"Lets Go to the Mall!"

Going to the Voorhees Town Center this weekend? You might bump into the future Flyers there! I am shocked they didn't say in this article. I am surprised they didn't say something along the lines of, "Man the Malls sure do suck around here!"

"Ma Ma Mia!"

So, for some reason without warning, my car will randomly smell like a pizza. I don't know why, and you might say I must be smelling the cooking of a pizza place or an Italian restaurant some place. But it has happened in 4 different places in South Jersey. Only, once was I near a pizza place, and the odds that that place was cooking up something with the exact same smell it was pretty slim. It was likely years since I had a pizza in that car, and I certainly didn't leave any food in there any time recently. I can't explain it, it comes and goes but every couple of weeks for no reason at all, my car smells like an Italian restaurant. Sure, there is no logical reason, but boy does is smell Delicious.

"You Owned a Phillies Hat!"

So, last season Duke told me hated baseball when the Phillies started to suck. Even though they turned it around he told me he still hated them.

Not one week ago, Duke told me he is starting to like baseball again and is fired up for the Phillies. As I type this the Phillies are simply down by one run in the 11th inning. Granted they blew it and had a 2-0 lead most of the game. I understand, but this is what Duke IMED me

"i guarantee the phils will be one of the 5 worst teams in baseball this yearkeiraorbust: i get true satisfaction out of seeing every philadelphia team lose. It makes me happy"

Not only does Duke's love of things turn on a dime to hate mode, he bails on the philly teams the first sign of trouble. Unreal even if the Phils go 0-2 its not the end of the world, and I think even the normal band wagon jumpers will scratch their head as he leaps off the wagon. Asking, "What was the deal with that dude?"

You see there are two types of fans. Robot fans, like Duke that watch it for the love of the game. They just crunch numbers and watch the sports and take an interest in it. He waches it distant for any emotion.

Well hell, what I don't I just post our IM conversation.

picking up after the first quote...
Keith...er Tucker: seriously.. you have to stick by your teams.. first bump in the road.... duke is out i hope your future kid never brings home a bad grade

Duke: not my team...just because i live in an area doesn't mean that the teams are mine i have no interest in philadelphia teams the only one i ever followed was the flyers

keith: you have a phillies hat

Duke: and i refuse to support losing teams and it's an eagles hat and only because i needed it down the shore.

and it was the only one they were selling (note to readers I was with him, thats true, be he had to get it cause he didnt bring his phillies hat)


keith: you OWNED a philies hat once in your life you wore it all the time.

please.....

Duke: come on

Keith: the phillies were your team

Duke
you take sports way too seriously

DUke:: i'll support winner there is absolutely no point in supporting a loser...i'm not a fanatic

keith: the game isnt over! (it wasnt, but they did lose)
and you OWNED A phillies

Duke: i probably did...and i got it as a gift... losing franchise in sports history

the game isnt even over yet (yeah still wasnt)

keith: you are afraid, cause you have been hurt too many times

Duke: Thats funny

Keith: like a battered bitch

Duke: if you think i ever cared about sports, you're nutskeiraorbust: the only team i support 100% is manchester united

Duke: and they lost today

keith: oh, you better burn your shirt:

Duke: ...and it didn't bother me in the least

keith: oh god, they are the worst team in soccer

Because they're going to win at least 2 trophies this year
something philadelphians will never know

keith: somewhere Neil Little just shed a tear

Duke: i love watching people fail...no matter what it is in... i get more enjoyment out of it than watching people succeedkeiraorbust: probably a little sick, but that's the way it is

keith: did you root for the Russian in Rocky IV?

(no reponse to that one)
keith: you find joy in watching a bunch of people kick a ball around on grass and very little happening for 3 hours?

Duke: skilled athletes passing a ball around is exciting to mekeiraorbust: i could watch it all day every day and i could watch philly teams lose all day every day....

Keith you are the only one that can do that without your blood alchol level at a dangerous level

DUke you'd think someone had stolen their child the way they (philly team fans)react when their teams lose.

Keith: the flyers are one of the strongest bonds i have with my father who passed it on(note to readers: I doubt he thought they still would not have won a cup in my life time) to mei i have cared about the flyers since I was like 4 can you think of anything you care about at age 4 and still cared about?

"The Fighting Phils"

Today the Phillies will start the season of high hopes. They don't usually play very well the opening game though. Hopefully a big win will be had, and the team will live up to the expectations set by the sports world.

"Home is Where the 24-Hour Diner Is"

So for about 3 weeks, it looked as if Rick was going to have to move to DC area for his work. Many a night he weighed his opitons without his work giving him any idea how much the position would pay. Of course he could not make up his mind if the paid him peanuts for the move and the job down there. So, the last 3 weeks we figured we would live it up Price usually would join us and we cranked up the drinking a notch. In order to make the most of what was likely to be his final days as a South Jerseyan. Turns out, eh, they likely are going to close the branch they wanted to move him to, and it all fell through. So, all that living in the moment stuff turns out to have just been a bunch of heavy drinking. Sorry liver.

"Bitter Sweet"

It was really warm today. Awesome weather. Okay, I couldn't really take advantage of it since I was in the office all day. Kind of stinks. But, that is not why this is bitter sweet. This really warm day oddly enough reminds me of playoff hockey. This year will be the 2nd time in 3 years the I don't get to see the Flyers in the postseason. One year was a lock out and last year they were out in the first round. It really sucks, I will still watch the playoffs, but I won't live or die by any team. I have to wait till next fall to see if the FLyers can fix this awful mess there are in.

"Bunch of Jerks"

If you recall a few years ago Comcast swapped their sports network from channel 34 to channel 69. Channel 69 came in really fuzzy and was almost unwatchable for anyone that did not have digital cable. Now keep in mind this was a few years ago and not nearly as many people had digital cable as they do now. The timing of this was on purpose, and to make people upgrade to their digital package. They switched channels right before the Flyers and Sixers started. Many bars, even complained that people were bitching about the poor picture.

Comcast is still up to its old tricks. Anyone wanting to watch the final 9 Sopranos which kick off this Easter is SOL. Amazingly comcast will no longer make HBO available to anyone who doesn't have a digital cable box. Amazing, right that it happens right before one of the most popular tv series HBO ever had airs its final shows isn't it?

Now, I am sure there are many people out there that don't have the digital package just yet, more than you would think. Maybe someone could google the stats on it or something, but there will be a lot of people that are fans of the show that will either not get to see it or have their hand forced to upgrade. No doubt COmcast has done this simply, because they are an evil company.

Bunch of Jerks.

"You Smoke Tree?"

So, as I was saying before Price, Rick and I went to a beerfest, and afterwards we post gamed at a bar. While Rick was talking about different kinds off beers to this girl, I got bored and wondered off.

I ended up outside for some fresh air and ended up talking to this girl that was up at the bar. Things went really well with good conversation, and all. Oddly, enough I don't think Price or Rick even noticed that I was gone. Actually, they had no idea what I was talking about when I posted this apperently.

At any rate she was there with her friend and her boyfriend and we all sat and hung out for awhile. Turns out she was only 21, which well I shouldn't make much of a big deal about, but year kinda of on different life stages. But, really I never look for anything serious right out of the gate anyway, so what difference did it make?

She was a waitress someplace (hey you try to recall that info when you have been drinking all day) and actually had the same exact name as a girl I went to highschool with. She clearly wasn't here though. At the end of the night I did get her number. That Tuesday I called her.

Now when I called her I got her voicemail. Which is always akward for a first call, but at least I know she didn't give me a bogus number at this point (one of my females friends used to do that all the time).

Anyway, around 11:15 or so she called me back. Right off the bat I noticed something was wrong. She seemed totally out of it.

I asked if she was working earlier when I called. She replied that she was out "picking up tree" for her friends. Than she asked me in her slurred speech if "I smoked Tree"

Okay, I should state here that the last time up till this point in my life that someone asked "If I smoked Tree" I was muggged by a bunch of hoodlums in broad daylight in Atlantic City.

I told her she sounded tired. She told me she wasn't tired, but her sister brought her home pills to take. She said the name, but I am not sure what they were, but I know know they make you speak like the late Anna Nicole Smith (I can not belive that is the 2nd time I mentioned her on this blog).

I guess there was a bit of indication we are on different life cycles because she told me when she works she doesn't get off "that late" which was 11:30. Now 11:30 for me during the week is usually the time that I am climbing into bed an wrapping myself up in my Gore in '08 blankets.

Anyway, she went on to say some other stuff that made little sense, and something about watching BOrat. So, I told me friend Rob about it (not the arter of the year) who told me I should call her and hang out with her even though we both agreed she was a trainwreck. So, I called her later in the week for the only reason to get more stories. But again she wasn't making much sense.

"The Festival of Beer in the City of Atlantic"

This past Saturday Price, Rick and myself went to the 2nd Annual Beer Festival in Atlantic City. The concept is simple you pay 30 bucks (25 if you are smart enough to buy your tickets online unlike us) and there is a bunch of beer distributors there. They give you a cup when you first go in and you just go from one beer station to the next and fill her up. They have all kinds of beers from overseas and some trying out new blends, or small breweries trying to make a name for themselves. In addition to the beer, there is food, Irish music, and gift shops.

We took the train down since it was right in the convention center and the train ends right there. To be honest it was a pretty sweet deal roughly 6 bucks for a round trip. We got there a little early and walked around. It is pretty cool now because when you get off the train you are in the middle of a down town where there are a ton of shops.

The line to get the ticket was long, and the line to get in the door was even longer. Price some how got split up from me and Rick. At this point I was starting to doubt that this thing was going to be worth it. But, when I got in there I was like a kid in a candy store, so much to take in. I just ran off and left Rick randomly getting beer from different stations.

A common theme would be that we split up and try to call each other on the cell phones. At one point Price and I wondered past a massage station. The random Asian women not only offered me a massage but started giving me one. Than suddenly she caught me off guard.

"12 dollar!, 12 dollar!"
"Um, I was really wasn't looking to..."
"12 dollar!, 12 dollar!"
"No, really that's okay.."

Than she shoved me onto the table and started rubbing me up. This was the first professional massage I have ever had in my life. I was pretty good you know its start to finish. Price ended up getting roped in (mainly my fault) to one too. He had a dude touching him, but he swears he didn't touch his butt, like the lady did to me. After she pretty much forced me to get her service, I wondered if my wallet would be missing after the butt rub. Luckily it wasn't.

This was a first also, when the women actually asked me for a tip. I never had anyone ask me for a tip before in my life. I looked in my wallet trying to figure out what the tip on 12 should be, when I realized only had one single and all 20s, out of fear I would not get any money back I gave her a dollar. She started getting loud.

"One dollar?!?!? One Dollar??!?"

I slowly backed away and waited for Price.

We tried it all Beer that tasted like toilet water, beer that tasted like coffee, bear with the word monkey in its name, beer that tasted like cheap whine, beer, beer and more beer. Of course like wing bowl some of the laws and rules became blurred with people smoking in the bathroom like it was no big deal. At one point the overweight middle aged rent a cop chased people out. But 5mins later the cloud of smoke returned. I forgot what it was like to have to wave myself through a cloud of smoke to get to the pisser.

Now there were alot more dudes than girls at this place. I did however bump into an ex-girlfriend(not liza) It was nice to see her I guess. I guess it was like 7 years or so. Hard to get my head around it that it was that long ago. There was some lame MAXIM magazine ripoff there. My god, they must have few readers. The girls they got in binkinis were all fat (litterally fat) and had veiny legs and bad skin. It was as if someone played a cruel joke on us all. I was waiting for some radio DJ to come out and punk us all or something.

We wanted to live a little early and beat the rush. It worked out great cause the train left early anyway. While for tickets (we were to dim to buy round trip tickets) in line there was a random drunk fat British guy.

"You, like Ben Stiller! Ben Stiller is a cunt!" --British Guy

"Um..." Me

"Doesn''t he always play a cunt! You look like him you must be a cunt!"
"I don't really um..."

He kept calling me a cunt about 10 more times.

Than he turned to a guy behind him in line and told him he F****d his mother in Liverpool. Than he banged his dad later. The guy behind him had no idea who he was.

I was so much funnier since he had a British accent, he reminded me of the sidekick in Shaun of the Dead.

The train ride home rivaled that of the "Fools on a Train" story. First off there was a drunk guy that almost fell over in Rick's lap before vomiting all over himself and retreating to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet with the door open. The odd thing is he seemed to be by himself, no one had any idea who he was or where he had to get off.

Meanwhile the front of the train had some older people. For some reason (price seemed to know why) they kept shouting JIMMY!!!!!!

AT this point we were mingling with a few different groups and we all were puzzled by this but got a real kick out of it. So, we all started yelling back.

"JIMMY!!!!!!!"

Than they would yell back.

"Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!"

No idea who Jimmy was, or why we were so amused doing this. But, it went on for about another 30mins. As each group of dudes (mainly) got off the train they would pound on my window and yell.

"Jimmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Anyway the drunk dude eventually got off. Although I am fairly sure he crapped his pants before doing so. SOMEONE on the train certainly did. It was just an awful foul stench.

We got back to our neck of the woods at 11:30 ish which was perfect because we decided to hit up Harpers. All and all it really lived up to my expectations and anyone that didn't go really missed out on a good time.

Harpers was fun Allen and a bunch of our other friends were up there. I even got some cute 21 year old Irish chick's number. But that my friends is another entry all together. Tune in next time SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL!

"Going the Distance...Going for Speeeeeeed!"

So, it spring again and people are talking about being in shape and living healthy and all that crap. Lots of my co-workers join a gym called riverwinds near my work, because of the town I work in we get discounted memberships. It is supposed to be awesome they have a pool with a slide, lots of places to run, a steam a room and tons of weights to work out with. But, I realized since its in the other direction of my apartment, I would never go. SO, I would not join and not throw money down the toliet.

What could I do? Well my apartment is has a small gym, which has just what I need a bike, a treadmill, because I just want to run and feel like I am more active than I currently am. I know most people like to lift weights and thats the cool thing to do, but the thing with weights is that they are really heavy. Running is also nice and cheap, and I get to be outdoors during most of the year if I commit to it.

Problem is with my gym is the only open in while the office is open. The office closes at 6pm sharp each night. I am lucky if I get home at 5:30, but its usually closer to 6pm. So, there goes that. Now they have been telling me since November that they are getting cameras in there and it will eventually be open late, but I am starting to think that they are just messing with me. Since, you know it is Spring time.

A few Saturdays ago, I was able to get into the Gym and actually did some running. I actually felt great the next day like I did something good for my body for once, instead of trying to drown my organs with beer. Now that we haven extra hour and thanks to global warming with 70 degree weather in March, it was perfect time to start running this SUnday! Well not really, because Saturday I went to a Beerfestival, but more on that later. To be honest a few summers ago, I did run 3 times a week for about two months or so more. I started to see results finally.

I went to run at a the tire park (although there are no tires there anymore making people who didn't live here before 1999 look at me like I am Space Alien when I refer to it as that) and thought to myself. 3 times around the park Keith...er Tucker. Okay, I ran like 50 % of the time and walk the other 50%. Yeah, just starting out right?

Yesterday, I took the day off. Tonight, though I truely had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I was invited by the guys at work to go to a happy hour, followed by Rick who was going to the Tank for dinner and a few brews, than by Price who was going to the Stone Grill with a friend I hadnt seen in years, than by Ed who was hitting up Harpers with "HeadCase". I turned all four chances down in order to run.

Oh, yeah I was going to do this!

I started running, and thought to myself a few things.

1. What the hell am I going to do with my car keys? I can't leave them in my car right? In my pants they just weigh me down and annoy me. If I clinch them in my hand, I look less like I am jogging and more like I am fleeing a crime scene.

2. Why are my pants I bought for running years ago big on me now? After years of not running? Maybe bending elbows is a much better way to stay in shape.

3. Damn that cute Italian Girl in front of me has a nice butt.

4. I wonder what drink special is at Harpers tonight!

5. God I am out of shape

6. Of course I kept playing rocky music in my head and a few choice quotes.

So yeah, again I had to stop a few times because of being totally out of breath and wishing I was basically dead. All the while the cutie italian girl was zipping around the park again and again. At this point I started to question the whole "get in shape thing" is this really time better spend than sitting at happy hour? or on my couch watching tv?

I had to dig deep to get around 3 times(I don't even want to know what short distance that actually is), and the third try was more walking and looking around than actually running. But, me blowing off happy hour was a step in the right direction right?

Than again I would have to do this 3 times a week to see any kinds of results and that really takes dedication. Would it be better to just wait till after the 1st heart attack? I mean if anything I am skinny for my height, I am certainly not heavy.

Damn my legs hurt.

Okay readers! How long does everyone give me before I throw in the towel?

"Top Dog is Dead"

As of April 15th Top Dog will be no longer. The nightclub/sports bar will now go after a different crowd according the Courier-Post. The owner will make it another cookie cutter family grill and dinning place. The upstairs club will now be only for banquets.

"To, stay in this business you have to change with the time" said the bar owner.

I didn't realize that going out trying to meet people and getting drunk was out of style. But, I guess I am not in the biz. The place will have a more girly name and be known as "Taylor's Grill". Apperently, there is one in Willamstown already. I recall the owner wanting to open up ap place. I guess I just never noticed it opened since I am not in the target customer age range.

I did enjoy the bands there, and I am sure a lot of people will miss that. But, I honestly only have gone there like 3 times a year the last two years if that. But, still its sad since I went there for my 21st birthday that it will be converted into a lame dime a dozen family place.

HAlf shirts will be replaced by blue hair and early bird specials.

I have to be honest though the few times I ate there I didn't really care for the food, so I hope that if this guy wants to have banquets that he fires all the chefs and hires new ones. Last time I was there was when I had business in the area. The happy hour buffet was pretty decent. Well it was free so.

They say the dinners will cost $10-20 and the banquets can fit over 200 people. Which is I guess where they will make their money. I don't know who would want to have a banquet at Top Dog though. I wonder how much the smoking ban killed this place money wise. Bars and clubs in NJ dropped like flies when it was passed.


Maybe Sharkey's will become the elite bar of south jersey.

Times are changing.

"28 Frozen Days Later"

Tired of the cold you are not alone?Pretty cold stuff. Toronto had the coldest month in almost 20 years. Here are some other cold hard facts. So, Chill out and sit back and read.

The average temperature in February 2007 was 32.9 F. This was -1.8 F cooler than the 1901-2000 (20th century) average, the 34th coolest February in 113 years. The temperature trend for the period of record (1895 to present) is 0.3 degrees Fahrenheit per decade. 1.56 inches of precipitation fell in February. This was -0.46 inches less than the 1901-2000 average, the 16th driest such month on record. The precipitation trend for the period of record (1895 to present) is 0.00 inches per decade.

I bet its Bush and Haliburton doing this to drive up oil prices. I just can't prove it yet.

"Tucker's World Jinx"

Well if you recall my "No March of the Penguins" post you have would think the penguins were going to stay. Not so, almost hours after I posted that it became well unofficial that they were staying and now things are leaning towards moving again, maybe Kansas City again. Stupid, jinx.

"The Thin Yellow Line"

Today's broadcast of the Flyers/ Penguins game on NBC was a joke. They never had a penalty clock up the entire game. So, when players were in the sin bin, I never knew how long they still had to go. I could never tell how much longer a two man advantage was going to be either. All they did was put a yellow bar up under the name of the team that had the power play. Sometimes, that didn't even get that right by putting it under the wrong team. I know the Igloo is an old building and is why the game was not in HD today, but the fact that they couldn't put a clock up for penalties was a pathetic. As far as I know, they never bothered to even tell the viewers why their broadcast lacked a feature that was created in the early 90's. It was a total disgrace, and I imagine the papers might mention it tomorrow since lots of people are bitching, but there was simply no excuse. One of the worst things I have ever seen in all my years of watching hockey from a broadcast standpoint.

"My Scrubs Post"

So, Scrubs seems to be at a cross roads. Zack Braff is not sure if he wants to come back for season 7, and its at the point that the creators say they will not do a 7th season withouth him. NBC has told Scrubs to not film a final epsiode. Which makes me worried, because NBC at the saem time has not said they will be back for a season 7. Their are rumors that ABC might pick up Scrubs next year, the reason is that ABC is owned by Disney, who also owns touchtone which makes Scrubs. This is why Scrubs is not shown in HD, because touchtone doens't want to spend the money on it. Season 6, has not been that bad, but it is really starting to show signs of rot. Yeah the musical episode was a hoot, and the Iraq epsiode was pretty intresting, but story arch wise they are starting to tread water, and the one they are doing this season will have to end soon. Tonight, however what they did there was no excuse for. They did a clip show, which is basically highlights of the entire series, funny, romantic and sad linked by about 5 mins of new footage. In the era of tv shows on DVDs, there should be some kind of law against shows like this. I laughed when JD pretty much told the viewers tonights epsiode was going to be lame (The Simpsons do the same inside joke each clip show). Someone is supposed to die this season on SCrubs, but I am starting to think the show did tonight. I hope it bounces back next week, and as sad it is to say, I think its time to retire the show. I would hate for it to be on occassionally like King of Queens was this year, or have the show burned off in the summer with new shows like Drew Carey was a few years ago. NBC has a history jerking Scrubs around, so maybe the creators and cast should just play it safe and give fans a good send off this May. The season isnt awful, but I don't think they have enough jokes or ideas to fill a 7th season. Might be time to pull the plug.

"Life Sabre"

During the crazy day that is the NHL trade dead line that saw Ryan Smyth become and Ilsander, it was the worst team in the NHL that surprised a lot of people.





The Flyers dealt a 2nd round draft pick for Martin Biron who was the Sabres #1 goalie for quite sometime. He lost his job last season to Ryan Miller. Not, so much that Biron is bad, but Miller is awesome.





This is a fairly big gamble for the Philadelphia Flyers simply because Biron can walk as of July 1st. However, the front office for the orange and black seems to be confident he will be happy to come back and build something here next season.





They are counting on him being happy being the #1 goalie again, and hope he likes the area enough to want to unpack his bags and stay for awhile. I can imagine they will be pitching stuff to him the minute he meets up with the team.





Basically, I guess its bold move, since the wanted to sign him anyway and gave up nothing but money for him come July. But, again I think they are rolling the dice in order to keep him here. I would not at all be surprised if they sign him in the next few weeks to a longer term deal.





We picked up tons of young talent, now its time to get some proven players. I like Biron, and honestly from what I understand he is likely the best goalie that would be out there come July, and I am confident he will stay a Flyer.





The Flyers need to make a run for one or two quick veteran forwards. Many of these young guys aren't really ready to carry the load and would be better off as Phantoms.

"Deadline"

Kyle Calder, Alexi Zhitnik, Nolan Baumgartner and Peter Forsberg might not be the only ones leaving Philly. The trade deadline is this Tuesday afternoon. Others expected to be delt include Geoff Sanderson, Robert Esche and maybe Hatcher.

The Flyers are just getting a bunch of unproven youngerster and draft picks for their talent. Calder might have been one of the worst trades in the history of the Flyers, maybe in the NHL. He was awful.

Most the players that the Flyers have gotten in trades will not have any impact really for 2 or 3 years if at all. The thing with the "prospects" trades in hockey is that they pan out maybe 40 perecent of the time. The draft picks are good to have, but the Flyers really need to start drafting better.

All, eyes will be on the firesale in Philly tomorrow. I can only hope they plan on getting some quality free agents next summer. God, knows they will have plenty of cap room.

"You're Playing Beer Bong!"

So, last night (assuming your reading this Friday) on the way home from work Rick and myself stopped off Sharkeys for some grub and a few drinks. Turns out they are actually going to do beer bong every Thursday night now. Thats awesome. It kicks off at 8pm, and this was the first week. They just decided to do it, so I think no one really knew about it. I didn't till I walked in that night. We didn't stick around for it, but I think I might check it out when The Office and SCrubs go into reruns which should be soon. Anyone else interested in meeting up for a game on random Thursday at the tank?

"Beers and Queers"

So, after the events of "Better Late Than Never" I got my 2nd wind and join Price among others for a night at Sharkeys for a belated birthday bash for him.

While I was there I was invited by Price to a charity event at a bar in Philly. The event was to be held at a bar called "sisters" which was a lesbian bar, and they were raising money having an auction for strippers. Now, it wasn't explained to me what you got to do with the strippers, but it seemed like a whacky time. Price also promised me that straight girls went there.

Price's friend Stephanie was running the event, and the money was to go to a softball team (the lesbians not the strippers) she was also nice enough to hook us up with a ride with her friend. Now apparently her friend also went to highschool with us, which resulted in an awkward situation when introduced myself to her the night at sharkeys a week prior. Anyway, it worked out great since Price and I had no idea where this place was (I still don't) and Price was happy since I picked him up and he could get hammered and concentrate on bidding on strippers. I on the other hand just thought it was a funny way to spend my night, and figured it would make for a good blog.

The night started off oddly enough. The girl who I don't recall (who will call her "the stranger" from this point on) price, myself and some random dude were off to philly! But, first we made a stop at a random hotel on the black horse pike. I have no idea why were there. It was never explained. The stranger and the dude left Price and me sitting in the running car for about ten minutes. The left with some sort of care package.

I figured at this point there was a good chance we were going to get shot in the back of the head or something. But after about 10 mins they came back with the package and we went across the black horse pike to a really seedy hotel. This time they assured us it was the right one. Than some dude came out and got whatever he wanted. He apparently had a room at both places.

Anyway, off to Sisters we went. However, since the girls the brought us there were running the event, we were there early. Before the event, so Price, the dude and myself sat there awkwardly surrounded by a culture we clearly were not a part of.

Okay, now I was told it was a lesbian bar, and what I hoped for was girls in cotton short shorts and tank tops trying to tickle each other drinking Apple Martinis. That never happened. In fact there were tons of gay dudes there too. I guess if you are a lesbian you really would love this place, there were butch chicks, hot chicks, soccer moms, freaky chicks, fat chicks and well most of them could likely kick the crap out of me. But, before the event yup..we were pretty much just hanging out at a gay bar.

After a few drinks we began to not look like deer in the headlights sitting at a table with flowers on it. We talked to some people. One girl there (lesbian) told us that the straight girls supposedly carry their purses around there. So, people could tell who was gay and who was straight. I have no idea if that is true or not. But Price, the dude and I learned the girl sitting next to us was apparently straight. She was maybe a 5 or 6 on the scale of 1-10. But given she was straight that night she was like a 9. The girl worked in philly, and said she went there after work often so she wasn't hit on like at normal bars. After hearing that, I figured that was a bad sign for any of us. Than she started talking about her boyfriend whom she loved. At that point I lost interest and the dude seemed like he wanted to still get her number or something. So, I left for a bit. Than when I returned she was gone, and he told me she left for a bar where you place pac-man. I was like damnit, that bar sounds awesome. Just people playing pac-man.

Finally the event started, and like the fact it wasn't just a lesbian bar, the night 2nd promise was already broken. The girls that were bidded on were mostly butch, busted and I would rather pay them to keep their clothes on than have them remove them. At one point Price learned which of the 12 girls up for bid were straight. It was only 3 of them. Now I am not sure if Price was kidding, or just drunk but he actually bidded on the first straight girl. I guess all the gay women knew she was straight too, because no one but Price bid on her. In fact I am pretty sure Price bid himself higher for about 20 bucks for no reason at all.

What did Prices 40 bucks (I think that was the bid) get him? A pair of panties and about 5 minutes of conversation. Since the event was over, the stranger and the dude who were our ride were ready to go. At this point, I figured to myself it was funny enough, it was almost midnight, I could still get a couple drinks in at Sharkeys. But Price came down to the steps (the even and club were upstairs) and told me there were tons of straight girls there and I should stay and have fun! He swayed me (that and the 4 or 5 beers at that point) to close the place out. Upstairs we went. Stephaine would take us home.

I scanned the floor. ..chicks dancing with chicks, and dudes dancing with dudes.

"Eh, I guess they left..." Price.

So, there we were. Price introduced me some random lesbian girl he met up there. See Price had come up with this great theory that we befriend the gay friends and win them over, and they would hook us up with their straight friends because they would like us a lot. I told Price that it sure seemed like a lot of work. He never really sold me on the idea. But, hey I was stuck there so I might as well mingled. The bar was just like any other really bad club music and we had a horrible time hearing anything.

At one point Price vanished (no idea where he went) and I was still upstairs talking about the lesbian. It turns out that its all the same really. She talked about dating getting harder as you hit your late 20s and about her really long relationship she once had what didn't work. I exchanged similar stories. It was nice and all but I figured I should try to find my friend. I found him down stairs talking to some random people. Than he went upstairs again.

I figured I would order one last beer and just chill the bar and wait for the others to be ready to leave. Now, I could be crazy at this point in the story. But the bottom part of the bar was pretty empty. I just sat there writing on a pad of paper which I guess is designed to give out your numbers at such places. I was just scribbling mostly. I am pretty sure the dude at the end of the bar was checking me out. Now, I am not a homophobe or anything, but I wanted to keep my record of not having to tell a dude I wasn't gay in tact. It was close to last call. Usually I see at straight bars guys trying to hustle a girl at the last minute to get number, laid or pretty much anything. I might have been the almost 2am bottom of the barrel for this guy. I didn't stick around I darted back upstairs.

The dancing was winding down, and most people had coupled off at this point. But in the end, its all the same. Some people were looking for their soul mate, some for a quick lay, some people are looking to cheat on a loved one and some poor souls were standing in the shadows outside the dance floor. Likely wondering when their same sex partner of their dreams would sweep them off their feet. Than there was myself clearly the only heterosexual left in the bar for a good two hours aside from price, pounding my last $4.75 miller lite. I thought to myself two things.

1. This was amusing, but never again
2. This is going on Tucker's World.

"High Hopes"

Spring has sprung in South Jersey and so has hope for the sports world. The ice has melted t he mercury is rising and as is the hopes for the Phillies this season. While the Flyers and sixers are so bad they can't draw even half a stadium anymore, people went nuts earlier this week to buy Phillies tickets. They don't even start till April!

Jimmy Rollins has declared that the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies are the team to beat. There is a huge buzz going on right now around the team. Why not with all the starters they will have on the mound, and Ryan Howard, Chase Utley back and likely better this season.

I am not saying that the William Penn curse will end this year, but I don't know if it has been this up in the air in a long time. The players are all young still and in their prime, and not yet bored with the game.

The season at the very least will likely be one we are talking about for many years from now.