"Stadium Goes Down, Baby Comes Out"
Veterans Stadium sits at the corner of South Philly as it always did. The sun rises on the vacant building and pigeon scavengers through discarded soft pretzels from the previous night’s events. The building stands as it always has ready to be pumped full of fans. Hooting and hollering for the good old baseball team the Phillies. The sun will soon bet setting on the life of the Veterans Stadium.
Meanwhile in South Jersey, Jenna sits on the couch at Duke’s apartment as she always did. Inside her an infant child grows, a living and breathing organism. Swimming, kicking and punching and will soon be out grow his or her surroundings. Baby Beanzie increasing is in size and getting stronger. The sun is rising on his or her life.
Veterans Stadium a creaky old building worn down by years gone by has out grown it’s purpose. The building stands in the Philadelphia skyline for now, but its time in the filthy air of the city of brotherly love will soon be over. The building will be broken apart and the pieces will be distributed all over the place. Pieces here and pieces there. The buildings final chapter has arrived, perhaps the final chapter will include some glory for the Phillies before the final page is printed. Maybe the story will leave all the Phillies fans grinning ear to ear.
Baby Beanzie will soon come charging through into the first pages of the story of his or her life. Born into the filthy South Jersey air into a world full of Featherless Chickens, lack of jobs and constant war. Born and ready to make his or her mark on the world. Soon Jenna’s big stomach will be gone and her and Lima Beanz’s first kid will be pooping constantly and looking amazingly at his or her’s surroundings. Likely to leave Jenna grinning ear to ear, because as she told me recently she is extremely excited about getting to see and hold her kid. Who can blame her its such a late part of the pregnancy and its almost time to ready to be a mom! From what I am told they got some really cool stuff, and they only have had on side of their family’s baby shower so far. With very little time left I imagine Lima Beanz’s family shower can’t be too far off. With all the time and excitement his parents must be feeling about being first time grandparents I am sure its going to be a big one. Lima Beanz might be excited too, I think it appears that he refuses to shave until the big day though, so its hard to see him smiling underneath all that manly facial hair.
Soon Veterans Stadium will gone. It will just remain in pictures and us old people when we tell people how things used to be. Back in the day when the Eagles and Phillies resided in the same stadium and all the football players that came to down tore their knees up on the horrible surface.
One story ends, one begins. They both will happen with in the same month of each other or so. The two events coincide. Criss-cross. Baby Beanzie is born, Veterans Stadium is destroyed. Criss-cross. Time is surely against one and for the other. It won’t be long now before the deafening constant screams of another infant child are heard or the sound of a steal ball smashing apart concrete fills echoes through the air.
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Friday, August 01, 2003
“The Article Where Tucker Writes About Wawa, but Can’t Think of an Article Title”
So somewhat recently I was at the Sterling Wawa I had purchased a Daily News and pack of gum. They were impulse items after tapping MAC machine. LIZA and I were going to the casinos that night, and oddly enough, the register seemed to know my destination for the night. It made CHA CHING sound, like the many quarters, I would lose later that night. I figured perhaps it was a cash registers with eerie powers that would accurately predict the customers night.
It wasn’t until I went there again when I started hearing laser sounds as I was being rang up. Bleep, bleep, bleep. It sounds like something out of a bad Sci-fi movie. Some other confusing and equally high pitch sounds follow. Apparently, this is part of the new fancy technology that Wawa is getting themselves into. I have a few theories on what reasons they have for this. Perhaps an inside peak on what went on at the marketing meetings.
1. They want people to have fun why they are spending money.
2. They want to annoy the living piss out of their employees
3. They are giving us Cancer
4. The “laser” sounds make us spend more, and grab other items.
5. I have gone totally insane and there are no laser sounds
6. The machines are starting to give warning signs about their rise to power
7. It’s the government trying out “Alien” technology
So somewhat recently I was at the Sterling Wawa I had purchased a Daily News and pack of gum. They were impulse items after tapping MAC machine. LIZA and I were going to the casinos that night, and oddly enough, the register seemed to know my destination for the night. It made CHA CHING sound, like the many quarters, I would lose later that night. I figured perhaps it was a cash registers with eerie powers that would accurately predict the customers night.
It wasn’t until I went there again when I started hearing laser sounds as I was being rang up. Bleep, bleep, bleep. It sounds like something out of a bad Sci-fi movie. Some other confusing and equally high pitch sounds follow. Apparently, this is part of the new fancy technology that Wawa is getting themselves into. I have a few theories on what reasons they have for this. Perhaps an inside peak on what went on at the marketing meetings.
1. They want people to have fun why they are spending money.
2. They want to annoy the living piss out of their employees
3. They are giving us Cancer
4. The “laser” sounds make us spend more, and grab other items.
5. I have gone totally insane and there are no laser sounds
6. The machines are starting to give warning signs about their rise to power
7. It’s the government trying out “Alien” technology
Thursday, July 31, 2003
“Inside the Trunk”
So I decided to prevent the tempo (my car) from reaching the level of neglect as Duke’s apartment and cleaned out the interior earlier today. This was an exciting way to start my vacation let me tell you.
The car had become quite an embarrassment, several half drank beverages littered the car from various trips to the beach. I also came across many water-damaged items from one of the dozens of times I nonchalantly left my widows down during torrential downpours. These items ranged from a program for my graduation, to mildly important car documentations. I also had a rather large of worthless receipts, and a two-week-old Daily News.
After sucking up all the dirt on the inside of the car I decided that it was time to clean the trunk out for the first time in I don’t know how long. I started by removing the duck blanket used for the beach. I discovered I likely have enough sand in my trunk to justify requiring beach tags for anyone who goes for a spin in the tempo.
I also discovered some severally damaged textbooks that from Rowan that I never sold back. Marketing, Advertising, and Public Relations. They are no going in transit to decay next to the ORIGINAL seats of Veterans Stadium in a South Jersey landfill somewhere. If you want the Public Relations book you can purchase it at the Rowan bookstore. It costs more than a Lobster Dinner. If you have trouble finding it look under the fiction section. If it isn’t there it can certainly be found on the worthless major shelf. Highly recommended for anyone that doesn’t want to land a job were you are actually paid a salary.
I also found an ice scraper that had been buried in the back during the entire brutal winter that just passed. It was truly like looking through times in my life. There was a hanger in there from god knows when. There was Derek Plante’s autograph from one of the first NJF’s and the birth of the Skatezone. Its value rivials the PR book. I also found some random pieces of metal that may or may not be important to my car. A long piece left over from when I got rear ended in 2000.
I found Ed’s old email, a Spanish flash card for the park. It must have been during the time when I actually tried learning the language. However, the best find was an items that I brought over from my old car, the escort. I am sure it made sense to me why I did it at the time. The first item was a bottle of cologne from Dan K. that he left in my first car after a night out at Hot Shots. It was before Dan K. met his girl and we were undoubtly on the prowl I am sure. Of course, our inept pool playing and jokes no one thinks is funny but us would have likely scared them off anyway. The other item it as Peanut crunch bar. This item dates back to my street hockey playing days at Sterling. It was from Junior Year. Making it six years old. I am surprised it didn’t stand up and slap me in the face.
So I decided to prevent the tempo (my car) from reaching the level of neglect as Duke’s apartment and cleaned out the interior earlier today. This was an exciting way to start my vacation let me tell you.
The car had become quite an embarrassment, several half drank beverages littered the car from various trips to the beach. I also came across many water-damaged items from one of the dozens of times I nonchalantly left my widows down during torrential downpours. These items ranged from a program for my graduation, to mildly important car documentations. I also had a rather large of worthless receipts, and a two-week-old Daily News.
After sucking up all the dirt on the inside of the car I decided that it was time to clean the trunk out for the first time in I don’t know how long. I started by removing the duck blanket used for the beach. I discovered I likely have enough sand in my trunk to justify requiring beach tags for anyone who goes for a spin in the tempo.
I also discovered some severally damaged textbooks that from Rowan that I never sold back. Marketing, Advertising, and Public Relations. They are no going in transit to decay next to the ORIGINAL seats of Veterans Stadium in a South Jersey landfill somewhere. If you want the Public Relations book you can purchase it at the Rowan bookstore. It costs more than a Lobster Dinner. If you have trouble finding it look under the fiction section. If it isn’t there it can certainly be found on the worthless major shelf. Highly recommended for anyone that doesn’t want to land a job were you are actually paid a salary.
I also found an ice scraper that had been buried in the back during the entire brutal winter that just passed. It was truly like looking through times in my life. There was a hanger in there from god knows when. There was Derek Plante’s autograph from one of the first NJF’s and the birth of the Skatezone. Its value rivials the PR book. I also found some random pieces of metal that may or may not be important to my car. A long piece left over from when I got rear ended in 2000.
I found Ed’s old email, a Spanish flash card for the park. It must have been during the time when I actually tried learning the language. However, the best find was an items that I brought over from my old car, the escort. I am sure it made sense to me why I did it at the time. The first item was a bottle of cologne from Dan K. that he left in my first car after a night out at Hot Shots. It was before Dan K. met his girl and we were undoubtly on the prowl I am sure. Of course, our inept pool playing and jokes no one thinks is funny but us would have likely scared them off anyway. The other item it as Peanut crunch bar. This item dates back to my street hockey playing days at Sterling. It was from Junior Year. Making it six years old. I am surprised it didn’t stand up and slap me in the face.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
“Tucker’s Goals"
I am going on vacation for week and some days starting Wednesday night 9:30 ish. I am setting myself some goals. We can all see if I actually meet any of them. I hope to clean up.
1. Go to Dowrny park with LIZA, and have a good time. Also not to scream like a little girl or piss myself on any of the scary roller coasters.
2. Hang out at Rich and Rob’s apartment in Collingswood
3. Send out 10 resumes
4. Go to a baseball game, whether it be Riversharks (never been) or a Phillies game (doubtful due to the fact they are on the road most my vacation)
5. See if I can get drunk Keith to come out of his almost half of a year hiatus.
6. Go power sailing
7. Go fishing and hopefully actually catch something.
8. Watch movies with Drew and than over analyze them to the point that we prove we are both complete nerds by dissecting an entertainment form to make us sound intelligent.
9. Go to a little place called Starview Diner
10. Go to the beach
11. Convince Lima Beanz and Jenna to name their child Vern
12. Talk about going to New York City, actually make an effort to get a big group of people to go (an excited about it) touring the big apple, then not actually go.
13. Go swimming in my pool between rain showers.
14. Do something “cool and adventurous” with Steve.
15. See TRAP practice
16. Eat a good hoagie
17. Get a Crew miniature golf night going.
18. Call Tom Tulish
19. Wash the Tempo
20. Enjoy my time with LIZA before she starts school again
21. Become blood brothers with my best friend Lima Beanz.
Okay so I am not serious about the last one, but I am open for suggestions what would be a good use of my free time. As long as its with in reason you can email me suggestions and perhaps I will blog about the event. Of course no one ever emails me with anything for this blog.
I am going on vacation for week and some days starting Wednesday night 9:30 ish. I am setting myself some goals. We can all see if I actually meet any of them. I hope to clean up.
1. Go to Dowrny park with LIZA, and have a good time. Also not to scream like a little girl or piss myself on any of the scary roller coasters.
2. Hang out at Rich and Rob’s apartment in Collingswood
3. Send out 10 resumes
4. Go to a baseball game, whether it be Riversharks (never been) or a Phillies game (doubtful due to the fact they are on the road most my vacation)
5. See if I can get drunk Keith to come out of his almost half of a year hiatus.
6. Go power sailing
7. Go fishing and hopefully actually catch something.
8. Watch movies with Drew and than over analyze them to the point that we prove we are both complete nerds by dissecting an entertainment form to make us sound intelligent.
9. Go to a little place called Starview Diner
10. Go to the beach
11. Convince Lima Beanz and Jenna to name their child Vern
12. Talk about going to New York City, actually make an effort to get a big group of people to go (an excited about it) touring the big apple, then not actually go.
13. Go swimming in my pool between rain showers.
14. Do something “cool and adventurous” with Steve.
15. See TRAP practice
16. Eat a good hoagie
17. Get a Crew miniature golf night going.
18. Call Tom Tulish
19. Wash the Tempo
20. Enjoy my time with LIZA before she starts school again
21. Become blood brothers with my best friend Lima Beanz.
Okay so I am not serious about the last one, but I am open for suggestions what would be a good use of my free time. As long as its with in reason you can email me suggestions and perhaps I will blog about the event. Of course no one ever emails me with anything for this blog.
Monday, July 28, 2003
“Dan K. Goes Legit ”
Dan K. finally came to his senses and put a ring on the finger of his long time girlfriend his past weekend. Dan has been with Jessica since the summer after we graduated highschool (1998). That is an insanely long amount of time by my standards. I cant even imagine. I think that’s even longer than he has had that festering foot fungus which may or may not be slowly devouring his foot.
It’s about time Dan realized she might be part of a select few that will put up with his miserable persona and constant black cloud that he drags around with him everywhere he goes. Jessica certainly put up with quite a bit over the years. Dan even dedicated a day in which he purposely avoided contact with her. It was Friday nights that became known as No Jessica Fridays, or NJF. Dan and the entire crew (before the infamous yet vague falling out) would go out to dinner and spend insane amounts of money. Most times we would than go to a bar, and Dan would tell us why no girls want to hook up with us and point out all our faults until we all wanted to die.
Dan plans to wed in October 2004 which give him slightly over a year to google search his wedding plans. I am predicting perhaps the first ever chat room bachelor party in this history of the free world.
I see very little of Dan K. these days due to his pure hatred for humanity. Despite the fact that he has lived the life of a married man for about four years its still big news that is finally going to make it legit. It seems just like yesterday Dan K was trying to glue me to my seat in grade school. I am happy for him and hope his marriage is a long and healthy one. I am sure all my readers who mostly only know him in his cartoonish form in Tucker's World are happy for a complete and total stranger.
I am not supposed to make this public knowledge but he plans to ask Drew to be his best man when they go out to the bars tonight. Maybe if I have time I will come up with a quick list of classic Dan K. stories. Unfortunately there are very few recent ones, since he is bunkered down in his apartment praying that the world will end soon.
Dan K. finally came to his senses and put a ring on the finger of his long time girlfriend his past weekend. Dan has been with Jessica since the summer after we graduated highschool (1998). That is an insanely long amount of time by my standards. I cant even imagine. I think that’s even longer than he has had that festering foot fungus which may or may not be slowly devouring his foot.
It’s about time Dan realized she might be part of a select few that will put up with his miserable persona and constant black cloud that he drags around with him everywhere he goes. Jessica certainly put up with quite a bit over the years. Dan even dedicated a day in which he purposely avoided contact with her. It was Friday nights that became known as No Jessica Fridays, or NJF. Dan and the entire crew (before the infamous yet vague falling out) would go out to dinner and spend insane amounts of money. Most times we would than go to a bar, and Dan would tell us why no girls want to hook up with us and point out all our faults until we all wanted to die.
Dan plans to wed in October 2004 which give him slightly over a year to google search his wedding plans. I am predicting perhaps the first ever chat room bachelor party in this history of the free world.
I see very little of Dan K. these days due to his pure hatred for humanity. Despite the fact that he has lived the life of a married man for about four years its still big news that is finally going to make it legit. It seems just like yesterday Dan K was trying to glue me to my seat in grade school. I am happy for him and hope his marriage is a long and healthy one. I am sure all my readers who mostly only know him in his cartoonish form in Tucker's World are happy for a complete and total stranger.
I am not supposed to make this public knowledge but he plans to ask Drew to be his best man when they go out to the bars tonight. Maybe if I have time I will come up with a quick list of classic Dan K. stories. Unfortunately there are very few recent ones, since he is bunkered down in his apartment praying that the world will end soon.
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