“Gassing Geese”

They say its because of South Jersey’s love for nice golf courses, various ponds, and larger acres of polished lands that have persuaded Canadian Snow guess to be not so Canadian. Maybe its because we as South Jerseyans refuse to “not feed the waterfowl”. Maybe they just like pooping on our 24 hour dinners, or the taste of contaminated water. Maybe they wanted to be considered American Geese so people would not associate them with Tom Greene. Whatever reason many Geese don’t bother to migrate anymore. They just pretty much stay here all year around. Pooping and eating the food we throw at them.

Brigantine a shore resort just to the North of Atlantic City is number one on the list of disgruntled South Jersey towns who want to geese to get the flock out of here. The state of New Jersey tired to discourage the public from feeding them, because it encourages them to stay, and poop on our belongings. The used fireworks an attempt to spook them. They even contracted a guy that used collies to try to chase them out of public parks. That didn’t work all that well.

So just recently 450 Canadian Geese were gassed to death. Of course treating the little waddling birds like Iraiqis has the animal lovers in an uproar. However, the division of Fish and Wild Life of the FBI approved this feathered genocide. They don’t think there is enough food to go around for all the birds this fall.
I still haven’t figured out how they gassed all these geese.. I wonder if they dressed up a decoy duck to look all hot like Elmer Fudd used to do to hunt Daffy.

Another technique is smashing eggs before the ducks can be born. Sounds like a horrible job. However before you start smashing eggs in hopes the state will show its gratitude by lowering your car insurance I must warn you, you have to be licensed to squish the eggs. The state looks to raise the number of ducks on the death list this fall in attempts to thin the population. So if there is a duck in your neighborhood that you have named, you might want to tell him to fly to Delware or something.

If you think it’s a mean thing to make the ducks meet the reaper, you might want to consider the fact that their crap creates disease. Also I have a source that says they are trying to actively obtain enriched uranium.