"Lesbian Roast"

So out of the blue Ryan and are invited to a former classmate’s surprise 24th b-day party by her girlfriend (not that there is anything wrong with that). It just seems a little strange mainly since Ryan has seen her very few times since we graduated highschool back in 1998. DAMN WE ARE OLD.

Anyway I wouldn’t know the girlfriend who is organizing the event if I ran her over with my 1991 Ford Tempo. So I take it she got my address from an old year book. Now I have seen the guest of honor some what recently. I see her maybe 4 times a year, but that is only because I happen to be at Starview or the same bar as her. I did see more of her since the end of Sterling since we both went to CCC. She didn’t change much still had all kinds of drama going on from what I gathered.

Anyway the party is a “roast” kind of like the things you see on Comedy Central. In addition it is a fundraiser. They are raising money so she gets a car for her 24th b-day. Now keep in mind she wasn’t in some sort of accident or anything. In fact just a week ago I saw her at Somerdale and the Pike at a red light. Her car was nicer than mine! It was kind of old, but I guess could use anew one. Yet the invitation suggests donations from 20-75 to the get her a car fund.

The invitation claims how proud we are all of her recent accomplishments. The last time I saw her was at the diner almost 4 months ago, and I at the time was only working one day a week so I thought I was going to need another job and she offered me a part time job for the summer chich was nice (that only lasted two weeks or so for those of you that still think I work one day a week) . She told me she was working for some movie company or owned some company that does props work for movies when they are shot here. Apparently its not going to well if she can not afford a car of her own. I havent talked to her since.

Now what I don’t get am I obligated to donate the 20 bucks to get in? I don’t spend that much on a friend let alone a casual acquaintance. I mean my car is older and has been around since I was still at Parkview Elementary for Gods sakes. When are people going to raise money for me? We are allowed to make jokes I think. The only one I could think of is that she got more girls in highschool than I did.

The only thing I can think is that they are really scrapping the bottom of the barrel when they got to me. I only hung out with the girl through other people. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against her or her lifestyle but I have not been invited to people’s wedding who I considered myself closer with at some point let alone some friend of mutual friends fundraising b-day.

I can’t figure out if this was a really ballsy unique move, or plan out weird.

Surprise Roast Fundraiser, eh? ((stroking chin))

::: picturing a fundraiser for baby beanzie::

Oh wait, Jenna hated all the girls in high school and broke too many of the guys hearts, and no one remembers who Jay is. Eh, ain’t my kid.

Although If Dan K decides to have a bachelor party(assuming I am invited to his wedding.) I better start making a mental guest list. Even though his party will likely be in a chatroom. Here is what I have so far.

Dan Pike
Jim Amlio
Ray Shawn “The Chief” Hall
Andrew “Vegal,Andy, Drew, Puma, Destro, Uncle Drew,”Vogel.
Lima Beanz
Ed
Matt Owens (perhaps a rematch of the famous St. Luke’s Showdown?)
Old Mantis
Jaun Rios
Jason Kennedy
Jon Shane
Steve Libby
Jason Good

So what did we learn from this article? Well I guess sometimes it is better for me to go up and make a bologna sandwich and go to bed instead of writing for Tucker's World.

For the record I don't see myself making the event.