“My Computer”
I am in the midst of completing an upgrade for my computer. The process began when I realized that my computer would not support the only PC NHL video game NHL 2003 put out by EA sports. A simple fix I would assume. Just get the video card and away we go!
Well my friend (and hater of Jay and Drew) Dan K. reluctantly aided me in my quest to upgrade my PC. However, after the 2nd video card didn’t work he told me it wasn’t the video card. She the “mother board” would not acknowledge the existence of the new video card. He told me perhaps he would have to bend my case. We tried that but nothing happened. He than told me perhaps it was the power supply which had may be lying to me (via its label) how much power it actually distributes through the whole…uh tower. So now I am having Dan K. put the guts of my computer I have now into a new case with a well known power supply. Good luck Dan K. my computer is quite the little rascal.
In the process Dan K. put a new memory chip on in my computer. I guess I am too ignorant to tell the difference, because my damn computer still seems to run slow and crash constantly. I fear it will crash before I finish typing this. It likes to tell me quite often that I am performing illegal operations. It gives me the options of reading details (gibberish) or hit close. Both result eventually in my computer crashing. Another favorite gag my PC pulls on me is the old freeze up for no good reason and lock up every program gag. My PC loves this one because I can do little or nothing to solve it.
Another common joke my PC plays on me is giving me vague errors in computer jargon that would have the e four-eyed dork on TECH TV scratching his head. My computer thinks its even funnier to pull this gag when I am trying to print stuff. Sometimes it lets me END TASK, but won let me open program I am in at the time anyway.
My computer is such a prankster don’t ask me how, but for the awhile my homepage (is that right term?) for Internet Explorer was are you 18? .com. Since I look at porn maybe 3 times a year on here I doubt I was the culprit. That little devil of a PC that I have was snickering I could hear it. Little whirling and things turning over, yeah that’s not a computer shifting through files…its mocking me.
My PC is having trouble keeping a straight face thinking I will actually be playing NHL 2003 before the league has its next lockout. The same computer who likes to play the “Hide the Download” game which its quite good at it. Many a time I down load an “application” and when my computer proudly exclaims…FILES DONE. It sends me on a virtual scavenger hunt and it no where to be found. If the PC is in a good mood will set things up for me it usually likes it when I stoke its CD Racer drive. I guess it’s as close to a G-spot as it has. Not that I know where to find a G-spot on a girl.
My computer’s partner in crime is AOL. AOL likes to not let me online or randomly quick me off. When AOL gets tired of this joke the PC takes over and just crashes everything so I have to reboot my computer. Granted the 56k modem it equal to cups and a string (at least by Dan K standards).
Dan K. has names for all of his computers. If I named mine I guess it might corky after the retard on the earily 90’s movie Life Goes On. Maybe just Silly the Lovable PC clown who always messes around! Perhaps I can call it LAME BOX.
So the next time I am IMING and slam my buddylist door in your face, or the echoing sounds of fists hitting a keyboard echo through the neighborhood. Just sit back laugh slap your knee and say….wahoooooo that’s that whacky computer again!.
“The Barber Shop Remarks”
I just watched the Barber Shop last night for the first time. A solid well made comedy which came out early last year. The movie got some flack last year because of jokes made be Cedric the Entertainer’s character about famous African-American figures.
His character a bit of a bumbling older barber (who never seems to do any actual work) made remarks about how the black culture hypes up Rose Parks too much. He claimed all she did was sit her lazy ass down. He also claimed how annoying Jesse Jackson is and how Martin Luther King was a whore monger.
Now Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr played a big part in the history of civil right and American history. If it wasn’t for the words of King the civil right movement would not have gotten that gigantic push it needed. Not everything he wanted to come true has just yet unfortunately. Rose Parks gives a face and name to that era. Jackson too me is hypocrite and a racist (reverse racism was also a subject of the film).
However Cedric’s claims of King were true. I know this because a than friend of a family member worked for the FBI and followed him around. It would seem every time he arrived some where hookers were ready for him, and they were always white ones. I have read these accounts in other places enough to accept them as fact. But you never hear him and him and all his hookers when his b-day comes around. Just the good he did for the nation. Which I have no problem with. Unlike Columbus’s b-day when we hear what a terrible person he was, or presidents day when we hear how Thomas Jefferson was a slave owner.
The fact is it was liberal knee jerk reaction. First of Cedric’s character was a bit of an idiot. Second off the characters of the movie jumped down his throat immediately. Third one of the films main purpose’s was to bring up topics relating to African-American culture today. That was why the people hung out at the barber shop all day to speak their mind. So big deal. How many jokes about famous figures of history were made in films? 1,000s. Does it make a difference if they make them about black figures? Is that racist? Insensitive? Of course not. This film was made by for and by African Americans (not that its not a really good movie for everyone to enjoy) and I about Cedric meant (or even thought he would have the ability to ) to change everyone’s view of the people he mentioned drastically. Okay, maybe about O.J. but people already have made their mind up about that one.
Meanwhile you have this movie being made about the life of Christ by Mel Gibson (perhaps committing career suicide) who is getting harassed by the media. People are harassing him constantly and family members on a regular basis. Even his father is being harassed who has nothing to do with anything. Mainly because of they find dirt on Gibson they it will be easier to shoot down the film. In this day in age you cant, make a movie about Christ with out him being gay or a movie ripping Christianity. When Gibson shakes down the culprit, don’t gasp too hard when his New York Times press pass comes falling to the ground.
Anyway the film ment no harm by the remark I am sure. It always all about getting along and living together. I don’t see why such figures are not held up the same mockery as every other public figure. Just read a politic cartoon and see how off base some of them can be. Why walk on eggshells and not make a joke if you want to just because the color of their skin? Recently when the film was released on DVD Spike Lee said Cedric’s comments weren’t funny and children will grow up thinking poorly of Parks and King. Well if your kids are getting their education from Cedric the Entertainer you might want to relocate them. I am sure Cedric is thankful for the paths burned by King and the movement. Just ask him if you ever see him before he steps into his limo.
Friday, January 24, 2003
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
“More Movies”
Blackhawk Down **
I feel like I have no heart not enjoying this film. A friend of mine cried. Other people I talked to were deeply moved and couldn’t I understand how I didn’t enjoy the film. I am sure that the battle sequences were realistic and true to what happened. However I was utterly lost by who was who, who I should care about or even any type of character.
Before going to the film, I just knew it was based on articles in the Inquirer about a little skirmish that most of Americans didn’t know about. I knew Clinton knowingly sent unready troops to war. Drew fell asleep during the movie. All I remember about that movie is we had a snow storm around the time I saw it. This movie taught me nothing.
We Were Soldiers **
Thought this murky war flick would be different since one of my favorite actors was involved (Mel Gibson). The first half of the film involved the people before they went to war which is rarely done. We are usually introduced to everyone when they are already in some sort of war. That’s what made this angle some what fresh.
However the move slips into the doldrums after the battle scenes become mundane. Some cool violent moments however there isn’t anything that would merit a 2nd viewing. I guess it seemed cooler on the big screen.
The Comedian ***
A few years after the demise of his sitcom, Jerry Seinfeld decided to retire every joke he ever did. including the bits that made him famous. So he went on the road playing in dive comedy clubs with all new material. A once polished performer stumbled over wording of his new jokes and hecklers.
Luckily for us a digital camera was running and a documentary was made about the year he spent on the road. Don’t see this wanting to see anything other than a behind the scenes look at the stand up comedy business. It offers more interesting moments than funny. Not to say that some of Jerry’s asides on and off the stage are not on par.
The documentary also follows an up and coming smart ass comedian who is seemingly as insecure as they come when he is not on stage. One classic exchange involves Jerry laughing at the new comer comparing himself to friends that are actually starting families. He seeks advice from the elder Jerry. Jerry must prepare for his upcoming gig on Letterman with his new material. Some famous stars show up as themselves.
This might not be up everyone’s alley. Die Hard Jerry fans will enjoy it, people who enjoy documentaries, and anyone who actually has a “Dream” could easily displace their own in the message that the documentary tries to convey. Very entertaining for a person like me anyway. Nice Jazz like soundtrack too.
Igby Goes Down ****
A bizarre title makes this movie hard to recommend. However anyone who had seen this one (about 15 people) were in for a treat. The strong coming of age story follows a young man who is surrounded full blown adults who are mostly hypocrites. He spends his days getting kicked out of school after school. Seeing as where he comes from a wealthy (but very messed up family) you would think he would be happy. His brother bought into the whole rich preppy lifestyle. Why shouldn’t he?
Igby goes through his life insulting people and would rather just his mom finally die. The hates this brother, hates most the people he meets, and was obviously effected by his father breakdown when he Igby was just a kid.
His mother is dying, and Igby spends time with a hot ass girl and his uncle (played hilariously by Jeff Goodblum). The story is tight, the acting is strong, and the direction is crisp certainly the most underrated movie of the year. Definitely one of my favorite films of the year.
I hyped this movie enough up that I think everyone will hate it. OH well. Perhaps we can watch when it comes on DVD at Dukes. If Jenna stays away I am sure that she will tell me what a horrible person I am for liking the movie.
Red Dragon ** ½
Remake of the underrated and for the most part forgotten Manhunter. Red Dragon is basically a big grander version of the film since it was made be on a much larger budget. The only thing is I sat through this film knowing what was going to happen and when for the most part. I liked some of the low key acting in the Manhunter better and it’s low budget feel gave it a really creepy feel.
A friend of mine become obsessed with serial killers after seeing Manhunter. Red Dragon although well done was easy to shrug off afterwards. The new ending was more loyal to the book I am told, but I liked the other ending better. Of course more Hannibal scenes were added with the film starting with him, and serving as s transition to Silence of the Lambs at the end of the film. I wonder what ever happened to detective Graham in the later films.
Two Weeks Notice **
Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock allow this movie to propel this movie with their chemistry. Even when the material seems like it shouldn’t work it seems like it does because these two actors are overly familiar with this genre. They both have done better but its not a bad film either.
The movie of course pins both love interests on polar opposites of subject matter. This one has Grant being wealthy (he is always wealthy) and wanting to expand his empire, and Bullock wanting to keep traditional NYC buildings around.
The movie like many over the years serves as a love letter to New York City with many shots of locations and references to life there. This New York City doesn’t seem like it ever had a 9/11.
Gangs of New York ***1/2
After years in the making the film finally got into theaters during the recent holiday season. The epic tale tells about New York City during the civil war. Apparently different immigrants settled in different sections of the city and didn’t like each other that much. To make matters worse the government wants to draft people for the war. Even if they don’t know what the hell is going on, because they don’t speak the same language.
This movie made Casino and Goodfellas look like a Disney film with the graphic violence. The gangs murder each other in the streets, and form alliances to a certain extent. The movie centers around a kid who grew up with this world around him and saw his father killed. When he is an adult will take part in the same way of life? Avenge his fathers death? Well you better rush out to a theater before it gets bumped to find out.
The movie boasts one of the most impressive sets done in a long time. Not one computer generated building in sight, just a good old fashion world built on a studio back lot. It might go down in history as the last such film.
For those of you avoiding this film because of “Leo” you are missing out on one of the best movies of year by far.
Catch Me If You Can ** ½
An affable entertaining (unless your Jenna securely in the arms with the smartest man alive) film about a kid who becomes a con-man. In the age of innocence (the movie takes place in the 50’s) people could get away with just dressing and acting the part and easily dupe the masses. Leo posses as a teacher, a pilot( most of the time so he can fly all around the country), and a lawyer as he travels the country. In order to fund his adventures he learns how to fake checks from airlines he never worked at.
Will it be just a matter of time will Tom Hanks catches him? The movie was good, but I wanted it to be more fun. Like when Leo banged that hot chick from Alais or the teacher scene. We seem him walking around with a bunch of hot flight attendants who he picked to go over seas with him. But we don’t get to see any of the plane ride.
The movie boggles down a bit when Leo starts falling for a Southern chick, and is oddly dark in the short spurts which messes up the balance of the generally light hearted movie. Hanks is good, but he has been much better in over roles. Kind of strange to see him in a supporting role.
Blackhawk Down **
I feel like I have no heart not enjoying this film. A friend of mine cried. Other people I talked to were deeply moved and couldn’t I understand how I didn’t enjoy the film. I am sure that the battle sequences were realistic and true to what happened. However I was utterly lost by who was who, who I should care about or even any type of character.
Before going to the film, I just knew it was based on articles in the Inquirer about a little skirmish that most of Americans didn’t know about. I knew Clinton knowingly sent unready troops to war. Drew fell asleep during the movie. All I remember about that movie is we had a snow storm around the time I saw it. This movie taught me nothing.
We Were Soldiers **
Thought this murky war flick would be different since one of my favorite actors was involved (Mel Gibson). The first half of the film involved the people before they went to war which is rarely done. We are usually introduced to everyone when they are already in some sort of war. That’s what made this angle some what fresh.
However the move slips into the doldrums after the battle scenes become mundane. Some cool violent moments however there isn’t anything that would merit a 2nd viewing. I guess it seemed cooler on the big screen.
The Comedian ***
A few years after the demise of his sitcom, Jerry Seinfeld decided to retire every joke he ever did. including the bits that made him famous. So he went on the road playing in dive comedy clubs with all new material. A once polished performer stumbled over wording of his new jokes and hecklers.
Luckily for us a digital camera was running and a documentary was made about the year he spent on the road. Don’t see this wanting to see anything other than a behind the scenes look at the stand up comedy business. It offers more interesting moments than funny. Not to say that some of Jerry’s asides on and off the stage are not on par.
The documentary also follows an up and coming smart ass comedian who is seemingly as insecure as they come when he is not on stage. One classic exchange involves Jerry laughing at the new comer comparing himself to friends that are actually starting families. He seeks advice from the elder Jerry. Jerry must prepare for his upcoming gig on Letterman with his new material. Some famous stars show up as themselves.
This might not be up everyone’s alley. Die Hard Jerry fans will enjoy it, people who enjoy documentaries, and anyone who actually has a “Dream” could easily displace their own in the message that the documentary tries to convey. Very entertaining for a person like me anyway. Nice Jazz like soundtrack too.
Igby Goes Down ****
A bizarre title makes this movie hard to recommend. However anyone who had seen this one (about 15 people) were in for a treat. The strong coming of age story follows a young man who is surrounded full blown adults who are mostly hypocrites. He spends his days getting kicked out of school after school. Seeing as where he comes from a wealthy (but very messed up family) you would think he would be happy. His brother bought into the whole rich preppy lifestyle. Why shouldn’t he?
Igby goes through his life insulting people and would rather just his mom finally die. The hates this brother, hates most the people he meets, and was obviously effected by his father breakdown when he Igby was just a kid.
His mother is dying, and Igby spends time with a hot ass girl and his uncle (played hilariously by Jeff Goodblum). The story is tight, the acting is strong, and the direction is crisp certainly the most underrated movie of the year. Definitely one of my favorite films of the year.
I hyped this movie enough up that I think everyone will hate it. OH well. Perhaps we can watch when it comes on DVD at Dukes. If Jenna stays away I am sure that she will tell me what a horrible person I am for liking the movie.
Red Dragon ** ½
Remake of the underrated and for the most part forgotten Manhunter. Red Dragon is basically a big grander version of the film since it was made be on a much larger budget. The only thing is I sat through this film knowing what was going to happen and when for the most part. I liked some of the low key acting in the Manhunter better and it’s low budget feel gave it a really creepy feel.
A friend of mine become obsessed with serial killers after seeing Manhunter. Red Dragon although well done was easy to shrug off afterwards. The new ending was more loyal to the book I am told, but I liked the other ending better. Of course more Hannibal scenes were added with the film starting with him, and serving as s transition to Silence of the Lambs at the end of the film. I wonder what ever happened to detective Graham in the later films.
Two Weeks Notice **
Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock allow this movie to propel this movie with their chemistry. Even when the material seems like it shouldn’t work it seems like it does because these two actors are overly familiar with this genre. They both have done better but its not a bad film either.
The movie of course pins both love interests on polar opposites of subject matter. This one has Grant being wealthy (he is always wealthy) and wanting to expand his empire, and Bullock wanting to keep traditional NYC buildings around.
The movie like many over the years serves as a love letter to New York City with many shots of locations and references to life there. This New York City doesn’t seem like it ever had a 9/11.
Gangs of New York ***1/2
After years in the making the film finally got into theaters during the recent holiday season. The epic tale tells about New York City during the civil war. Apparently different immigrants settled in different sections of the city and didn’t like each other that much. To make matters worse the government wants to draft people for the war. Even if they don’t know what the hell is going on, because they don’t speak the same language.
This movie made Casino and Goodfellas look like a Disney film with the graphic violence. The gangs murder each other in the streets, and form alliances to a certain extent. The movie centers around a kid who grew up with this world around him and saw his father killed. When he is an adult will take part in the same way of life? Avenge his fathers death? Well you better rush out to a theater before it gets bumped to find out.
The movie boasts one of the most impressive sets done in a long time. Not one computer generated building in sight, just a good old fashion world built on a studio back lot. It might go down in history as the last such film.
For those of you avoiding this film because of “Leo” you are missing out on one of the best movies of year by far.
Catch Me If You Can ** ½
An affable entertaining (unless your Jenna securely in the arms with the smartest man alive) film about a kid who becomes a con-man. In the age of innocence (the movie takes place in the 50’s) people could get away with just dressing and acting the part and easily dupe the masses. Leo posses as a teacher, a pilot( most of the time so he can fly all around the country), and a lawyer as he travels the country. In order to fund his adventures he learns how to fake checks from airlines he never worked at.
Will it be just a matter of time will Tom Hanks catches him? The movie was good, but I wanted it to be more fun. Like when Leo banged that hot chick from Alais or the teacher scene. We seem him walking around with a bunch of hot flight attendants who he picked to go over seas with him. But we don’t get to see any of the plane ride.
The movie boggles down a bit when Leo starts falling for a Southern chick, and is oddly dark in the short spurts which messes up the balance of the generally light hearted movie. Hanks is good, but he has been much better in over roles. Kind of strange to see him in a supporting role.
Monday, January 20, 2003
“City of Losers”
I wanted to write about why I thought the Eagles would not win last nights game let a lone the Super Bowl amongst a week of hype and belittling our opponents. But people would just tell me how negative I was being. People would tell me I am a horrible person for saying such things. As a casual Eagles fan at best I don’t expect to be an expert on what happened. However, I was surprised to learn that Tampa had the best defense in the league after hearing from fans how weak the team Tampa was.
I followed the season through mostly fragments of games, highlights on the news, and headlines in the paper. I followed the story of the fallen quarterbacks. I followed what was so supposed to be prelude to the team making it to the next level. While watching the opening minutes of the game, which resulted in an Eagles touchdown I thought to myself, it just wouldn’t seem right if they won. Of course, that’s a horrible thing to think. But I just couldn’t imagine the Eagles in the Super Bowl. It’s the norm for them to be a long gone when the Super Bowl is played. The game is played by teams that are not the Eagles, that is the way I always thought it was. My head might explode if they were in the Super Bowl.
Philly teams are usually good, but never winners. When the game comes down to do or die, the team goes belly up. No matter who it is. The last time there was a victory parade in Philly was two decades ago. The Wings and Phantoms both won championships but no one noticed or cared. The Flyers game close in 1997 and choked in the finals. Then they choked again up 3 games to 1 against the Devils in the conference finals in 2000. The Sixers failed to perform a miracle against the Lakers a few years back. The Phillies broke the hearts of their fans in 1993 when Mitch Williams blew the entire season.
Tomorrow people will debate what went wrong, and try to look forward to next season. That’s what philly fans have to do. They never get to celebrate at the end of the season. It always ends horribly. Not only do Philly teams go out, they go out in embarrassing ways. Blow outs, lazy play, and just good old fashion choking. It’s a curse. The city will never win a championship. EVER. Philly it a city of losers. Every minute that goes by adds on to the dry spell. The team with the best shot this season just went down in flames.
In August the cycle will begin a new like every Philly sports team. Fans will always get caught up when a team is making a run. During the playoffs faces will be painted flags will be put on cars, signs in windows, bars will be over crowded with hopefuls. However when the story of a magical Philly season comes to the climax disaster will ensue. The Philly Sport teams are all pathetic. Good but never winners everytime the ending is the same watching some other team win.
Anytime a Philly team needs to look into themselves the falter. No matter how much the team goes through that season, they story ends the same. When it comes down to the wire they fall. Philly teams serve give other times the confidence to reach their goal. When we are the team no one is supposed to beat we become on the wrong end of the David vs. Goliath scenario (sorry drew).
So if you see man in an Eagles jersey wanting to plummet into the ice-cold Delaware River tomorrow. Get him back in your car waving a Flyers flag. Tell him this is the year of years. A parade will be here soon. Tell them the Eagles will learn from their mistakes and win it all next year. Go to the Sixers game and get your free ALF. Just be happy you have an ALF doll and your favorite sports team gives a break from your meaningless life. Just don’t expect to reminisce about the time your team won everything EVER. If you want a team that actually knows what it takes to be a true winner then perhaps you need to move out of the City of Losers territory.
I wanted to write about why I thought the Eagles would not win last nights game let a lone the Super Bowl amongst a week of hype and belittling our opponents. But people would just tell me how negative I was being. People would tell me I am a horrible person for saying such things. As a casual Eagles fan at best I don’t expect to be an expert on what happened. However, I was surprised to learn that Tampa had the best defense in the league after hearing from fans how weak the team Tampa was.
I followed the season through mostly fragments of games, highlights on the news, and headlines in the paper. I followed the story of the fallen quarterbacks. I followed what was so supposed to be prelude to the team making it to the next level. While watching the opening minutes of the game, which resulted in an Eagles touchdown I thought to myself, it just wouldn’t seem right if they won. Of course, that’s a horrible thing to think. But I just couldn’t imagine the Eagles in the Super Bowl. It’s the norm for them to be a long gone when the Super Bowl is played. The game is played by teams that are not the Eagles, that is the way I always thought it was. My head might explode if they were in the Super Bowl.
Philly teams are usually good, but never winners. When the game comes down to do or die, the team goes belly up. No matter who it is. The last time there was a victory parade in Philly was two decades ago. The Wings and Phantoms both won championships but no one noticed or cared. The Flyers game close in 1997 and choked in the finals. Then they choked again up 3 games to 1 against the Devils in the conference finals in 2000. The Sixers failed to perform a miracle against the Lakers a few years back. The Phillies broke the hearts of their fans in 1993 when Mitch Williams blew the entire season.
Tomorrow people will debate what went wrong, and try to look forward to next season. That’s what philly fans have to do. They never get to celebrate at the end of the season. It always ends horribly. Not only do Philly teams go out, they go out in embarrassing ways. Blow outs, lazy play, and just good old fashion choking. It’s a curse. The city will never win a championship. EVER. Philly it a city of losers. Every minute that goes by adds on to the dry spell. The team with the best shot this season just went down in flames.
In August the cycle will begin a new like every Philly sports team. Fans will always get caught up when a team is making a run. During the playoffs faces will be painted flags will be put on cars, signs in windows, bars will be over crowded with hopefuls. However when the story of a magical Philly season comes to the climax disaster will ensue. The Philly Sport teams are all pathetic. Good but never winners everytime the ending is the same watching some other team win.
Anytime a Philly team needs to look into themselves the falter. No matter how much the team goes through that season, they story ends the same. When it comes down to the wire they fall. Philly teams serve give other times the confidence to reach their goal. When we are the team no one is supposed to beat we become on the wrong end of the David vs. Goliath scenario (sorry drew).
So if you see man in an Eagles jersey wanting to plummet into the ice-cold Delaware River tomorrow. Get him back in your car waving a Flyers flag. Tell him this is the year of years. A parade will be here soon. Tell them the Eagles will learn from their mistakes and win it all next year. Go to the Sixers game and get your free ALF. Just be happy you have an ALF doll and your favorite sports team gives a break from your meaningless life. Just don’t expect to reminisce about the time your team won everything EVER. If you want a team that actually knows what it takes to be a true winner then perhaps you need to move out of the City of Losers territory.
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