Wednesday, April 30, 2003

”I do, I love to see others squirm.. I love to see others and make others feel uncomfortable.” Dan K.

“Under Your Skin”


We all ( most of my readers anyway) remember Dan K.’s ablitity to try to ruin a night out at the bar. His ability to move a dark cloud over anyone’s head and joy of making people reevaluate their life in mere minutes. I once saw him work on person after person at night out at Top Dog. Trying to get one miserable person to knock into the other….a domino effect if you will. The more forlorn the person gets the more joyous he becomes. He feeds off it like Ottawa feeds off a Flyers turn over. Its his drug.


Does he still have it after all these years? Well I have provided a recent email between him and a co-worker. You decide if he still has the skill. Granted I egg him on sometimes out of amusement but I am sure he gets more out of it than me.

Dan K. How's life?


Co-worker: going well.

Dan K.

Really ? Well you look miserable.....come on, tell me what's wrong. Why are you
putting on a facade.


Co-worker
what facade? I feel just fine.


Dan K.

Stop pretending to be happy, and just admit that something is eating you up
inside.

I can see right through you. You're transparent, like a freshly cleaned
window. Why pretend to be happy and jovial when you know damn right well
you're MISERABLE.



Co-worker
there really isn't anything that's bothering me....but now that you mention
it, I do have 1 stick in my craw. You....



Dan K.

That means something must be wrong, and you're just mad because I can see
right through you.

You lie like a rug....you're just a cog in the wheel...a SHEEP.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LIZ (her name)........BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Co-worker

am I that transparent? or is it just because you've been blessed with some
sort of otherworldly gift which enables you to cut right to the core of
someone's innermost true feelings? you f'in fruitcake!




Co-worker

nosy bastard. does you mother ( I doubt it Dan isn’t speaking to her over something to do with emails) know that she gave life to south jersey's
foremost nosy parker? christ. you want to know what's bugging me? My
grandmother is dying of cancer and I feel like I'm standing on my last
emotional legs. there, you happy now?


Dan K catches a glimpse of himself and catches himself grinning ear to ear. Yep Dan K. still can bring out the misery in everyone else. He managed to destroyed this girls brave front with a few clicks of a mouse full of devilish glee from his nice large office. It might have been interpreted on someone trying to help another out, but I know better. It was simply Dan K amusing himself and feeding off the misery of others.

Note to Readers:
Jay won the actors contest. He beat out two other people that acutally did it.
“Good Old Philly”

Ah, the good old city just over the bridge. It was in rare form tonight my friends. I was there tonight to see the Flyers play half-assed in front of a bunch of fans who spent a ton of hard earned money to see the game in person.

Right after my father and I paid 10 bucks for parking there was a random homeless guy sifting through the dumpster looking for cans. What a great way to greet anyone from out of town catching some playoff action. You do kind of have to feel sorry for that guy since we can afford to rent a piece of asphalt for 3 hours for 10 bucks, and this poor guy has to recycle cans to pay for his next meal or heroine shot which ever comes first.

In the second parking lot there were a bunch of under age kids drinking not even trying to hide their illegal action. Of course I was there once, so I was just like boys being boys that’s cool I hope they don’t get caught. On the other side of a row of cars sat a cop in his car seemingly bored out of his mind staring at nothing of interest. If I paid Philly taxes I might wonder why he wasn’t bothering to stop scalpers or directing horrendous life threatening traffic patterns or stop the under age drinking party.

While at the game a fight almost broke out in our section. Also during some of the few actual minutes of inspired play offensively for the orange and black a piece of white trash obstructed my view. He stood there with a not so bright look on his face at the end of a flight of steps leading down to the concourse. Of course this is like ordering a topping on a pizza slice in south Philly after a night at the bars. We all shouted things at the either drunk or ignorant person. I was mere seconds away from telling him we didn’t pay 75 bucks a pop to look at his back side. I figured all of section 215 had my back at that point.

Later on some guy was accused of something in the last row of the section. It might have had something to do with the giant hole made in the roof above or the graffiti next to it. It was upside down so I couldn’t read it.

Speaking of reading the people at the Philly Daily News were nice enough to give us a free copy of their newspaper with a special flyers cover. If you want to read a great article they published in an edition any child could have had in their hands on cut and paste this link. Its basically about some guys who tour cities doing plays with their genitals. They give an interview that is both humorous and informative.

http://www.philly.com/mld/dailynews/living/5737547.htm

Okay, so I doubt many kids were excited that they got a free newspaper. However they might have been if they looked over their fathers shoulder and saw Bert, Ernie, Miss Piggy and Lamb Chop. They article decided to let us know what other puppets were saying about this puppet show. There are some sick people working at this paper. It is not available on philly.com so I will put some quotes here for you. If you want a copy many fans nonchalantly tossed their papers which broke into millions (it’s a tabloid style paper) of pieces littering the premises.

Miss Piggy
“Well I never…If I ever caught my Kermie playing with Little Kermie that way, I’d break his little green head. Not THAT one. I could never imagine how anyone could eat sausages before watching this, and I am even more disgusted now."

Ernie
“Gee Bert, I’ll bet I couldn’t do those.”

Bert:

“Oh Erine,please, you were just showing me the Hamburger last night.”

Lambchop
“Oh I could tell you some stories you wouldn’t believe. That broad (the late Shari Lewis) could twist me a lot worse than those Aussies with their boomerangs and I didn’t make a dime off it.”

Of course the fans flipped flopped as usual. Everyone was excited that Fedoruk was playing his first post-season game. Nicknamed “The Fridge” it was clear he was dressed to rough up the opponent. Instead, the overly nervous fridge gave away the puck on his first shift almost letting up a goal. He logged maybe 4 minutes in ice time, making the coach double shift a player on the 4th line. Maybe the fridge needs to be checked off used and damaged from now on. Of course every fan (including the ones that cheered when the saw he was playing) said they would never had dressed him in a million years.

As my father and I stepped out of the FU center, I asked him why it smelled like horse crap outside. He told me it was simply the stench of Philly. By the time we reached the father parking lot passing the people selling balloons to brighten up a child’s night or more likely give fans a quick high for a buck I realized it wasn’t horse manure I was smelling. It was the combination of urine, lingering pot smoke (perhaps a drift from south street), cheese steaks, sewage, air pollution, exhaust and good old fashioned Philly funk. On second thought it might just be the rotting corpse of the Flyers Stanley Cup hopes.

Monday, April 28, 2003

"Gay USA"

All good old Rick Santorum the first big story since Americans (not this one) have completely stopped caring about that pesky War over seas. Hell it seems more people are concerned about the NBA and NHL playoffs than if we catch the entire deck of terrorist playing cards or not.

Seems Santorum sees no difference between two men doing each other up the butt and a lonely farmer and his sheep and/or sister getting it on. Now every columnist in America has been putting in their two cents and since most of my readers are also readers at John and Drew’s blogs I figured I would take a swing at the lifeless horse.

Okay I am not the most liberal person in the world but I think I am pegged a little too far to the right on occasion. I have no problem with homosexuality and although I think homosexuals have different chemicals in their brains to make them desire the same sex. What with the discovery of the GAY SHEEP and all. Some just become gay out of boredom, or for the thrill of it. I know several people that are gay, and although I am not close to any of them. I don’t feel as if they should be short changed if they want to marry one another. Although their wedding albums might be a lot more humorous than their heterosexual counter parts. I am sure there are better gay couples than some of the most horribly mismatched so called “normal” couples out there. As for kids, it should be legal for them to adopt, but it’s something that I don’t think is all that great of an idea.

Yes, I am sensitive towards homos. What little fags do in their bedrooms is their own business. Who am I to stand in the way of the love of two fairies? If two little fruits want to have tax breaks and the same headaches that go along with marriage than let them join the party!

I am kidding of course, but many people in the country actually agree with what the guy said some behind closed doors. Like it or not it’s a moral issue. It isn’t like racism in a way it’s a moral issue and is about how people live their lives. Just like the Dixie Chick who spoke her mind, he is entitled to his own views. Granted the topic of conversation and persons job differ, but its just two Americans speaking their mind.

I think Santorum is was off base, but who am I to say he can’t tell us what he thinks? Some people still honestly believe that being gay is wrong and a conscience social decision that is perverted. In 2003 that might seem like a horrendous point of view, especially for the balk of my readers who grew up in New Jersey. Could this man's potential power affect the rights of gays more than the Dixi Chicks? Well of course. I don’t agree with either of them but, they should be allowed to state their views no matter how annoying.

I guess you can get him to apologize, but we would all know it wan’t sincere. I don’t understand what him apologizing for his remarks would do. I guess some people are dumb enough to forget it and pretend he didn’t mean it. Some people flat out agree with his statements so why should they have someone who speaks for them be silenced? I think people who were defending the rights of all the anti-war talkers with unpopular opinions could be calling for his head is just hypocritical. Yeah these people are all patriots until someone has another opinion than them. Free speech is free speech no matter how bizarre the comments of Santorum are, anyone who disagrees with that is just gay.