“My Computer”

I am in the midst of completing an upgrade for my computer. The process began when I realized that my computer would not support the only PC NHL video game NHL 2003 put out by EA sports. A simple fix I would assume. Just get the video card and away we go!

Well my friend (and hater of Jay and Drew) Dan K. reluctantly aided me in my quest to upgrade my PC. However, after the 2nd video card didn’t work he told me it wasn’t the video card. She the “mother board” would not acknowledge the existence of the new video card. He told me perhaps he would have to bend my case. We tried that but nothing happened. He than told me perhaps it was the power supply which had may be lying to me (via its label) how much power it actually distributes through the whole…uh tower. So now I am having Dan K. put the guts of my computer I have now into a new case with a well known power supply. Good luck Dan K. my computer is quite the little rascal.

In the process Dan K. put a new memory chip on in my computer. I guess I am too ignorant to tell the difference, because my damn computer still seems to run slow and crash constantly. I fear it will crash before I finish typing this. It likes to tell me quite often that I am performing illegal operations. It gives me the options of reading details (gibberish) or hit close. Both result eventually in my computer crashing. Another favorite gag my PC pulls on me is the old freeze up for no good reason and lock up every program gag. My PC loves this one because I can do little or nothing to solve it.

Another common joke my PC plays on me is giving me vague errors in computer jargon that would have the e four-eyed dork on TECH TV scratching his head. My computer thinks its even funnier to pull this gag when I am trying to print stuff. Sometimes it lets me END TASK, but won let me open program I am in at the time anyway.

My computer is such a prankster don’t ask me how, but for the awhile my homepage (is that right term?) for Internet Explorer was are you 18? .com. Since I look at porn maybe 3 times a year on here I doubt I was the culprit. That little devil of a PC that I have was snickering I could hear it. Little whirling and things turning over, yeah that’s not a computer shifting through files…its mocking me.

My PC is having trouble keeping a straight face thinking I will actually be playing NHL 2003 before the league has its next lockout. The same computer who likes to play the “Hide the Download” game which its quite good at it. Many a time I down load an “application” and when my computer proudly exclaims…FILES DONE. It sends me on a virtual scavenger hunt and it no where to be found. If the PC is in a good mood will set things up for me it usually likes it when I stoke its CD Racer drive. I guess it’s as close to a G-spot as it has. Not that I know where to find a G-spot on a girl.

My computer’s partner in crime is AOL. AOL likes to not let me online or randomly quick me off. When AOL gets tired of this joke the PC takes over and just crashes everything so I have to reboot my computer. Granted the 56k modem it equal to cups and a string (at least by Dan K standards).

Dan K. has names for all of his computers. If I named mine I guess it might corky after the retard on the earily 90’s movie Life Goes On. Maybe just Silly the Lovable PC clown who always messes around! Perhaps I can call it LAME BOX.

So the next time I am IMING and slam my buddylist door in your face, or the echoing sounds of fists hitting a keyboard echo through the neighborhood. Just sit back laugh slap your knee and say….wahoooooo that’s that whacky computer again!.


“The Barber Shop Remarks”

I just watched the Barber Shop last night for the first time. A solid well made comedy which came out early last year. The movie got some flack last year because of jokes made be Cedric the Entertainer’s character about famous African-American figures.

His character a bit of a bumbling older barber (who never seems to do any actual work) made remarks about how the black culture hypes up Rose Parks too much. He claimed all she did was sit her lazy ass down. He also claimed how annoying Jesse Jackson is and how Martin Luther King was a whore monger.

Now Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr played a big part in the history of civil right and American history. If it wasn’t for the words of King the civil right movement would not have gotten that gigantic push it needed. Not everything he wanted to come true has just yet unfortunately. Rose Parks gives a face and name to that era. Jackson too me is hypocrite and a racist (reverse racism was also a subject of the film).

However Cedric’s claims of King were true. I know this because a than friend of a family member worked for the FBI and followed him around. It would seem every time he arrived some where hookers were ready for him, and they were always white ones. I have read these accounts in other places enough to accept them as fact. But you never hear him and him and all his hookers when his b-day comes around. Just the good he did for the nation. Which I have no problem with. Unlike Columbus’s b-day when we hear what a terrible person he was, or presidents day when we hear how Thomas Jefferson was a slave owner.

The fact is it was liberal knee jerk reaction. First of Cedric’s character was a bit of an idiot. Second off the characters of the movie jumped down his throat immediately. Third one of the films main purpose’s was to bring up topics relating to African-American culture today. That was why the people hung out at the barber shop all day to speak their mind. So big deal. How many jokes about famous figures of history were made in films? 1,000s. Does it make a difference if they make them about black figures? Is that racist? Insensitive? Of course not. This film was made by for and by African Americans (not that its not a really good movie for everyone to enjoy) and I about Cedric meant (or even thought he would have the ability to ) to change everyone’s view of the people he mentioned drastically. Okay, maybe about O.J. but people already have made their mind up about that one.

Meanwhile you have this movie being made about the life of Christ by Mel Gibson (perhaps committing career suicide) who is getting harassed by the media. People are harassing him constantly and family members on a regular basis. Even his father is being harassed who has nothing to do with anything. Mainly because of they find dirt on Gibson they it will be easier to shoot down the film. In this day in age you cant, make a movie about Christ with out him being gay or a movie ripping Christianity. When Gibson shakes down the culprit, don’t gasp too hard when his New York Times press pass comes falling to the ground.

Anyway the film ment no harm by the remark I am sure. It always all about getting along and living together. I don’t see why such figures are not held up the same mockery as every other public figure. Just read a politic cartoon and see how off base some of them can be. Why walk on eggshells and not make a joke if you want to just because the color of their skin? Recently when the film was released on DVD Spike Lee said Cedric’s comments weren’t funny and children will grow up thinking poorly of Parks and King. Well if your kids are getting their education from Cedric the Entertainer you might want to relocate them. I am sure Cedric is thankful for the paths burned by King and the movement. Just ask him if you ever see him before he steps into his limo.