"Bad Joke of the Week"

Why are pirates so popular?
They just arrrr.

"80"

For those of you who feared seeing any snow updates on this blog. This blogs for you. After last week with picture perfect weather, in addition to coldish night its going to feel a lot like summer. Its hitting 80 tomorrow (actually hit it today in some parts) and it will get even hotter on Weds. Some people think it could push 90!.

So, get out and buy me water ice and drop it by my house. The old crazy guy for Great Adventure is dancing on TV, lawn mowers are going, the odor of millions of grills and trips to the shore aren't far behind.

"Brocktoon"

I just love this SNL skit and saw it again recently on E!. I looked hard and long to find a link that would be able to provide the video of it, but came up empty handed. I did though find the transcript of it.

The skit was from the early 90's. It was when Tom Hanks hosted and his funny as hell in this skit. The link provides the actors who played in this skit. Including Phil Hartmen who delivered his lines really creepy, Chris Farely, Mike Meyers, and Tim Meadows.

The skit was about a group of people who are fans of the guy who played Mr. Belvedere on the late 80's sitcom. I laugh just reading the transcript of it. Needless to say the people who are at this meeting are a little off center. The exchange between Hanks and Farley is classic. ahttp://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91sbelvedere.phtml

"Your My Slave"

So my nephew just loves this little oddly shaped baseball field near my house. He loves it even more now that they got rid of a the hockey rink (LOCKOUT) that was mainly used by weeded up skateboaders and people who for whatever reason love to smash glass bottles on cement. In place of the eye sore of a hockey ring (the nets were stolen 15 years ago at least so it had no purpose) a playground was built. Acutally they stoped and several feet of the ill-fated rink remains. Perhaps the glass smashers of my neighborhood have some sort of policitcal clout.

One thing he loves even more then that little ball field is the Transformers. Now I am not talking about the horribly drawn idiotic one shown now. I am refering to the original 1980's series now on DVD. Thanks mainly to his beloved uncle. One episode inparticular in the first season was entitled THE ULTIMATE DOOM. The 3-part epic had Megatron up to his old ticks trying to bring his home planet close to earth in order to take its energy. In order to aid him in his nasty plan he enlisted the help of an evil scientist who planted chips on humans behind their ears in order to make them mindless slaves.

One unlucky lad was Spark Plug the father of Spike. Believe me or not they are actually both humans. So, Spark Plug becomes a mindless slave. My nephew tells me about this show several times over the course of a visit. He even quotes the show and screams like poor Spark PLug does everytime the chip is turned on and his forced to do evil against his will.

So, recently he went to the ballfield with my mother and brothers wife. When he was there another kid showed up to play with his mother. THe kid was an african american boy, and well my nephew decided to quote the worse line he could have from the show.

He ran up to the poor kid and told him he was going to be HIS SLAVE. Of couse this awkard exchange in front of his mother (who was actually white) resulted in my sister in laws face turning redder then a Phillies ball cap.

The mother said something to the effect of not liking that kind of language.


Sometimes I wish I was an autobot. Hmmm...did I think that or type that? Ah, no matter.

"Bad Joke of the Week"

Sorry in advance for this one folks.


What is Count Dracula's favorite landmark?
The Vampire State Building.

"Bush's IPOD"

I still never see any reason why I would ever own one. However, they are the new crazy. We all knew songs Jon has on his. So, why not the leader of the free world? I actually know less of his music selection. What, no Petty Dubbya? Click here for more. Remember to make it look like you are doing work.

"Insert Witty Blog Title Post Here"

People with quite a bit more free time then me and certainly a lot more money than this humble blogger have compiled a list of famous people who look better or worse on HDTV. Some people apperently show signs of age or bad skin easier. Makes you wonder if they will start air burshing films. I swear they did it for the Charlie's Angels Films. Anyway here is the list. Apperently, George Clooney is handsome in any format.

"Can I Get Some Lemonade?"

Sometimes I just hear lyrics wrong. I am sure everyone does and they know thats not the lyrics. Take the Black Crowes song "Remedy" when the background singers kick in they always sound like they are saying. "Can I get some Lemonade?" Given the warm sunny weather around these parts sure sounds good to me!

"The Core"

A lot of my science knowledge comes from the 80's cartoon Transfromers. In one of the earlier shows titled "The Core" Megatron got the constructicons to dig a huge hole in the earth in order to tap into the earth's energy. Earlier in the series most the shows revolved around the Depicitcons looking for energy sources.

Starscream was imedately against the noton since drilling into the planet would be like drilling into a large rock which would cause it to explode. Meagtron wouldn't have it and went through with his plan anyway. Sure, enough the Earth started to shake and end was maybe near. Optimus and Megatron were even forced to join forces in order to try and stop it.

Anyway, this is a long way to go provide you with a link that you likely won't ever click on. However, when I read this article about making a hole through the earth's crust. I wondered if they needed someone to buy them the DVD's of the Transformers. It's funny they seem to be doing it just for the heck of it.

Now, I really don't think the world would explode, but are they at least looking for Oil while there down there? After the earth's curst is the mantle. They didn't say if they were going to stop there or not. I think I will just be standing near the space bridge just in case.

"Who Wants to Take a Shot at Bettman?"

For those of you that still care (I doubt it's many at this point). Here is they update for the NHL lockout. Since it get almost no coverage at all it might still be news to some. The NHL offered a laughable offer if not down right insulting to the NHLPA with a cap of 37.5 million or so. Of course they rejected it.

So the union is all miffed at the NHL who said they would play next season with or without union players. Bascially using replacement players. The NHLPA then said they would take back all the money shelled out from their war chest to any player who becomes a scab. I really wouldn't want be to the guy who has to knock on Tie Domi's door to ask for thousands of dollars back if it comes to that.

The NHLPA didn't want to stop there since they haven't pissed enough groups of people off at this point. They also threatened to strip the certification for any agent who has a player cross the picket lines. Who knows if they can even do this, but after the draft was canceled neither side seems to even really know what the heck the rullings are on some things. This of course made the agents irrate who were saying basically that their job is to help their client get paid well for their job and find work. So, who is the NHLPA to tell them they can't do that? Hell their clients are all playing in Europe or the AHL with caps. So, why would the agent not want to get them a better paying gig?

So, if that another nail in the coffin of the NHL. I really see this getting to the point of no return if the situation isnt fixed by mid July. No Keith exageration here. The death of the league. How could Bettman say he was successful if they use scrubs and no one comes out to see no names play and the oweners all lose even more money. In fact thats what would happen, and I doubt the leauge would stay a float long enough for playoffs. So, anyone...who want to take a shot at GARY BETTMAN?

BAD JOKE

What do you say when a dog runs away?


Dog-gone!

"PREIT Stalls Again"

For the 2nd time in as many months PREIT has pulled their intentions on putting their Wal-Mart/Echelon Mall plan to vote at the last minute. It was supposed to go up tomorrow, but it won't happen.

It's unclear wheather or not PREIT is throwing in the towel at this point. Going back to the drawling board, or just using a delay tactic to get the protesters to lose interest. The last opition it unlikely, since the last time they did the Anti-Wal Mart movement mushroomed with power.

The people are irrate over traffic, and seem content on the mall shutting its doors for good. Just recently, the children's photo store closed up. Also the Firestone tire store is rumored to be closing this week. The store was set to be knocked down for a gas station. However, if this plan falls through it will just add to the ever growing list of empty store in down town Voorhees.

PREIT certianly couldn't think they had a snowball's chance in hell to get their plan approved tonight so perhaps it was a good move. The SAVE VOORHEES movement continues to gloss over any mention of the dinning places or the new stores. They also fail to point out the lose of jobs that will occur when the mall offically closes. They also leave out how an entire empty mall would benefit the town.

Thinks were going to get heated for the meeting. Now it's just time sit in wait. Perhaps Wal-Mart wants to avoid addition bad press and isn't going to press the issue anymore. However, I can't imagine PREIT getting this far and rolling over dead.

For those of you that want the mall to stay open. Well as friend of mine used to always say.


"It Ain't Looking Too Good"

"Even More Brutual"

It's not even Memorial Day yet (when the prices really start to climb) and you are hard pressed to find a place to sell you regular unleaded gas less then 2.00 a gallon. Sadly, NJ is the cheapest of them all. Prices keep climbing with no signs of letting up. Coming at a time when the economy is seemingly getting back on it's feet. Also the time when people are traveling for vacations and what not. Could these prices get out of hand and cripple the economy in ways we never saw?
Related ARticle

"Seinfeld's Dad"

With all the news coverage going to the pope and the right to die/ live debate most people didn't even hear this. However the actor who played Jerry Seinfeld's father on the long running sitcom died of a cancer a week ago last Saturday. Kind of like when Earl Hindman who played Wilson on Home Improvement died last year I am surprised how little press it got.

The actor's name Barney Martin (heck even I had to look it up) was the second actor to play Jerry's dad. He replaced some thin dude with a come over who was only in the show pilot. He really nailed the role of Jerry's father. A few of my favoriate moments were when he was ranting about velcro and when he blurted out "Pinko Commie Rag" about the newsletter sent out in his retirement home.

Read his bio last week. Turns out he was once a private investigator, a WWII vet, and married to the same woman for since the 1940s. He also showed up on Murder She Wrote (I flipped past one day and he was wearing the same black thick framed glasses he would wear in the final season of seinfeld.) and he played the guy who Joey took over for to become the host of the Ranger Joe show.

Also, at the end of last week Frank"The Chicken Guy" Perdue passed away. Although, I swear he died sometime in the late 1990's.


Post some of your fav. Jerry's Dad moments if you have any.

"Pope John Paul, 1920-2005"

We saw it coming. Sad none the less the Pope is gone. On the bright side if you believe in heaven and hell (Its okay if you don't. ) you would agree that he is in better place now. He seemingly has been suffering for a long time. Don't know if any of my readers are catholic which it might have hit harder. Well now we get to see something that most of us were too young to see before or follow the naming of new pope. It will be different I think since he will likely be drastically younger than what we were used to. No reason to link an article, just pick up the paper, look on the net, watch the news channels for the next 72 hours. They will even have pictures unlike this humble blog.

"US to Cease to Exist by 2007; Says Koran"

Want the good news first? Well we don't have to worry about social security anymore. However, if you think this guy is right the bad news is we will all be killed in giant tidal waves on both sides of the country. This guy being a Koran Scholar who thinks are time is soon to be up. Claiming these tsunamis of Asia will look like a day at the beach for us. Claiming the sins of America going back to the murdering of the Indians will come back to haunt them. Of course I don't buy into it. Well read this little article.

"NHL to Have a 30 team playoffs in Late May"

Huge news. I just heard this at 610 WIP so, I have no links. HOwever, behind closed doors the NHL's two sides have come to an agreement and not only are ready for next season. They are planning to have tournment starting at the end of next month with all 30 teams!

It's unclear how they could actually figure out who will play who. Perhaps based on their standings from last season. They are having a press conference on Monday to clear all those questions.

Clearly, this is a bold move. Certainly, they actually see the WHA's tournment as a huge threat. Now that the NHL will have one of their own it's likely most players will past on the WHA tournment to be held in June. A huge blow the start up league.

Great news, I know many casual fans will mock them for throwing a HOCKEY tournment when the summer is about to start. But, hockey is hockey. Just remember that we will have a regular season next year anyway. So all is well.

Im really excited although obviously this Cup winner wont be as reveared as other ones, but still. Time to GET CUUUUUUUUUP Crazy.




APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn, you fell for that didn't ya?

"Save Voorhees Comes out Swinging"

A group of people have started the SAVE VOORHEES campaign. They want to save it from having a big box Wal-Mart by the Echelon Mall. Not long after the mall owners put up their new plans for their signs in the now empty Sam Goody the people for SAVE VOORHEES were out on Somerdale road waving their ANTI-Wal Mart signs. Dan K reported seeing a huge sign on Somerdale Road.

The group is meeting tonight to try to get together conerned citizens. They have posted a pictures of the location of the location of the potential Wal-mart. They seem to be horrified how close it is to their schools and homes! They also voiced their fear of trucks. No mention on the other stores returning to the mall or joining the mall. Just all slamming Wal-Mart.

The drop dead date is slated for April 6th, and it's doubtful PREIT could pull out if they wanted to at this point. It certainly won't be the quiet evening they had hoped for. It could even get ugly since the decision is likely to be reached. I find little support for the Wal-Mart by the people of Voorhees. Perhaps they have the mayor or some politicians in their pocket, but its looking like the Echelon Mall's feeding tube will be pulled next week. Hopefully, no one be driving trucks to the meeting.

Check out the people of Voorhees, speaking out.

"Save Voorhees Comes out Swinging"

A group of people have started the SAVE VOORHEES campaign. They want to save it from having a big box Wal-Mart by the Echelon Mall. Not long after the mall owners put up their new plans for their signs in the now empty Sam Goody the people for SAVE VOORHEES were out on Somerdale road waving their ANTI-Wal Mart signs. Dan K reported seeing a huge sign on Somerdale Road.

The group is meeting tonight to try to get together conerned citizens. They have posted a pictures of the location of the location of the potential Wal-mart. They seem to be horrified how close it is to their schools and homes! They also voiced their fear of trucks. No mention on the other stores returning to the mall or joining the mall. Just all slamming Wal-Mart.

The drop dead date is slated for April 6th, and it's doubtful PREIT could pull out if they wanted to at this point. It certainly won't be the quiet evening they had hoped for. It could even get ugly since the decision is likely to be reached. I find little support for the Wal-Mart by the people of Voorhees. Perhaps they have the mayor or some politicians in their pocket, but its looking like the Echelon Mall's feeding tube will be pulled next week. Hopefully, no one be driving trucks to the meeting.

Check out the people of Voorhees, speaking out.

"BAD JOKE WEDNESDAY"

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY everybody! Its time for BAD JOKE WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!




Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.