"Thats Amonte!"
When the fans all get pumped up, when the goal actually lights up…that’s AMONTEEEEEEEEEE…when tears falls from the other goalies eye like a Nuccio’s pizza pie ..that’s AMONTEEEEEEEEEEE.
The sports side of the Philly Daily News hitting newsstands today shows new comer Tony Amonte dressed in the new flyers jersey and waving to the fans. His tongue is out in KISS like fashion and in the last few days the players have been all doing something I haven’t seen a Flyers team in a long time. Actually smiling. Signs of life!
I predicted Amonte would net two goals he didn’t prove me right but notched an important goal and assisted on another. Looking at the highlights last night at Harpers I felt like I was watching another team. The goals were a result of inspired play and excellent puck movement. The goals were cleanly beating the goalie. Amonte still harbors the potential to score the big goals the Flyers are always in the need of. Even though former Flyers St. Jaques managed to stick it to us, it didn’t spoil the night.
Not only did Amonte return to the lineup but cheapskate John Leclair returned to the line up after sitting out for what seemed like years. Amonte, Leclair and JR reunited as the American express line on the power play. Maybe Amonte will be the sparkplug the Flyers needed to get their power play out of the basement.
In a somewhat related noted I bumped into a Sterling Alumni (I really don’t know him, but Tom was with me and he knew him from his class) and talked some Flyers with him. Apparently, he met now former Flyers Bruno St. Jaques and Guilliame Lefebvre at Top Dog and scored Lefbvre’s cell phone number (stud of the Winter?) He told me that Lefebvre actually pronounces his name like Lafleur don’t ask me how. He also said the Lindros/Brindy scandal was true. Even the Tocchet part but it wasn’t at a Cherry Hill bar it was in the locker room. Apparently Toc beat the crap out of him and the whole Lesard (former Phantom) running into the Big E was just SPIN from the Flyers.
Anyway I don’t want to get all excited by a win over a team that threw in the towel in January but its what the doctor ordered for the pending post season. It was a nice fun game for them before they start the hell that is the journey to the Cup.
“Sweet Child of NOT Mine”
One of my customers seemingly young at heart Philly native my age tries to understand about the new appliance that she is purchasing, but she can’t simply because her out of control child is screaming at the top of his lungs. Her kid keeps running all around the store and screaming for no reason. When he actually stops, it is to open doors of appliances and slamming the doors.
Her friend turns to me and tells me she hates kids and is glad she doesn’t have any. I agreed with her, and was glad to find one more person who shared my lack of desire to have an offspring. Luckily, I have managed to fine perhaps the only girl in South Jersey who has nightmares not dreams about changing diapers and losing sleep for a wailing infant.
Another kid in the store has corn smeared all over her face leaving globs of it everywhere she goes. I guess most people would think it was cute, but I simply thought it was repulsive. It made me sick to my stomach. Kid after bratty kid comes in the store making it an ideal place for a high school field trip for horny high schoolers to either scare them off sex for life or hammer home the importance of safe sex.
I am an Uncle and the best thing about that role is you don’t have to live with the child. Now don’t get me wrong and all my nephew is a cool kid, but he is currently going through the terrible 2s. This consists of yelling as loud as you possibly can non-stop and knocking everything over that you can find. I’m told that the terrible 2s start when they start walking and actually last for several years in some cases. Also refusing to eat, go to bed or shut up are the norm. I can see the fatigue in my brother and his wife’s eyes as they try to settle down their son. One time I came home with a splitting headache and had to pop advil and hide out in my room.
I talked to a friend of mine about the potential of spreading my seed before I became corpse. My theory is maybe something drops down in your brain, like a chemical one day that says I want to have a kid! That would be AWEWSOME. May it just happens over night. Right now I just see kids as a ball and chain and a constant burden, especially on a young adult such as myself who has yet to land a job to support myself let alone a eating, breathing, poop machine.
Maybe not wanting a child ever is side of immaturity. If that is the case than I’m glad my road map to maturity is so confusing. I mean sure children bring happiness and joy into many parents’ lives, but I do not understand some people’s rush to start a household of their own. I used to work with a girl younger than me who had two kids already, making less than me. She didn’t have a problem with it either.
If I ever do make good money I’d like to be able to spend it on myself and do the things I always wanted to do. I am only 23. Every time I see a young couple dragging in bratty kids, or in many cases several bratty kids I just say thank GOD that’s not me. Id rather live with my parents until I am 30 instead of having their fate. Reading this might make you think that I am (or that Tucker Character) is a self-centered jerk. That’s not the case, I actually feel sorry for my brother when he just appears in the need of a quiet night alone with his wife. I wouldn’t even wish sleepless nights, poop diapers, constant care, life long money woes and personal commitment, and hours of BLUES CLUES on my worst enemy.
Friday, March 14, 2003
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
"Trading Places"
The weather is warming up, the little X has started to appear next to teams in the NHL standings, and the smell of grills a blazing will soon replace the smell of firewood burning. That could mean only one thing, that the NHL playoffs are almost here. The National Hockey Night theme will soon be blaring almost non- stop in my household. But before the “2nd season” we get the fun of watching the crazy trade deadline madness. The deadline was 3 pm yesterday. Here is a run down on winners and the losers in perhaps the biggest trading deadline day in my lifetime.
Winners:
Flyers
The Flyers picked up sniper Tony Amonte, who has produced poorly for the Coyotes this season after signing a big contract. The long time NHL staple has been known to put the puck in the net something the Flyers sorely need. Only a few teams have managed to score less than Philly. Despite Amontes’ disappointing stint in Phoenix he will likely get a new spark playing for a talent stocked team such as the Flyers. He also played with JR with the Blackhawks and Leclair in many USA team games. With someone passing to him, he can easily put the biscuit in the basket.
In order to make room for all the newcomers (including the return of the RUSSIAN TANK) the Flyers shipped off Guillame Lefebvre (who a day later was sent to the penguins) and waivered Todd Wairner who was swiftly picked up by Nashville. Although Wariner played fairly well the team is overstocked ( even more so with Lapointe) with players of his abilities and he was simply the odd man out. So the Flyers basically gave up a potential life time AHLer and some meaningless draft picks for some one who could potentially get the team scoring again.
The Maple Leafs
In what seemed to be an arms race against the likely 1st round foe the Flyers the leafs went out and snatched some playoffs warriors. Granted most of what they picked up will just help them get far this season, but they picked up an impressive cast of players. The addressed their lack of offensive defenseman problem (unlike the Flyers) and picked up the ageless Phil Housley, and solid blue liner Glen Wesley. AT the same, time the picked up the playoff machine Doug Gilmour who was supposed to retire at least twice, but keeps coming back from more. Even though he has lost most his teeth and is certainly in the twilight of his career he could be a thorn in Philly’s side come Mid-April.
The Red Wings
Defenseman Mathieu Schneider ended up in the Motor City after various NHL general managers made a bid for him. Including the Flyers who weren’t going to part with any young talent (for once) to rent an older player.
The Saint Louis Blues
Okay from what I heard about scouting reports Justin Papineau who was sent to the Islanders will be a solid NHL performer one day, but for the Blues the Future is NOW. The team that never won a cup is in their best position to win one in recent memory. Papineau was small price to pay for goaltending insurance from here on out. They picked up Stanley Cup winner Chris Osgood who granted came off a injury plagued season but at the same time could be the missing piece of the Blues puzzle. Certainly an upgrade over the inconstant Johnson with players like Demitra, Weight, Macinnis and Mellanby firing on all cylinders with their eyes on the prize, they could be the dark horse of the west.
In addition they managed to pick up Valrie Bure from the panthers for another prospect, a defensemen this time. Also a couple of boxes of Teddie Grahams were included.
Bruins
They picked up Dan McGillis for a draft pick, if they intend to be in playoffs he could certainly fill the role of one of their 6-man. Especially since they have been hampered by injuries on the blue line all season long. They also picked up Ian Moran from the Penguins for a Cam Neely autographed copy of Dumb and Dumber. However, it was a VHS because the penguins sold their DVD player to the Blackhawks, but Theo Fleury stole it for drug money.
Sens.
They got Rob RAY! They seriously needed some toughness though or someone to open and close the door. ROB RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time Will Tell -----
Dallas
They nabbed journeyman Stu Barnes put up some numbers in the past, but has fallen off. They gave Buffalo a young prospect and a draft pick. This trade is only as good as how if Barnes makes an immediate impact though. Dallas might be in a rebuilding period sometime soon and could have used what they gave up.
Coyotes:
Jan Hirdina (penguins) and Chris Gratton won’t exactly put fans in the seats of an arena that has seen JR and Amonte peace out recently. These type of players are basically in place for next season to hold down the fort until a 2004 to see what happens. Amonte simply didn’t fit in here though. Although this team does seem to becoming the island of misfit toys they did the best they could given their situation. If exclude that they had to give Amonte away, these separate trades were good moves.
The Flames
They got Dean McCammond back! Basically because the Lanch (they landed Bates Battaglia ) had an over stock over players, and injuries kept the former Flyer out of action a lot this season. McCammond was delighted to be going from the NHL’s elite to an early season of Golf. At least he gets to play along side the CHIEF ! An obvious reference to former Flyer Craig Berube who actually has two less points (6) than the 5 million dollar man in Boston Lapointe(8.)
Losers__
The Oilers:
The Oilers gave away their leading scorer Anston Carter to the Rangers for Cory Cross ( an okay d-man) and the over-rated Dvorak. I wonder what racial slur Beezer made when he heard about this trade!
The Rangers
Granted they got the better end of the Oilers trade, but they are 4 points out of a playoff spot and on the outside looking in. They would need a miracle to get in. Even if they do they wont go far. The Rangers payroll is already insane, and Carter isn’t worth as much as he gets paid. If the NHL puts on a salary cap in 2004 (the damn well better, look for a future post on this one) teams like the Rangers are going to have to dump a large amount of players in the off season or next year. Not to mention the fact half the team should have retired already. Something Mark Messier will never do. They SUCK.
Penguins
Poor Mario had get rid of all his talent, most notably on the day of the deadline Jan Hirdina to the Coyotes. Mario got an enrollment in the jelly of the month club in return. The penguins are hoping and praying to stay together till 2004 a new collective bargining agreement is reached that will benefit small market teams. In the mean time, they have to horde prospects for the future, which they certainly have done. Many of the players may not amount to much but some easily could be gems down the line. I liked the moving of Wayne Primeau to the Shark for Matt Bradley. They could use an up and coming defensive forward.They also managed to pick up Brain Holzinger from Tampa for Marc Bergevin in an actual trade. If anyone is interested, the Penguins are having an Alex Kovlev bobble head night, despite the fact they traded him away weeks ago. That’s pretty sad. On second thought maybe Mario is just hoping the Igloos roof collapses before the collective bargaining agreement is reached.
Vancover
Despite picking up Brad May, who is known for occasionally scoring a big goal (MAY DAY, MAY DAY,MAY DAY) you have to think they wanted some more veteran spice to the recipe of young talent they have. They needed a veteran like Mike Ricci or someone to help these kids out. Too bad they couldn’t afford to keep Andrew Cassels in town..if they did the would certainly have (Italian accent) A SPICEY MEATBALL!
The Islanders
Despite taking one of the best playmaking d-man in the league in Niinimma they may have squandered their chances by prematurely unloading Chris Osgood. Who is going to start in net if they even make the playoffs? Garth Snow? Or are you going to put all that pressure on the goalie of the Future in Rick Diprieto? Why not just wait for Summer to do unload Osgood? Dumb move unless they already have written this season off.
Buffalo
Their trades will benefit them about as much as a College Degree has benefited me so far.
Tucker cause he works horrible hours and will miss most of the post-season action unless the next job he lands has better hours. Other options are multiple VCRs, wiring up TVio, or suicide.
The weather is warming up, the little X has started to appear next to teams in the NHL standings, and the smell of grills a blazing will soon replace the smell of firewood burning. That could mean only one thing, that the NHL playoffs are almost here. The National Hockey Night theme will soon be blaring almost non- stop in my household. But before the “2nd season” we get the fun of watching the crazy trade deadline madness. The deadline was 3 pm yesterday. Here is a run down on winners and the losers in perhaps the biggest trading deadline day in my lifetime.
Winners:
Flyers
The Flyers picked up sniper Tony Amonte, who has produced poorly for the Coyotes this season after signing a big contract. The long time NHL staple has been known to put the puck in the net something the Flyers sorely need. Only a few teams have managed to score less than Philly. Despite Amontes’ disappointing stint in Phoenix he will likely get a new spark playing for a talent stocked team such as the Flyers. He also played with JR with the Blackhawks and Leclair in many USA team games. With someone passing to him, he can easily put the biscuit in the basket.
In order to make room for all the newcomers (including the return of the RUSSIAN TANK) the Flyers shipped off Guillame Lefebvre (who a day later was sent to the penguins) and waivered Todd Wairner who was swiftly picked up by Nashville. Although Wariner played fairly well the team is overstocked ( even more so with Lapointe) with players of his abilities and he was simply the odd man out. So the Flyers basically gave up a potential life time AHLer and some meaningless draft picks for some one who could potentially get the team scoring again.
The Maple Leafs
In what seemed to be an arms race against the likely 1st round foe the Flyers the leafs went out and snatched some playoffs warriors. Granted most of what they picked up will just help them get far this season, but they picked up an impressive cast of players. The addressed their lack of offensive defenseman problem (unlike the Flyers) and picked up the ageless Phil Housley, and solid blue liner Glen Wesley. AT the same, time the picked up the playoff machine Doug Gilmour who was supposed to retire at least twice, but keeps coming back from more. Even though he has lost most his teeth and is certainly in the twilight of his career he could be a thorn in Philly’s side come Mid-April.
The Red Wings
Defenseman Mathieu Schneider ended up in the Motor City after various NHL general managers made a bid for him. Including the Flyers who weren’t going to part with any young talent (for once) to rent an older player.
The Saint Louis Blues
Okay from what I heard about scouting reports Justin Papineau who was sent to the Islanders will be a solid NHL performer one day, but for the Blues the Future is NOW. The team that never won a cup is in their best position to win one in recent memory. Papineau was small price to pay for goaltending insurance from here on out. They picked up Stanley Cup winner Chris Osgood who granted came off a injury plagued season but at the same time could be the missing piece of the Blues puzzle. Certainly an upgrade over the inconstant Johnson with players like Demitra, Weight, Macinnis and Mellanby firing on all cylinders with their eyes on the prize, they could be the dark horse of the west.
In addition they managed to pick up Valrie Bure from the panthers for another prospect, a defensemen this time. Also a couple of boxes of Teddie Grahams were included.
Bruins
They picked up Dan McGillis for a draft pick, if they intend to be in playoffs he could certainly fill the role of one of their 6-man. Especially since they have been hampered by injuries on the blue line all season long. They also picked up Ian Moran from the Penguins for a Cam Neely autographed copy of Dumb and Dumber. However, it was a VHS because the penguins sold their DVD player to the Blackhawks, but Theo Fleury stole it for drug money.
Sens.
They got Rob RAY! They seriously needed some toughness though or someone to open and close the door. ROB RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time Will Tell -----
Dallas
They nabbed journeyman Stu Barnes put up some numbers in the past, but has fallen off. They gave Buffalo a young prospect and a draft pick. This trade is only as good as how if Barnes makes an immediate impact though. Dallas might be in a rebuilding period sometime soon and could have used what they gave up.
Coyotes:
Jan Hirdina (penguins) and Chris Gratton won’t exactly put fans in the seats of an arena that has seen JR and Amonte peace out recently. These type of players are basically in place for next season to hold down the fort until a 2004 to see what happens. Amonte simply didn’t fit in here though. Although this team does seem to becoming the island of misfit toys they did the best they could given their situation. If exclude that they had to give Amonte away, these separate trades were good moves.
The Flames
They got Dean McCammond back! Basically because the Lanch (they landed Bates Battaglia ) had an over stock over players, and injuries kept the former Flyer out of action a lot this season. McCammond was delighted to be going from the NHL’s elite to an early season of Golf. At least he gets to play along side the CHIEF ! An obvious reference to former Flyer Craig Berube who actually has two less points (6) than the 5 million dollar man in Boston Lapointe(8.)
Losers__
The Oilers:
The Oilers gave away their leading scorer Anston Carter to the Rangers for Cory Cross ( an okay d-man) and the over-rated Dvorak. I wonder what racial slur Beezer made when he heard about this trade!
The Rangers
Granted they got the better end of the Oilers trade, but they are 4 points out of a playoff spot and on the outside looking in. They would need a miracle to get in. Even if they do they wont go far. The Rangers payroll is already insane, and Carter isn’t worth as much as he gets paid. If the NHL puts on a salary cap in 2004 (the damn well better, look for a future post on this one) teams like the Rangers are going to have to dump a large amount of players in the off season or next year. Not to mention the fact half the team should have retired already. Something Mark Messier will never do. They SUCK.
Penguins
Poor Mario had get rid of all his talent, most notably on the day of the deadline Jan Hirdina to the Coyotes. Mario got an enrollment in the jelly of the month club in return. The penguins are hoping and praying to stay together till 2004 a new collective bargining agreement is reached that will benefit small market teams. In the mean time, they have to horde prospects for the future, which they certainly have done. Many of the players may not amount to much but some easily could be gems down the line. I liked the moving of Wayne Primeau to the Shark for Matt Bradley. They could use an up and coming defensive forward.They also managed to pick up Brain Holzinger from Tampa for Marc Bergevin in an actual trade. If anyone is interested, the Penguins are having an Alex Kovlev bobble head night, despite the fact they traded him away weeks ago. That’s pretty sad. On second thought maybe Mario is just hoping the Igloos roof collapses before the collective bargaining agreement is reached.
Vancover
Despite picking up Brad May, who is known for occasionally scoring a big goal (MAY DAY, MAY DAY,MAY DAY) you have to think they wanted some more veteran spice to the recipe of young talent they have. They needed a veteran like Mike Ricci or someone to help these kids out. Too bad they couldn’t afford to keep Andrew Cassels in town..if they did the would certainly have (Italian accent) A SPICEY MEATBALL!
The Islanders
Despite taking one of the best playmaking d-man in the league in Niinimma they may have squandered their chances by prematurely unloading Chris Osgood. Who is going to start in net if they even make the playoffs? Garth Snow? Or are you going to put all that pressure on the goalie of the Future in Rick Diprieto? Why not just wait for Summer to do unload Osgood? Dumb move unless they already have written this season off.
Buffalo
Their trades will benefit them about as much as a College Degree has benefited me so far.
Tucker cause he works horrible hours and will miss most of the post-season action unless the next job he lands has better hours. Other options are multiple VCRs, wiring up TVio, or suicide.
Sunday, March 09, 2003
A former classmate of mine emailed me this story. Instead of spaming everyone's email I figured I would post this on here. I found it amusing. Its written by a 29 yearold but I could certainly relate to the majority of it. Enjoy!
"1984"
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it.
But....Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damned Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet--we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damned library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a pen!--and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had go to the damned record store and shoplift it yourself! Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and messed it all up! You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or steal the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died... Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy You're spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!!!
"1984"
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it.
But....Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damned Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet--we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damned library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a pen!--and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had go to the damned record store and shoplift it yourself! Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and messed it all up! You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or steal the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog! Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died... Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy You're spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!!!
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