“First you jump off the cliff and you build your wings on the way down”-------Ray Bradbury



Time is growing shorter and shorter until the end of my career as a student. The time to try to find a away out of the Sears Outlet for good has arrived. However, tonight I had a nice dinner made for me by a friend in a class a few semesters back. After wards I got see a dry run of a puppet show she had to do for her puppetry class (don’t ask) . Pretty sweet deal for my last weekend night as a student.

Well I was thinking as I left the Rowan Campus tonight about some of my greatest Rowan moments. So lets us continue the FINAL DAYS of COLLEGE on Tucker's World.


“Moments in Time”


I got ridiculously drunk at a sorority house that Ryan brings the crew and me to. I was not even a Rowan student at the time, but I certainly gave them a warning that I was on the way. Over the course of the night I managed to smash part of a birthday cake, knock a picture off a wall, trip over a broken clothes rack clunking my head on a doorknob, and almost killed a bird.

Before you get all offended let me plead my case. My friends were all in the van waiting for me to rejoin them after I took a last minute potty stop. I was extremely intoxicated and for some reason no one bothered to safely escort me to the van. I went looking for my friends and saw them through the screened in porch. Wanting to save time (and avoid more destruction) I used the patio as a shortcut. However I was in no condition to get the complicated door open. While messing with the door I toppled over a birdcage, and down when the cage bird and all hurling towards the floor.

I watched in drunken horror as the light glistened of the falling cage, and the sound over changing thin metal mixed with squawking and feather flapping. A lame attempt to play it off ( it didn’t work judging by a girl screaming) was followed by a failed attempt to erect the cage and put the bird food that had spilled all over the floor back into the cage. Seeing as were I didn’t have the cage upright the food kept spilling out, and I kept sweeping it back in repeatedly. This Charlie Chaplin like whacky routine was put to and end when Rob Arter ( I miss him so much) came in and put his hand on my shoulder and shook his head. He helped my drunk ass get out of there. The bird died 3 months later. I clam no responsibility for his death.

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Another time we had a party in the same sorority house to go to. The crew grew bored of the party and frustrated with only fat chicks living there so they turned to destruction. The revolt was lead by Dan K. who usually encourages senseless acts of destruction and mayhem. He started it off by intentally smashing a vodka bottle on the floor leaving shattered glass and booze for someone else to clean up.

The destruction didn’t stop there. Holes were punched in the screened in porch for no reason, cereal boxes were punched open, the fridge was kicked several times, credit card bills were torn to bits, a sweat shirt was stolen (but lima beanz’s brother who was covered in jello) a cordless phone was stolen and smashed in the street. The night almost got out of hand when a drunken ryan picked up a piece of pile wood full of nails looking for something to make contact with. Oddly enough, Dan K. stopped him

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Yet another story involved just me and that stupid house. It was the end of my Public Relations Planning class, a really intense course for the major. During the semester, your group is to put an actual plan and present it to a real client. Anyway the last night when the final product had to be completed I figured since my portion of the plan had been finished I could just stay home and didn’t bother to contact anyone in my group. So I sit around on the couch like a slug while my group hurries to meet the deadline the which is the next day. I innocently sign on line to check my email before I go to bed, and am bombarded with angry IMS from group members.I think they tired to send me a virus. I finally make the drive out to the house (where ironically a girl in my group had lived at during the other two stories before I knew her) and let me tell you….you don’t want 6 girls angry at you at the same time. Being the only guy in the group was hell at times, but this was hell at its worse. I honestly thought they were going to murder me. Luckily I charmed them all into liking me again.

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Last year I spent many a night at MainStreet Bar with other public relations students getting intoxicated. Luckily one time I was up there I met this girl who I became friends with who lived on campus. This allowed me to get drunk and have a place to crash. The nights up there were great some of the most fun I had in the 2 years I went there were at the dive bar (although horrible when I brought anyone from my area). Hot girls. drunken friends doing karaoke. Anyway, this girl that lived on campus was quite friendly if you know what I mean.

So the first night I got back to her apartment to stay over I thought for sure I was going to get ..uh something. BUt I managed to have her sleep on my arm when she passed out. I just laid there and stared at the ceiling which was spinning at the time.
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Another time at Mainstreet a female friend of mine went into the mens room cause the line was shorter….it was pretty whacky I guess you had to be there. Another time at Mainstreet I met a hot girl that looked like one of the Olsen twins (the hot one). She bumped and grinded on me, eventually I bought her a drink, than she vanished. I think she lost a bet or something. All I know is I was a sucker that night! Hmm.. there was the time I mistook this really hot chick I talked to on campus for another really hot chick I knew on campus and talked to her as if she was the other. She must think I am a lunatic now. Oh yeah, and I almost could have been expelled when someone my group project plagiarized his part of the paper (unbeknownst to me)…allegedly.


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I also loved going to see Ryan’s grandparents who lived a few miles away from Campus on the short lived Ryan Mondays. It was cool, because it was my first semester and I didn’t really have any friends on campus yet. Plus his grandparents are cool as hell and would always feed me.


Just the concept of hot ass girls sitting all around me ( I took lots PR and pysch. Classes there which are always girl heavy) while I chill in class. This one chick that sat in front of me would always were a low cut pair of jeans and a thong. I will think of these things when I am navigating through Monster.com for a job.