“24 Years and What Do You Get ?”

Well today I turn one year shy of a quarter of century old. Although 24 is not old by any sense of the imagination I certainly couldn’t wrap my mind around this age as child. It is certainly by many that year that is a watermark for the first year of being an actual adult. In today’s society 21-23 is still giving you a pass as being “college age” especially since people take far more than 4 years now to complete and education. So what is an adult anyway? Depends on the person I guess.

24 usually is the point where nights out looking for a good time are more a novelty than central point of your week and you have to start lining up all your ducks in a row to become more “stable” and “responsible”. Birthdays when you were young were a celebration that of reaching another milestone. You wanted to have a fun party so the kids at school would like you, you wanted to get a bike so you could ride around town, and as you got older you looked forward to freedoms like a driver’s license or being able to legally drink. However I think now that I can be considered by most people in my “mid” 20’s it’s a day of more reflection than anything. Trying to look back at what I have done with my life so far, also trying to measure myself up with expectations of myself and where I wanted to be at this point in the journey in life. Not that I didn’t have an awesome time on Saturday with Liza at the casinos (despite not becoming a millionaire).

The more you think of it though the more you realize something. That life isn’t done in scenes similar to a play or film. One part of your life ending certainly doesn’t necessarily open the next stage door. It is also true what they say that the years go by quicker as you get older. It makes me sound old to even agree with the adage. However I was talking to Dan K (on AIM Dan and I rarely have face to face conversations but a handful of times a year he hates daylight) and we couldn’t quite figure out how I got to 24. He seemed taken back when I told him I was 24 even though he will hit that mark in a few months too. We talked about schoolyard incidents that at times seem like they happened a few months ago.

My life has certainly changed in the past year. Being out of school is certainly a dose of reality and I am learning a lot of hard lessons about making your way in life. I don’t really expect to draw any sympathy by writing this article by any means. In the past year though I have learned how hard it is to cut your niche in the world. I saw many of my friends go through the same thing after college, and thought for some reason I could avoid this fate.


In some aspects its who you know to get you in with a good company. Part of me blames myself for not having a distinct “dream” like our society seemingly dedicates who should have. Sometimes I figure it to mean I am a bad person or am full of short comings. Than again who isn’t? I also think more “prestigious” colleges just mean you went to school for rich people supported by rich people so when you get out you get a job based only on the rich people that your rich family knows in good companies. That’s a bit overly simplified I am sure, but it seems to be a way lots of people get their break in a job. I certainly don’t want to come across as someone who has nothing but excuses for my situation.

Part of me gets sick at the prospect of spending my life working in a cubical. At the same time my current job seems to such more of the life out of me everyday single day. I know I deserve better than Sears. Sears makes me feel like I am in a deep pool with a brick tied to my foot. I am almost out of patience. People who have landed their ideal jobs ( I know very few of them) try to offer me all kinds of advice some of it is applicable and some of it seems too simplified at times even condescending. Of course I know that wasn’t the intention.

Looking back at the 23 year of my life will likely be thought of a year of transition. A year where things and other people went in different paths. I guess that makes me the center of everyone’s universe. Heck two of my friends have started a family together. Meanwhile Duke’s apartment thanks to his new gf is no longer a health hazard. Another close friend of mine ended a long lasting serious relationship, Steve started teaching, Price went to war and Dan decided to tie the knot.

To be honest I would still consider Ryan to be my closest friend. That might seem odd, and unfortunately relations with his girlfriend and me and friends of mine boiled over into quite an ugly situation this past summer. Most parties at this point agree that it just water under the bridge anymore though. Although Ryan is extremely busy with music obligations these days he seems to be with drawn a lot from everyone this past year. Do I expect to hear from him on my b-day or him to even read this? Not really. His withdrawal is some what particular and one has to wonder what really goes on in his head these days. I guess this stuff is goes hand in hand with an increased amount of b-days.

If you asked me on my 23 b-day if I would have met the right girl for me I doubt I would have said I would been lucky enough to find her. Well it was last November that I met Liza, and I certainly thought she was out of me league the first time I laid eyes on her. I always knew if a girl would have given me a chance I could prove that I was capable of managing a serious relationship. I met her at a time where she gives me seemingly endless source of strength to keep me from putting myself down too much and helps me through the frustrations of my current job situation. I am my own worst critic and she lets me know when I am simply being unreasonable about it. She has made me certainly a stronger person and had a positive impact on my life. I have better self esteem than I did a year ago. I no longer have to look at the bottom of a beer mug when I am soul searching not that I was ever a raging drunk or anything. It wasn’t like I got smashed every time I had a bad day she somehow (maybe without trying) made me realize how unimportant in order to be happy. The feeling of knowing that I can talk to her about anything in my life far exceeds being drunk in the back of someone’s car after a night out. It isn’t like she even cares if I get drunk as skunk, but I never thought I would be so content and happy with someone that I would not notice or care that I rarely get smashed anymore. I just have less of a need to get drunk. This being my first long term relationship I learned a lot about realationships.


I look around the world and read the papers. I certainly have it a lot better than a good part of the world’s population and I certainly have a lot of time to figure things out in my life. I am fortunate to have good friends and a good family and a great girl. So what this day will pass without tons of fanfare like when I was a kid. What I learned about myself and life since my b-day could fill a book. I guess that’s the perk that comes with b-days after you reach all the cool milestones. I still have tons to learn and plan to get out on my own before my next b-day so I am sure this year wil seem like peanuts to that. Is it too late for anyone to get apartment shopping for dummies or cooking for dummies for a present?

"Heatley's Fate"


I found a really good article about Danny Heatly. I am going to cut and paste it..the URL might not work so just cut and paste if it doesnt.


http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news?slug=usatoday-jailwontbeheatleysworst&prov=usatoday&type=lgns

"The Legend of Heat Lightning"


Right after Hurricane Isabel went through a co-worker and I talked about different elements of storms. She told me that she heard on NBC 10 that Heat Lightning was actually a myth. Now I have always been told that in the summer time since there is so much enery in the air "heat ligtning" is produced and bolts jump from cloud to could, and no thunder is produced. I whitnessed this one time for hours at my aunts house in Avalon. My cousin and I sat out and watched it over the ocean and it was quite dazzlying over the ocean. Well since I am a huge dork I decided to e-mail Fox 29 (WTXF) weatherman Rob Guarino who recently got back to me and he had this to say:


"Heat lightning is an urban legend so to
speak. Heat lighting is just lightining in the
distance with no thunder. People think it's because of
the heat and yeah it is, it's summer afterall when they
hit.

You cannot hear thunder if a storm is more than 15
miles away and sometimes in urban areas as little as 3
miles away. I hope this answers your question."

-Rob

"Life Sucks Vote for Me!"

Well Arnold won the election. You would think that would tick off the liberal democrats. However I think this is very good for them. This election proved you can basically dodge the issues and just harp about how bad a job your opponent did. You just list obvious faults of the administration but offer nothing as far as solutions to the problems. Just remind people that things suck right now.

Maybe its just me, but I think all Arnold did was make puns about his movies, and told us Gray Davis sucked really bad and he made a mess of things. He got pretty cool sound bites out of this and imagine how much more effective the democrat’s sound bytes can be when its time to fight for the white house.


They will say stuff like about Bush’s missteps, but have no actual solutions. They will talk about the controversial war in Iraq. They will talk about the economy and blast the tax cut, but have no actual suggestions of their own. I just don’t think they really have any ideas (unless they plan to reveal them later but I doubt it) mainly because fixing the economy is a lot more difficult than people think. Do my liberal readers actually think Clinton in office would have kept the economy a float after the events of 9/11? Please. The market was changing just as Clinton was leaving office, and the terrorist attacks facilitated the process.

So my point is that is seems to me the general public will just rally behind whoever the democrats run for office just because he will shout about the jobless, and such. Bush a weak debater will have a lot harder time running from questions that his opponent will ask him. Like why did we go to Iraq? Where are the WMD? Think about it, when those debates come its going to be it for Bush. Bush stammered during this type of public address imagines such loaded acquisitions flying out him.


So basically this election shows that you don’t have to have good ideas or ways to fix problems just talk about what is wrong. Than after that you get 4 years in the White House to make it up as you go along

"JR & Hitch"

We all waited for it last year for JR and coach Hitchcock to have huge fight. Everyone sensed tension bettween the two since Hitch had reportedly sent Darren Hatcher to break JR's jaw in retaliation to a hit JR laid on Mike Modano. Last year came and went with out anything major happening between the two at least not in the open.

However there has been tensiion lately. Hitch slammed JR for being inconsistant in the preseason. He also said he needs to be a better leader. I guess it was a ploy to light a fire under him. Could have JR's been better last season? Sure. He did lead the team in points. However he certainly possesed good leadership skills. He sets a good example to the younger players on how to be fan friendly. I just dont get that. He is usually the last one off the ice and always talks to the media no matter how much they suck, and how much grilling they do to the players. What does he want?

Jr fired back that players that have been around as long as he has just aren't mentally there in the preseason. He clearly knows the difference. Hell he is the only one that gets excited it seems at times.

I usually side with the coach, but for Hitch to make a public comment no reason and with little to back up it seemed out of place. This came a week after JR grumbled Hitch dragging his feet trying to find a linemate, and refusing to let Recchi play on his line because of his plan to use the veterans less. If he plays well with Rex than what's the deal?

Its going to be a long season. Sadly the locker room stories might be more memorable than what happens on the ice.

"My B-day"


Don't forget readers my b-day is a week from today don't forget to buy me stuff.

"You Didn't Get the Memo?"

So long time Flyer d-man Chris Therein has been in Philly longer than any other current athelete. Think that would mean something right? Apperently not. Poor Chris was put on waivers this past Friday which means any team in the NHL can just call up the Flyers and claim him for nothing. Okay its cool they put him on waviers to make room for younger players, but they didn't bother calling him to tell him he was unprotected. He found out from the media.


Poor guy. He wasn't picked up by anyone which sucks, because now he is on a team that wants to use him as 7th D-man. I honestly would like to see him go the last few seasons have been pretty much a waste keeping him around. However wouldn't it be the right thing to do for Clarkie to call up Chris and inform him he might be moving to another city soon, instead of him hearing about it on 6 10 WIP? No class on the Flyers part. Guess Clarkie was either to busy throwing dars at a picture of 88, or kissing Ed Snider's ass.

I wish someone would have claimed him, and made a roster spot free. I guess he will have wear out his welcome with John Leclair.

Too make matters worse the Flyers just got their butts handed to them by their farm team the Phantoms. It is going to be a long season.

Oh I am sure your sick of it, but read my dear readers I have a different take on the whole thing, and have a good twist at the end of this one. Again before you read this I don't agree with what he said.

“Rush to Judgment”


Well Rush Limbaugh left ESPN and that is not a surprise since the story mushroomed to an enormous story line. All talk radio, newspapers, and news cable outlets have been going wall to wall with this story. If you were under a rock recently you might not have heard that Limbaugh made a comment on ESPN before the NFL Pregame show. Here is the quote about our own Donovan McNabb that finished Limbaugh’s career in sports where he got his start.


“The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. They’re interested in black coaches and black quarterbacks doing well; I think there is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of his team that he really didn’t deserve.”


When he said that I think every white person in the country looked at each other and said, “Is he allowed to say that?”. I stand by my earlier claim that ESPN was the wrong place to bring up this point. Especially since he has his own talk show syndicated in almost every market. With in 24 hours many sports writers ripped Rush on this “racially sensitive comment” and liberal bloogers have had seemingly 24 hour erections.


Well the coaches’ part might have some merit. Within the last few years lawyers have gone after the NFL because they don’t think that there are enough black coaches in the NFL. Does that mean the NFL coaches are being overrated? (Hmm). Lawyers using statistics from the past 15 years, the report said black coaches had been more successful than their white counterparts, but that they weren't hired commensurate with that success. So basically owners should feel obligated to check the NFL’s coaching list before hiring to make sure a good amount is on the payroll? This story was national news for months, but now seems to have been forgotten. Was it a stretch to say maybe the NFL is doing a PR type tactic to make average Joe see black man play good football. Average Joe thinks NFL Blackman good he plays football. No problem with lack of coaches.

So do I buy that in an underground headquarters of the NFL they plucked Philly’s quarter back to be an unwilling pawn in some sort of effort to persuade the general public that the NFL doesn’t give African-Americans a raw deal? NO! I honesty don’t buy that owners with huge amounts of money on the line don’t hire better coaches. Besides I don’t think he meant he didn’t earn his spot on the team, its just that he isn’t a big threat as people would have you think, and is very beatable.

Now I honestly think the comment blown out of proportion local newscasters started claiming that Rush personally attacked the Eagles Quarterback which was untrue. He attacked the NFL and media. Not him. I thought to myself one day a comment will be made that will be equal or worse by African American about “The White Man”. Well that day actually passed by over 15 years go.

Okay I promised I would take a different angle and make a point at the start of this article. Okay with all the out cry is pretty obvious that the general American public thinks that race relations shouldn’t be talked about with sports. Most people think Rush had very little evidence to back his claim. Just vaguely blaming the media wasn’t enough right without any evidence. I mean heck he was pro-bowler. What if I told you before the internet and blogging that a similar comment had been made in a different sport, but it was black person making a comment about a white person? Well here is an article cut and pasted.


“In 1987, after the Boston Celtics beat the Detroit Pistons in the 7-game East finals due to Larry Bird’s fantastic performance, Isiah Thomas remarked that, sure, Bird was good, but, “If Bird was Black, he’d be just another good guy.” He said this to confirm his then-teammate Dennis Rodman’s racist comments. Never one to miss out on media publicity, Rodman whined that Bird was “overrated” and received media praise and attention only “because he is white.” (Not apparently because Bird—with several MVP seasons and the first NBA player to shoot better than 50 percent from the field and 90 percent from the foul line for consecutive seasons--had just spanked Thomas and Rodman on the court.)".

Well back than I guess you could get away with comments like that in sports since neither player was fined or suspended. As long as you don’t call anyone a Monkey (like hockey player Chris Simon did and got suspended for) than you are okay. Do you think anyone’s feelings were hurt by that? What about all those white boys who go down to the courts every morning and dreamed of making the NBA? Do you think in the late 80s they all threw their basketballs in the trashcans and went and shoot up heroine insead of free throws.

“My dream was ruined, some guy said that white players can’t become stars on merit alone!”


Funny when you think of 1980-90s basketball Bird is the only icon player that is white. Michael Jorden, Dr. J, and Magic Johnson come to mind. Do you really think they weren’t marketed at all? Bird certainly had the track record to be hyped up that much. So you could argue that his statement had equal factual support that Rush’s did. But that’s not racism right? Do you know what if figured happened instead of a media blitz after that? A bunch of white people looked at the floor.

If that’s not bad enough there is the infamous incident when Charles Barkley snapped at a room of mostly white reporters who were questioning him. (gasp). “That’s what I hate about White People…” Oh really? All White reporters are like that? What a blanket statement there Sir Charles. You would think that someone who had a least one element of hatred towards a particular race could have other bits of racism in them, right? Well you would imagine that if a white person said that’s what the hate about black people in any capacity their ass would have been fined, canned or they would be ripped apart by the dare I say it media. Last I heard he was thinking about running for office.


So if you think about it this whole “topic” isn’t shockingly brand new. It just gets swept under the rug every few years and comes with a pretty clean looking double standard.

"The Great Black Hype"


So Rush Limbaugh is in hotter water than ballpark frank over a comment he made on ESPN earlier this week in which he stated Eagles Quarterback Donovan McNabb was overrated because he was black and the media wanted to hype him up for the NFL, because apperently there are not a lot of black quarterbacks in the NFL.

Although I am open minded enough (is that irony?) to consider the possiblity that the NFL would want to try to show how diverse they are by trumping up a minority player in wake of all the PC stuff that goes around the country these days I don't agree with the claim. First off there are enough black players in the NFL as it is and black fans. Although I am no NFL expert, and only skim Eagles coverage and watch fragments of games I never really saw any evidence of the media giving this guy a pass. The Philly media pans anyone that underperforms all the time. I don't know about the national media.

Since I am not a hard core fan I have no idea if he is even over-rated. Jenna recently said she wanted to write and Eagles a letter about how much he sucked. My mom likes that AJ guy better. Does that count as anything? Perhaps the NFL did over-hype him, but I don't think it had anything to do with his skin color. The NHL does that constantly, does anyone actually think Jamie Storr, Eric Lindros or Alexander Daigle are future hall of famers? You might have by reading PR the NHL spewed out a few years ago about these busts. I do think the league might tell commentors ("The Media in this case I guess) to hype up players to make stars out of them. Either the NHL did that with Lindros or Bill Clement has some sort of homoerotic relationship with the Big E, who he will hype even if he spends the entire game wipping sweat off his brow with a dazed look on his face. Perhaps its the same in the NFL I wouldn't know. The local media certainly doesn't give anyone a pass and in sports I think thats the best way to get our coverage on a certain team.

I wonder if ESPN got what they wished, everyone is talking about the NFL pregame show. I honestly wouldnt have a problem if Rush had mentioned this "black card" theory on his syndicated radio show. Let me just clear this up I am not a ditto head. I know people might not buy into that statement since I am still trying to convince people I am not in love with Jenna. However that is his soapbox, I would have no problem if he did that on his show. You don't have to listen to him. I think Howard Eskin is a ten times larger asshole than Rush, so I rarely listen to him. I admit I tune in on occassion and I do admit to agreeing on what he says about some political issues but I certainly am about as far away as a philly team winning a championship to him when it comes to social vaulues such as race and gay marraiges.


I feel bad for Donovan a bit, despite playing awful the first two weeks. I think he is a classy and well spoken guy who needs this like a new Mathew Perry Movie.

Man what a great week for liberal bloogers Drew's "traffic" is going off the chart. Speaking of the l would like to address my traffic today. I would like to thank both my readers who check this web blog every two weeks. I would also like appoligize to the reader who thought he was reading the life and time of Darcey Tucker. Oh yeah we have a back up on 295 south bound too, which means it must be ending in Y.

"The Vet"

Well the Vet is now just another abandoned building in Philly. This past Sunday the last Phillies game and last event EVER was there. This week the building will start being gutted.

A good deal was mentioned about the stadium recently. The place had a pretty bad rap, with the awful playing surface and the dirty sections of the stadium. I watched a news report when the guy said it might not have been a great stadium, but when you mention the VET everyone knows what you are talking about.

I think what he ment to say, was that despite the buildings short comings thousands and thousands of people in this area have a story about an experience they had there. If it was a father who brought their son, or a couple who met there, or a memorable game. A million memories are there.

For me it wasnt the games so much as sitting there in the environment. My most memorable game I went to was the game I went to just after 9/11 with Lima Beanz and Ryan. I will never forget that strange feeling that was in the air that night. It was the first night that Baseball had returned after the attacks. I can't even explain the feeling it was a once in a life time feeling.

I am not even sure if they won or not to be honest with you. The building will be imploded in Feb. so now it just sits waiting its demise.

"Clean Slate"

Well more details are coming into Tucker's World about the birth of Jay and Jenna's baby.

Here are some stats. cut and pasted from the proud pappy.


Hunter Steven Volosin born at 11:45 AM on Friday
September 26th 2003.
7 lbs 14 ozs, 21 inches

Jenna will stay in the hospital until Sunday. She released a statment earlier today saying that the experience was trying but she was happy to finally see what the kid looked liked. Much to her dissappointment the child has Jay's ears.

Well this birth has gotten a lot of coverage on my blog. Sometimes Lima Beanz has come under fire, and there have been some damaging reports. However things arent doomed just because the situation is a bit akward. There is still time to change the situation for the better which for the most part is the money aspect.

Luckily for Hunter I will no longer have to refer to him as "it" or "Baby Beanzie". You have to be a bit jealous of the child who has a clean slate. Nothing has been set in stone and he has his whole life ahead of him. Who wouldn't want a clean slate like that?

"The Arrivial"

Lima Beanz and Jenna are now parents. As of sometime this morning. I missed the call from Jay but the voice mail said that they are now proud parents of a bouncing baby boy. It is unconfirmed at this point wheather or not that Hunter is actually the boy's name.

Tucker's World has not yet learned the actual weight of their child, but there is no reason to think that the birth didn't go smoothly. It is also unclear at this point if Jenna was staying the night in the hospitial.

The contest has already started and already have one winner. Tucker's World plans interview Jenna on here, but it might be hard what with all the poop and screaming and all.

Congrats. the two of you welcome the wonderful world of parenthood. Now the real challenge has started which will last the rest of their lives.

Tucker's World will keep you up to date this weekend

developing.....

"Lesbian Roast"

So out of the blue Ryan and are invited to a former classmate’s surprise 24th b-day party by her girlfriend (not that there is anything wrong with that). It just seems a little strange mainly since Ryan has seen her very few times since we graduated highschool back in 1998. DAMN WE ARE OLD.

Anyway I wouldn’t know the girlfriend who is organizing the event if I ran her over with my 1991 Ford Tempo. So I take it she got my address from an old year book. Now I have seen the guest of honor some what recently. I see her maybe 4 times a year, but that is only because I happen to be at Starview or the same bar as her. I did see more of her since the end of Sterling since we both went to CCC. She didn’t change much still had all kinds of drama going on from what I gathered.

Anyway the party is a “roast” kind of like the things you see on Comedy Central. In addition it is a fundraiser. They are raising money so she gets a car for her 24th b-day. Now keep in mind she wasn’t in some sort of accident or anything. In fact just a week ago I saw her at Somerdale and the Pike at a red light. Her car was nicer than mine! It was kind of old, but I guess could use anew one. Yet the invitation suggests donations from 20-75 to the get her a car fund.

The invitation claims how proud we are all of her recent accomplishments. The last time I saw her was at the diner almost 4 months ago, and I at the time was only working one day a week so I thought I was going to need another job and she offered me a part time job for the summer chich was nice (that only lasted two weeks or so for those of you that still think I work one day a week) . She told me she was working for some movie company or owned some company that does props work for movies when they are shot here. Apparently its not going to well if she can not afford a car of her own. I havent talked to her since.

Now what I don’t get am I obligated to donate the 20 bucks to get in? I don’t spend that much on a friend let alone a casual acquaintance. I mean my car is older and has been around since I was still at Parkview Elementary for Gods sakes. When are people going to raise money for me? We are allowed to make jokes I think. The only one I could think of is that she got more girls in highschool than I did.

The only thing I can think is that they are really scrapping the bottom of the barrel when they got to me. I only hung out with the girl through other people. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against her or her lifestyle but I have not been invited to people’s wedding who I considered myself closer with at some point let alone some friend of mutual friends fundraising b-day.

I can’t figure out if this was a really ballsy unique move, or plan out weird.

Surprise Roast Fundraiser, eh? ((stroking chin))

::: picturing a fundraiser for baby beanzie::

Oh wait, Jenna hated all the girls in high school and broke too many of the guys hearts, and no one remembers who Jay is. Eh, ain’t my kid.

Although If Dan K decides to have a bachelor party(assuming I am invited to his wedding.) I better start making a mental guest list. Even though his party will likely be in a chatroom. Here is what I have so far.

Dan Pike
Jim Amlio
Ray Shawn “The Chief” Hall
Andrew “Vegal,Andy, Drew, Puma, Destro, Uncle Drew,”Vogel.
Lima Beanz
Ed
Matt Owens (perhaps a rematch of the famous St. Luke’s Showdown?)
Old Mantis
Jaun Rios
Jason Kennedy
Jon Shane
Steve Libby
Jason Good

So what did we learn from this article? Well I guess sometimes it is better for me to go up and make a bologna sandwich and go to bed instead of writing for Tucker's World.

For the record I don't see myself making the event.

“Baby Later”

Well unless victim of a prank Jenna didn’t not give birth to first born son of Jay tonight like I predicted. So it looks as though this contest results in no one winning again. So I am going to spice things up a bit, and expand the contest to the whole gender thing.

If LIMA BEANZ and JENNA give birth to a bouncing baby boy than the first two people to email me TUCKERS WORLD ROCKS! will get a prize from yours truly. I will post on here as soon as humanly possible after word of the birth of “Baby Beanzie” reaches me. Given the fact that my cell phone provider sucks big time I might not get the message until sometime around 2004.


Oh I would also like to propose that if the boy is born the same day that Conan O’brien’s kid is born that the kid is named after the Late Night talk show host.

My entry today was originally going to be valid points against the theory that my friends hold about Clinton being the best President ever, but my mind got side tracked. Enjoy these two little nuggets of joy insead.

“Killer Rats”


Okay if it isn’t bad enough that there are genetically altered featherless chickens out there, trolls lurking on the sides of the Garden State Park Way and Homosexual sheep out there now if you couldn’t tell by the title of this article you have a killer rats to look out for.

An unusual breed of rats is inflicting damage on Kyrgyzstan's Dzhalal-Abad region (apparently a place in Europe). These pesky little rats can climb trees ( a bit more nimble than their South Jersey/Philly distant cousins I presume) and are destroying produce.

If rats chomping on Apples doesn’t freak you out they seem more aggressive in nature. They have reportedly been attacking the good people of the Kyrgyzstan's Dzhalal-Abad region and their small children are feared to be a bigger risk of becoming a buffet for a swarm of killer rats. Maybe we can unleash some of these violent natured rodents at my work when the children misbehave.

Scientists and people who are smarter than me theorize that this mutant or killer rats are a cross between muskrats and city rats. Apparently this results in an evil hybrid of blood thirsty rodents. Who would have thought messing around with nature would result in this? I’d imagine that people are trying to shoot this little buggers, and theorize their dead bodies might be made into McDonalds Cheesesteaks.

"You Have Reached the United States of America Sorry We Didn't Get your Call"

So I keep hearing about this national deficit. Maybe I am stupid, but I don’t know how we owe this money to countries? Other people tell me its actually money we owe ourselves. If that is the case than who cares? What are we going to do kick our own asses if we don’t pay?

I learned anything the past few years it is you don’t HAVE to pay your bills. Lima Beanz left his car idle outside my house years ago and missed a few payments on it because he was out of work. Now he drives around a much nicer car than he did before. So who is the fool? Jokes on the collections office.

Why don’t we just pull an LB and not pay off the bills? If it’s the other countries that we owe money the solution is simple. Just don’t pay them back. They never pay us back for anything. In fact when we get other countries out of a jam we usually end up paying them or rebuilding their country.

Is Italy calling us up right now? ::Italian accent:: HEY AMERICA WHEN ARE GONNNA GET ME THE MONEY? I HAVE NO MONEY TO MAKE MY BIG A PIZZA PIES! GIME ME THE MONEY WE NEED A THE BIILLION DOLLARS.

What is even better if these countries are really calling us. Why not help the unemployment situation our country is suffering and hire people to make lame excuses when people start asking us if we are going to get around to paying them. Here are a few good ones. Have them tell the countries looking for their cash that the we are at the guy in charge of treasury fund is at the gym. Maybe we can just put them all on the national no call list .

“HurriaLAME Isabel”




Well the Hurricane is going deeper and deeper into the land. The storm has lost most of its form at this point and unless you live in North Carolina or Virginia which are being smacked down pretty hard. The lack of warm water to feed this little lady will downgrade her to just a huge bunch of rain and a occasional gusts of winds. These gusts could easily cause a nuisance if they knock down power lines, which will certainly happen at some point. Of course it won’t be as wide spread as in the more Southern Sates.

Despite being under a state of an emergency its likely that we have seen heavier rains during all the storms we were hit with this past summer at this point. The shore will suffer some beach erosion out for sure, and more high risk low level points such as Strathemere and the North Side of Sea Isle and center city Ocean City might get some flooding but nothing to worry about. Even more south Cape May might have a good deal of flooding. They have anticipated this and told everyone to slack off on Friday and not bother showing up to school or work. I hope you didn’t leave a boat in the waters down there!

The main area to be affected (In the Delware Valley) by this will be West of the City just after at the flooding of a few days ago. The ground simply won’t be able to absorb the moisture. This will result in us sitting in our nice warm dry homes laughing at people from the Keystone state standing on the tops of their cars. If for some reason your house starts to flood just roll up some Criminal Justice or Public Relation degrees and push them under your doorway in order to prevent your lower level turning into a waddling pool. Although I doubt any of my readers will have to worry about anymore than what DVD to pick out their COLLECTION this evening to pass the time of the miserable weather night.

Some people were fairly nonchalant towards Isabel and others thankful. The fighting Phillies might have been thankful that they got their game in earlier today, because the wind gusts made for some unpredictable fly balls that benefited them in their race for the wildcard. They are ½ games behind, with a final show down on the Marlins turf next week. Meanwhile Chris is going up to the big apple to live it up with Dave and paint the town a colorful shade of Arter.

The good news is usually over hyped storms result in giving employers an excuse to slack off. The bad news is its only 4 30 and the worse is yet to come in our area. People should at least be careful if they are driving around tonight, and make sure anything that could blow away is taken in tonight. With any luck the Eagles will be blown away in exchange for a team that actually has a clue. Hopefully all our illegal immigrants can go flying to California were they can drive legally.

New Jersey has been declared a state of emergency so this contest has been negated. I win. Although some areas could be in for some tricky weather I hate to break it to most people that business and schools in this immediate area are likely to be open tomorrow. If you guys are planning to stay in tonight come back to my blog because I will likely update again before the storm clears.

"Stealth!"


Go here but don't tell anyone. It is a top secret link only given to people in the circle of trust. This includes myself and both of my readers. Even the one who only reads my blog once a month who I sadly actually consider a "reader".


http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=notmosco305

How did I found out about this blog? STEALTH! That is all you need to know. THe author of it is also unknown.

“Hackett Racket”

So everyone keeps mocking the fact the Flyers decision to pick up Jeff Hackett in the off season. I honestly think it was a wise move by Bob Clarke. Sure he has never won a playoff round in his life but who is counting? Hackett quite the NHL journeyman has played for Montreal, Chicago, Boston, and San Jose to name a few. Sure Hackett was next to last in Goals-Against Average as to opposed to Roman Checkmanaek who was 2nd in the league. Who cares that Checkmanek was third in safe percentage and Hackett hovered around the average percent in the league.

Checko has some bad blood with the fans and teammates. His post-season play was just awful where he would let up too many weak goals and kept the Flyers out of games they should have been in. Roman will likely put up less impressive numbers this season with the less effective defensive system in front of him. I don’t see him playing in the states anymore than two more years.

At the prime of his career I would certainly say Hackett was an underrated net minder however he is far from cup worthy. His last few years he seems to have been caught in some healthy competition situations with # 1 goalies in the league. Just look at some of the games he stood on his head in while in Montreal. Now I am not saying Hackett is going to hoist the cup anytime soon. The truth with Hasek in net this team couldn’t win the cup, not unless a major roster overhaul happens this season. The team is too old, too slow, and not creative enough offensively to even make it to the finals.


Last year JR lead the team in scoring yet was behind was 57th in the NHL in scoring. The team is a dud and goalie prospects Anetro Nittymaki, or Roman Malek are excepted to be the future of the team, however the future is not anytime soon it seems. Heck unless Malek impresses at training camp he may never make it into the league he is already 26 and Nittymaki looks to be the one that will be given a shot, but not for awhile.


Despite the fact that Jeff Hackett’s body is pretty torn up, he will certainly make a better mentor than CHECKO. CHECKO who has limited English would be more inclined to try to redeem himself than try to show Robert Esche the ropes. You see the Flyers are hoping Robert who is well liked by the team can be the next Giggy (the Ducks surprise goalie success story last season for you non-hockey fans). Its highly unlikely but since the franchise is in a transition stage to a younger crop of players Hacketts’ role is to basically baby sit the next until one of the prospect eggs hatch into NHL level goalies. Meanwhile what is the harm in seeing is Esche is the diamond in the rough? Maybe he was a steal.

I doubt he will be a Cup contender, but in all honestly he played better last season than expected and has yet to reach his full potential. Will he be the answer? Highly doubtful but we have a season that is pretty much a write off so now is a better time than any to find out if we don’t actually have to wait for these “prospects” to shake Snider down for million dollar contracts to stop some frozen rubber.

Oh yeah, in a somewhat related story Mark Recchi is going to be a victim on the Jamie Kennedy Experiment this season. The show is one of those celebrities play a prank on someone shows I checked it out a few times when WB had it before Off Centre (which shouldn’t not have been canceled.) Apprently Keith Jones, and John Leclair are in on this prank too so it should be funny. Oh yeah, there is another one when Leclair convinces Snider he pays him 9 million dollars to do nothing on the ice night after night. OH WAIT!

“A Storm, a Contest & a Baby!”

Well Lima Beanz and Jenna are expecting a kid as you all know. My sources say that if the child is a boy the name would be Hunter named after a drug addicted sports writer or Isabel ironically the same name of a Cat 5 Hurricane that is making a B-line for the US.

First off I know all my readers want to hear the latest about LB and Jenna. Well Jenna’s belly is bigger than the national deficit right now and that kids reading to pop on out.

I predict that they will give birth to a boy and he will weigh 8.3 lbs. I think he will be born on September 24th which would be week from this Wednesday. Oh and for the record for anyone who doesn’t already know LB’s parents finally know they are going to be first time grandparents but are likely to miss the birth of their grandchild since they are going to Cancun on vacation. One that was planned because they didn’t know their son had impregnated his girlfriend.

Actually getting out of town might not be such a bad idea. My readers and friends might know I am a bit of a weather buff, when I am not looking for a job, watching DVDs, hockey or crying myself to sleep at night I read up on the topic.

I have had my eye on Hurricane Isabel since early last week, and I had been keeping a close on the track of the storm. I thought it might actually come on here, and now it looks like that might actually happen.

Right now Irene is 900 miles or so from the coast and moving between a Category 4 and Cat. 5. Cat 5 is what would be considered devastating. Gusts during the storm’s most intense moments are estimated to be around 250 MPH. Luckily for us the combination of the storm having to travel North up the coast and colder waters in our region is likely to significantly weaken the storm. However given the size and strength of the storm it won’t be enough to make it something we can write off. I think it will hit land at Cat 3 at best, but likely closer to 2. If you think that makes a lame storm average winds for a cat 2 are 96- 110 MPH. I could easily be over-estimating the storms impact Cat rating but still. The earlier it hits landfall the weaker it will be when it hits us so if that is the case it could be as low as a Cat 1, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

All but one of the projected paths have it almost directly making land fall on New Jersey at one point. A few of them have us taking the direct hit, but most people think North Carolina or Virginia will be slammed first and the worse.

However I tend to think that the storms impact might be north of that point. I tend to think its going to hit directly in Delware. Which could cause major problems for us the shore is likely to get walloped with tidal flooding and high winds. Given the storms size we are likely to be engulfed by it if this is the case. Than again I am no weatherman and there is still a chance that the storm can just say screw his and double back out the ocean. However its more likely the Phillies will win the wild card race.

Mark my words this storm will affect us in one way or another. There is a certainly a good chance that my readers will be off from school and/or work later in this week. It clearly has the potential to be the worst storm any of my readers have ever witnessed in this area.

Now if a state of emergency is not declared as a result of this storm, than the first two readers to email me KEITH YOU SUCK will get a present. If LB & “The One’s” kid is born on the predicted date the first two readers to write me and email saying TUCKERS WORLD ROCKS will get something in return. On the second if I am wrong NOTHING HAPPENS I go to jail peacefully quietly.

Now if I am right about the storm. You better hold on to your butts! What I mean is Old Testament, dear readers, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fires and brimstone coming down from the sky, rivers and seas boiling-- years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes--The dead rising from the graves! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

"What? John Ritter?!?!"


Once and awhile there are celebrity deaths that hit closer to home to others. Ones that seem too unfair, to early to say goodbye. Of course there are beloved stars that have pasted in the past 10 years or so that you hate to see go, but knew the end was near. Like James Stewart who lived a good life, or even Francis Albert whose ailing health condition gave his fans amble time to prepare for his exiting this Earth. Once in awhile the death of a famous person gets me really thinking for more than a day, some times in disbelief. The list that I can think of on the top of my head that really effected me is a rather short list for 23 years, and granted I might be leaving out a few. John Candy, Phil Hartman, Roger Nelison, and Jim Henson come immediately to mind.

For some reason the shocking death of actor John Ritter really hit me on harder scale than some other famous people dying and I think he could be added to that list. If you didn’t hear by now (one of my co-workers didn’t as of today) Ritter collapsed and died of a heart aliment. He had a tear in his aorta, a rare condition that usually goes undetected. Not that I was a hard core fan of his, I honestly couldn’t tell you the difference between seasons of Three’s Company let alone claim that I have seen 50 % of the shows that he did. It’s been quite awhile since I watch the reruns that I barely remember specific plots of the sitcom just the basic premise.


When I heard on the news that he had passed away, I honestly thought there must have been some sort of grave mistake. I didn’t even really accept he was dead till I saw them repeat the story a couple of times. Who would have thought he would have died? He was in his early 50’s his return to television had just started a year ago. I honestly thought for before they put the picture up that it was a DIFFERENT John Ritter. I thought to myself NOT JOHN RITTER!.

In all honestly I didn’t watch 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter (what an awful title) regularly, but I would wager I caught maybe 5 episodes from the first season, and it was pretty funny( not to mention Katey Cuoco who plays his one daughter is hot). You could tell the show hadn’t quite hit its prime yet (who does in season 1), but what made the show so enjoyable was the comic performance of Ritter. He was a master at the comedic television craft. The way he played off other cast members showed his knowledge of great comic timing.

Watch some of his Three’s Company (the show that he will be always known for)highlights and you will see what a laugh out loud funny physical comedy bits he preformed over the years. This is one of those shows that was one I looked for in reruns if I was home sick or on a rainy day. What made Ritter so appealing was his coming across as a likeable buffoon. Sounds like a cliché, but the character of Jack Tripper could have been easily mishandled had a less talented actor playing the part.

Jack was a basic goofball who at heart was a good person, but inspired to a lady’s man. Some will argue that people tuned into see his female co-stars, but his pratfalls the and throwing his body around generated huge laughs. 8 Simple Rules, one of the one shows ABC has to offer that’s worth your time introduced Ritter to a new generation. Its funny because I remember thinking recently I should watch the show more since I actually laughed out loud when watching it before.

Ritter never made an enormous impact when he moved from Television to film, but his film resume is stronger than people give him credit for. Unfortunely he is known mainly for the dreadful Problem Child movies (although he did generate some laughs) and by people my age the now almost forgotten Stay Tuned a respectful guilty pleasure silly romp of a film. A majority of his films for awhile were made for television movies with the exception of Stephen King’s IT in which was mainly dramatic role for him. You usually can tell when Serious John Ritter is going to be there because he grows a beard.

Ritter was also in Sling Blade which I have never seen, but I understand its quite a departure from sitcom fare. Ritter dipped into the art house movie pool before returning TV. He actually had returned once to television in a series called Hearts Afire but I apparently am the only one the recalls that series that had aired in the early 90’s. Anyway he turned in a solid performance in Panic, and last year’s little seen but underrated Tadpole. Both movies I saw with in the last year and made me want to see him more in dramatic roles.

It just is strange thinking he is gone. Who honestly though Don Knotts would out live John Ritter? Kind of makes you think when someone can just go out like the flick of a light switch with no warning. He seemed like a genuinely good person, but I guess it was just his time. Something that is out of anyone’s control or understanding.

I have been out of town for awhile so I haven't posted anything for awhile. I promise to update often now (for real this time). I plan to chime in on the shocking death of John Ritter, the soon to be born baby Beanzie and the Flyers new goalie Jeff Hackett. I was away during 9/11 so I didn't get to write about it being two years after the event. This 2nd year reflections were quite scaled down and on a smaller scale, since I don't have much more to say about the event I have posted my thoughts from a year ago.



"9/11 a Look Back"

Again this post was written a year ago.
It is funny how days can slowly slip by piling up to an entire calendar year so quickly. Its hard to believe it has been a year since the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington occurred. Every paper you pick up, every channel you turn on will bombard you with images of planes ripping buildings in half, people covered in soot, heroic accounts of the NY police and fireman, stories of narrow escapees, and many stories of lost loved ones. Granted it is overwhelming, but its important that the day is remembered. Not that the major networks had a choice in the matter refusal to air any coverage would be seen as insensitive. I couldn't justify ABC running reruns of According to Jim in place of retrospectives, even if that means having to see Peter Jennings face for a prolonged period of time.


A year ago tomorrow morning the sun rose on the World Trade Center for the last time. A year ago the towers dwarfed the landscape. A year ago from when I post and publish this people most likely someone was marveling at the size of this towers completely in the dark. For the last time people headed out the door of their homes to work. For the last time people laid eyes on their loved ones. Some used their cell phones to express their final words later that day.


The weather of September 11, 2001, was prefect. Not a cloud graced the blue sky in South Jersey nor over New York City. Of course all of that changed with in a few hours after Manhattan was engulfed in black cloud.


I had a morning work shift before heading off to class. As I was brushing my teeth, I overhead the news channel saying something about the World Trade Center. For some reason I thought they were just talking about the anniversary of when a car bomb was driven in to the towers. Apparently I forgot about the fact that it was snowing lightly that morning in 1993. When I first saw the image I couldn't get over how black the smoke was. My first reaction was some Arab (or terrorist of some sort) has set a bomb off in there. For some reason I thought that the fire would be put out in hours.


Then one of the news channels was speculating about a plane that had hit it. There goes the media blowing things out of proportion again, I thought to myself. Within a minute of seeing that I witnessed another ball of fire, so focused on the towers I didn't even notice the image of the 2nd plane slamming in the WTC. Driving to work I had Howard Stern on, there is not doubt about he said...we are at war.


Later that day I watched on TV at work, like the rest of that nation. Like all Americans I thought to myself the unthinkable is happening before my eyes. How much more did these people have in store for us? Then news footage flipped to the pentagon, and what was more disturbing is a customer still wanted me to wait on her. I spent 10 minutes selling a washer as word came that 3rd plane crashed in Pennsylvania some where. I couldn't help but think we were in the middle of the whole thing.


The reporter on the news cast I was watching at work, mentioned the whole tower shook. I thought maybe a bomb had gone off or something. However, about a minute later the tower began to collapse. The sound the reporter heard must have been the tower starting to implode. The tower disappeared in a giant cloud of smoke. For some reason I thought that other tower would remain standing. I guess I was in denial or something. When the 2nd tower went down, I knew I was watching one of the most important moments in America's history. I also realized how meaningless my problems were, and how I should just be thankful that I didn't know anyone who lost their lives that day. Life is silly that way. Later that night Ryan, Lima Beanz, myself and met Price and his father at Champs in Cherry Hill. It was a bizarre experience having footage on all the televisions there.


Human beings jumped to their death picking that as an option to go makes you understand the hellish conditions that they experienced. Thousands of horrifying images exist. Thankfully these images exist for future generations to have a perhaps some sort of understanding what happened that day. Images I will most likely remember for the rest of my life. Even the aftermath seeing the largest almost ridiculously huge buildings in history reduced to tomb of cement and metal. The are various erie images on the Internet, including a shot of the landmark sculpture the sphere which stood outside one of the towers dented and mangled.


The weeks that followed had everyone on edge. I still have the tendency to think to myself...that plan is flying a little low isn't it? Or looks a little too slanted? Isn't the Philadelphia airport in the other direction? We saw New York late night funny men David Letterman and Jon Stewart reduced to tears. We saw American flags on dozens of cars, we lit candles one night collectively as a nation. We discussed it in our classes, we tried to figure out who did this to us and why. We pondered about what could be done to make it safer. We realized what a poor condition the FBI was in. Missteps such as not having enough people to translate Arabic while intercepting messages, lack of organization,cutting the FBI during the 90's, and perhaps being a little too forgiving for the bombing of the USS Cole, and the WTC incident of 1993.


Eventually we got back to about our everyday lives at least those of us who didn't lose anyone directly did.

It wasn't long before we as nation debated if the word God should be in the Pledge of Allegiance. Baseball players childishly quibbled over money. People were wondering if that fruity white kid with the afro would become the American Idol (although hopefully none of my readers were not). The media exploited subjects like Anthrax, and came up with any thing they could to scare up viewers.

“No Bad Blood”

A few posts ago I mentioned Ryan had disgust for crew members that would rival Dan K. It was mainly just a joke about how he never wanted participate in anything to do with the crew, and avoids Dukes apartment like the plague. It was mainly inserted to give Dan a chuckle. I apparently and succeeded because after the fact he cut and pasted the portion of the article and emailed it to me.

It came to my attention that people took it as Ryan had “bad blood” towards certain people. As far as I know that isn’t the case, so I don’t want people thinking so. Ryan was unavailable for comment, meaning he was likely “At the Gym” or in bed already.

"Hockey Armageddon"


Hockey Armageddon is looming. I have been reading my annual NHL preview book and it seems almost every writer is feeling very pessimistic about the collective bargaining agreement (CBA) to take place in September of 2004. Some speculate the players and owners are so far apart that there might not be a 2005-6 let alone a 2004-05. Many think that the sky is falling and the lockout is expected to last longer than the one almost a decade ago. I really don’t like what I am hearing.

In one corner we have NHL commissioner Gary Bettman who’s current situation could easily mirror that of the captain of the titanic. The commissioner has seemingly passively stood by as his world continually looms closer to destruction. First off the product on the ice isn’t nearly as entertaining as it was 5 years ago let alone the last time they had a work stoppage. The clutch and grab in the neutral zone has snuffed a good deal of the excitement out of NHL hockey. Bettman has promised again and again to crack down on obstruction but everyone knows its an empty threat. After saying for the 5th time that he was serious last season it he was going to come down on the referees he backed off drastically and by the time Christmas rolled around the obstruction was back to the level it had been the previous seasons. I used to say to non-hockey fans with the right match up, I could sit them down and make them watch one or two games and have them hooked instantly on the sport. I actually turned lots of my friends on to the wonderful sport, but honestly now I don’t think I could convert a non-fan to a fan if I paid them. I have trouble watching an entire game now sometimes.

In the other corner we have Bob Goodenow the head of the players union. Despite the fact that Bettman hasn’t insisted upon it, you can bet your Gordie Howe jersey that he wants a salary cap or at the very least a luxury cap. Goodenow flat out refuses to accept a salary cap for his camp. Apparently he was out of town when the Buffalo Sabres and Ottawa Senators went belly-up financially last season. Luckily a bored billionaire purchased Buffalo and the NHL took over the Senators temporally and the franchise seems to be back on their feet for right now. THE NHL NEEDS A SALARY CAP, I REPEAT THE NHL Needs a salary cap.

Without a salary cap this problem will only snowball and many other teams will suffer similar fates. There is simply isn’t enough kind hearted millionaires or money in the league to bail out franchises that annually lose money. What might be a common ground is a Luxury Tax (I believe the NBA has this) it is basically a payment system x amount of money over a certain amount spend on one player will go into supporting the small market teams. I guess kind of like hockey welfare. NHL players granted play a lot more games but it doesn’t make sense to me that their average players make more than the average football players. The NFL (which has a salary cap) is a money making machine, where as more than half of the NHL teams lose money each year. Players that literally score 20 goals are year have multi-million dollar contracts. There seems to be zero chance at this point of the players giving into a salary cap. Better chance of John Leclair being a 50 goal score again I am afraid. Utterly ridiculous.

There is a laundry list of things that the two sides have to agree on before they come to an agreement. Some don’t even make sense to me at all. For example players want to broaden the definition of the term revenues. They want to get a piece of the action from the concessions, advertising, luxury suites and parking money. I don’t see how this could work since most of these things are owned by different companies who get the money for it. For example the majority of the parking for the Flyers is privately owned and has nothing to do with Comcast of the Flyers. The players would also like to see the age that a player can be unrestricted free agent lowered from 31 to 28. There is also talk about shaving the regular season from 82 to 72.

It gets even worse folks. The NHL ABC/ESPN deal expires at the end of this season. So they are going to try to negotiate with a possible non-existent product? Seeing where some markets NHL games barely beat out arena football games, its going to be a tough sell. What about the players contracts if a season doesn’t exist? Does that count as a year on their contract? Will the ESPN have to pre-empt their nights ahead of time only to have to put on Bass masters marathons?

I hate to sound like a broken record, but it even gets worse for the NHL. In order to make this point I have to give you a brief hockey history lesson. In the 1970’s a rival league formed called the World Hockey Association (WHA) and although they were mocked for their orange pucks (hey better on tv right?)and the fact their franchises were constantly folding or relocating they did give the NHL a run for their money during that decade. They managed to bring over some of the biggest names in hockey at the time, from Bobby Hull, to Bernie Parent to Mr. Hockey himself Gordie Howe not to mention countless others. The WHA finally bit the dust in 1979, and their survivors the Hartford Whalers (now the Carolina Hurricanes), Winnipeg Jets (Phoenix Coyotes now), Quebec Nordiques (Colorado Avalanche), and the Edmonton Oilers (the only WHA team that stayed put) landed in the NHL. Heck old 99 himself started out with Oilers (technically the Huston Areos who basically sold him to the Oilers) when they were the in the WHA.

Curiously enough the WHA is coming back! The 2003-045 season will mark the first season of the WHA2. It starts in 60 days or so with only a handful of teams, but could easily double in a year if enough intrest is sparked. The ball has started rolling for such a movement. Bobby Hull is back as the commissioner of the WHA2 which plans to offer a high level alternate professional hockey league. Entertainment for the whole family they boast. Hmmm. They ran an ad in the Hockey News soliciting franchises if anyone is interested. Now one thing they got against them is some of the major cities simply have no room at the inn. The closest I see a WHA franchise coming to my home is Atlantic City. They would have to either work out a deal with the Bullies or oust them. Because every other rink in this area that could hold such an event is owned by the Flyers in some capacity. I don’t see a fledging league being able to construct their own buildings so they will have to go through markets and see where they can blow the dust off the old stadiums. Winnipeg is close to becoming a team of the WHA2. Other candidates include Pittsburgh, Hamilton, Québec City, Nova Scotia, Saskatoon and Vancouver in Canada, and Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Minnestoa (close to filling the papers), Hartford(RETURN OF THE WHALE?), Pittsburgh (big mistake), Los Angeles and Milwaukee (they are actually crazy about hockey out there). I am not sure if they could actually steal teams from the American Hockey League (the AHL, the NHL’s minors where the phantoms play)or not. The AHL is suffering a bit from overload after taking the International Hockey League (IHL) refuges when their league folded a few years back. If an NHL team goes belly up this year could WHA2 team jump in their grave? There already seem to be some doubling up going on here in some fairly big markets.

Orlando Seals, Jacksonville Barracudas, Miami Manatees and Macon (Georgia) Traxx were
pulled out of the Atlantic Coast Hockey League (REALLY REALLY Minor League)by owner David Waronker for the WHA2 already. The league plans to have 16 player rosters, more teams the second season at least, and eventually expand into Europe. They come right out on their website and mention their attention is to rock the NHL again. This ain't no IHL or AHL who just sits and lovingly watches the NHL, the WHA is out for round 2. Unlike the XFL's challenge to the NFL that leasted one season the WHA2 is going against a wounded opponent.

The owners might like the WHA2 to get some publicity because it will make the players start sweating bullets if the WHA2 takes off. How can they stop them from drafting players from college and the juniors to play in the 2003-04 season or 2004-05 season? Can Players just refuse to report to team if they are offered something by the WHA? Or will the WHA just make their draft before the NHL and take anyone they want? The NHL certainly doesn’t own rights to college students and junior hockey players. Could some NHL players just say screw it and abandon ship? Brett Hull in the twilight of his career might want to play two more seasons. Maybe he will play his final season in the WHA and help his father out who he recently reconciled with. He has been openly critical about the NHL’s policies and seemingly sides with what the owners have to say. Things got a little out of hand last time the there was a lockout. The Devils owner said to HELL with the small market teams, and Chris Cheilos made a comment about crazy fans doing something to Gary Bettman or his family. It was taken by many as indirect threat. Some players who might have two years left are likely to just walk away from the mess, including Steve Yeserman, Jeremey Roenick, Mark Recchi, Hasek, and Chelios himself to just say screw it and never come back to the NHL, especially if an entire season falls through.

So the WHA2 could jump on players that don’t get resigned at the end of the year, heck there are quite a few that never got signed this summer. Again it raises the question how valid a contact is for a league that never goes back to work. The world cup will still go on unaffected by the CBA, and you be sure players such as Peter Forseberg will just go back to their native countries and play for them. Some people think Peter arguably the best player in the league (sorry Clarkie) will never come back if he plays an entire year over there.

Of course we have a year to see how things pan out. I am actually the first person to even throw in the who WHA2 theory(Can I will let you now the first time I see a writer steal my theory.), but I am sure I am not going to be the last. They went for the NHL’s jugular in the 70’s, why not do it again? The timing is perfect. What is better this time is they have a clean slate and not as much BS to make up new rules. They can design the rules to make it almost impossible to use the trap. Perhaps implement some drastic different meanings for the lines on the rink that the NHL is afraid to do(and rightfully so). Again, maybe its speculation, may the Bob Goodenow’s head isn’t screwed on right, perhaps his shoes are on too tight, and he might just might come to his senses and avoid a lockout. So there isn’t much we can do about the pending NHL Armageddon it’s controlled by people far richer than us, who care less about the game than we do. For now try to enjoy the sport and put it out of your mind, try to enjoy whatever pureness of the game remains in this day in age. Try to forget that every players makes more in two shifts than some people do in a several years. Engulf yourself in the wonderful world of hockey, just keep your eye on the falling sky and look out for ORANGE PUCKS!

"Mosco Signs Off"

Now the Blog Square is down to a triangle. John Mosco has decided that its time to hang up the old keyboard after 429 days. This leaves Jenna and Mindless, Tucker's World, and TERMINUS as the three remaining crew blogs.


John's blog was the first one that I recall being up. He was by far the most advanced blogger, because he actually used images on his site. He was also the first to have a comments section.

I urge the people that actually read his page to go back and revisit the link and read some of his classics. I don't know if it gets any better than "Match Made in Hell" I don't know awards are given out for blogs but he should get one. Other articles usually had nothing to do with anyone I ever knew. I am sad I will not be able to hear why the Rangers Suck. John was unavailable for contact, which means he wasn't signed on when I posted this.


Maybe the blogging bubble is about the burst or something. Speaking of blogs look back here for some good old fashion hockey talk soon.

"I hate the sun with a passion. I don't know what it is about rainy miserable days that make me so damn happy, but I absolutely loathe the sun." ------ Dan K. Hemphill


"What Summer?"

Well this summer was certainly different for me. It was the first summer that I had a girlfriend which allowed me to do things that would be considered strange if I did it alone or gay if I did it with one of my supposed heterosexual friends. I honestly can say I had a fun time at the Amish Market, and enjoyed BUILDING A BEAR. Liza also managed to reintroduce me into the video game world. Of course I stick to the more silly gamecube type games and the sport games Liza hates. It was a good of time as any to help Mario save the world since it rained more days than South Jersey has diners. We had a lot of fun this summer together.


For some reason it just never really felt like summer though. Maybe it was the fact that we had very few heat waves. Maybe I spent too much time answering the same 10 questions in my dead end depressing job. Maybe it was the dismal weather that kept me from going to the beach more than once and only managing to get into my pool a handful of times. Perhaps it’s the fact that the crew is on life support, and only seem to live off people returning to town. From Steve’s brief return to South Jersey before ultimately defecting to the evil North Jersey, Price the War Veteran, Royce who came out of no where to return to the ever popular Mosco returns that never come close to the hype. Once or twice a month Ryan would show up. He seemingly had 24 hour practice and gigs all summer long and disgust for crew members that would rival Dan K.


Some summer standards were there. I mean Lima Beanz sat around and refused to work, nothing says summer like Lima Beanz being off of work 24/7. I can't blame the weather makes you want to sleep all day and not do anything.

I think I recently realized what it was though. When the summer ends for me now it just ends. There is no change of pace, no more back to school, nothing to break up the mundane routine passing of each day. Just the same, even if I had landed a descent job by now, the change of the seasons mean nothing more than what the trees look like when your speeding past them to go to work. At best the indicate what you have to wear, and what sporting events you can catch on tv for the little bit of free time you allow yourself.

Luckily for all of us humanity might come to an end soon. Scientists think a Meteor will hit earth in 2014 and if it hits us just about right the Earth will be destroyed for the most part. I wonder if its overcast in purgatory.

“The Girl in Tucker’s Cell Phone”


So Liza lives roughly 20 minutes from my house and lately I have been listening 610 WIP lately at night on my way there. I have never gotten on the show in my life, but have tried after Flyers games quite a few times. Its simple just push star 610 and you are good to go. I would always be on hold.

Anyway I tried calling in again recently, and when I call much to my surprise a girl answered the phone just saying simply hello. I was thrown off seeing as where I expected someone to say this is 610 Sportsradio. She asked me who I was and I said I was Keith. There was dead silence. I figured I some how dialed the wrong number and got embarrassed and hung up. When I checked my out going calls though it said * 610.

A week later thinking it was just some strange thing, I tried again. Again the same young sounding girl answered. Again I got all embarrassed and hung up. This time the girl called me back, and I didn’t pick up the phone since I didn’t know how to explain the situation. Than she called back, so I figured I would answer it and make it clear to the girl I wasn’t some crazy stalker. Oddly enough her number shows up. She asked me who I was and I explained the problem. Although at this point since she got my voice message this time she knew my full name anyway.

Its like 905 number I think. I know it was a local cell phone exchange. I apologized. to her and said I had no idea how I was getting her instead of a radio station. Oddly enough if you checked my call log it was * 610 going out and her number coming in, the two were nothing alike.

I guess I can’t chime in ever because all I get is some random chick. I have no idea how or why something like this could happen. Its very bizarre. I wonder if anyone else keeps getting this poor girl. Maybe Drew should call it up and pretend and meet the chick for a blind date or something. Maybe he can ask her what the hell she is doing in my cell phone.

“Poop & Taxes”


Well for the two of you that have this website bookmarked on your computer it has been a long time since anything new has been posted here. The reason for that is because my computer was being upgraded for the past few days, leaving me with no internet access. My computers’ colors are now sharper and it makes a louder machine like noises so it must be better! I also finally got rid of Windows 98! So for the next few days I am going to try to update this place a bit more than usual to get back into the swing of things here.


Now that I am back on the Internet (Internet, eh stroking chin) its time to tackle a story I wanted to for awhile. As Drew would say its long past due.

Well our Governor who never meet a tax he didn’t like recently decided to make hotel and lodging taxes ridiculous. Keep in mind this money is going to fund the arts and theater of New Jersey. Why these tools can’t sit outside their theater with a tin-cup and beg for money is behind me. The following is fresh of the New Jersey Hotel and Lodging Association

Recently enacted legislation (P.L. 2003, c. 114) imposes a 7% State Occupancy Fee on the rent for every occupancy of a room in a hotel, motel or similar facility in most New Jersey municipalities, between August 1, 2003 and June 30, 2004. For occupancies on and after July 1, 2004, the Fee is reduced to 5%. A hotel/motel is a building regularly used and kept open for the lodging of guests, including bed and breakfasts, inns, etc. The State Occupancy Fee is imposed on the room rentals that are currently subject to the 6% New Jersey sales tax and is in addition to the sales tax.

So basically anyone who made their vacation plans in advance (most people do to get off of work) and slated their down time for the last month of summer are totally screwed. What the heck? Couldn’t they impose this tax after Labor Day? That would at least be fair. Or even December for that matter. The people who stayed in July didn’t have to pay this tax. Imagine how pissed off anyone from another state is who planned to go down the shore this place month. People budget their money ahead of time, and they are now shelling out boatload more of money since the taxes more than doubled. A 3 day weekend at a cheap motel could cost you 60 bucks in taxes easily. That doesn’t even include the town getting a piece of your wallet. Add another 1 % on if you stay in Newark or Jersey City, although I guess you have a death wish to stay in such miserable cities. Down the shore AC rakes in 1 % and Wildwood rakes in 3.15 %. Perhaps that money goes to drug dealers who want to start their own businesses.

I guess this plan may have been in the works behind the scenes for quite awhile perhaps they could not predict the months of rainy days that washed out profits for shore businesses. Or even all the sewer leaks that gave the Shore bad press this season. However you can’t tell me this isn’t going to encourage people to go to say Ocean City MD, instead of NJ. Its bad enough both Cape May and Ocean City has poop floating in their waters this summer. Is there a poop tax on the horizon?


This extra tax money is money that was likely to be spend on a nice dinner, or on the boardwalk. So if people spend that money on taxes the businesses at the shore get hurt because of decrease in people, and tighter wallets for the people down there.

Apparently JIMBO never took a ride down 73 in our area to realize that there are a boat load of hotels just the other side of Philly. The industry is booming in that area, but now it will be less tempting for people staying in Philly to bother with booking a hotel in NJ.

So to sum up, since people don’t go see a production of the latest Sean O’brien plays, people going down the shore have to be rapped out the ass. How about throwing a benefit concert or something? Why are we punishing such tourists? Why are we punishing blue collar NJ residents who stash away for their summer vacation?

Next time anyone is in Oaklyn and driving past the Ritz theater (the one where plays are performed near the Arter brothers), tell them to shove their funding up their ass. I am not sure if they are actually receiving money from the state or not, but it would be pretty funny.




POOP!

“End of Year One”


Roughly around this time last year is when I started this silly little web page. It was right before my last semester of college. Quite a bit has happened since I first published an article.

First off, socially pretty much all my friends were swinging singles. Okay lame singles. However, it’s not the case anymore. I was lucky enough to find Liza who for whatever reason puts up with me. Thankfully, she has been by my side since I graduated college. It has been a long and depressing job search since I finished classes. She has been supportive and the two of us have had a lot of great times together.

Meanwhile Ryan got back with his ex, and even Duke Mr. Antisocial is dating a cool chick right now. Lima Beanz who as Price would say held a candle for Jenna for a long time beat out the competition and won her over. In an unexpected turn no one could imagine last year, the two are starting a family together. They are connected for a lifetime. There is always Drew who shouldn’t get too down on himself. He made it through his first year of law school alive. I hope that he will become a lawyer, because I plan to live a life of crime if I don’t get out of Sears soon. I have to remind myself to ask him when I see him next if killing someone seeking student loan payments is against the law.

Meanwhile there are others like Steve who recently landed a teaching job. Dan K. who will be getting married in a little of a year, I hope his computers don’t grow jealous his wife. I fear Dan will name any kids they have after computer components. For whatever reason he keeps wishing that his company lays him off so I wish him all the luck in losing his high-paying job. The Old Mantis is still around. I am still not sure exactly what he does for a living, but I know it takes him a long time to go to work. Joe is going to be a vet in 4 years, and Rick had many humorous stories for us all.

Price had the most life changing experiences I would imagine just from the stories he gave us about what war is like. I cant even put into words how strange it was to hear about what he went through during the Iraq war.

I covered lots of events, some no one cares about. I have offered many slices of life from my warped mind, and almost every prediction I have ever made turned out wrong.

Drew and MosCOW already had blogs, and soon after that, Jenna started one. Each blog far superior to this one which makes me wonder how I managed to actually increase in readers over the past 12 months. I have taken lots of heat over my lack of proofreading skills, and slammed left and right for what I have written at times. I have provided many laughs both intentional and unintentional. I hope that I have given people something to look forward to checking on the Internet when they sign on. Even a reason to avoid work at their job. It is a chore to write sometimes, and I thought about canceling the blog once or two twice.

My original intention was to wrap up this experiment a year after I started; however, I decided to extend the life of Tucker’s World for the time being. If the end is near anytime soon I will certainly signal the ending for my readers to it does not hit them all at once. Thanks for reading both of you.

"The Book"

Since I have gotten a few emails about it. I will tell you that my father's book can be purchased online at amazon.com. The books is mainly a collection of letters that a distant realtive wrote while fighting the Civil War. Other information links the letters including side notes to famous events.

If you go to Amazon.com just type in Newton Colby and the book should come up. Its a bit more money than you would expect though. I doubt anyone that reads this will actually buy the book, but its cool to check out. Last I saw they only had two in stock, although I dont know how many they order from the publisher with a book like this.

Well I sat here after I realized an article I wrote for my blog dissolved on my computer somehow thinking how I didn’t really want to rewrite the article for a third time. Id figure it’s a good as time as any to address an issue some of my readers might have been waiting for. Before we get into it I am going to provide you with a quote.

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including Al Qaeda members, though there is apparently no evidence of his involvement in the terrible events of September 11, 2001. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons. Should he succeed in that endeavor, he could alter the political and security landscape of the Middle East, which as we know all too well affects American security."—Hillary Clinton October 2002.


"The Blog Writer, The War and The President"


Well despite the fact President Bush landed on air craft carrier a few months back and told us that heavy military combat is over for the most part, almost (if we didn’t hit it already) 100 U.S. soldiers have died. So we are not exactly out of the desert yet. Unfortunately, this “War” isn’t going to be over anytime soon. Just because we do not have, 24-hour coverage for it anymore doesn’t mean there isn’t anything going on. Thankfully, for US soldiers, Saddam’s kids are gone which will weaken resistance. Its typical of us Americans to get easily distracted and who could blame us given the number of us out of work.

As you might know I voted for Bush back in 2000. I am in small percent of my friends that I am a registered voter. Heck I don’t know anyone other than Drew that actually voted in the last election. Since Bush has made some bold moves people always ask me what I think . Than they ask me if anyone ever told me I look like Ben Stiller.


Well one of Bush’s main reasons to go to war was because Iraq had supposed weapons of mass destruction. Many people thought it was true for years, just ask the Clintons who for what ever reason were never questioned about making similar claims to Bush. Bush’s vague claim was apparently based on forged documents. He later claimed regime change and freeing the Iraqi people were objectives a weeks deep. Well the Iraqi people despite living in post-war chaos are free however its too early to tell if any kind of stable “regime” is going to be able until things settle down out there. Things really seemed to fall apart when the media broke a story that Bush had made false claims about what Iraq was hiding.


"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

First off let me clear up a common misconception the British government still stands by this claim so even if he were to say it today it wouldn’t technically by a lie. Yes, they still stand by that claim. This made people in an up-roar because of the previously mentioned forged documents provided by British intelligence. Tony Blair even came out publicly (although hardly mentioned in the US) and claimed the forged documents and the intelligence to back this claim were from separate reports. It makes sense since the forged document story had already been made public. So there is no official evidence that this claim can be filed under either category. It could be a cover-up, but than you would wonder why they have admitted to the pervious false information.


However, the US intelligence doesn’t have evidence to nod their head in agreement. In fact an early draft of the cited the US intelligence of making that claim but was changed. So at the very least Bush irresponsibly used “shady” information that could have gone either way. He likely wanted to include it in the State of the Union because it would be seen by more people than his run of the mill speech daytime on CNN opposite Jerry Springer.

Okay so did Bush have it out for Iraq from the start? Well I think George Clooney was some what right when he referred to the Bush team as a having policies similar to the Sopranos. I honestly do think the decision to go to war was decided long ago. I have many friends in the armed forces and a good number of them had almost exactly pinpointed the date the war would start a year in advance. So it was likely the year leading up to it with all the debating was just a song and dance for the American public. There is a reason why didn’t go after Saudi Arabia who has blatant ties to terrorists and September 11th., because they DO have nuclear weapons, and we are at an end game with them. So does Iran suposedly although many people think its not true. Than there is the always-popular North Korea who obviously has the nuclear capabilities to set many American Cities a blaze as they kindly put it. We don’t touch them because a war with them would pretty much mean the end of civilization With more and more countries having nuclear capabilities the US loses leverage.

So I think they knew Iraq was at best in the early stages of becoming a “made” country. So just like what happened to Joe Pesci in Goodfellas we took them out before they got their chance. So where are the weapons of mass destruction? A few theories think like many of the artifacts they were moved. Most likely to Syria in the weeks leading up to the war, and many others feel they were either dismantled ( mission accomplished I guess), or buried in the vast desert. Syria is supposedly “made” too. Although their conflicting reports that they could actually reach US soil. So far the most revealing think uncovered are old airplanes. Why they were buried pretty deep and I have no idea So its possible that chemical weapons are still buried out there. Sure if they had time to burry planes we didn’t care about why not a little antrhrax? Keep in mind I voted for Bush so throwing my arms up in the air and saying there are none doesn’t come as easily to me as others. On the other hand you would think if we have the technology to take a flea off the ass of a camel we could find traces of chemicals in the ground. Its been a year and the prospect of finding chemical weapons seem to be about as promising as my job search.

So was a Saddam threat to freedom loving Tucker? Was he a silent partner in September 11th? Well no hard evidence has been provided that he had anything to do with that horrible day. Well of course there are terrorists living in that country. That’s like asking if there are mosquitoes living in South Jersey. However their beef is mainly with Turkey. That is the country not the bird, although they might hate that featherless chicken since its started in Israel. They don’t want any peace treaties. They basically are the ones that blow busses and stuff up on CNN. So they are threat to Isreal Tucker I guess.

Now are we hypocrites for having chemical and biological weapons ourselves? To a certain extent we are. However, we are the police of the free world. How are we going to pull that off with sticks and stones. I am glad we have such weapons since we get called upon constantly to take care of things. Look at the Libya situation. Do you really thinking asking us to jump in is a coincidence? There is a reason why they don’t ask Canada to regulate.

Now are going to into Syria? I doubt first off it wouldn’t make sense militarily. WE have enough trouble in Afghanistan if you forgot about them, that is the country were most the “evil doers” from September 11th lived and we are still fighting enemy forces and losing American Soilders there too. Secondly, they shared some intelligence information with us after September 11th that helped us. The terrorists that hang out there for the most part are the ones that bother other people in other countries who aren’t us. So perhaps the weapons of mass destruction were sold to those guys with the funny names. Than of course they could turn around and sell them to al-Qaeda with a high mark up value. Than again this is just me speculating. We better hope there wasn’t any Weapons of Mass destruction in this case. However given the public knowledge of what Syria can do when push comes to shove, I doubt we will go in and find out and put our allies and ourselves at farther risk.

Now the big question one the one person’s mind who actually read this humor lacking blog (although it can be argued that is not unusual) did President Bush mislead us? Did he make Tucker regret he voted for him? Am I disappointed?



Well I think he mislead us to the point where I don’t think our only goal was to free the Iraqis. I think it was to get station in the middle east. To be able to keep a watchful eye on things and protect our interests. I think it was horribly wrong of Bush to act like the war was over, and he has made some blunders like the “Bring Them On” statement. I think the actual possession of “weapons of mass destruction” were a combination of Bush manipulating facts and figures. Although I guess telling us we were going to over throw a horrible person and free people goes over a lot better than, we are going to pick the best place in the middle east to set up shop. I think some misinformation may have been put out by others that didn’t wanted Saddam out of there. I think this decision to go to war was made maybe even before September 11th.

Was it worth it? Are we safer? Did we make things worse? Well only time will tell political junkies and news paper columnists can write all they want but we wont be able to find out until the history books include chapters about this time in America.

In all fairness, if they really wanted to mislead us at least they did not plant any WMD. However I do feel jaded and confused with all the conflicted information that is out there. I do seriously doubt we will ever see the smoking gun. I guess on the bright side one less nuclear country to worry about. One the dark side we may have created the next Afghanistan (they got pissed after we helped them out too) or managed to make an enemy out of a supposed friend like we did to Iraq. Although Saddam brought that on himself for the most part.

The sad thing is I don’t think it mattered. Bush was going to go to war if we liked it or not. At this point it would appear he either knew there was no threat and lied to the American people or he just made a horrible miscalculation rolled the dice and lost. Maybe once the ball started rolling he didn’t care that all signs pointed to we might be a tad off base. We were going to for it and try to accomplish something good if we could.


If Bush was up for relection tomorrow I wouldn’t vote for him. For one thing, I disagree on his stance on gay marriages, and for another I don’t trust him enough anymore. He needs to earn my trust back for me to vote with him with a clear conscience and confidence he will do the right things. Although I think things were blown out of proportion in some instances by the democrats if I cant understand the man’s motives when it comes to risking lives than I don’t know if I can help reelect him. The lesson I have learned from this whole incident is we are just pawns in the game played by rich powerful people. My friends Duke and Dan might be right after all. There is no point in voting.


Maybe things will work out for the best maybe we did the right thing. I have researched a lot for this article and its funny sometimes the more you know the less you understand.

"Head of the State"


Well apparently, New Jersey has similar state laws to California about ousting the states Governor. However the amount of signatures needed is in the millions and the process from what I read in the Inquirer is quite harder than the process in California. Given the apathy of most this state I doubt it will its possible that we will see any celebrities running for Governor

I am too lazy too look up if I am remotely old enough to run for the head of the Garden State, however that didn’t stop me from making a list of things I would do to make your living conditions better in the state of New Jersey.

Here are a few things I was kicking around in my head the other day when I was supposed to be doing work.


Make it mandatory for all High School Seniors to travel to Lucy the Elephant in Margate.

Make the New York Giants change their name to the New Jersey Giants. They play in FREAKING New Jersey. What a bunch of posers.

Legalize same sex marriages. Ban marriages between people from North Jersey and South Jersey.

Cut taxes for everyone south of Trenton, and raise them for everyone North of Trenton.


Make Starview’s “buffalo wings” illegal.

Start a government funded Frisbee league.

Abolish all statuary rape laws.

Pass a mandate that Drew has to recite the pledge of allegiance when he awakes.

Fine any South Jersey bloggers who unjustly attack Duke

Pass a law in the state for schools to require a “Weird New Jersey” class.


Delcare November 10th Roy Scheider day. We will look the other way that he was born in NORTH Jersey.

“Music by the HIGHway”

So an old friend of mine Royce called me out the blue this past week. Apparently, he is still alive and residing in New York State. Royce called to inform me that he would be breezing into the Delaware Valley for a few days and his band who he moved to New York with would be putting on two shows one in Cherry Hill and one in Philly.

It was really great to see Royce, because I only see him a few times a year (sadly I didn’t get my annual holiday visit this year) and when we hang out its like we just hung out the day before. Its never awkward despite not spending time together anymore. Royce one of my first friends that drove me around always amused me with his thinking outside the box, and his off beat sense of humor.


Anyway Royce had told me that he was playing at a place called Woodstock in Cherry Hill. I had never heard of what I figured was either a café or a bar. Where else would have a band play? Well apparently, it was actually a “Head Shop” before you go running for you hip-slang dictionary let me save you the trouble. Apparently, “Head Shops” are places where people buy drug related paraphernalia. The story main theme is weed and everything weed related. So anyone that knows me, realizes how out of place this makes me.

After I heard about it I half expected (and was a little creeped out) to see bongs hanging on walls and various other instruments people use to get “weeded up”. So Royce, Ryan, Lima Beanz and I arrive there to find that Royce’s bandmates were no where to be seen. So it gave me time to explore a “head shop” for the first time. I am either naïve or oblivious but I could not find anything that you could “put your weed in man!” Although I began picking up objects and trying to figure out how they could hide or store drugs. I honestly had myself convinced that the Simpsons Pez dispensers might have another use that I was unaware of. However now that I think of it its hard enough storing the candy in those darn things let alone dope. A friend of mine who recently made the wise decision to make his year long hiatus from the drug a permanent one (mad props) theorized you have to give a code word to get the “tools” used to get bowled over. Not unlike the ball washing place in Hi-Nella, however I only found evidence of an animal living there and a toilet only hidden behind a curtain made of beads. This place made me glad I never did drugs.

The store does proudly boast the biggest selection of incense on the east coast. Originally, they served as a way to over come the smell over simmering drugs, but now their main purpose it to apparently gag to death anyone that isn’t stoned. I think I’d rather smell my cat’s droppings than have someone permeate a room with that stench.

The store also sells magazines all about getting weeded up, soap made of hemp, and the largest collection of hideous shirts on the east coast. I can’t imagine anyone who isn’t blind or on drugs purchasing these eyesores. If I did purchase them I would shove them in a South Jersey landfill where they belong. While waiting for Royce’s MIA band members we met the owner of the store. She was a hippie woman well into her 50s. She told us to just call her “mom”. Why not everyone that worked there did, they seemed to have a lot of workers for place that was deader than Gregory Hines. I honestly think two people bought stuff the entire time we were there. Creepily enough it was seemingly a man and his daughter.

So eventually the band shows up in 70s style short bus, and the people to footwear ratio was more lopsided than Rob Arter walking out of South Philly bar. Mostly the band was mainly made up of long hair, bearded free spirits who were ready to put on a show despite having Ryan, Lima Beanz and I as their only audience members. One of the band’s trademarks is their alien puppets that take to the road with them. There are two of them, one female and one male. The female has two sets of breasts, and the male has a large black penis that flaps in the breeze. The two dolls were in poor shape, and “Mom” pitched in and sewed them right up. She made sure that large black penis was in tip-top shape for his big Philly show.

I was surprised when the band set up out side. Because there is a very small amount of land between the store and the always busy Route 70, and I imagine passing motorists must have thought it was odd. Especially since Mom did her sewing right out in the open sitting with the band. Eventually the puppets did do a little jig with out any self-consciousness about there genital being exposed.


The band played various songs, and are a grateful dead type of band. Not really my kind of thing, but you can tell they were good at their type of music. Each band member gelled well together and they seemed like they could easily feel where one another was going with the music. The songs melted into each other like ice cream on summers days. When they did try to explain the meaning of their songs, I was even more confused. Perhaps you have to be higher than the WPVI Channel 6 Zoo Balloon ( I have been waiting so long to reference that for some reason) to get on their wave length. Royce really got into it and seemed more entertaining than their actual front man. We left because we had to hit the road. The band seemed to keep on playing despite only a few people that were standing there. You see they would have played if not one person was there. Royce and his buddies would just jam on doing their own thing. Because that’s the way he lives his life.

Royce cares not for the cookie cutter ideal “good life” he is truly doing what he wants to do everyday. Playing music he loves. Some might say that Royce’s life is a tad bizarre, but heck you have to give him credit for not being shackled by such downers like a job he hates or doing what is mainstream. Rock on Royce!