Well in my first of maybe a few (maybe none) posts to give snowed in readers something to do. I want to have everyone tell their best Royce story. Royce is one of the funnist guys I know and I don't think anyone looks at the world the way he does. THere are some classics out there. I am still laughing about the M and M think you posted on here a few weeks ago Royce. And Yes ROyce, you can tell your best Royce story ever too if you want.
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7 comments:
Oh, goody! I'm the first to respond.
Thanks Keith, no one will enjoy this more than me. I just hope my "mind-wipe" works and no-one remembers anything too embarassing.
If there's a goodly amount of comments in this thread, I'll post a bonus story that I don't think anyone has ever heard, about the time I almost drowned.
Love,
Royce
It's not the best story, but it's one that I really like anyway. Years ago, a bunch of us went into Philly to see The Blair Witch Project. As we were walking from the car to the theater, I said to Ryan (rmember him?) "You know, I bet if we shouldn't Royce's name really loud right now, he'd hear us." We didn't test the theory, but as it happened, Royce was in the very same theater as we were. We ran into him on the way out.
That was awesome.
a). Royce and the box. For about a year, Royce would have the remote control for the TV in homeroom, which has picture in picture capability. Royce would pull up the picture and picture box and move it from the top right corner to the bottom right, bottom left,a nd then top left. Repeat. Fuckhead Bazzel had no idea what was going on.
b). Royce and Chaz. After Chaz (20 or so) was hitting on Lisa (14?), a freshman. Ray, Royce and I decide that it would be a good idea to tackle him. 1, 2, 3. We all start to run at Chaz, but Ray and I are smart enough to stop where as Royce just floors him. Chaz promptly starts to squish Royce head.
c). Royce and the AK Trip. Out of nowhere, an hour before the departure on the AK Trip, Royce gets in contact iwth us.
Years ago Ryan and I were hanging out with Royce in South Jersey. We decided to go out to Philly to check out his place. I don't recall really why but neither Ryan nor I were allowed to go into the city (we were fairly young) so we pretty much lied about where we were going to our parents.
So, we also picked up Chris Arter, and for some reason Royces some girl who was dating Royces brother (not the one he married). She thought Chris was really hot.
She told him "Damn You look good as shit!"
Chris was just stunned I think and was just staring blankly. She was like at least 3 years his senior too.
So we go to philly and it was really fun. We head home and some how get hopelessly lost. Now I don't know if this even posible, but I swear to you we ended up back in south jersey without ever crossing a bridge. So we were all freaked out by that.
We drop the girl off at her home where her mother and step-father lived. At this point the girl had been roughly two hours more late on her curfew. She was freaking out crying and just a total mess. So, Royce tried to talk to her step-father and explain to him it wasnt her fault. Apperently he was huge jerk and her life was like one of those TV movies on Lifetime because she really feared this guy.
Keep in mind this was before cell phones so neither my parents or Ryans knew where the hell we were. Ryan and I both realized we would have to make something up how we got lost and we were so late.
So Royce, got out of the car and tried to jump on the bomb for his friends. I recall him at the bottom of the steps in my house trying to explain to her that it was his fault not his son who lied to her(which I almost never did) that night. Of course she was just happy I wasnt in the bottom of a ditch some place. I doubt want Royce said made any sense since we were trying to leave out the fact that we were in Philly.
We never heard or so from that girl again. I dont recall how much trouble Chris got in for being out even later than us.
Good stories so far. I know Lima Beanz and Brant should have some stories.
Here is my first Royce story, though I'm sure it doesn't measure up to the rest.
Freshman year, I only knew Royce from band, but then a few months into the school year, his schedule changed and we had all sorts of classes together. One of them was Mrs. Mumie's class.
One day, Royce walked in a good 2 minutes or so after class had started. Most of you had to have experienced Mrs. Mumie, so I won't even go into all that, but needless to say, she was pissed.
She got in his face and shouted, "Do you want to pass?" For which he mistook, "Do you want a pass?"
He simply replied, "No."
She was momentarily dumbfounded, but came back at him again with it, even more upset. "Do you want to pass?"
And then Royce again, so calmly, "No."
I don't remember how long it went on for, but eventually Royce realized what she was actually asking him, and he tried to explain it in a jocular way. She wasn't having it. I think we all got a lecture about not eating enough fish and being out on our bikes all hours of the night.
Kate
I wasn't there for this one but everytime I hear it I get a chuckle. One thime a bunch of people were at Borders, I believe Drew, Jamie, Brant and Royce. As they were getting ready to leave they were wondering where Royce was. Well it turns out that Royce was playing hide and seek. The problem was tht he never bothered to tell anyone that he was playing. So evey couple of minutes you would see Royce's head pop out over a bookshelf and then disappear only to pop up on the opposite side of the store a few moments later. I think he eventually got tired of it and they left.
The great thing about Royce is just the complete randomness of him, you never know when he is going to show up or what he is doing at the time, or what stories he is going to tell, you just know that it is going to be weird and interesting and definitely memorable.
Oh yeah, I love the Not Picking Up Royce game as well.
J
The Game: Risk. The situation: Royces army vs. my army. I have been destroyed. I made a feeble play for Asia and lost. My last position was Japan. Royce, who massively overpowered my army, made the mistake of attacking Japan. He ended up winning the battle, but not before my few remaining men, defeated the majority of his attacking force. After he killed my last man, he ate him. Literally, ate him.
Brant
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