“OSAMA Where You Been Hiding”
(read that out loud really fast)

Good old Osama has shown up in out lives again. The terrorist mastermind has recently released a new tape. American officials are 99.9 percent sure it’s his voice anyway. Although Tucker’s World predicted that he went the way of NJF and Bill Maher’s career. I hate to be wrong, even more so when it means that this bearded dill-weed is still prancing around the desert. I thought for sure he was killed in the attacks of Torra Borra in December of last year, that was also the last we heard of him.

The message has to be recent because he refers to October events including a series of terrorist attacks. The events referecenced include the bombing of a French oil tanker in Yemen; the explosion that killed some 200 people in Bali, Indonesia, many of them Australian and British tourists; the hostage siege in a Moscow theater; and the assassination of a U.S. diplomat in Jordan. Also if you listen really closely you can hear J Lo’s single Jenny From the Block playing quietly in the background.

What reasons would he have to release the tape now? Perhaps he wanted it was to be released in conjunction with Iraq’s response to letting weapons inspectors in his country. Perhaps this might be a red flag to show their connection is stronger than most people thought. Perhaps he is just getting jealous about all the attention that Saddam is getting. I mean Saddam just got his own video game! Where kids can go in and hunt down the Iraq leader. Maybe he wanted to merchandise with his mug on it in time for the holiday season. If anyone sees rock them sock them robots with Bush vs either Osama or Saddam please have that under my tree Christmas morning.

But seriously loyal readers (both of you) as I type this I’m getting word from one of my sources (the Drudge Report) that the FBI has issued another confidential alert. Supposedly, the threat of spectacular attacks on the US has increased. Sources say they are likely to fall under some of these categories: high symbolic value, mass casualties, severe damage to the U.S. economy, and maximum psychological trauma. Things could get really ugly, and I fear we will see another signifigant attack on our soil. Remember its confidential so don’t tell anyone shhhhhhhh….

The war with Iraq I hear will only last about 3 months or so. If they get this puppy kicked off before Santa slides his ass down the chimneys, we can wrap up in time for February sweeps. The war with Iraq is still up in the air, and anyone who thinks its over most likely has bought a protection agreement before. However many people won't fully support it till they can prove Saddam had something to do with 9/11( even some ultra liberals still wont). I am sure Bush would like to do prove it too. Colin Powell was on TV last night and said they still don’t have direct evidence linking Iraq to the attack on America. Till than Bush will be singing: some day we will find it the al-Qaeda connection…..Colin Powell, John Aschroft and meeeeeeee…la de da da da da de….




note:
the archives have hopefully been fixed for my new readers just look to the left of the screen.