“You miss 100 % of the shots you never take”----- Wayne Gretzky
The FINAL DAYS of COLLEGE continues with the tale of two people that are not me, by the time most of you read this I will be leaving my last class EVER.
“You Can Always Go Home Again”
Some things make me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Regan telling me she is cat. Imposter honey mustard at Starview Diner. Blue Flyers jerseys. Willam H. Macy’s face. Most recently added to the list was Christopher Brandon Arter not living in South Jersey anymore if you recall from Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Arter Chris went west to Pennsylvania to get an education.
The poor tyke came close to losing his mind. In several IM conversations I had with him I wondered how close he was to snapping completely. He was one miserable Arter. Thankfully, all of that has changed and he is back on his way to the land of the 24- hour diners. His school is distant memory and he should be arriving back in Somerdale soon.
As I leave the hallowed halls of Rowan, Chris will be showing up there with his ax ready to jam. This will reunite him with Ryan and I am sure the music department will be glad to have him. I wonder if he will get his degree before Ryan. Perhaps he can help comfort all the weeping girls that will be all over the campus in January when the reality sinks in I am not coming back.
Well Chris gave it a shot an attempt to get out of South Jersey. Everyone should at least try to get out at one point in their life just to say they made an attempt. There is a whole world out there. Apparently Chris stumbled upon one lamer than this one. I am glad he came back to the home of high car insurance rates and people who drink WOODater. If you see him before I do give him a big hug unless of course your homophobic.
###
Many people have emailed me and said…well Tucker I am enjoying your last days of college series…but what about the people who didn’t go to college? Okay no one emailed me that. As if this guy’ ego isn’t already bigger than Texas I have cut and pasted a rough draft for an assignment I had one of my first weeks at Rowan. 2 years later he makes even more money and is even more miserable.
“It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.” -----Somerset Maugham
“Dan the Man”
While most 19-yearold guys spend their free time trying to find where the next party is or a fake ID, Dan Hemphill has his nose buried in a book about Unix a complex computer operating system. However most guys don’t land a job that will earn them six figures by the time their 21 and be able to boast that they are the number one sales person in the world. Not bad considering he never received a college degree.
Roughly a year after high school after many years of self-education Hemphill may not have realized how wise behind his years he was. At 19, Hemphill enrolled at Computer Learning Center, and was seeking part time work to pay for tuition and other bills. So Hemphill went on an interview at the Micro-warehouse headquarters in Gibbsboro, New Jersey a privately owned company that and # 1 reseller of computer parts on the planet. Normally doesn’t hire people who are barely old enough to vote, but in this case they made an acceptation. When the interviewer asked Dan some difficult questions he was taken back by the fact that he seemingly knew more than anyone at the company.
Micro-warehouse was so impressed with Hemphill that they encouraged him to leave his education at CLC for a full-time job with the company. Hemphill declined because he wanted to farther his education at CLC. However it didn’t take long for Dan to realize that his knowledge was going to waste. He recalls often times sitting in the classroom and correcting errors teachers were making. During Hemphill’s years of self-education he had already mastered everything being covered in the class. He knew he wanted something more challenging. A few weeks later Hemphill returned to Micro Warehouse and was hired immediately.
Hemphill’s joined the sales team, which mainly consisted of college graduates with diverse degrees. Hemphill’s technique however was different from the typical sales people. His technical knowledge combined with his ability to communicate well with people were the right ingredients for moving up in the company. Hemphill has a knack for navigating through web sites and finding companies that are starting out and ideal customers.
“When I call up a customer, I make sure I am not reading some kind of rant, because that’s a major turn off. When I call up a potential client, or a current client I act as if I am simply calling up a buddy.”
This gives Hemphill the edge, because ordinarily when clients have a technical question about equipment or trouble shooting the sales person has to call upon a technician. Hemphill’s vast knowledge allows customers to go straight to him when a problem arises. If someone in the building has a question, they go straight to Hemphill, including the Engineers.
Watching Hemphill do sale reveals how he is up on technology. Hemphill does all his work in the computer. He never uses pen or paper to write anything down during an entire phone conversation. The only time he uses a pen is to sign his name on checks.
“ Dan is stunningly efficient to say the least when it comes to his sales approach and work ethic” says William Mcintyre who has worked in sales for 7 years and along side Hemphill for almost two.
It did not take Hemphill long to make an impression on the company. He set a company record by being promoted to senior sales in only 3 months. Hemphill’s sales achievements earned him a spot in the presidents club, and the best of the best. Naturally Hemphill’s talents have caught the attention of similar companies who have offered him other jobs including a networking opportunity in Boston, and a sales position for Silicon Valley in California.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
"Pick your future before it picks you” -----------------------Dr. Jason Seaver
Well for some reason or another I am excused from my Movies final with a B +, so that leaves one day of classes and two finals ending a week from Thursday. So continues the FINAL DAYS OF COLLEGE on Tucker's World.
“Commuters and Residents”
I transferred to Rowan when I was already 21 and past the point where I desired to share a dorm with a random dude and live the college life. Oddly enough, most the friends I made (with exception of two that I can think of) on campus were commuters.
Kinda, bizarre like we give off some sort of vibe. We gather in little clusters on campus and interact.
Commuter friends are unique in the sense that you can know people pretty well over the course of a school year, but rarely do you break the barrier of each other’s social worlds. For the most part everyone just says have a good weekend and you part ways. Sure someexchange numbers on occasion but rarely does anyone call each other.
Heck even some residents go home on the weekends since Thursday night and Friday night are the only big party nights on campus. Rowan has gotten the label suitcase college, because the campus empties out for the most part on the weekend. Granted most the North Jerseysans remain, but it is not like the campus on Dead Man on Campus. Perhaps I am not worthy enough to live in the same exicting social scene of the great Leigh Payner.
Its funny though I did over the years develop a six sense on how to spot a commuter and resident with in minutes of talking to or observing them.
Commuters:
Usually they are pretty well dressed, especially the girls.
Most of them dart out of the classroom as fast as they can so they can get the hell out of there.
None of them know where the Rat is, or what is it or how to get there. However they are aware of it’s existence.
I have a little of a week to find the Rat.
Most of them have CCC stickers on their cars.
Most of them see residents as immature, annoying or stuck up.
Most of them live at home still and haven’t lived away from home.
The hot girls all have long-term boyfriends for the most part, at least that’s what they tell Keith.er I mean Tucker.
All of them suffer from Road Rage.
They know someone who has gotten suckered into selling knives after finding a intriguing flyer on their
car.
They use the phrase “Sorry for the mess, I live out of my car”
Residents:
Usually have some sort of Drama going on when they gather in groups they make vocal for a everyone sitting in the class.
They all dress like bums, some shuffle to class in P.Js.
They all own shirts or some sort of clothing with the Rowan name on it and many of them proudly display decals on their cars. How anyone can justify paying 50 bucks or more for Rowan Sweatshirt is beyond this blogger.
They actually follow the sports teams
They cut class more often
Very few of them work, so they spend 60 percent of the day sleeping.
“Action conquers fear”---------- Peter N. Zarlenga
+++
“Parking Spot Shark”
If there is one thing students learn even if they fail all their classes they learn how to aggressively get a parking spot. You have to show no fear because there are literally hundreds of less parking spaces than there are commuters on campus at various times during the day.
Even if you allow yourself an extra 15 minutes you are likely to be zipping around the parking lot looking for a vacant space anyway. In some parking lots anxious drivers will pile up causing gridlock and stalk students as they walk to their car. Sometimes when I just need to go to my car for something I will pretend that I am leaving so they sit there like and idiot with their turn signal on. They hate that,… I like to torture them.
I almost perished several times looking for a resting spot for the tempo. Just mere weeks ago I came my penis’s length of having a head on collusion. Hot brunette chicks in bright red cars are the most deadly drivers out there. If they are smoking a cigarette or on a cell phone your chances of meeting the reaper are even better. One time I had a stand off with what appeared to be an unconvential student (liberal word for old student) . We stopped our cars face to face even though she reached the spot first. I veered the tempo into the spot and cut the bitch off. I can still see the appalled look on her face. You must show no fear.
I have seen it all from people giving up parking on yellow lines that serve no purpose, parking on grass, ignorantly blocking other cars in their spaces, and even jumping a curb to make it into the employee lot. I even saw someone back out and crunch the jeep next to it. They tore off a tail light and dented the back of the jeep. The driver nonchalantly drove away. I was too shocked to do anything about it.
The longer you go with out finding a spot….the angrier you become. You keep passing the same damn cars circling around the lots trying to beat you to the chase. Soon you start to accelerate and make pedestrians yield to you. It is all part of the game. The most frustrating scenarios are getting stuck behind a stand-off and mistaking a short car for an empty spot. This would sometimes result in my whacking the steering wheel violently.
Rowan is nice enough to charge us 20 dollars for the privilege of dangling a blue tag from our car despite the fact we don’t always have a spot waiting for us. Ryan told me how he beat the system by not registering his car and letting tickets pile up. Many have tried. All have failed to beat the system and stick it to the man. They can not be stopped. I guess that is why the call him Trouble.
Well for some reason or another I am excused from my Movies final with a B +, so that leaves one day of classes and two finals ending a week from Thursday. So continues the FINAL DAYS OF COLLEGE on Tucker's World.
“Commuters and Residents”
I transferred to Rowan when I was already 21 and past the point where I desired to share a dorm with a random dude and live the college life. Oddly enough, most the friends I made (with exception of two that I can think of) on campus were commuters.
Kinda, bizarre like we give off some sort of vibe. We gather in little clusters on campus and interact.
Commuter friends are unique in the sense that you can know people pretty well over the course of a school year, but rarely do you break the barrier of each other’s social worlds. For the most part everyone just says have a good weekend and you part ways. Sure someexchange numbers on occasion but rarely does anyone call each other.
Heck even some residents go home on the weekends since Thursday night and Friday night are the only big party nights on campus. Rowan has gotten the label suitcase college, because the campus empties out for the most part on the weekend. Granted most the North Jerseysans remain, but it is not like the campus on Dead Man on Campus. Perhaps I am not worthy enough to live in the same exicting social scene of the great Leigh Payner.
Its funny though I did over the years develop a six sense on how to spot a commuter and resident with in minutes of talking to or observing them.
Commuters:
Usually they are pretty well dressed, especially the girls.
Most of them dart out of the classroom as fast as they can so they can get the hell out of there.
None of them know where the Rat is, or what is it or how to get there. However they are aware of it’s existence.
I have a little of a week to find the Rat.
Most of them have CCC stickers on their cars.
Most of them see residents as immature, annoying or stuck up.
Most of them live at home still and haven’t lived away from home.
The hot girls all have long-term boyfriends for the most part, at least that’s what they tell Keith.er I mean Tucker.
All of them suffer from Road Rage.
They know someone who has gotten suckered into selling knives after finding a intriguing flyer on their
car.
They use the phrase “Sorry for the mess, I live out of my car”
Residents:
Usually have some sort of Drama going on when they gather in groups they make vocal for a everyone sitting in the class.
They all dress like bums, some shuffle to class in P.Js.
They all own shirts or some sort of clothing with the Rowan name on it and many of them proudly display decals on their cars. How anyone can justify paying 50 bucks or more for Rowan Sweatshirt is beyond this blogger.
They actually follow the sports teams
They cut class more often
Very few of them work, so they spend 60 percent of the day sleeping.
“Action conquers fear”---------- Peter N. Zarlenga
+++
“Parking Spot Shark”
If there is one thing students learn even if they fail all their classes they learn how to aggressively get a parking spot. You have to show no fear because there are literally hundreds of less parking spaces than there are commuters on campus at various times during the day.
Even if you allow yourself an extra 15 minutes you are likely to be zipping around the parking lot looking for a vacant space anyway. In some parking lots anxious drivers will pile up causing gridlock and stalk students as they walk to their car. Sometimes when I just need to go to my car for something I will pretend that I am leaving so they sit there like and idiot with their turn signal on. They hate that,… I like to torture them.
I almost perished several times looking for a resting spot for the tempo. Just mere weeks ago I came my penis’s length of having a head on collusion. Hot brunette chicks in bright red cars are the most deadly drivers out there. If they are smoking a cigarette or on a cell phone your chances of meeting the reaper are even better. One time I had a stand off with what appeared to be an unconvential student (liberal word for old student) . We stopped our cars face to face even though she reached the spot first. I veered the tempo into the spot and cut the bitch off. I can still see the appalled look on her face. You must show no fear.
I have seen it all from people giving up parking on yellow lines that serve no purpose, parking on grass, ignorantly blocking other cars in their spaces, and even jumping a curb to make it into the employee lot. I even saw someone back out and crunch the jeep next to it. They tore off a tail light and dented the back of the jeep. The driver nonchalantly drove away. I was too shocked to do anything about it.
The longer you go with out finding a spot….the angrier you become. You keep passing the same damn cars circling around the lots trying to beat you to the chase. Soon you start to accelerate and make pedestrians yield to you. It is all part of the game. The most frustrating scenarios are getting stuck behind a stand-off and mistaking a short car for an empty spot. This would sometimes result in my whacking the steering wheel violently.
Rowan is nice enough to charge us 20 dollars for the privilege of dangling a blue tag from our car despite the fact we don’t always have a spot waiting for us. Ryan told me how he beat the system by not registering his car and letting tickets pile up. Many have tried. All have failed to beat the system and stick it to the man. They can not be stopped. I guess that is why the call him Trouble.
Sunday, December 08, 2002
“ What Weapons? ”
The good people of Iraq have submitted a ridiculously long document claiming they don’t have any weapons of mass destruction. Of course, the document has been written mostly in Arabic so it might be awhile before we know why exactly it takes so many pages to say we don’t have weapons.
However, if you think about it what is taking place right now it is just kind of silly. I mean the people of Iraq are leading around the weapon inspectors from place to place. I am not sure what the inspectors hope to find. Do they think that there will be a pile of anthrax sitting on the floor, and the Iraqi leading them around will simply say.
“SCREW YOUR INSPECTIONS!”, grab his crouch and laugh.
So far as far as I gather they just lead them around randomly. And ask…
“Do you see anything yet?”
“Nah, everything is in tip top shape!” says the American Inspector tapping his clip board with a pen.
My point is if they have them its not likely we will find them. I mean we could easily hide weapons of mass destruction in New Jersey to some one who didn’t know every square inch. Of course, the Iraqis could just be playing musical weapons and moving what they have in advance after inspectors leave the previous site.
I keep hearing vague claims that America has their own “evidence” if that is the case, than why are we wasting time and money doing this charade? Out of obligation to the UN perhaps? I wonder if we come up empty handed if we will still find a beef with Iraq. At least provide our evidence at this point.
Why don’t we spend more time trying to find a 9/11 link to justify leveling the country. I would feel a lot better about the potential war if concrete evidence was provided. I would hope that if there was a link we would be competent to come up with it at this point. I honestly would not at all be surprised if Iraq was a silent partner in the attack on America. However, I cannot justify war on a gut instinct.
At times it seems Bush will go to war regardless of what is found in Iraq or it there is even a link. One of the Axis’ of Evil Korea mocked us by claiming they have weapons of mass destructions. Our response as America was, “EH”.
Bush seems gung-ho for an attack on Iraq. Some think that he will just call Iraq a bunch of liars after reading the report ( I am sure he will have to read the cliff’s notes version of the document). Last, I heard he was trying to blame Iraq on the early winter snow and ice storms that gripped the east coast last week.
My last week of classes EVER starts this week so it is time to kick off the Final Days of College Week. So everyone get out your Rowan colors….uh…blue and …yellow? Ah who cares.
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action”--------- Frank Tibolt
“Procrastination”
I am amazed I handed only a couple of minor assignments in late in my 4.5 years of higher education. Half-assed, sloppy and careless occasionally but for the most part I got everything in before the deadline. Studying for an exam also became something I would put off till the last minute at times making the task to memorize terms more daunting in a shorter amount of time. Lame excuse after lame excuse. Just waiting for inspiration right?
As time between the initial knowledge of the deadline or exam shrank I would come out with weaker and weaker excuses to put off doing the work. Even more so the farther I got into my education. Ah. I have all day Monday! Wait just after this really funny SNL I have seen multiple times. Uh-oh time for the Flyers game 3 hours right there! I knew it was bad when I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on Jim J. Bullock.
In my Rowan years I had the chance to work with lots of other students in various other groups. It was hear that I learned that other students were worse. Many a time it was a joint procrastination (that sounded dirty) when my meeting would mostly involve deciding what food to get and where for the meeting. Sometimes only half of use would show up and just do nothing.
As much as I hated schoolwork at least it gave me something to do and taught me discipline. I actually did gain knowledge through some of it. Of course classes like Statics has since been lost and is basically useless in real life anyway. What am I going to do to with my extra time come the end of the month? Maybe I still start running. Yeah if I start running tomorrow I could be in really good shape by the summer. I could show off those huge calves on the beach. Wait..on second thought….its going to be cold tomorrow and I am busy. I will do it Tuesday.
The good people of Iraq have submitted a ridiculously long document claiming they don’t have any weapons of mass destruction. Of course, the document has been written mostly in Arabic so it might be awhile before we know why exactly it takes so many pages to say we don’t have weapons.
However, if you think about it what is taking place right now it is just kind of silly. I mean the people of Iraq are leading around the weapon inspectors from place to place. I am not sure what the inspectors hope to find. Do they think that there will be a pile of anthrax sitting on the floor, and the Iraqi leading them around will simply say.
“SCREW YOUR INSPECTIONS!”, grab his crouch and laugh.
So far as far as I gather they just lead them around randomly. And ask…
“Do you see anything yet?”
“Nah, everything is in tip top shape!” says the American Inspector tapping his clip board with a pen.
My point is if they have them its not likely we will find them. I mean we could easily hide weapons of mass destruction in New Jersey to some one who didn’t know every square inch. Of course, the Iraqis could just be playing musical weapons and moving what they have in advance after inspectors leave the previous site.
I keep hearing vague claims that America has their own “evidence” if that is the case, than why are we wasting time and money doing this charade? Out of obligation to the UN perhaps? I wonder if we come up empty handed if we will still find a beef with Iraq. At least provide our evidence at this point.
Why don’t we spend more time trying to find a 9/11 link to justify leveling the country. I would feel a lot better about the potential war if concrete evidence was provided. I would hope that if there was a link we would be competent to come up with it at this point. I honestly would not at all be surprised if Iraq was a silent partner in the attack on America. However, I cannot justify war on a gut instinct.
At times it seems Bush will go to war regardless of what is found in Iraq or it there is even a link. One of the Axis’ of Evil Korea mocked us by claiming they have weapons of mass destructions. Our response as America was, “EH”.
Bush seems gung-ho for an attack on Iraq. Some think that he will just call Iraq a bunch of liars after reading the report ( I am sure he will have to read the cliff’s notes version of the document). Last, I heard he was trying to blame Iraq on the early winter snow and ice storms that gripped the east coast last week.
My last week of classes EVER starts this week so it is time to kick off the Final Days of College Week. So everyone get out your Rowan colors….uh…blue and …yellow? Ah who cares.
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action”--------- Frank Tibolt
“Procrastination”
I am amazed I handed only a couple of minor assignments in late in my 4.5 years of higher education. Half-assed, sloppy and careless occasionally but for the most part I got everything in before the deadline. Studying for an exam also became something I would put off till the last minute at times making the task to memorize terms more daunting in a shorter amount of time. Lame excuse after lame excuse. Just waiting for inspiration right?
As time between the initial knowledge of the deadline or exam shrank I would come out with weaker and weaker excuses to put off doing the work. Even more so the farther I got into my education. Ah. I have all day Monday! Wait just after this really funny SNL I have seen multiple times. Uh-oh time for the Flyers game 3 hours right there! I knew it was bad when I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on Jim J. Bullock.
In my Rowan years I had the chance to work with lots of other students in various other groups. It was hear that I learned that other students were worse. Many a time it was a joint procrastination (that sounded dirty) when my meeting would mostly involve deciding what food to get and where for the meeting. Sometimes only half of use would show up and just do nothing.
As much as I hated schoolwork at least it gave me something to do and taught me discipline. I actually did gain knowledge through some of it. Of course classes like Statics has since been lost and is basically useless in real life anyway. What am I going to do to with my extra time come the end of the month? Maybe I still start running. Yeah if I start running tomorrow I could be in really good shape by the summer. I could show off those huge calves on the beach. Wait..on second thought….its going to be cold tomorrow and I am busy. I will do it Tuesday.
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