"Hope"

The double doors fly open from the student center. I am greeted by that mid-fall sun. The sun seems reluctant to let the summer heat slip away. But it is simply no match for the crisp autumn air. Even the leafs do a little dance before landing to the ground. Circling around and drifting skyward before ending in just another pile of dead counterparts.

I try to avoid eye contact with a middle aged gentlemen dressed in a long dark overcoat. He is handing out little green books of the new testament. Not that IM anti-Christianity and like the majority of my generation, but I know I will just break my promise to myself to actually read it. It would be better if the words actually reach someone.

However, we make eye contact. I walk towards him, and he leans over and hands me one. His hair gray curled blows in the wind and he just simply nods his head.

"God Bless You"

"T-thank you sir"

I am not sure what the proper response to someone saying that to you is, but that is the best I have came up with so far. I wonder how long it will be before I break this promise. I place it in the outside pouch of my backpack. At the very least, maybe it will serve as a good luck charm. I continue walking away to the center, and not paying much attention to a table set up and a few men in army uniforms standing around it. Pretty ironic to have that next to a man with bibles I thought.

Just as I started walking away from the table. I heard a voice call me name. I looked up at the uniformed men, and had no idea who any of them are. When a black gentlemen about my age came to me, and offered me his hand I figured he was the one that called out his name. Our hands shook and his hand significantly larger than mine and could have fit around my waist.

"You go here now?!!?"

Apparently, I had a class with him back at my old college .

"Yeah for quite awhile. How long have you been in? I didn't even realize"

"I got sucked in a two years ago!" he said followed by a jubilant laugh. "Seriously..it is in my blood. My dad, my uncle, they were all enlisted. My dad even saw some action in Nam. Figure I will got out there, and get Saddam, and get my picture on TIME magazine or some shit.

Now I remember him, after hearing that laugh. You would think he would have lost some that, considered how dangerous it is to be in his field these days. Jesus..what was his name? He than motioned me over, with his large hand. He put his hand on my shoulder and appeared he was about to tell me some sort of secret.

"You know were going in December? Yeah the Iraq thing is set. We are going in."

"Yeah...I saw on the news. Hadn't figured on that early though."

"Boy, don't ya, think there is lotz you don't on the news?" he followed this up by his trademark laugh.

All I could think about the whole time was reading about how heroic he was in the paper. People trying to justify him losing his life at such an early stage. I thought about his mother hearing the news from a complete stranger and totally losing it, or worse yet from he media. His mother just collapsing to the floor. I doubt he ever even thought about anything this dark. I guess I just have a sick mind.

"So, whatcha learning here?"

"How to waste my parents money!" , I said sarcastically. We engaged in some more generic small talk, before we gave each other signals the conversation was over.

"Alright, man..I will talk to you"

"Be safe", I said I as I turned away.
I cramed my hands in my pockets and walked away. The campus kinda looks like a small colony of ants at times. People running back and forth. People just walking to class, people on skate boards, jogging, and socializing. I pass one couple holding hands. The type of couple that obviously have invested so much time, and effort into making sure their partner is the one that a break up would be disastrous. Just two humans completely depended on each other. A break up would have ment the last years were not only a waste of time, but a blockade for meeting the right person. I am not sure if I should feel sorry for them or envy them. Jesus, maybe I should have been a pysch. major.


As I continued to walk, I saw clusters of students frivolously studying. Everyone trying to fill their brain with enough information in order to pass the next test. Some having a moment on their way to something better others just doing it to make it to the next day.

I pass this beautiful Italian girl I used to have a class with. Usually we stop and talk for a little bit, but she is obviously in a hurry. We only say hello to each other. She once told me about all the volunteer work that she does. She honestly just wants to help people. She works at shelters on her own time. Amazing to someone who doesn’t like to hold the door for people.

The clouds moved in now and the sky started to gray. I slowed down to take a look at the sky, when I heard someone call my name. A girl who I had a class with last semester came bouncing down the sidewalk. She came over and gave me a big hug. She has such a youthful face and perfect cute body. She was 19 an in the prime of her sex appeal.

“Check this out!” she handed me a playbill. It was for Romeo and Juliet. Her name was there with big bold letters. I looked at it.

“I got thousands of them if you want to keep it for when I’m famous.” She said. .

“Maybe one night I will be discovered soon, and I wont ever have to open another book. Its going to happen if you want it to, don’t you think?”

“Sure” I said looking at the ground.

I wanted to tell her that the college we go to isn’t exactly the hotbed for becoming and actor and she would be better off perusing something else. Also that many people never become a success at acting. But I didn’t cause it was the cutest thing I heard in years.

We came to another building as we began to walk together.

“ You graduate in May, right?”. She said as we stood facing each other. Such spirit in her in her wide eyes.

“Yeah I do”

“That’s so awesome!.

“Yeah if anyone will hire me! I mean Christ my uncle just got laid off after being with a company for 35 years. it would be awesome if I could just get a company to hire someone like me!”

“Aww…they will .” Shes said sweetly. She could have told me the sky was red in that voice and I would have been reassured. “ But listen I have to go, but we should get together sometime”, she took a pen out and scribbled her number on the playbill. We gave a quick hug, and I got one last smell of her perfume. I never did call her.

“You will be fine!” she said as she disappeared down the sidewalk.

“ I HOPE so” I said…because sometimes I thought to myself that’s all you got.