"Tucker Vs the Spider"

On the wall by my computer tonight was easily the largest spider I have ever seen outside of a zoo or on the discovery channel. It was so large that for a second I swore it was a joke my father was playing on me. Since he had been here the other night, I swore it had to be fake. This thing was at least the size of my cell phone. The frist swipe I took at it, it litterally leaped onto my computer desk. The second swipe (With a larger roll of newspaper) made him into a mile of oooze and gore. That could have been an escaped pet for all I know. That thing was frigging huge. I am going to sleep with one eye open tonight. Hoping that his brothers dont seek revenge and spin me into a web of death.