the two hosts of the program. don’t worry…its perfectly normal. Don’t bother to try to active news networks because actually wanting to keep in formed about your country being at war will not be tolerated.
What Kind Of Hours Will I Work?
We don’t even know, because your schedule will change frequently. Occasionally without warning.
All Holidays and weekends are certain to be pissed away why you push pennies us.
Do I get any incentive to do sell?
You get 10 dollars if you successfully dupe the senile, uneducated, naïve, or the finically trapped into paying our corporation money in hopes that the products we sell them don’t break in a mere 5 years. Many times this fee is half the price (or more) of the actual machine. It’s important that you should not let on that the MOST people that service what they we sell are lazy, shady, inept, ignorant, and rarely show up when they make an appointment on time if at all.
Sometimes you get candy.
How Do I Apply?
Go out your front door and look to the sky. Now get into your car and drive towards the dark cloud. You might want to back various different forms of clothing because the climate control in the store is about as dependable as a Dave Roberts forecast. So if this sounds like the place for you to work. Stop in and see us because we are hiring. My friend Jenna and I will be the ones trying to topple Maytag Neptune Stackable Washer/Dryer combos over on ourselves.
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
“Blog Warriors”
When I started a Blog back in September, not only did I have to explain to be people who Tucker was, but also what a Blog actually was. Now they have popped up like weeds all over the internet. Many people use it as a soap box and many use it for political views. I am glad I will have files to go back to in the future of these times.
One of the most read blogs out there right now is one written by an Iraqi. Of course it could very easily be written by some fat guy in Iowa, but after hearing about it on the news this weekend I checked it out. It is a good read.
Here check this out if you aren’t already over whelmed by the war coverage. It gives you an idea of what the Iraqi people are thinking, or at least this particular one. Cut and Paste and check it out.
http://dearraed.blogspot.com/
p.s. The North Korea Leader is Kim-JONG II
When I started a Blog back in September, not only did I have to explain to be people who Tucker was, but also what a Blog actually was. Now they have popped up like weeds all over the internet. Many people use it as a soap box and many use it for political views. I am glad I will have files to go back to in the future of these times.
One of the most read blogs out there right now is one written by an Iraqi. Of course it could very easily be written by some fat guy in Iowa, but after hearing about it on the news this weekend I checked it out. It is a good read.
Here check this out if you aren’t already over whelmed by the war coverage. It gives you an idea of what the Iraqi people are thinking, or at least this particular one. Cut and Paste and check it out.
http://dearraed.blogspot.com/
p.s. The North Korea Leader is Kim-JONG II
Sunday, March 30, 2003
“Leaf Blowing”
Well looks like the Flyers are destined to point their skates at the Toronto Maple Leafs baring a mathematical miracle. These two teams have been checking each other out for months. In fact they actually went out and got players in anticipation for each other.
Now the Flyers are playing fairly well but are up against some of the weakest opponents in the league most of which are already thinking about the golf course instead of the hockey rink. Meanwhile the leafs has suffered massive injuries including Doug Gilmour, Glenn Wesly, and Gord Roberts who has barely played all year. Meanwhile I have read that they have had some Flyer like locker room turmoil with players being angry at Darcy Tucker regarding a dirty hit.
The leafs are a dirty team and will try to scare the Flyers off their system, and Ed Belfour has the tendency to catch fire come playoff season. While I was glad to be proven wrong about the Flyers goalie situation I fear Check-Os mild groin pull might become a sidelining injury. It is common knowledge in the league this point of his injury. So don’t be surprised if the leafs (most likely Tucker) take intended runs at our goalie. It is going to be an ugly series and I fear if the Flyers goals fall short of expectations early on they might get down on themselves.
You know right now that leafs are studying the white hot line of Amonte, Murray, and JR. They likely already have players to in mind to combat them. As for the Flyers when Gagne returns I hope they don’t displace Marty Murray for him, because if it isn’t broken….
The easy schedule is good and bad for the Flyers. It’s good because our players can run up their points to perhaps have other fans around the league stop bending over in laughter looking at how many points our leading scorer has. Also the fact that they are scoring goals is good for moral and will make them think their goal scoring curse has been lifted. At the same time it could be bad because it could be a false sense of security. The reality of the playoffs might hit them like sunlight blinding Dan K’s face after a weekend in a dark apartment.
It’s hard to figure out what the Flyers will do against the leafs. Since I am a die hard, people keep and will continue to ask me what the outcome will be. Although I am posting my predictions on here once they have the match ups set I don’t honestly think I can form an opinion to after I see game 1. I simply don’t know. All I know is that Lima Beanz is a jerk.
Make sure you scroll down and read the other entry for today.
Well looks like the Flyers are destined to point their skates at the Toronto Maple Leafs baring a mathematical miracle. These two teams have been checking each other out for months. In fact they actually went out and got players in anticipation for each other.
Now the Flyers are playing fairly well but are up against some of the weakest opponents in the league most of which are already thinking about the golf course instead of the hockey rink. Meanwhile the leafs has suffered massive injuries including Doug Gilmour, Glenn Wesly, and Gord Roberts who has barely played all year. Meanwhile I have read that they have had some Flyer like locker room turmoil with players being angry at Darcy Tucker regarding a dirty hit.
The leafs are a dirty team and will try to scare the Flyers off their system, and Ed Belfour has the tendency to catch fire come playoff season. While I was glad to be proven wrong about the Flyers goalie situation I fear Check-Os mild groin pull might become a sidelining injury. It is common knowledge in the league this point of his injury. So don’t be surprised if the leafs (most likely Tucker) take intended runs at our goalie. It is going to be an ugly series and I fear if the Flyers goals fall short of expectations early on they might get down on themselves.
You know right now that leafs are studying the white hot line of Amonte, Murray, and JR. They likely already have players to in mind to combat them. As for the Flyers when Gagne returns I hope they don’t displace Marty Murray for him, because if it isn’t broken….
The easy schedule is good and bad for the Flyers. It’s good because our players can run up their points to perhaps have other fans around the league stop bending over in laughter looking at how many points our leading scorer has. Also the fact that they are scoring goals is good for moral and will make them think their goal scoring curse has been lifted. At the same time it could be bad because it could be a false sense of security. The reality of the playoffs might hit them like sunlight blinding Dan K’s face after a weekend in a dark apartment.
It’s hard to figure out what the Flyers will do against the leafs. Since I am a die hard, people keep and will continue to ask me what the outcome will be. Although I am posting my predictions on here once they have the match ups set I don’t honestly think I can form an opinion to after I see game 1. I simply don’t know. All I know is that Lima Beanz is a jerk.
Make sure you scroll down and read the other entry for today.
“The War That Nobody Wanted”
Living in the ultra-liberal state of New Jersey it’s hard to gage realistically if the general public supports the war. I know all of Hollywood with the exception of a few such as Dennis Miller are against the war. Its nice of our celebrities to take time between snorting lines of cocaine to tell people who spend 9 dollars to see their movies what we should all be thinking.
Michael Moore may have made himself a household name this past week with his tirade at the Oscars. Even if you agree with his views I doubt anyone can refer to his as a “fake” war. Perhaps his eyes were still messed up from counting hanging chads and he couldn’t quite make out all the US marines putting their lives on the line.
In Hollywood’s defense, they did not always bash American policies. Even the King himself served for his country. Screen legend James Stewart flew and took part in many important American missions in World War II. However, like the films back than good and evil were black and white.
People will quickly point to the number of protestors against the war. But there are very few people that support the military campaign would be comfortable carrying sides DROP THE BOMB ON SADDAM down the streets of New York or other such cites. Nobody WANTS WAR! Support the troops rallies don’t count as pro-war, because you can support the troops and not the war. Like Drew (writer of his own bog TERMINUS). I would imagine many Hollywood people that support the war effort would keep their mouth shut out of fear of losing work. Of course if we had such a vast means of communications during World War II, I bet Americans would be hollering about picking on that poor Hitler guy.
In the past week many anti-war activist have almost over night turned into military experts and are already pointing out campaign blunders. Democrats are likely secretly slapping high-fives for every hour that passes by that we don’t fine evidence that Saddam has chemical weapons intending to harm the US, our allies, and US interests. As sick as that sounds that gives them a way to get back into the white house.
If we do find “The Smoking Gun” I don’t except anyone like Michael Moore to apologize for his remarks. Perhaps other countries faces will turn the color of the Red Wings road jersey if at the end of the day war was justified and it turned out we did do the world some good. If no weapons are found freeing innocent people from Iraq wouldn’t be enough for people to all come together on the issue. The people slamming the campaign a mere week and half in are also slamming any attempt to maintain a stable government over there without forcing all the Iraqis to wear I love America t-shirts. If this happens I bet Comcast starts a monopoly, so the people of Iraqi have horrendous cable service just like us.
Even people that think we are fighting the right fight have trouble stomaching the news, the images of dead children, burning buildings, lost of life of civilians, and US soldiers. In my case watching Baghdad in flames made me wonder how horrifying it would be to see US cities a blaze. If it turns out what was alleged was true perhaps at the end of the day it will be worth it. I hope so at this point. I pray so because I wouldn’t want anyone to die for no reason.
Many people fear the condition of Iraq in the postwar era, but I fear more for the condition of the US. Despite the fact chants of US can be heard at various sports stadiums I fear this war will tear the people of the country apart more than bring them together. How many heated exchanges have their been so far? Fights have broken out over beliefs.
I don’t know if anyone can judge about history when you’re on the first page of a chapter. The war is far from over, and people should wait for things to play out before they start blasting the intelligence and decisions of our armed forces. It hard to see families of fallen US soldiers, even more heart breaking if they think their child died for an unworthy cause.
From what I heard our relationships with foreign countries is in about as good shape as Veteran’s Stadium. Second to Iraq is North Korea (and not to mention the damn FRENCH) lead by Kim Jong-Il who is stamping up and down and shouting for us to pay attention to him. Granted he doesn’t like much of his neighboring countries either (and vice versa) but his main beef is with the good old U S of A . Most people close to the situation believe that it has to do with money. I wouldn’t be surprised it would be a great time to try to pick pocket Uncle Sam. Maybe the people of his country were just subjected the American export known as Kangaroo Jack. Perhaps his penis is even smaller than mine is so he is upset about it. Seriously, I just hope (and really think) this war can be fought with words and maybe he will learn not to mess with us after we finish with Iraq. If he wants money, he might want to send his resume to BUZZFLASH.
When the images of this war become history and the smoke clears it will be time to measure the impact on the US and the validity of the cause. I hope if they find Saddam alive someone would spit in his face. I don’t think everyone will able to forgive things such as the lost of a loved one, and I guarantee that the after the war people will still be divided about this conflict. Maybe even more than now when there are empty beds and single more single parents. Certainly more than my younger readers have ever seen, and perhaps more than ever in decades. I just hope that we don’t have to omit the part about being indivisible along with under God in our pledge of allegiance. Because that’s just what the enemy wants.
Living in the ultra-liberal state of New Jersey it’s hard to gage realistically if the general public supports the war. I know all of Hollywood with the exception of a few such as Dennis Miller are against the war. Its nice of our celebrities to take time between snorting lines of cocaine to tell people who spend 9 dollars to see their movies what we should all be thinking.
Michael Moore may have made himself a household name this past week with his tirade at the Oscars. Even if you agree with his views I doubt anyone can refer to his as a “fake” war. Perhaps his eyes were still messed up from counting hanging chads and he couldn’t quite make out all the US marines putting their lives on the line.
In Hollywood’s defense, they did not always bash American policies. Even the King himself served for his country. Screen legend James Stewart flew and took part in many important American missions in World War II. However, like the films back than good and evil were black and white.
People will quickly point to the number of protestors against the war. But there are very few people that support the military campaign would be comfortable carrying sides DROP THE BOMB ON SADDAM down the streets of New York or other such cites. Nobody WANTS WAR! Support the troops rallies don’t count as pro-war, because you can support the troops and not the war. Like Drew (writer of his own bog TERMINUS). I would imagine many Hollywood people that support the war effort would keep their mouth shut out of fear of losing work. Of course if we had such a vast means of communications during World War II, I bet Americans would be hollering about picking on that poor Hitler guy.
In the past week many anti-war activist have almost over night turned into military experts and are already pointing out campaign blunders. Democrats are likely secretly slapping high-fives for every hour that passes by that we don’t fine evidence that Saddam has chemical weapons intending to harm the US, our allies, and US interests. As sick as that sounds that gives them a way to get back into the white house.
If we do find “The Smoking Gun” I don’t except anyone like Michael Moore to apologize for his remarks. Perhaps other countries faces will turn the color of the Red Wings road jersey if at the end of the day war was justified and it turned out we did do the world some good. If no weapons are found freeing innocent people from Iraq wouldn’t be enough for people to all come together on the issue. The people slamming the campaign a mere week and half in are also slamming any attempt to maintain a stable government over there without forcing all the Iraqis to wear I love America t-shirts. If this happens I bet Comcast starts a monopoly, so the people of Iraqi have horrendous cable service just like us.
Even people that think we are fighting the right fight have trouble stomaching the news, the images of dead children, burning buildings, lost of life of civilians, and US soldiers. In my case watching Baghdad in flames made me wonder how horrifying it would be to see US cities a blaze. If it turns out what was alleged was true perhaps at the end of the day it will be worth it. I hope so at this point. I pray so because I wouldn’t want anyone to die for no reason.
Many people fear the condition of Iraq in the postwar era, but I fear more for the condition of the US. Despite the fact chants of US can be heard at various sports stadiums I fear this war will tear the people of the country apart more than bring them together. How many heated exchanges have their been so far? Fights have broken out over beliefs.
I don’t know if anyone can judge about history when you’re on the first page of a chapter. The war is far from over, and people should wait for things to play out before they start blasting the intelligence and decisions of our armed forces. It hard to see families of fallen US soldiers, even more heart breaking if they think their child died for an unworthy cause.
From what I heard our relationships with foreign countries is in about as good shape as Veteran’s Stadium. Second to Iraq is North Korea (and not to mention the damn FRENCH) lead by Kim Jong-Il who is stamping up and down and shouting for us to pay attention to him. Granted he doesn’t like much of his neighboring countries either (and vice versa) but his main beef is with the good old U S of A . Most people close to the situation believe that it has to do with money. I wouldn’t be surprised it would be a great time to try to pick pocket Uncle Sam. Maybe the people of his country were just subjected the American export known as Kangaroo Jack. Perhaps his penis is even smaller than mine is so he is upset about it. Seriously, I just hope (and really think) this war can be fought with words and maybe he will learn not to mess with us after we finish with Iraq. If he wants money, he might want to send his resume to BUZZFLASH.
When the images of this war become history and the smoke clears it will be time to measure the impact on the US and the validity of the cause. I hope if they find Saddam alive someone would spit in his face. I don’t think everyone will able to forgive things such as the lost of a loved one, and I guarantee that the after the war people will still be divided about this conflict. Maybe even more than now when there are empty beds and single more single parents. Certainly more than my younger readers have ever seen, and perhaps more than ever in decades. I just hope that we don’t have to omit the part about being indivisible along with under God in our pledge of allegiance. Because that’s just what the enemy wants.
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